Egg the Halls

by Jessica Payseur

  “Too busy for family? I’m surprised you even showed up,” said Dom, moving to unload the dryer. “You staying in town?”

  “You invited me here, remember?”

  “Right,” said Dom, and shoved the freshly cleaned sheets at his brother. “Your room’s down that way and to the right. I didn’t have a chance to put the sheets on the bed yet.”

  Devin looked like he would argue, or at least say something very nasty, but then changed his mind and went to the basement bedroom instead. Dom unloaded the clean laundry into a basket, glad he and Kiko had decided to use his old furniture to add another room to the house. It was really coming in useful now, and it was a relief to be able to shove Devin out of the way rather than have him sleep on the couch.

  “I’ll get my stuff from the car,” said Devin, appearing in the doorway to the utility room. Dom grunted at him and he left. After he’d finished folding everything, Devin had apparently settled himself in enough to follow him back upstairs to the kitchen.

  “Staying the weekend?” asked Dom as he put the dishcloths away. “I figure you’d want to be back for real family Christmas.”

  “I wasn’t planning on leaving until the 26th.”

  Dom froze. That was two whole weeks Devin would be here.

  “What? Why? Don’t you want to get back to Melanie? Don’t you have work?”

  Devin scowled, glanced around.

  “He’s not here, is he?”

  “Who? Kiko?” asked Dom.

  “Yeah, your…” Devin trailed off and made a motion with his hands.

  “Boyfriend. It’s a word you can say, Dev.” He paused, but Devin waited. “Kiko’s still at his store.”

  Devin shook his head.

  “Melanie left me,” he said, words hard. “I was planning on proposing to her at Christmas, but I got laid off last month, so I did it early.”

  Dom wanted to make a retort about his brother judging him but held back. Probably Devin was hurting. Probably. He’d been with Melanie for seven years, and Dom doubted their mother was all that happy that instead of wedding bells and more grandchildren she had another disappointing son. No wonder Devin wanted to reconnect, would skip out on the Grady Family Christmas for this. He was being deployed to make up for his failures.

  “The point is,” said Devin, “Family’s there for you, even when everything falls apart. Mom, Dad, brothers, and sisters, everyone’s offered to do what they can. You’re no different to us.”

  “I’m not leaving Kiko,” said Dom, wanting to kick his brother out. He turned toward the door. “And I have to clean, so you’re going to have to entertain yourself.”

  He left the kitchen before Devin could respond.

  * * * *

  Chapter 8

  Cat stopped by later that evening with several plastic totes full of art. Kiko was both surprised and relieved when she hauled a snow-dusted tote in, hair bobbing around her flushed face, and set it down. It was getting to be dinnertime and customers were trickling out, off back home or out to eat.

  “Chad,” said Kiko, motioning to the teen. “Help Cat unload.”

  “Yeah, okay, boss,” said Chad, looking miserable. Kiko knew he was sour because Kiko hadn’t given him some amazing solution to his love life problem, but now was not the time. Nor was Kiko incredibly keen on advising him to do something that might not turn out well. Chad’s mother Evelyn could be particularly stubborn.

  “Thanks again, Kiko,” said Cat, catching her breath and pulling out her phone to check it quick. “I have another five stops to make…the Pickle, Gord’s, the Farm Breakfast farm, Joylove’s, the bakery…”

  “I’m sure you’ll get it all done in a couple hours,” said Kiko. “Would you like any help?”

  Cat shook her head and noticed Chad slouching nearby.

  “No, no, I’m sure everyone will help out. They unloaded me at the bank, too.” She paused, glanced at Chad. “They’re all marked ‘Yolks on You,’ in the back of my truck.”

  Kiko watched Chad shuffle off to get his coat.

  “Deviled egg?” he offered. They were one of the items available in his food case and Cat looked like she could use a snack. She made a face.

  “Uh, no thanks. I’m holding out to try the new pickle bacon pinwheels at the Pickle.”

  “The what?” asked Kiko, thinking he needed to go out more. Maybe Dom was right about hiring another full-time employee. Maybe he should stop thinking Dom was right about that.

  “Dill’s made this pickle bacon relish, I heard,” said Cat, referring to the exceptionally young owner of the Dill Pickle, a bar not far out of Mount Angus. “He’s trying to promote it with appetizers.”

  “Ah,” said Kiko, thinking this would be something Dom would love. “I’ll have to try it sometime.”

  Cat glanced around the store briefly, seeing where Katie was giving a special reading to Nathan and Rachel, taking in the smattering of customers in the aisles, then turned back to Kiko and leaned on the counter.

  “Have you figured out who did it yet?” she asked. Kiko shook his head.

  “I promise I’ll call you the moment I know,” he said.

  “But it’s been nearly a week,” said Cat. “Doesn’t the trail go cold?”

  “Mostly it’s talking to people,” said Kiko. He didn’t care to reveal all his and Dom’s methods, but there wasn’t much of a trail to go cold on. But Cat’s presence made him feel guilty—if this had been a murder and not an egging, would he and Dom be trying harder? He didn’t want to answer that question and disappoint himself.

  “Well, I have some leads for you.” Cat scowled. “Even though Sasha had a perfectly good dead goose in a bowl of staring fruit painting, you won’t be getting it with the rest of the art.”

  Kiko thought this was perhaps a good thing.

  “I think I heard she was going to be showing her work at Angus Arts now,” he said, and Cat scoffed.

  “For all the good that’ll do her. None of her paintings were even ruined in the egging! She defected to him because he told her what she wanted to hear, I’m sure of it. I know Ben. He was in finance for years; he knows how to promise you anything.”

  Kiko blinked, taking it all in. He wasn’t sure if Cat was suggesting Sasha was a lead or Ben was.

  “You really haven’t found anything shady out about Ben?” asked Cat a moment later.

  “No. Dom and I haven’t questioned him yet. Dom did drop by for one of his sketching courses last night—”

  “He doesn’t even have an instructor for those,” said Cat as though it was an unpardonable crime. “I can’t believe anyone takes him seriously. He probably deals drugs at those classes.”

  “He serves inferior beer,” said Kiko. “And has no problem using his daughter as a model.”

  Cat curled her lip.

  “Disgusting. He’ll do anything to get ahead. I think you’ll find he’s mixed up in the vandalism. He’s had it out for me since before he moved back here. It just took him years to think of the perfect way to hurt me. What could be worse than opening a rival art place? He knows I’ve poured my whole life into Cats N Canvas…”

  It sounded to Kiko like Cat wanted to see her brother fail, too.

  “We don’t assign guilt and then make it fit,” said Kiko, thinking how Dom had a tendency to do just that. Cat didn’t have to know. “We’re trying to find the responsible party, whether that’s Ben or someone else.”

  “Hey boss, I’m done,” said Chad, shrugging off his coat as he walked by. Cat glanced at him, then back to Kiko.

  “Please, Kiko, I’m begging you to thoroughly check him out. Ben has to be involved somehow. This didn’t even start until he opened his business, and how many decades have I been here?”

  “We’ll dig a little deeper,” said Kiko, and Cat nodded after a moment.

  “Thanks,” she said, and left Kiko feeling awkward about the entire mystery.

  * * * *

  Want to interview Ben? read Dom when he glanced at his phon
e. Relief washed over him. He’d been cleaning and tidying for hours, trying his best to avoid Devin, who had planted himself on the couch and was messing around on his phone.

  YES, he sent back. Now?

  If you’re free. Katie and Chad will cover the store and Gaby’s going to Pasta La Vista for dinner.

  Be over in ten, texted Dom, thinking he’d break the news about Devin in person. He ducked into the living room.

  “Hey, Dev, I got to pop out. You can figure out someplace to take yourself for dinner.”

  Devin looked up, face taut.

  “You shitting me, Dom?”

  Dom grinned.

  “There’s a few places in town. I’m sure one of them will have something you’ll eat.”

  Kiko was standing outside of Yolks on You when Dom pulled up. He got in and they drove the few blocks to Angus Arts, Kiko making a noise of displeasure in his throat when he saw the sign. The lights were all on in the main floor.

  “Hopefully there’s no one else there because everyone’s eating,” said Dom as they got out. “Are you doing the talking or am I?”

  “I thought we worked together?” asked Kiko in return. Dom felt himself warm in the cold. This, this was what he’d rather be doing with his day. Not tiptoeing around his judgmental brother, not scouring the house, but out with Kiko, partners in crime solving, looking out for each other. It was too bad this sort of thing turned him on so much; he doubted they’d get to have any sex tonight.

  “…I told you I’d be home when I close up,” Ben was saying as they entered, on his phone behind the counter. “Yes, yes. I have customers. You, too. Love you, bye.” He ended the call and offered a sleazy, apologetic grin. “My wife. You know how it goes.”

  “Not really,” said Dom, returning Ben’s grin. He didn’t like this guy much, and wouldn’t be surprised at all if he was behind Cat’s vandalized art hall. He and Kiko just needed the proof of it.

  Ben sized them up in return, recognition flickering over his face as he saw Dom, then a kind of superiority as he saw Kiko, and figured out their relationship. Dom had seen that look before. He braced himself.

  “Dom, right,” said Ben, almost warmly. “You were at my sketching class. I understand now why you weren’t impressed.”

  “Enrique Cooper,” said Kiko as Ben turned accusing eyes on him. “But call me Kiko. I own Yolks on You a few blocks over.”

  Ben nodded.

  “I’ve heard of you,” he said. “My sister’s putting up art in your place.”

  “Only for the Twelve Days of Mount Angus.”

  “A little unfair, don’t you think? Mount Angus already has an art store.” Ben paused, but not long enough for anyone to respond. “Looking for the perfect holiday gift? Have a stroll through my rooms. Nine different artists and growing. I’ll stamp your cards for you, too.”

  Dom wanted to interrogate the man, not be sent away. Kiko opened his mouth to say something, but Dom got there first.

  “Can you tell us about the artists as we go?” he asked. Kiko looked surprised for an instant, then his expression smoothed over and he smiled, went along with it.

  “We enjoy hearing about people in the community,” said Kiko. Ben stepped out from behind the counter and led the way.

  “And I’m sure you’re interested in finding out why artists choose Angus Arts rather than my sister’s place. I know she’s having you look into me.”

  This pissed Dom off—now it would be impossible to get any information out of Ben—but Kiko was keeping cool, so he figured he might as well. Ben led them into the room full of Owen’s taxidermy first. Some of the pieces were more interesting than he figured Owen did, obviously his personal works. Ferrets in costumes, birds in little coffins, and strange animals created from several different creatures.

  “This is Owen’s work,” said Kiko, nodding. “We know him.”

  “Pleased to hear it,” said Ben.

  “Hey, Kiko,” said Dom, pointing to a fish hanging out of a teacup, “Think I should get my brother one of these for Christmas? He’d hate it.”

  “Siblings,” said Ben, shaking his head as Dom considered. “You want to know my problem with Cat? It’s nothing, really. She won’t let go.”

  He paused, and Dom picked up the teacup art. It was more than he wanted to spend on Devin, but it was also the price for information, so he tried not to think about it.

  “There was this beautiful art piece in our family, an end table with carved legs. Cat and me—we’re from a family of artists and professors. Our parents collected. I was promised the table. But when we went to put Mom in a home towards the end, she gave it to Cat instead.”

  “I don’t see how this is a problem Cat has with you,” said Dom, but Ben only shrugged.

  “I was a complete asshole for a time,” he said. “I said some terrible things. But I got over it, and apologized. And that’s what Cat can’t accept. That I’m not holding it against her any more. She’s pissed at me for being the better person because she wanted the feud to continue. Should we go on?”

  He led them through several other rooms, one of which held Sasha’s rotten art paintings. Dom pointed out a particularly gruesome one that looked to be a pumpkin holding a bloodied axe, the lumps of a decapitated human on the ground behind it.

  “Sasha left because Cat couldn’t promise to keep her work safe,” said Ben, leading them into the next room, which appeared to be full of woodworking.

  Dom recoiled, a terrible white-and-orange face staring directly at him as he glanced to the side. He grabbed Kiko’s arm; Ben started laughing.

  “That’s from the Clowning Around series one of my woodcarvers is doing,” he said, taking it down from the wall and holding it over his face. “They’re masks, see?”

  Several more hung along the wall, white and blue, white and green, and other combinations. Dom hated them. He released Kiko, who was looking at a handmade knife block. Dom moved forward into the last room and found more familiar work.

  “This is Sam’s section,” said Ben. “He makes sculptures from scrap.”

  “I have one of his pieces in my yard,” said Kiko, glancing at Dom. Sam’s work used to be displayed at Joylove’s, and Dom had a feeling Kiko wanted to hear the story from Joy and Briana.

  * * * *

  “Cat called,” said Katie the moment he and Dom stepped into Yolks on You. She had worry on her face and Chad was hovering nearby. Something had happened. Kiko glanced over where Gabriela sat with her kids at a table, coloring books and crayons strewn around. He’d been hoping to close everything up and get everyone home.

  “And?” he asked.

  “It happened again.”

  Kiko glanced at Dom, who looked as eager as Chad. There were no other customers in the store, though, so it seemed safe enough to talk openly about it.

  “Egged again?”

  “Paint, she said from a paint gun,” said Katie. “But on the outside of the building. She was wondering if you could take a look…”

  Kiko glanced at his sister. She’d had a long day, driving in from Milwaukee and with two kids. They were clearly getting cranky at this late hour, too. He turned back to Katie.

  “Why don’t you close up,” he said. She nodded. “Chad, go home.”

  “I can have a look alone,” said Dom, but Kiko shook his head. He got left out enough when they looked into a mystery, and he wanted that to change.

  “I’ll send Gaby and the kids home,” he said. “They can take Mother, too.”

  “Er, them?” asked Dom, looking over at them and then waving awkwardly.

  “Yeah, come meet them quick.”

  Despite looking nervous, Dom did well, shaking Gaby’s hand without it being awkward and handling the kids like a pro. Kiko was reminded that when he’d first met Dom, the man had been tending to his ex’s kids more than their father had. Something tensed in his chest. He hoped Dom wasn’t planning on having his own kids—Kiko didn’t have the time.

  “I should warn you,�
� said Dom. “My brother randomly showed up today. He might be around.”

  Kiko very nearly glared at him in front of Gaby. Considering most of his relationships had been terrible flops, he wanted to impress her. But when he and Dom got into his truck, he frowned at him.

  “This is the first you tell me about your brother?”

  Dom cringed.

  “I meant to earlier…I got carried away.”

  Kiko forced himself calm.

  “Dom,” he said, wanting to avoid an argument. “Navigating a family event is a lot like solving a mystery. We need to be in on it together. Isn’t that what you want?”

  When he glanced over, Dom was looking out the window at the snow-covered fields. He’d probably had a shitty day, too, having to clean the house and then deal with his brother. Kiko doubted Dom wanted an argument now either, so he changed the subject.

  “What do you think of Ben?”

  “Don’t like him,” said Dom. “I bet he did it. Guys like him have to be better than everyone else.”

  “He and Cat certainly have family issues.”

  “Whose family doesn’t?” asked Dom, then, “Oh, right, yours.”

  “Thanks,” muttered Kiko, not wanting to admit how much the words stung.

  “Ben and Cat,” said Dom, beginning to list off names, “Me and Devin, hell, even Chad.”

  “We’re trying to figure out who’s behind the vandalizing, not compare family issues,” said Kiko before Dom could continue. “You think it’s Ben. It could be Cat, right? Remember, we were talking to Ben about the time this latest event took place.”

  “There’ll be an explanation for it,” said Dom. “Let’s just look at the paintball thing first.”

  When they pulled up, the splots of paint were already visible. Cat was standing outside in the cold without a hat on, arms crossed, looking up at it. Kiko got out and Dom followed. The side of the old church was thoroughly shot over with paintballs in several different colors. Kiko saw white, yellow, red, and green. Cat sighed, flung a hand at it.

  “This is going to take forever to clean,” she said. “I only left for a few hours!”

  “Eh, you could probably put it off,” said Dom. “It looks kind of Christmassy.”