Shattered Dreams

by Laura Landon

  “Oh, you must,” Aunt Esther said. “It’s absolutely beautiful. And the view overlooking the lake is magnificent. I can show it to you after tea. Would you like that?”

  “That would be wonderful.” Cassie smiled at Elly over the rim of her glass as she took a sip.

  Elly smiled back. Her aunts were dear, dear people. Both were in their middle fifties and as young at heart as Elly’s parents.

  Aunt Gussie was Elly’s mother’s sister and Aunt Esther was her father’s. They’d both been childhood friends from their youth and when Elly’s parents married, it gave them an excuse to remain close. The Duke and Duchess of Sheridan wouldn’t dream of hosting a function without including the two older women. When they were absent, as they were now, Aunt Gussie and Aunt Esther were the perfect fill-in chaperones.

  “Marvelous. We’ll go down to the lake then. You’ll come with us, won’t you, Elly?”

  “I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to see the expression on Cassie’s face when she sees my special project.”

  Elly reached for her cane, then slid to the edge of her chair. She stopped when Aunt Esther’s voice rose above the din.

  “Oh, Charfield. Might I impose on you to escort Elyssa while we tour the new summerhouse?”

  “Of course, Lady Blume,” Charfield answered, drowning out Elly’s protest.

  “Don’t argue,” Aunt Esther said, shushing Elly’s argument with a wave of her hand. “There’s no need for the three of us to go all the way to the lake unescorted when there are ever so many young men capable of keeping us company.”

  “But I can-“

  “You might as well cease arguing,” Charfield said, extending his arm. “After partnering your aunt for the past hour or so, I’ve discovered she is quite firm in her opinions. A trait I admire in a woman.”

  “Parneston repeatedly tells me I’m opinionated,” Aunt Esther said over her shoulder as she hooked her hand through Cassie’s arm. “But I’m not sure he means it as a compliment.”

  “What’s this I’m complimenting you on?” the Duke of Parneston asked from across the terrace.

  “Nothing, Parney,” Aunt Esther answered, leading the way to the edge of the veranda.

  The Duke smiled at that last comment, then turned to rejoin the group of young men with whom he was talking.

  Elly looked at Charfield’s extended arm. If she accepted his help, she’d be forced to battle the emotions she’d struggled all day to forget.

  If she placed her hand on his arm, it would only reinforce how wonderful it was to have his strength to rely on. Every time she accepted his help, he made her forget how abnormal she was and glimpse at what it meant to be whole, physically perfect.

  “Don’t lag,” Aunt Esther said as she and Cassie walked past them.

  Elly had no choice.

  She placed her hand atop Charfield’s arm and rose to her feet.

  “Good girl,” she heard him whisper. When she lifted her gaze, she met the most heart-stopping grin she’d ever seen. “I wondered if you’d be brave enough.”

  Elly answered his arrogance with a most unladylike snort. “It hardly takes bravery to stroll down to the lake to visit a summerhouse I had built. I’ve been there a hundred times before.”

  “I’m sure you have. But this time will be different...” He lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “...and you know it.”

  Elly was ready to argue with Charfield’s assumption when Aunt Esther gave a small gasp of discomfort and reached out to steady herself against the railing.

  Charfield and Elly turned toward her but Harrison was ahead of them and reached her first.

  “Aunt Esther! Are you hurt?” Harrison put his arm around his aunt’s waist to support her.

  “No, I’m fine, Harrison. My ankle just gave out. Help me to a chair, will you?”

  “Of course.”

  Cassie had hold of Aunt Esther’s left arm and Harrison supported her right as they helped her to a chair.

  “Are you all right?” Elly asked when she and Charfield reached them.

  “Oh, yes. How silly. It’s this annoying ankle of mine. It gives out on me at the most inopportune times. I’ll be fine in a little while. I just need to rest the confounded thing.”

  “Are you sure?” Harrison asked. “I could call for the doctor. We have a very good one in the village.”

  Aunt Esther waved away everyone’s concern. “Nonsense. I’ll be right as rain as soon as I rest a moment.”

  “Can I get you something, Lady Blume?” Cassie asked, kneeling beside her. “A glass of water? Or perhaps something stronger?”

  “No, I just need to stay off my ankle for a few moments.”

  Lady Blume winced when she tried to move her foot. “But I can’t bear to think I’ve prevented you from seeing Elly’s magnificent summerhouse. I just won’t have it. Harrison, you’ll have to take my place.”

  “No, Lady Blume,” Cassie said quickly. “I’ll see the summerhouse another time.”

  “Oh, no. I won’t let my clumsiness spoil your afternoon.”

  “I’m sure Lady Lathamton would rather wait until you are able to accompany her on a tour of the summerhouse,” Harrison said, his tone a blatant refusal.

  “Nonsense, my boy. She just told me that she’d been looking forward to seeing it. Didn’t you, dear?”

  “I can see it tomorrow, Lady Blume.”

  “I won’t hear of it, Cassandra. Harrison will accompany you in my place.”

  Aunt Esther released a sigh that indicated the discussion was at a close.

  No one moved.

  Elly look at Harrison. His hands were clenched at his sides and the muscles on either side of his clenched jaw knotted in fury. She was afraid he might explode, much like the gunfire at the start of a race.

  Next, she lowered her gaze to where Cassie still knelt beside Aunt Esther’s chair. There was a mutinous glare in her eyes as her gaze seemed riveted on a blade of grass at the toe of Harrison’s boots. Elly thought it was a miracle that Cassie hadn’t stormed off and let her retreating back be her answer to spending the next hour or so in Harrison’s presence.

  Elly finally lifted her gaze to where Charfield stood beside her. His arched eyebrows matched a slight lift to the corners of his mouth. His expression reminded her of someone who was on the verge of laughter. He obviously didn’t understand how explosive this situation was.

  “Well...uh...then,” Elly stammered. “Shall we...go?”

  For a very long moment, Cassie and Harrison remained frozen in place, Harrison glaring out onto an area of the perfectly manicured lawn, and Cassie crouched before Aunt Esther.

  “Cassie? Harrison?” Elly said a little louder, wondering which one of them would make the first move. Afraid neither of them would give in.

  “Come now, Harrison,” Aunt Esther said in the same soft voice their mother used when she’d reached the end of her patience and refused to argue further. “You have an obligation to see to your guests.”

  Elly doubted there was another word that would have convinced Harrison to escort Lady Lathamton anywhere. But duty, obligation, and responsibility had been ingrained in each of the Duke of Sheridan’s children from birth. Especially Harrison, the heir.

  With a sharp intake of breath, he stepped around Aunt Esther and extended his arm. “Please, allow me,” he said, his voice void of any softness.

  Elly prayed Cassie wouldn’t refuse his offer. Surely she knew the monumental step Harrison had just taken.

  Eventually, Cassie raised her arm and placed her fingers in Harrison’s proffered hand and rose to her feet.

  “Of course,” she said with the same lack of emotion as Harrison.

  They walked across the terrace and down the path that led to the new summerhouse.

  “I think we’d best stay as close as possible,” Charfield said with his gaze fixed on the retreating couple.

  Elly frowned. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

  Charfield laughed. “No, but watc
hing the fireworks should be interesting.”

  He tucked Elly’s hand close then started down the path to the summerhouse. As they passed Aunt Esther, Elly glanced at her aunt to make sure she was all right.

  The look of triumph on Aunt Esther’s face and the wink she and Aunt Gussie shared spoke a thousand words.

  They may not have sent the invitation that brought Cassie to their party, but they were somehow involved in the reason she decided to come.

  Chapter 10

  The gloved fingers Lady Lathamton rested on his arm sent one wave of molten heat after another through his body. Harrison wanted to reach inside his chest and throw the painful burden pressing against his heart as far as he could heave it.

  Bloody hell, but it hurt to be near her.

  He’d been so sure he’d never have to see her again. Or if he did, they’d both be old and gray and far past the age when emotions played any part in their lives. But this was too soon. The pain was too raw.

  He cast a quick glance at her from the corner of his eye. She was as beautiful as ever. Even more remarkable today in a green gown that brought out the green in her eyes, and a wide-brimmed straw bonnet that allowed dainty tendrils of her golden hair to frame her face.

  He jerked his gaze and his attention to the path ahead of them. He had to stop thinking about her. Had to stop dreaming of things that might have been, but would never be.

  Most of all, he couldn’t let her know how much her presence disturbed him. “I noticed you and Mr. Waverley dropped out of the game early. Did our company bore you?”

  He felt her fingers tighten on his arm as if she hadn’t expected him to speak. Or perhaps she wasn’t comfortable with his choice of topic.

  If Jeremy Waverley was her latest lover, as Harrison suspected, it must be uncomfortable speaking to one of your former lovers about your most recent lover.

  “No, it was your skill that intimidated us.”

  “Surely not you, Lady Lathamton. I remember a time when you were as skilled as any of us.”

  “I still am.”

  Harrison wanted to smile. She still possessed an underlying confidence he’d always admired. “Then why did you leave the game so early?”

  “Mr. Waverley saw no point in finishing when there was no chance we’d win.”

  “You quit?”

  “No. He quit. I was left with no choice but to do the same.”

  He slowed his step and looked down on her with an expression he knew she’d find condescending. “Are the two of you having a lover’s spat?”

  He knew his question was out of line. Before he had time to react, she jerked her hand from his arm and spun to face him.

  “Don’t you ever... ever speak to me that way again. You have no right.”

  Before Harrison could utter the apology he knew she deserved, she gave him her back and walked away from him.

  The summerhouse was just ahead. He knew that’s where she’d take refuge.

  He followed her at a slower pace. She’d been right to become angry. His remark had been beneath him. But it was obvious to everyone who cared to notice that Waverley intended to make her his bride.

  Every time he thought of her in someone else’s arms – in someone else’s bed - he lost control of his composure. If only she hadn’t come here. As long as she remained far away, he could try to push the pain of losing her to that dark corner of his heart where he’d locked away all his shattered dreams. It didn’t always work, but he had a better chance of succeeding than when she was close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss.

  He strode down the path after her, trying to forget how angry she could make him. Instead, he concentrated on the apology he owed her.

  He rounded the rhododendron bushes on either side of the stone path and like a vision he’d only half remembered from his last visit, the summerhouse came into view.

  He stopped to take in the magnificent site in front of him – to feast his eyes on the beautiful woman staring out onto the shimmering lake.

  Elly’s design had been remarkable even as a scratched drawing on paper. Today the scene was just as beautiful. Maybe more so with Cassie standing there.

  He approached her cautiously, then walked up the two steps and across the floor. He stopped when he reached her but she didn’t turn around to acknowledge him.

  “I owe you an apology.” He hoped she’d look at him.

  She didn’t.

  “I know I no longer have the right to an opinion as to with whom you choose to associate.”

  “No, you don’t.” The chill in her voice was frigid enough to turn his blood to ice.

  He didn’t wait for her to turn but stepped beside her and braced his hands on the railing to look out onto the shimmering lake. He didn’t notice the vibrant colors around him. All he could think about was how close he was to her. If he reached out he could pull her into his arms. If he wrapped his arms around her he could hold her close to him.

  If he tipped her chin he could lower his mouth and...

  He drew in a harsh breath. “Why did you come here? Is causing me more pain so important to you?”

  She turned her head enough for him to see the haughty expression on her face. “You think my intent was to cause you pain?”

  “What other reason could there be for you to come to a party when you knew I would be here?”

  “I told you that—”

  “I know what you told me. That was a lie. Each one of us comes to see Elly often. You’ve never shown an interest in visiting before. Why now?”

  The rosy tint on her cheeks faded slightly and for just one second he thought he saw a flash of emotion between fear and panic in her eyes. In fact, he was sure of it. “Is something wrong, Cassie? Do you need help?”

  He couldn’t miss the harsh sound of disgust she made before she spoke. “You would be the last person I would come to for help. I learned years ago how much I could rely on you to come to my aid.”

  “That was different. There was nothing I could do for you then and you know it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  The superior tone in her voice caused a small niggling of doubt to slither through him. How could she think there was something he could have done for her? Bloody hell. She’d been found in Lathamton’s bed by her father and half the guests at Lathamton’s party.

  “Why did you accept the invitation?”

  “Believe me. I would rather have ignored it.”

  Harrison watched the frown deepen on her forehead. He doubted she even realized her expression revealed so much. He tried not to care. But he couldn’t manage it. Not with her standing close beside him.

  “From your obvious reluctance to be here, something important must have made you come.”

  She turned away from him and every protective instinct he didn’t want to feel rushed through his body. “Is it your son? Is he sick?”

  “No! This has nothing to do with my son.”

  The force of her denial startled him. He turned his gaze to focus on her stiffened posture. Something was wrong. Her face was void of color and she stood with her hands hugging her middle as if she needed the support to keep from collapsing.

  “Something is wrong. Let me help you.”

  “You can’t.” She faced him with the old confidence he was used to seeing from her. “I’m just lonesome for my son. That’s all. This is the first time I’ve left him behind.”

  “Would you like to visit him tomorrow? I could have someone take you to Lathamton. Then you would be assured he was all right.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine. He’s with Nanny Graybrim.”

  He smiled. He remembered the plump, gray-haired lady with rosy cheeks and a ready smile. “I didn’t know she’d come to live at Lathamton Manor.”

  Cassie nodded. “When she found out I was going to have Andrew, she wouldn’t have it any other way. She’s been wonderful.”

  He tried not to dwell on the child Cassie’d had with Lathamton. But he couldn’t help himself
. “What’s he like?”

  “Who?”

  “Your son. Lathamton’s heir.”

  “Don’t, Harrison.” She shook her head and turned away from him.

  “I want to know. How old is he now? Three? Four?”

  “Nearing four,” she answered softly.

  “Is he dark-featured? Or light?”

  “Don’t.” Her voice sounded more choked than before.

  “Is he bright? Lathamton wasn’t a dull fellow and you are one of the most intelligent females I’ve ever met, so I imagine the boy inherited more than average intelligence. Have you hired a tutor for him?”

  “Stop,” she cried out.

  “I’m only interested. If things had been different, the boy might have been mine.”

  Harrison heard a small choked sound come from deep inside her. She quickly swiped at her cheek, but not before he saw the one lone tear that streamed down her face.

  “Cassie?” Harrison clasped her upper arms and turned her toward him. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she whispered as another tear fell from her eyes. “Everything. You’re what’s wrong, Harrison. You. Me. Everything that happened between us.”

  She struggled in his arms but he couldn’t let her go. How could she say he was what was wrong? She was the one who’d ruined everything. She was the one who’d shattered their dreams.

  Another tear rolled down her cheek, then another, and he pulled her into his arms and held her close.

  For a long time, neither of them moved. Having her in his arms again was like a dream come true. He’d imagined holding her like this more times than he cared to remember, thought he’d never have the chance to hold her again. But here she was, clinging to him as if he were a lifeline to save her from the crashing waves.

  He wasn’t satisfied with simply holding her. Before he had time to evaluate his actions and consider how foolhardy they were, he tilted her chin upward, then lowered his head and kissed her.

  The experience was earth-shattering. He’d forgotten how amazing her lips were beneath his. How full and complete she made him feel. How high she enabled him to soar when she returned his kisses.

  He opened his mouth atop hers and she followed his lead. She was as hungry as he was, as desperate. As anxious to feast on the earthy passion they’d both gone without for so long.