Never Forget Him

by Tracy Lorraine

  I slide on my red court shoes, telling myself there’s no way Jay will know I’m not wearing any underwear. I spritz myself with some perfume before sitting on the edge of the bed. I’m just about to grab my phone to take a photo of myself to send Frankie when I hear the door open.

  My heart begins to pound as I wait for him to round the corner into the bedroom. I listen to his footsteps for a few seconds before he begins to get closer.

  My breath catches the moment he appears in the doorway.

  “Wow,” I breathe, taking him in from head to toe.

  He’s dressed in a perfectly pressed white shirt with a slim black tie and black trousers. It’s a million miles away from how he’s looked in his jeans and hoodies.

  “I could be saying the same thing. You look stunning,” he says, his eyes running over every inch of my body. “I knew that dress was made for you.”

  “When did you get it?”

  “That morning I went off in Inverness.”

  “Oh.”

  “I saw in it a window and it had your name written all over it.”

  “It’s gorgeous.”

  “You are.”

  He steps up to me and cups my cheek in his hand. “How was I so lucky to find you?” Tears pool in my eyes. “Hey, none of that. We’ve got reservations.” He leans in to kiss me but when he glances at my red lips, he changes his mind at the last minute and goes for my neck instead. He kisses and nips down my neck and across my chest until he’s skimming the swell of my breasts with his soft lips.

  “I wish you understood how sexy you look to me.” As he says this, he runs his hands down my back and squeezes my arse. I feel his head lift from my cleavage and when I look up, his dark, hungry eyes are gazing at me. “Skittles?” he questions as he continues caressing my arse.

  “Shit.” My face flushes, knowing I’ve been caught without underwear.

  “Oh, no. Never apologise for being this incredibly sexy. If I wasn’t so fucking hungry I’d have made you come already; I can still taste you from the last time. I was so fucking desperate to have you that night but caving to it has only made it worse.”

  He drops to his knees and presses his nose between my legs. I want to be embarrassed but one look in his eyes when he glances up and I feel anything but. He presses his nose in a little harder and sparks shoot from my clit. My knees threaten to buckle but thankfully, Jay stands and pulls me to him.

  “Dinner?” he asks, as if that didn’t just happen.

  “Uh…sure.”

  * * *

  Dinner was amazing—from what I can remember of it. Having those grey eyes looking at me over the table had me pretty distracted. Every time I looked at Jay, I was back upstairs with his hands and lips on me. It doesn’t help that every chance he gets, he places his hand high up on my thigh or runs his foot up my leg. I’m sat here just about ready to combust.

  I thought we were done and was eager to get back upstairs to have him alone when he accepts the waiter’s offer of coffee.

  “Didn’t you want coffee?” he asks, although I can see a glint in his eye.

  “Sure.”

  “Or is there something you want more?”

  I squirm in my seat and a slow, sexy smirk appears on his face.

  “Tell me what it is you do want, Erin.”

  I break my eye contact, too embarrassed to vocalise what I’m thinking.

  “Now’s not the time to be shy, Skittles. If you want what I think you want, you’re going to have to tell me. I told you I’d only do anything once you were begging. Well, now’s the time to start, baby.”

  My chin drops open and I look back into his eyes. Am I about to beg for more of Jayden Baxter? Yeah, I’m pretty sure I am. A little voice sparks up in my head; it’s now or never. I swallow down the never part because I don’t want thoughts of our fast approaching end ruining tonight, and I focus on the now.

  “I want you.”

  He raises his eyebrows as if he wants me to continue.

  “I want you to do what you did before.”

  Another eyebrow arch.

  “With your tongue,” I whisper as I fight to keep eye contact.

  “And…” he encourages.

  I drop my eyes down to his crotch before slowly climbing back up to meet his amused yet hungry eyes. “I want all of you.”

  He stares at me, looking totally unaffected, but his darkening eyes tell me he’s very much interested.

  “Thank you,” Jay says, confusing me, but seconds later two coffees are placed on our table.

  I sit back and glance around the room as I try to relax. I jump when Jay’s hand lands on my thigh. “Come on, drink up,” he says as his little finger starts to stray until it’s gently rubbing against my mound. “I’m not opposed to getting you off right here,” he warns before sipping on his coffee.

  I have two sips of mine before I push my chair out behind me, grab my bag, and begin to walk off. I feel him behind me in seconds, his heat warming my bare back and his hands landing on my waist.

  “I didn’t think you were ever going to move,” he whispers in my ear.

  Jay crowds me into the corner of the lift once the doors open and he’s just about to lean in to kiss me when I feel someone else step into the small space. Jay looks into my eyes before reluctantly stepping back from me. That one look holds a promise, a promise that makes my insides quiver.

  As soon as the doors open, he grabs my hand and pulls me to our room and through to the bedroom.

  “Jay, slow down,” I complain, when my heels stop me moving as fast as him. “What the fuck?” I squeal, when my feet leave the floor.

  “Can’t wait for you,” Jay mutters once he has me over his shoulder.

  One of his hands squeezes my arse while the other one shoots up under the fabric of my dress and slowly starts to slide up my leg. Heat pools between my thighs with every inch closer he gets.

  I just about manage to contain my moan when he stops and throws me onto the bed. “Hey,” I complain, but when I look up to see him pulling at his tie, I shut my mouth in favour of watching him strip.

  His tie hits the floor before he starts working on his shirt buttons. I follow his hands as he makes his way down. The white fabric soon joins the tie and I expect him to start on his trousers but, to my surprise, he drops to his knees instead.

  He grabs one of my ankles and gently slides my shoe off before it drops to the floor with a thud, followed by the other.

  “You have no idea what kind of images have been running around my head with you looking like this tonight. The things I want to do to you…”

  I groan at his words. He could suggest almost anything right now and I think I’d say yes.

  When his lips touch my ankle, I fall back onto the bed in favour of focusing on the sensation. Before I know it, he has my dress around my waist and my legs spread. I’m totally exposed to him.

  “Beautiful,” he mutters between kisses up my inner thigh. As he gets closer, my muscles start to clench in anticipation. “I’ve dreamt about doing this every minute since I first tasted you.”

  “Jay,” I moan just as his tongue connects with my sensitive skin. “Shit, ahhhh.”

  It’s as good as I remember but when I open my eyes and see Jay between my legs, it becomes so much more. I scratch my nails over his short hair as I moan and rock against his mouth.

  “Come on my mouth,” I hear him say against me, and the vibration of his words gets me right on the edge of my release. He presses his thumb to my clit before sliding his tongue inside me, and it’s the final straw. Light bursts behind my eyes and my entire body twitches and shakes as my release hits. Jay says something again and the vibrations make my orgasm stronger.

  I’m panting when he pulls away from me and stands. I feel his stare but I can’t open my eyes, not yet.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful.” I’m not sure I believe him in this instance, as I’m sweating with my dress hitched up around my waist. “Erin, look at me.”


  When I do as I’m told, Jay is gloriously naked before me. I take my time running my eyes over every solid but perfect inch of him. I’ve never seen a man naked in the flesh before, so when I get to his waist, I’m not sure where to look. That is, until he takes himself in his hand. Then, I’m fascinated.

  “Get up,” he demands, and I do immediately.

  I step up to him so my breasts brush his chest and he wastes no time in taking my mouth. I can taste myself on his lips. For a second, it makes me want to pull away, but as soon as I feel his tongue against mine I forget all about it. His hands lift to my shoulders and he pulls the straps down over my arms, allowing my dress to pool at my feet. The second it hits the floor, he pulls his lips away from mine and stands back.

  “Fuck,” he mutters as he runs his eyes over me. “So fucking perfect.” My skin ignites as his eyes burn a trail into me. “You ready for this?”

  I nod, because the way he’s looking at me renders me speechless.

  “You sure you want it to be me? You don’t want to wait for someone special, someone who can give you everything you deserve?”

  I’m desperate to tell him he is special, that he’s given me everything and more during our time together, but the words get stuck on my tongue. So instead of speaking, I step back into him and show him. I run my hands up from his waist, across his chest and over his shoulders so I can pull him to me. I kiss him as I walk us back to the bed. When I feel the mattress against my legs, I fall back and pull him with me.

  Jay allows me to scoot up the bed before crawling over me, ensuring he kisses every bit of skin he can on the way up.

  “I don’t think this will last very long,” he admits as he runs the tip of his tongue around the shell of my ear. “I’ve been waiting for too long.”

  “Don’t care.”

  Jay’s fingers run down my stomach until he finds my swollen clit. He teases me until I’m squirming under him again before pumping his fingers inside me to ensure I’m ready.

  “Okay?” he asks when he’s in position between my open legs with his cock in his hand.

  I nod. I know what he’s really saying, this is going to hurt, but I’m okay with that. This is right; there’s no one else I’d rather be here with right now, no one else I’ve ever really considered. I didn’t know it before, but I was waiting for him.

  A second later, I feel myself stretch as he presses inside me slowly. It doesn’t hurt like I was expecting. It actually feels nice, and I’m seriously relieved.

  “Okay?”

  I nod and he presses farther, and just as I think everyone exaggerates about the pain, it hits me.

  “Ugh,” I grunt.

  “I’m sorry.” Jay leans forward to kiss me before he quickly thrusts forward again. I moan against his lips and dig my nails into his back. He continues to kiss me as the pain subsides.

  “I know you’re hurting right now but you have no idea how fucking incredible you feel,” he whispers in my ear.

  “I’m okay,” I say as I flex my hips slightly.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Thank fuck.” His hips are moving before he finishes speaking.

  Just like he warned, it doesn’t last very long. It’s only a few thrusts before he groans; his entire body goes still, and then I feel him releasing inside me. The look on his face as he comes is an image I’ll never forget as long as I live.

  When he’s finished, he falls on top of me, panting; he’s heavy, but I love the weight of him on me. I wrap my arms around his back and make the most of this time.

  After a minute or two, he pulls his head from my neck and sweeps away the hair that had fallen across my face. “Are you okay?” he asks, so softly it makes tears sting my eyes.

  “Yes. Was that…?”

  “Incredible, Erin. Fucking incredible.”

  I smile wide.

  “Next time, I’m going to make you scream,” he promises. “But first,” he says, as he gets up and walks to the bathroom. The sound of running water gets me moving and in seconds, I’m stood in the doorway, watching him leaning over the bath, adjusting the water temperature.

  “Hey,” he says when he turns around and sees me watching.

  “Hey.”

  He looks at me like he wants to say something else, but he must change his mind because after a few seconds, he walks over, lifts me into his arms, and kisses me before gently placing me in the soothing warm water.

  “Where are you going?” I ask in a panic when he starts to leave the room. I thought this was going to be a two-person bath.

  “I’ll be back,” he says before disappearing and leaving me alone. Reality hits me hard in that moment. After the high of tonight, knowing this is all about to come to an end is a hard blow to take.

  “What’s wrong?”

  I look over to see Jay stood a few feet from the bath with a concerned look on his face and a bottle of bubbles and two glasses in hand.

  “This is our last night together, isn’t it?”

  “Erin,” he says, setting the bottle and glasses down and getting in with me. He pulls me to him and starts kissing me.

  For a few hours, I forget all about what’s to come, and focus everything I have on him.

  Chapter Eight

  “Morning, Skittles,” Jay says with a wide smile from the floor where he’s doing his daily sit ups when I wake.

  “Morning.” I try to sound all chipper. Although he never confirmed it last night, I know I’ve just woken up to our last day together and I’d rather cry than smile right now.

  He gets himself up, then crawls over to me.

  “Morning breath,” I complain.

  “Don’t care.” He bats my hand out of the way and presses his lips against mine. “I’ve ordered breakfast to the room. We need to be out by eleven.”

  “Okay,” I mutter sadly as there’s a knock at the door.

  When Jay reappears, it’s with a trolley full of food. My stomach grumbles right on cue, and we both tuck in. We may have had a three-course meal last night but we did plenty of exercise to burn it off after. My face heats as I recollect everything we did together. Once Jay was happy I’d recovered from our first time, he made sure to show me how it should be, and true to his word, he’d had me screaming—more than once.

  “It was pretty incredible, right?” Jay says when he looks over and notices my blush.

  “Yeah. Jay—”

  “I can’t put it off any longer, can I?”

  I shake my head. “It’s our last day, isn’t it?”

  “I’m sorry, Skittles. I’ve got to head back.”

  “Where’s back?”

  “Germany,” he admits.

  “WHAT!”

  “I’m based in Germany.”

  My heart sinks. I’ve no idea if carrying this on is even a possibility but I was under the impression he at least lived in this country. “Oh.”

  “That’s not it.”

  I look up at him as a ball of dread starts to grow in my stomach. The look on his face isn’t showing he’s about to share some good news.

  “I’m about to go on a six month tour of Afghanistan.”

  I drop the pastry in my hand and I vaguely hear the thud as it falls from the bed.

  “We fly out on Monday from base. I’m so sorry,” he says when he watches my first tear drop. “I didn’t want our time to be tainted by it. I was so looking forward to going, getting back into the thick of it and then…and then I met you.” My first sob erupts. “Erin,” he whispers as he grabs my hands. “I wasn’t expecting this to turn into anything. I thought we’d have a little fun and that would be it. I wasn’t expecting to…”

  “To…”

  He looks up to the ceiling and lets out a long breath. “To…fall in love with you.”

  I collapse onto his chest and cry. I cry like I haven’t in years, since that day we found out my dad had been killed. The thought of that brings on another round of sobs. Jay holds me the whole time and whispe
rs sweet things in my ear, rubbing my back.

  “I…I love you, too,” I manage to admit eventually. And for the first time since I met him, I see Jay get a little choked up. It does nothing for my fragile state to see tears in his eyes.

  “I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”

  “No. I don’t think you should have. If I knew before we left, I probably wouldn’t have come with you, and then I wouldn’t have ever experienced any of this. I wouldn’t have experienced you.”

  “Fuck. I wasn’t expecting this,” he repeats. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do next,” he admits, looking totally lost.

  “I’ll wait for you.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I’m telling you it’s what I’ll do. This has been everything to me. You are everything to me. I’ll wait.”

  I watch as Jay chews everything over. I can see all his thoughts and concerns rolling around behind his eyes, and I sit quietly and allow him the time he needs.

  “Come on, let’s get moving. We still have time to figure this all out.”

  “When are you leaving for Germany?”

  “Tonight. Johnny’s picking me up in town later this afternoon.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, trying my best to keep my emotions locked down. It won’t do him any good, knowing how affected I am by all this. I don’t want him to leave, knowing I’m so upset. I’m going to have plenty of time once he’s gone to fall apart.

  It’s just before eleven when we walk out of our fancy suite hand in hand. The journey down to reception and then out to his car is a total blur. I want to cling on to every second but they seem to speed by too fast, and before I know it I’m sat in the passenger seat waiting for Jay to start the car for the trip home.

  The car roars to life before I hear a loud clunk.

  “Fuck.”

  “What?”

  “The clutch has just gone.”

  “What do you mean it’s gone?”

  “It mean it’s fucked,” he snaps.

  “Well, can’t we just get it fixed?” I’m not stupid enough to realise it will probably take longer to find a new clutch for his car than we have, but the words are already out of my mouth.