Running on Empty (Mending Hearts, #1)

by L. B. Simmons

  What? Do I look like a naïve little girl? Winks don’t work on me. I walk by and punch him, with my good hand obviously, as hard as I can in the arm. “Shut it, Blake.”

  “Alex, be careful,” he says, feigning concern while flexing his bicep. “That right there is pure steel. We can’t have you breaking your other hand now can we?”

  I roll my eyes at him and immediately hear the girls’ laughter. Kyndall takes the bowl over to Blake and gives him a curtsey after he takes it from her.

  “Please girls. Don’t encourage him. It only makes it worse. Trust me.” I set my coffee on the kitchen table as I take a seat. I hear the sizzle of the pancake batter as it hits the skillet and smell the sweet aroma as it cooks. Blake turns from the skillet for a brief second and gives me a mischievous grin.

  “How’d you sleep last night? You sure were tired. And quite hilarious I might add,” he says turning back to face the skillet. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to hide any evidence of laughter.

  “Don’t get me started, Blake. I couldn’t help it.”

  He turns back around to me and continues his mockery. “I know. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t hilarious, and kinda cute.”

  Out of frustration, I put my head down in my hands and rub the heels of my hands into my eyeballs. “Blake, seriously, I’m about to not be cute at all. Trust me, I’m warning you because you are my dear friend and I care about you. Knock it off!”

  Blake once again turns back to the stove and I can see his shoulders convulsing. I’m really contemplating murdering this man. But when I look at my girls as they watch our exchange, all with huge grins on their faces, all the frustration leaves my body. I roll my eyes at them and jerk my head in Blake’s direction. Once they’ve figured out Blake is in no real danger, they all happily go back to their breakfast duties.

  After a few minutes, the girls put their finishing touches on the plate of warm pancakes and bacon they prepared for me and start to carry it to the table. A couple of times, in the only ten feet of distance, they almost drop it since they all had to be touching the plate.

  Rylie would get mad if they held it too high and she couldn’t reach it, which would lead to her bouncing up and down in a mini-tantrum and hitting her head on the plate. Nycole would then have to bend over so Rylie could reach it which would lead to her complaining that her back was hurting. Yes, just ten feet. Eventually Blake steps in and holds the plate to ensure everyone can touch it and to make sure it successfully crosses the kitchen without being splattered all over the floor.

  I watch Blake, his tall body hunched over gently carrying the plate. I can’t help but smile at him – while he isn’t looking of course – because he really is sweet with the girls.

  Obviously I’m going to have an in-depth discussion with them about my relationship with Blake. He’s the first man in this house, literally, since Derek. I don’t want the girls to jump to conclusions. The situation is a delicate one, but one that I definitely need to get a hold of before any misconceptions occur.

  Blake looks up from the plate to meet my eyes and I immediately remove any evidence of smiling and replace it with an annoyed glare. I watch as corners of his mouth just barely tip up and he clears his throat in an effort not to laugh. Honestly, I can’t even remember why I’m mad at him. But I’m sure whatever it is, it’s a good reason. I think I’m too distracted by the food to remember, or care.

  I turn my attention to the yumminess in front of me and struggle to not immediately start shoveling the food in my mouth. I wait patiently while Blake helps Kyndall and Rylie get their plates ready, which goes surprisingly well, brings them to the table and goes back to get his own plate with Nycole. While they head to the table, I look down at the pancakes.

  “Um, guys. Why are these pancakes brown? Are they burnt?” I say picking up the top one and turning it over for examination. I lift it to my nose and sniff. Chocolate.

  I look up at Nycole and Kyndall as they attempt to use the “bat the eyelashes and smile” technique to proclaim their innocence.

  Raising my eyebrows at them (they so don’t have me fooled) I ask, “How many chocolate chips are left in the bag?” They look at each other, obviously deciding who’s actually going to be representing the guilty parties. It’s Kyndall that steps up to the plate – I mentally applaud their effort. It’s nice to see them working together actually.

  “None, Mama. But we had to use them all. We wanted to make them really chocolaty for you. We wanted you to have the best breakfast ever, since you hurt your hand yesterday. We did it for you,” she says, her eyes as wide as saucers.

  Well played, child of mine. Well, played.

  I narrow my eyes at her and look over at Nycole who’s nodding her head in support of her little sister. I then glance over at Blake who’s obviously having shoulder problems this morning because they’re shaking again. Then I look at Rylie who couldn’t care less about this conversation and has already started eating her “chocolate extreme” pancakes. She looks up and flashes her dimples at me.

  “Okay,” I say, looking back at Kyndall. “Just next time, ease up a bit on the chocolate. I don’t buy a whole bag of chocolate chip for a single use. Got it?”

  “Got it Mama. Love you!”

  “Love you too, sweetie. Now let’s eat! I’m starving!” I say picking up my fork.

  I take a bite of the pancake and actually, it’s pretty good. I smile at the girls. “Delicious! You guys did a great job. So are you guys gonna start cooking every morning or is this just a weekend thing?”

  “Well…Blake helped,” Nycole says a little too sweetly. “It depends how much he’s here.”

  I laugh. “Well, Blake isn’t going to be spending the night with us again. Sorry guys. That was just a onetime thing since Harlow and Nancy were both out of town and I needed someone to help me.”

  I notice Blake spit some of his coffee back into his cup and start to choke when the word “help” is used. I ignore him and keep speaking.

  “There won’t be any reason for him to spend the night again.” I watch all of their faces fall. Yeah, we’re going to need to have this conversation ASAP.

  With their poor grief-stricken faces looking back at me, I add quickly, “But that doesn’t mean he can’t come over for breakfast some mornings. But that’s up to Blake. And,” I say with emphasis, “it’s not going to be every weekend. I know how you guys work. Blake has his own life and won’t be able to come over every time you guys ask, okay?” I say, shooting a quick glance at Blake to make sure he isn’t hyperventilating from a panic attack in the corner of the kitchen. Although the spitting of the coffee was completely unnecessary, so I doubt I would help him if he was.

  “Girls,” he says, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “How about we start at breakfast two times a month? Two Sundays every month, we’ll have breakfast that we’ll cook together, to remember the weekend that your mom and I became best friends again? How do you guys feel about that?”

  “Whooo-hoooo!”

  “Yay!”

  “So cool!”

  I can do nothing but mouth a silent thank you to him from across the table. He nods in acceptance and takes another sip of his coffee while striking up a random conversation with the girls.

  It seems that Blake Morgan has an uncanny ability to take my breath away constantly. Wow. I’m honestly in awe at how giving this man is. I’m so lucky to have him back in my life. As my best friend. And hopefully for a very long time.

  After taking a sip of my own coffee, I smile at him once again and then at each of my girls.

  Yes, this is definitely the beginning of a beautiful friendship…again.

  After breakfast the rest of the day went pretty quickly. Nycole got her ‘Nycole time’ as promised, in which she locked herself in the office and watched her own movie. Blake, Kyndall, and I played the only thing I could play one handed on the Wii. Wii Tennis. However, I was evidently becoming, as Blake put it, a little too competitive since I threw the remote across the
room after he landed an ace on me.

  So now, while Blake and Kyndall battle it out, I’m curled up with Rylie on the couch reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar – slightly aggravated at Blake’s version of ‘time-out for Alex’. But regardless of what mood I’m in, reading this book with her always makes me laugh. It never fails that she calls the plums – blueberries, the Swiss cheese – pineapple, the salami – pa-slami, and the pie – pizza.

  Wrapping up reading time, I almost feel better about being kicked out of the tennis game…almost. I’m still a little peeved actually, but listening to Kyndall’s infectious laugh as she gets a point in against Blake, I can’t help but giggle myself.

  “You know, Blake, I can beat her. Just let me know if you need my help,” I say, watching them from time out.

  “No thanks, Alex,” Blake says through his teeth, jumping up and down as he hits the ball. Wow, he’s really into this game. And now I’m really into the game because he just got beat by my seven year old. Ha-ha-ha!

  I hear Nycole finally exiting from the office, probably because Kyndall‘s laughing incredibly hard at Blake throwing an oversized fit in the middle of the living room.

  “Come on, Nycole,” Blake finally says. “I need rest. Your sister’s killin’ me over here. Come beat her so her head doesn’t get too big.” He walks by Kyndall, palming her head and ruffing her hair.

  “She can’t beat me either, Blake. I. Am. The. Champion!” Kyndall shouts in a booming voice. “But she can try I guess.” She walks over to the “Wii” drawer to get Nycole her own controller.

  My mouth drops open as I stare down at the two biggest traitors in the world. “What?” I exclaim. “I said I wanted to – oh, forget it! You guys are no longer my friends.” I say with my best pouty face.

  Laughing at me, Kyndall says, “I’m not your friend, I’m your daughter, silly Mama.”

  “Yeah, well, you know what I mean,” I say, still pouting.

  Blake looks over and I roll my eyes at him. You suck, I mouth to him so none of my children can hear me. He gives me a grin and turns back around to watch Kyndall and Nycole play. I sit there for a few seconds, secretly envious that I can’t show these people how to really play Wii Tennis. Oh well, their loss…

  I hear my phone vibrating on the table. Harlow’s name appears on the screen and I smile. I miss my best friend but, oddly enough, not as much as I usually would. Probably because Blake was here to watch The Breakfast Club with me and regularly make fun of the girls…Harlow’s two favorite past times. I reflect on how much I’ve actually enjoyed spending the last day with Blake. I guess when I decided to open the floodgates of my past with him, I connected with him in a way that I didn’t think I would be able to do with anyone besides Harlow. I know that we still have a lot of our friendship to rebuild, there has been some damage done there, but I think we’re off to a pretty solid start. I feel really good about it.

  It would be really nice to have someone to lean on besides Harlow. She has spent the last three years, three of her prime years, taking care of me and my children. I honestly hope and pray that she’ll be able to move on with her own life without feeling guilty now. Hopefully this moving on includes Trace, because I see the way he looks at her, and I know deep down in my soul he is what she needs and deserves.

  So as I let go of Rylie and lean over to grab my phone, I find myself making a mental note to find out all I can about Harlow’s feelings for him. It will be nice focusing on her for a change. Smiling, I hit the answer button on my phone.

  “What’s up love? How are you? Where are you?” I shoot the questions out before she even has a chance to say hello. Wow, I guess I miss her a little more than I thought.

  I watch Rylie pick a plastic grape off of the centerpiece on my table and pop it in her mouth. “Hold on, Harlow.” I put my hand over the receiver so I don’t deafen my best friend.

  “Rylie Meyer! Get that grape out of your mouth before you choke on it.” She spits the grape into her hand. She then turns, looks straight at me, puts her hand on her hip, and says, “Well…I didn’t die last time I did it, did I?” Blake immediately starts cracking up. She pops the grape back in her mouth.

  “Stop laughing, Blake. It’s not funny. Please get that grape from her.” I watch nervously as he chases her around the living room, grape still in her mouth, which isn’t as easy as it may seem, because my baby girl is fast! But finally he catches her and she spits the grape into his hand. I’m shocked that he isn’t completely grossed out. I would be, and she’s my child. But once he has it, he does a quick celebration dance, making the girls giggle, and then throws the spit covered grape in the trashcan.

  I breathe a quick sigh of relief and turn my attention back to my conversation with Harlow. “Go ahead, sorry. Rylie’s just trying to kill herself again. You know…the usual.” Harlow laughs out loud, almost deafening me.

  “Well, we’re on our way back now. We should be there in a couple of hours. We’re gonna stop to grab a bite to eat first. How are you feeling? Is Blake still there? How did it go with him there? Did he stay the night? Have the girls forgiven him yet? So sorry about that by the way. You know I generally speak before I think. I apparently lack whatever mental filter God gave everyone else in the world,” she says with a bit of laughter in her voice.

  I smile at her thousand questions. I guess she must have missed me a little too.

  “Yeah, he definitely has worked some Blake Morgan charm on them. I’ve been completely forgotten in this house.” Unfortunately, Blake chooses that time to re-enter the room and catches my pseudo-compliment. He smiles widely knowing that he just heard something that he wasn’t supposed to. I roll my eyes and turn my body away from him.

  “Harlow – they won’t even let me play tennis with them. There has been a coup d’état in this house, I tell ya. I’m no longer the queen of my own castle. My reign is no longer.”

  She giggles into the phone. “Excellent, that’s what I want to hear. Listen, I have to go. I just wanted to check on you before we stop for lunch. Like I said, we’ll be there soon. Do you need us to pick up anything for you on our way?”

  “Wait, I have questions for you about this little excursion you decided to take without even asking me for my permission. What’s going on with you and Trace? Are you guys dating? Because I’m pretty sure you don’t date at all! ” I ask her with obvious amusement in my voice.

  “Alex, we will discuss this in depth at a later time. Like, as soon as I get to your house. So be patient, because I’m sure you want every single detail, which I am not at liberty to discuss fully at this time. Get me?” she says while giggling into the phone. Obviously Trace has caught on to the topic of our conversation.

  I find myself unable to control my grin. “Sure, but you better lawyer up because you are getting the fifth degree when you get here. Get me?”

  “Yeah, I got ya. Love you sweetie. See you very soon. And don’t worry, you’ll also be getting your own line of questioning, so be prepared to spill. Bye, Alex.”

  “Bye hon, be safe and see ya soon. Love you,” I say, hanging up my phone. Blake crashes down on the couch beside me leaving Kyndall and Nycole to their game. Rylie immediately crawls into his lap and continues to watch her sisters.

  “Harlow?” he asks, still grinning.

  “Yeah, they’re on their way back. You’ll be relieved of your duties in a couple of hours.”

  “Well, thank God for that. I mean, hanging out with kids and playing video games all day…it’s been really awful. I’ll be glad to finally be done with all of this hard work,” he says elbowing me in the side.

  “You know what I mean, Blake. I’m sure there’s stuff you need to do. You can’t take care of me forever. You have your own life.” I elbow him right back.

  “Ouch!” he cries out as he grabs his side. “You have some sharp elbows, Alex.” Rylie looks as him with concern, but Blake winks at her. She smiles back at him and crawls off of his lap to sit closer to Nycole and Kyndall. />
  “I know. They’re lethal weapons so watch out. I plan on using them next time you guys decide I can’t play. Jerks,” I add with a roll of my eyes.

  Blake laughs and looks forward, focusing on the game.

  “It doesn’t make you a weak person if you let people help you every once in a while,” he says quietly.

  I look over at him but he continues facing the TV.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’re so stubborn, Alex.” He finally turns and faces me. He looks me directly in the eyes and doesn’t hesitate. “It doesn’t bother me to be here no matter what you think. I enjoyed the time I’ve spent with you and your girls this weekend. This is the most fun I’ve had in a really long time, longer than what you probably realize. So stop trying to push me away, Alex. I know what you’re doing.”

  I break his gaze as I look down to the floor. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Blake.”

  He doesn’t force me to look back at him as he continues. “Yes, you do, Alex. You know exactly what you’re doing. You’re trying to push me away. You’re trying to make yourself believe that I don’t want to be here. Trying to convince yourself that my life can’t include you. This is the second time you’ve attempted to make a point regarding me having my own life. I do have a life, Alex, but that doesn’t mean it can’t include you. I’m not going to let you push away this friendship because you feel scared, or guilty, or whatever is bringing this on. I’m not going anywhere. So stop pushing.”

  I look up from the floor to once again meet his eyes. They’re full of determination. And a little anger. I immediately reach over and give his hand a gentle squeeze.

  “I’m sorry, Blake. I can’t explain why I do it. I guess part of me feels like I’ve already taken advantage of Harlow’s kindness and I don’t want to do the same to you. I don’t want you to miss out on your life because of me. You have so much of it left to live. I don’t want you to get sucked into my life, only to look back one day and realize you missed out on yours. That’s all,” I say, letting out a deep breath.