The Secret Place

by Tana French

  ‘Do it again soon?’ Selena says, at break-time, through her juice straw.

  For a second they’re afraid to say yes, in case it’s not the same, next time. In case that can only happen once, and they try to get it back and end up sitting in the glade getting colds up their gees and staring at each other like a pack of tossers.

  They say it anyway. Something’s started; it’s too late to stop it. Becca picks a sliver of twig out of Julia’s hair and stashes it in her blazer pocket, to keep.

  Chapter 11

  It was gone three o’clock. Conway knew where the canteen was, poked around till she found some drudge scrubbing spotless steel, told him to make us food. He tried a hairy look but Conway’s beat his. I kept an eye on him while he slapped together ham and cheese sandwiches, make sure he didn’t spit in them. Conway went to a coffee machine, hit buttons. Snagged apples out of a crate.

  We took the food outside. Conway led, to a low wall off to one side of the grounds, overlooking the playing field and the gardens below it. On the playing field little girls were running around swinging hockey sticks, PE teacher keeping up a string of motivational shouts. Trees threw down shadows that stopped them spotting us. Between the branch-stripes, the sun heated my hair.

  ‘Eat fast,’ Conway said, parking herself on the wall. ‘After this, we search their rooms for whatever book those words got cut out of.’

  Meaning she wasn’t packing me back to Cold Cases, not yet. And she wasn’t heading back to base either. A look at the noticeboard, a few chats, we’d come for. Somewhere along the line it had turned into more. Those glimpses of something peeking out at us from behind what we were being told: neither of us wanted to leave without pulling it out into the open, getting a proper look.

  Unless our girl was thick, the book wasn’t in her room. But a soft tip like this one – could be nothing, could be everything – it’s a rock and a hard place. Call in a full team, swarm the school grounds with searchers, come out with nothing or with some kid’s messing: you’re the squad joke and the gaffer’s budget-waster headache, can’t be trusted to make the judgement calls. Stick to whatever you and one tagalong can get done, miss the clue stuffed behind a classroom rad, miss the witness who could steer you home: you’re the fool who had it handed to you on a plate and threw it away, who didn’t think a dead boy was important, can’t be trusted to make the judgement calls.

  Conway was playing it tight, playing it careful. Not that she’d care, but I agreed with that. If our girl was smart, and the odds said she was, we wouldn’t find the book either way. Stuffed in a bush a mile away by now, into a city-centre bin. If she was extra smart she’d made the card weeks ago, ditched the book then, waited till it was well gone before she set things moving.

  We set out the food on the wall between us. Conway ripped the clingfilm open and went for her sandwich. Ate like it was fast fuel, no taste. Mine was better than I’d been expecting. Nice mayo and all.

  ‘You’re good,’ she said, through a mouthful. Not like it was a compliment. ‘Give them what they want. Tailor it special for each one. Cute.’

  I said, ‘Thought that was my job. Get them comfy.’

  ‘They were that, all right. Next time maybe you can give them a pedicure and a foot massage, how’s that?’

  I reminded myself: Just a few days, make your mark with the gaffer, wave bye-bye. Said, ‘I thought you were gonna come in, maybe. Push them a little.’

  Conway flashed me a stare that said, You questioning me? I thought that was my answer, but after a moment she said, out to the playing field, ‘I interviewed the shite out of them. Last time.’

  ‘Those eight?’

  ‘All the kids. Those eight. All their year. All Chris’s year. All of them who could’ve known anything. A week in, the tabloids were getting their kacks in a knot, “Cops are going easy on the little rich kids, there’s strings being pulled, that’s why there’s been no arrest” – a couple of them said right out, practically, there was a cover-up. But there was nothing like that. I went at these kids same as I’d have gone at a bunch of knackers out of the flats. Exactly the same.’

  ‘I believe you.’

  Her head came round fast, chin out. Looking for snide. I stayed steady.

  ‘Costello,’ she said, once she relaxed again, ‘Costello was only horrified. The face on him; like I was mooning the nuns. Almost every interview, he’d stop the questioning and pull me outside to give me shite about what did I think I was doing, did I want to kill my career before I even got started.’

  I kept my mouth full. No comment.

  ‘O’Kelly, our gaffer, he was as bad. Called me into his office twice, for a bollocking: who did I think these kids were, did I think I was dealing with the same scum I grew up with, why wasn’t I spending my time looking into homeless guys and mental patients, did I know how many phone calls the commissioner was getting from pissed-off daddies, he was gonna buy me a dictionary so I could look up “tact” . . .’

  I do tact. I said, mild, ‘They’re a different generation. They’re old-school.’

  ‘Fuck that. They’re Murder. They’re trying to get a killer. That’s the only thing that matters. Or that’s what I thought back then.’

  Bitter sediment, running along the bottom of her voice.

  ‘By that time I’d no hassle telling Costello to shove it. O’Kelly, even. The whole case was going to fuck, with my name on it. I’d’ve done anything. But by that time it was too late. Wherever my shot was, in there, I’d missed it.’

  I made some kind of noise, Been there. Concentrated on my sandwich.

  Some cases are like that: dirty bastards. We all get them. But get one straight out of the gate, and that’s what people see when they look at you: bad luck walking.

  Anyone got too close to Typhoid Conway, he’d get that taint all over him. People would stay away from him, too; the Murder lads would.

  Just a few days.

  ‘So,’ Conway said. Swigged her coffee, balanced it on the wall. ‘Boils down to I’ve got a file full of complaints from rich guys, I don’t have Costello to back me up any more, and best of all, a year on I still don’t have a solve. O’Kelly gets this much of an excuse’ – finger and thumb, a hair apart – ‘he’s gonna kick my arse off this case, give it to O’Gorman or one of that shower of tossers. The only reason he hasn’t done it already is he hates reassigning: says the media or the defence can spin that as the initial investigation fucked up. But they’re on at him, O’Gorman and McCann, dropping the little hints about a fresh pair of eyes.’

  That was why Houlihan. Not to protect the kids. To protect Conway.

  ‘This time I’m playing the long game. Those interviews weren’t a waste: we’ve narrowed it down. Joanne, Alison, Selena, Julia as an outside chance. It’s a start. Yeah, maybe we’d’ve got farther if I’d started pushing them. I can’t afford to chance it.’

  One more snap at Joanne, and there it would’ve been: Daddy’s phone call, O’Kelly’s excuse, both of our arse-kick out of the door.

  I felt Conway think it too. Didn’t want her thanking me. Not that she probably would have, but just in case:

  I said, ‘Rebecca’s changed, since you were here last. Yeah?’

  ‘You mean I steered you wrong.’

  ‘I mean with all of Joanne’s lot, what you told me was bang on. With Rebecca, it was out of date.’

  ‘No shit. Last time, Rebecca could hardly open her mouth. Acted like she’d be happy to curl up and die, if that’d make us leave her alone. Teachers said she was like that, just shyness, she’d outgrow it.’

  ‘She’s outgrown it now, all right.’

  ‘Yeah. She’s got better-looking – just bones and braces, last year, looked about ten; now she’s starting to come into herself. That could’ve upped her confidence.’

  I nodded at the school. ‘How about the rest of that lot? Have they changed?’

  Conway glanced at me. ‘Why? You figure whoever knows something, it’s gonna show?’
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  This whole chat, this was a test; same as the interviews, same as the search. Half of working a case together is this, table-tennising it. If that clicks, you’re golden. The best partners tossing a case around sound like two halves of the same mind. Not that I was aiming that high here – smart money said no one had ever partnered like that with Conway, even if anyone had wanted to – but the click: if that wasn’t there, I was going home.

  I said, ‘They’re kids. They’re not tough. You think they could live with that for a year, like it was nothing?’

  ‘Maybe, maybe not. Kids, if they can’t cope with something, they’ll file it away, act like it never existed. And even if they’ve changed, so what? This age, they’re changing anyway.’

  I said, ‘Have they?’

  She chewed and thought. ‘Heffernan’s gang, nah. Just more of the same old. Even bitchier, even more alike. Thick blond geebag, slutty blond geebag, nervy blond geebag, geebaggy blond geebag, end of story. And the three lapdogs, they’re even scareder of Heffernan than they were.’

  ‘We said before: someone was scared, or she wouldn’t be messing about with postcards.’

  Conway nodded. ‘Yeah. And I’m hoping she’s scareder now.’ She threw back coffee, eyes on the hockey. One of the little girls took another one down, whack to the shins, vicious enough that we heard it. ‘Holly and her gang, though. Back before, there was something about them, yeah. They were quirky or whatever, yeah. Now, though, Orla’s an idiot but she’s right: they’re weird.’

  It took me till then to put my finger on it, what was different about them, or some of it. This: Joanne and all hers were what they thought I wanted them to be. What they thought guys wanted them to be, grown-ups wanted them to be, the world wanted them to be.

  Holly’s lot were what they were. When they played thick or smart-arsed or demure, it was what they wanted to play. For their reasons, not mine.

  Danger again, shimmering down my back with the sun.

  I thought about saying it to Conway. Couldn’t work out how, without sounding like a nutter.

  ‘Selena,’ Conway said, ‘she’s the one that’s changed most. Last year, she was away with the fairies, all right – you could tell she had one of those dream-catcher things over her bed, or some unicorny shite that said “Believe in Your Dreams” – but nothing that stuck out a mile. And I put half of the spacy down to shock, specially if Chris had been her boyfriend. Now . . .’ She blew out a hiss of breath between her teeth. ‘I met her now, I’d say she was one rich daddy away from special school.’

  I said, ‘I wouldn’t.’

  That got Conway’s eyes off the hockey. ‘You think she’s putting it on?’

  ‘Not that.’ Took me a second to say it right. ‘The spacy’s real, all right. But I think there’s more underneath, and she’s using the spacy to hide it.’

  ‘Huh,’ Conway said. Thought back. ‘What Orla said about her hair, Selena’s? Last year that was down to her arse. Deadly hair, real blond, wavy, the rest would’ve killed for it. How many girls that age wear their hair that short?’

  I’m not up on teen fashion. ‘Not a lot?’

  ‘When we go back in there, keep an eye out. Unless someone’s had cancer, bet you Selena’s the only one.’

  I drank my coffee. Good stuff, would’ve been better if Conway had cared that not everyone takes it black. I said, ‘How about Julia?’

  Conway said, ‘What’d you think of her? Hard little bitch, yeah?’

  ‘Tough enough, for her age. Smart, too.’

  ‘She’s both of those, all right.’ Corner of Conway’s mouth going up, like at least part of her approved of Julia. ‘Here’s the thing, but. Last year, she was tougher. Hard as nails. Preliminary interview, half the other girls are bawling their eyes out, or trying to. Whether they knew Chris or not. Julia walks in with a face on her like she can’t believe we’re wasting her valuable time on this shit. We get to the end of the interview, I ask her does she have anything we should know, right? And she tells me – her words, and this is in front of McKenna, remember – she doesn’t give a fuck who killed Chris Harper, he was just another Colm’s moron and it’s not like there’s a shortage. McKenna goes off on some big bullshit speech about respect and compassion, and Julia yawns in her face.’

  ‘Cold,’ I said.

  ‘Ice. And I’d swear it was the real thing. This year, though: there’s something else there. Usually a kid puts on the tough at first, till she gets tough for real. Julia, but . . .’

  She shoved in the last of her sandwich. ‘Here’s the difference,’ she said, when she could talk. ‘See the way most of them looked at us? Hardly saw us. Julia was the same, last year. Me and Costello, far as she was concerned, we weren’t people; just grown-ups. Just this background noise that you have to put up with, so you can get back to stuff that matters. I remember that, that age, except I didn’t bother putting up with it.’

  I believed it. ‘I used to tune it out. Smile, nod, do my own thing.’

  ‘Yeah. But this year Julia’s watching us like we’re actual people, you and me.’ Conway finished her coffee in one long gulp. ‘I can’t work out if that’s gonna be a good thing or a bad one.’

  I said, ‘Holly?’

  ‘Holly,’ Conway said. ‘Back when you first met her, what was she like?’

  ‘Sharp. Stubborn. Plenty going on.’

  Wry flip to the corner of her mouth. ‘No change there, anyway. The big difference, you already picked up on. Last year, we had to drag every word out of her. This year, Little Miss Helpful, card in one hand, theory in the other, motive up her sleeve. Something’s going on there.’ She stuffed the clingfilm into her coffee cup. ‘What d’you think of her theory? Someone else got one of these eight to put up the card for her?’

  ‘Not a lot,’ I said. ‘You’re aiming to stay anonymous, so you get someone else in on the game? Someone who isn’t even one of your best mates?’

  ‘Nah. Your Holly’s just spreading the love. She wants us looking at the whole school, not focusing on her gang. You know what that makes me want to do?’

  ‘Focus on her gang.’

  ‘Too fucking right. Even though, say one of them knows something and Holly doesn’t want us identifying her: why bring in that card at all? Why not bin it, give your mate the tip-line number, keep it anonymous?’ Conway shook her head. Said, again, ‘Something’s going on there.’

  The tip line gets you whoever’s on duty. The card had got her me. I wondered.

  Conway said, ‘If we keep talking to Holly and her lot. She going to call Daddy?’

  The thought itched my back. Frank Mackey is hardcore. Even if he’s on your side, you need to be watching him from more angles than you’ve got eyes. He was the last thing I wanted in this mix.

  ‘Doubt it,’ I said. ‘She basically told me she doesn’t want him on board. What about McKenna?’

  ‘Nah. You joking? He’s a parent. She’s up there saying rosaries that none of the parents find out we’re here till we’re good and gone.’

  The itch went; not gone, but down. ‘She’ll be lucky,’ I said. ‘One kid phones home . . .’

  ‘Bite your tongue. We’re on McKenna’s side there. For once.’ Conway jammed the clingfilm down harder. ‘So how about Julia and Rebecca’s theory? A gang from Colm’s came in here, something went wrong.’

  I said, ‘That one could play. If the lads were planning on a bit of vandalism, maybe digging another cock and balls into the grass, they could’ve nicked the hoe out of the stables. They’re messing about, fighting or pretending to fight – guys that age, half the time there’s no difference. And someone gets carried away.’

  ‘Yeah. Which puts the card on Joanne, Gemma or Orla. They’re the ones going out with Colm’s guys.’ The boyfriend question, suddenly making sense. The sardonic slant to Conway’s eye said she’d seen the penny drop.

  I said, ‘Whatever happened to Chris, it’s been bothering one of the guys who was there. He doesn’t want to talk to
an adult, but he opens up to his girlfriend.’

  ‘Or he tells her because he thinks it’ll make him sound interesting, get him into her knickers. Or he makes the whole thing up.’

  ‘We’ve ruled out Gemma and Orla. That leaves Joanne.’

  ‘Her fella, Andrew Moore, he was matey enough with Chris. Arrogant little prick.’ Snap of anger. One of those complaints had come from Andrew’s da.

  I said, ‘Did you work out how Chris got out of Colm’s?’

  ‘Yeah. Security over there was even shittier than in this place – they didn’t have to worry about any of their little princes coming back pregnant after a night on the tiles. The fire door in the boarders’ wing was alarmed, supposedly, but one kid was an electronics whiz, worked out how to disable the alarm. Took some doing to get it out of him, but we got there in the end.’ Grim smile in Conway’s voice, remembering. ‘He got expelled.’

  ‘When’d he disable it?’

  ‘A couple of months before the murder. And the kid, Finn Carroll, he was good mates with Chris. He said Chris knew all about the door, had snuck out plenty of times, but he wouldn’t name any other names. Not a chance him and Chris were the only two, though. Julia and Rebecca could be on to something: gang of Colm’s boys on the prowl, they’re going to think of this place.’ Conway rubbed her apple to a shine on her trouser thigh. ‘If Chris is out for a bit of vandalism with the lads, though, what’s he doing with a condom?’

  I said, ‘Last year. Did you ask the girls were they sexually active?’

  ‘Course we asked. They all said no. Headmistress sitting right there, staring them out of it, what else are they gonna say?’

  ‘You think they were lying?’

  ‘What, you figure I can tell just by looking?’

  But there was a grin at the corner of her mouth. I said, ‘Better than I can, anyway.’

  ‘Like being back in school. “D’you think she’s Done It yet?” All we talked about, when I was that age.’