Blow

by Karr, Kim

  I glanced at my watch and then inside a fairly large open box to see dozens and dozens of sugar packets. They were probably too heavy for her to carry. “Sure, lead the way,” I said, stacking one on top of the other and hoisting them both.

  “I can get one,” she laughed.

  I threw over my shoulder, “I got them.”

  “I really appreciate this. I’m a little OCD and can’t stand to have things lying around unnecessarily.”

  I tried not to laugh at her. “No problem, Peyton.”

  “And besides, they might need them,” she rationalized.

  I shook my head. “You never know.”

  She grabbed Elle’s red hat and put it on her head.

  I gave her a sideways look.

  “What? My hair’s a mess.”

  Soon, we were walking on the sidewalk, heading north, up the hill. We crossed the first block, then the second, then the third. We passed store after store. We passed bikers and joggers, most of whom were headed toward the bottom of the hill, not up it.

  Peyton was the chatty type. “How long have you lived in Boston?” she asked.

  “On and off my whole life,” I answered. “You?” I added, feeling like I should return the question.

  She gave me a quick glance. “We moved to Somerville when I was ten for my father’s job. He’s a Harvard professor.”

  Raising a brow, I said, “Impressive.”

  The sky had turned overcast, but every now and then the sun peeked through. She wrapped her arms around herself and I thought she was cold until she said, “Not really. He’s an ass.”

  Not knowing how to respond to that I said, “Yeah, sometimes family sucks.”

  “He fell in love with one of his students the first year we moved here and left my mother and me.”

  “Like I said, sometimes family sucks.”

  Wasn’t it the truth?

  We paused at the corner to wait for the light. I was carrying around forty pounds, so it wasn’t that the boxes were heavy, but seeing over them wasn’t easy. I had to peer around the sides, and there were more and more people on the sidewalk the farther north we went. I turned my head. “I thought you said it was right up the street.”

  She shrugged. “Sorry. I’ve never actually walked. When I drive it is, but we’re almost there, promise.”

  I didn’t complain but wondered why we just didn’t drive.

  “It’s right there,” she said, pointing across the street.

  My heart started to pound in my chest. “When did Mulligan’s Cup move from Dorchester to Beacon Hill?” I asked, taking a deep, nervous breath.

  Mulligan’s Cup was a family-owned coffee shop that, once upon a time, had been Mulligan’s Bakery. In the eighties, when coffee shops became the thing, they changed names and direction. That wasn’t what was causing alarm bells to go off in my head, though. It was the fact that the owner’s son ran with Tommy’s crowd. It was the fact that he was the one who’d waited in the car while Tommy attacked Kayla and me that night more than five years ago. And it was the fact that he was a punk I never wanted to see again.

  “I don’t think they moved. I think they expanded,” she said, interrupting my dark thoughts.

  I took a minute to calm myself down as we waited for the light to turn. Expansion, that was a good thing, and it didn’t mean Declan would be there. Either way, I went on instant alert.

  When we walked in, I quickly glanced around for a place to set down these fucking boxes. I wanted to get the hell out of there. It looked like the coffee bar was the only open space. The place was extremely crowded, and I had difficulty navigating through the tables and chairs to get to it.

  Peyton was in front of me. “Declan,” she called. “These are for you—they were delivered to the boutique by accident.”

  Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Nearly out of my mind, I considered dropping the boxes right where I stood, but that would only make a scene.

  Someone lifted the top one from my grasp. Not just someone. Declan Mulligan. He still looked like the punk he was. Even at twenty-seven, his jeans were still baggy and cinched with a black leather belt complete with small spikes. He wore a short-sleeved T-shirt, and I could see all the new ink he’d gotten since I’d last seen him not long enough ago. He had the same multiple piercings in his ears and lip, and it looked like in his nipples now, too.

  Shock registered on his face and he looked anxious. “Logan,” he gasped in a voice that spoke of way too many cigarettes.

  I might have sneered at him. I really don’t know.

  He looked down at the box in his arms.

  He should be fucking anxious. He was lucky I never went after him. He was lucky I didn’t kill him the day I ran into him a few years ago when I saw him with his old man at a funeral. He was lucky word on the street said he was no longer involved with Tommy.

  Panic and fear in his eyes, he twisted toward Peyton. “You could have just called down here and I would have sent someone to get the boxes.”

  She waved her hand in a flirtatious way. “I’ve been in and out all day and I wanted to make sure you had them in case you needed them.”

  She’d used me in a ploy to see him.

  She’d fucking used me.

  The bastard actually smiled at her. “That was nice of you.”

  I dropped the box I was holding on top of the one in his arms and then turned to Peyton. “Come on, let’s go.”

  My voice was tight and she gave me an odd look. “Go ahead.” Her tone clearly said I was an asshole.

  Great.

  She hurried to Declan’s aid but he didn’t accept her help. “I got it, Peyton. Look, it’s really busy in here—let’s talk later.”

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, willing patience. Then I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. “Peyton,” I said.

  She turned toward me with a scowl on her face.

  “I need to get back inside the boutique and get that black bag.”

  Her eyes went back to Declan and she was clearly distracted. “Right, El—”

  I cut her off. “I’m sorry, but I’m in a hurry,” I said as calmly as I could considering I felt like my skin was about to bust open with the hatred that rushed through me. I also didn’t want her to even breathe Elle’s name near Declan.

  It wasn’t until Declan was in the backroom that she finally started for the door.

  I really didn’t have time for this shit.

  Hustling, I caught up with her. “Sorry about that, but I really am in a hurry.”

  Angered, she stopped and turned to look at me. “I had the wrong idea about you. I thought you were someone nice.”

  Ouch.

  Feeling like I had to somehow explain, I said, “Declan Mulligan and I have a history. And not a good one.” A pang nudged my ribs. What if Declan told Peyton everything and she in turn, told Elle? I didn’t want Elle to know that side of me. To pity me. Or hate me. To look at me differently. However, I was pretty certain he wouldn’t tell anyone about that night. It didn’t make him look good. Deciding to cling to that argument made me feel only slightly better.

  She started walking again. “Well, whatever. I just hope you’re not an asshole to Elle, because she deserves someone nice.”

  Speeding up, I turned to walk backwards and face her. “I promise you I’m not, but I don’t think Elle would stick around anyone who was.”

  The red in her face began to fade. “I’m going to choose to believe you because my first instincts never fail me. But I have to tell you, I’m not so certain that Elle’s instincts are always spot on.”

  My own instincts started to buzz. What did she mean? There were too many people on the sidewalk and I kept bumping into them, so I turned back to walk beside her and blatantly said, “You mean Michael.”

  Her eyes dropped and she gave me a slight nod. “In the three months I’ve known Elle, you’re the first guy I’ve seen her with. Well, besides Michael, and I’m sorry, but I think he’s a creeper.”

>   My pace picked up as if every second counted now. “Tell me why you think that.”

  “He just reminds me of my father. His wife’s in rehab and I’m pretty certain he’s fucking the nanny, although Elle tells me no. And I know he wants to fuck Elle.”

  My muscles stiffened; that last part had me seeing red.

  Peyton waved her hand. “I shouldn’t have said that. Just forget I did.”

  I gave her a forced nod and lost myself in my thoughts.

  We walked the rest of the way back to the boutique in silence. I grabbed Elle’s purse and looked toward Peyton. I wanted to tell her to stay clear of Declan, but I knew she wouldn’t listen to me without an explanation and there was no way I could give her one, so instead I said, “Lock the door behind me. You shouldn’t leave it open when you’re in here alone.”

  She responded with something that sounded like “point taken,” or maybe that was just in my mind and she’d actually said goodbye.

  I waited until I drove away to pull over and look inside Elle’s purse. It was small, and the only things in there were a comb, a tube of lip gloss, and a hair tie. I dumped it upside down on the passenger seat just to be sure.

  Nothing else.

  Fuck! No garage door opener.

  That meant whoever broke into Elle’s car did so with the intention of gaining easy access into Michael’s house.

  The question was—why?

  What was in there?

  ELLE

  I knew almost every defensive maneuver in the book.

  When to duck.

  Where to weave.

  How to dodge.

  I’d studied so many different techniques over the past fifteen years, I was confident in my ability to defend myself. I also knew how to take the offense if needed. How to throw a punch—where to deliver a blow that would incapacitate a guy and let me get away. Firearms were nothing I was afraid of. I’d been taught to fire a weapon—how to stand steady and level my arms before squeezing the trigger.

  In addition, I was a fast runner. I was confident I could outrun almost anyone.

  My only deficiency? My size. And there was nothing I could do about that.

  None of that mattered, though, when it came to guarding my heart.

  It was utterly defenseless when it came to Logan McPherson.

  That worried me.

  The smile that bled across my lips as I parked my car in front of my townhouse was one I couldn’t hold back. Logan was sitting on my steps, waiting for me, and I felt my body go liquid when I opened the door.

  Something was happening between us.

  My stomach was a tangle of nerves as soon as I rounded the corner, and I swear my insides were slushing the closer I got to those ever-changing eyes.

  What was wrong with me?

  The response I received told me I wasn’t the only one feeling a little giddy. As soon as his eyes lifted, his smile quirked higher on one side, as if he was trying to charm me.

  He didn’t have to.

  He was doing something to me no man had ever done. Breaking me down. Reducing me to nothing but hormones. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad, but right now my mind wasn’t in charge. My body was. And it wasn’t leaving me options, so I had to let my feelings take their own course.

  It wasn’t like I had a choice.

  His gaze flickered over me. Hot. Intense. Mesmerizing.

  I melted a little more and I swear my toes curled in my sneakers.

  Once Logan had come back to the hotel with the news that my garage opener was not in my purse, we talked a little about what that meant. It frightened me, but at the same time I felt safe with him. I just knew he’d make certain Clementine and I wouldn’t be hurt. I could see it in his determined eyes and I could hear it in the way he spoke.

  Michael had called just before five to tell me he was home. He was anxious to see his daughter and I was anxious to talk to him. He hadn’t mentioned anything to indicate that someone might have been in the house, which must have meant nothing had been disturbed.

  When I arrived at Michael’s, he was out of sorts. I was surprised. He was unshaven, looked exhausted, and it was more than clear that he didn’t want to talk about anything to do with Lizzy.

  After I told him about last night, that I thought someone was in the house and that my garage door opener was missing, he shrugged it off to paranoia. When I told him Clementine and I spent the night in a hotel, leaving Logan completely out of the conversation, he told me how ridiculous that was.

  He had me believing it, too.

  He reminded me that his house was equipped with state-of-the-art security. And it was. He had alarms on every window and door. Call buttons scattered every ten feet or so that were wired directly to the security service. He even had a panic room.

  He was right—there was no way someone was in his house, garage door opener missing or not. It was sealed up tighter than Fort Knox.

  I’d let that conversation fall and waited until after Clementine’s bath to broach the subject of Lizzy’s ties to the Blue Hill Gang.

  “Where’d you hear that?” Michael snapped.

  I swallowed and told him Peyton had mentioned to me in passing conversation about Killian McPherson, and that I had drawn my own conclusions from there.

  It wasn’t a lie.

  It just wasn’t the whole truth.

  Michael turned to me with an icy expression on his face. “I told you to stay out of it and I meant it. You know all you need to know.”

  That was the end of our conversation.

  Frustrated, I left shortly afterward, letting Logan know I was heading home.

  “Everything okay?” Logan asked as I approached him.

  His voice reassured me. Michael might think I was being paranoid, but I knew Logan believed me. Things weren’t adding up. Something more was going on.

  His smile faded. “Elle?”

  I realized I hadn’t answered. “Everything’s fine. It’s just that Michael wouldn’t tell me anything and he assured me no one was in his house.” With a frustrated sigh, I added, “I couldn’t find anything out.”

  Logan was calm. “It’s okay. I honestly wasn’t expecting much. I’ll figure it out. I don’t need him.”

  I gave a frustrated sigh.

  Logan’s mouth was on mine so fast I wasn’t ready for the kiss and it made my knees wobble. Our tongues met. We were hungry for each other. His hands anchored my hips and mine gripped his shoulders as our kiss sizzled in the chill of the night.

  His lips—soft and smooth.

  His tongue—wet and wild.

  I kept pace with the frantic way he consumed me, or maybe he was responding to the frantic way I was consuming him. I wasn’t sure. But soon it wasn’t enough. Needing more of him, my fingers traveled up to his neck and I twisted them in the softness of his hair. Playing with it, tugging it, making him groan.

  I felt alive in his arms.

  He needed more too. With what I think might have been a growl, his mouth left mine to trail along my jaw, down my neck.

  It felt so good.

  I loved it when he did that.

  I wondered if he knew I did.

  Giving myself to him, I tossed my head back to allow him full access. His teeth were sharp as he dragged them down my throat, but the moisture of his tongue soothed away any lingering sting.

  In the faint distance, I heard my neighbor’s door open. I ignored it. But the sound of it slamming closed was impossible to ignore and I was forced to pull away. It was then that I realized I’d been so lost in Logan I’d forgotten we were still outside. In public.

  Logan had told me he wanted to make sure I was safe inside my house, but we hadn’t made further plans for the night. Feeling bold, knowing what I wanted, I extended my hand. “Come on, let’s go inside.”

  Logan kissed me again, almost as if in defiance of being made to behave in public. “That’s probably a good idea,” he mumbled against my mouth.

  I laughed into his ki
ss. “I think we have an audience.”

  The moment I spoke the words, Logan’s body stiffened and he pulled away, scanning the area left and right, front and back. “Let’s go,” he said in a serious tone, all playfulness gone.

  Moving fast, he led me to my door. I unlocked it and as soon as we were inside, he closed and locked it. Fast as sin, I was pressed up against the door and his lips were on mine again, devouring me. Our mouths were glued together in a sensual, consuming kiss and I felt all of him. From his mouth on mine, to his hips holding me in place, to his thigh pressing between mine.

  Something was bouncing in my belly and I shooed away the idea that it was butterflies. I was a grown woman, for God’s sake.

  Grown woman or not, the heated moment had me breathing hard. I broke away, pushing lightly on his shoulder to give me some space to move. “Follow me.”

  He did.

  Up the stairs, down the hallway, to my bedroom.

  Like two magnets, we were together as soon as the door creaked closed.

  My bedroom was a reflection of me, much like my boutique. Nothing too frilly. Various paintings hung on the walls that I had collected from all the favorite places I’d been and loved. They were my treasures. In addition to the paintings, throughout my home I had sculptures, pottery, and various items I’d collected in my travels as well. In this room was also the last piece of my childhood I’d brought with me—the oval braided vintage rug that had belonged to my mother. My father had wanted to throw it away after she died, but I couldn’t bear to see it discarded. I’m not sure why I kept it, but I did.

  Whereas my home was a reflection of who I was, my bedroom was even more of a reflection of my inner being. On the walls were the places that I’d searched for myself and found peace. Sharing this part of me with Logan seemed appropriate.

  Logan tugged my shirt off. I pulled his over his head. I wanted to feel his smooth skin against mine, to touch and caress it.

  Our lips crashed together again before our clothes even hit the floor. My head was spinning from the delicious taste of him alone, but the sensual feel of his hands on my bare skin made me even dizzier.

  As our teeth clashed, he moved me backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed and I tumbled onto it. He didn’t let me fall, though—he was right there to catch me. For the first time with him, my back was against a mattress and his body molded to mine exquisitely.