Purgatory Is a Place Too

by Dominique Kyle

  Luckily, Mildenhall didn’t start until six pm the next day, so we didn’t have to get up too early, or else Jo would have been a complete wreck. She was still in bed when I met up with Cody in the centre of town. I’d asked her help me on a clothes shopping trip. She came readily.

  “I want to look like a slightly desperate fourteen year old who’s giving out signals that she’s up for it, and not too picky about who’s she up for it with, either.”

  Cody didn’t even seem to question why. Maybe she thought I was going to a fancy dress party – not so much as Vicars and Tarts as School Girls and Peodos.

  Rather humiliatingly, Cody dragged me into some stores I used to shop in myself when I was fourteen and while I stood in a cubicle trying stuff on, she went out foraging and came back with pretty much what I used to wear when I was thirteen. No wonder I’d had trouble with wandering hands!

  I’d brought the dreadful earrings with me and I switched the camera one on to record as a test.

  “Some items with red, black and white as a theme to match these, would be good,” I suggested, pointing at the earrings, “as long as I don’t end up looking like road kill on a zebra crossing!”

  She stared at them fixedly. “They’re – cool?” She said uncertainly. There was a big question mark on the end.

  “I think you meant to say tacky didn’t you?” I suggested with a laugh.

  She grinned in relief, and went off on another reccie.

  When I’d had my hair cut into a short page-boy bob, Jo had complained that it made me look like a child and the customers kept asking her in kind soppy voices if I was there on work experience from school? So this was working to my advantage when I dressed the part. I changed my stance to look a bit more awkward and uncertain, turned my toes in slightly, tipped my head on one side. If I combined this with being a bit more flirty and giggly and unsure of myself I’d pass muster. I wouldn’t mind betting that most of the actual fourteen year olds would look more mature than me.

  Pete came over as Jo and I loaded the Beast up. The men weren’t driving this weekend so we’d recruited the transporter, as it made sense to go straight on to Skegness after Mildenhall. When you’re trying to hold on to the Silver, you can’t pass up on any opportunity to gain points.

  He looked a bit wistful. On the spur of the moment I said, “Why don’t you come with us? I’ve got to bring both cars so we can’t fit yours in as well, so you’d have to come as a support mechanic…”

  He hesitated. I put my arms up around his neck and hung back on him. “Come on Pete, you know you want to! It’ll be fun!” I smiled persuasively up at him. He put his arms around my waist in a reflex action. “I need someone to hold hands with on the big rides…”

  “We are so not going on any of those big rides,” Jo groaned bad temperedly as she passed.

  “See?” I appealed to him. “And you can drive the Beast for us because Jo has a terrible hangover!”

  Paul was wandering across the yard, and had been eyeing me and Pete a bit speculatively. He came to a halt and asked curiously, “Why’s she got a hangover?”

  I partially let go of Pete, but stayed in his general embrace. “Out on the razzle,” I explained with a grin. “Nightclubs again!”

  Pete and Paul exchanged amused glances. Pete glanced down at me. “I could I s’pose. I’ve got nothing much on…”

  “Hey, Jo! Pete’s coming and is going to drive the Beast for you!” I yelled the good news in her direction.

  “Thank God for that!” She exclaimed and sat down on the bench outside the barn and put her head down on her arms. “I’ve got such a bad headache!”

  Pete shook his head. “I think I’d better train you up to drive the Beast this weekend,” he suggested to me. “You really need to be independent in it. Because if I weren’t available right now I don’t think you’d be going anywhere today.”

  Jo lay down flat on the bench and moaned faintly.

  Pete grinned. “I’ve just got to get a couple of things done, and then I’ll be with you.” And he disappeared off towards the house.

  Paul and I looked across at Jo. I walked over and peered into her face. “Were you mixing your drinks last night Jo, or did someone spike one of them?”

  “I don’t know and I don’t care!” She snapped.

  I glanced at Paul. “Think I’ll go in and see what Sue’s got for headaches,” I suggested. And escaped from his vicinity before he could collar me about anything.

  I hunted Sue down in the house, explained the situation, and she went to the bathroom cabinet to raid the medicine store. As she handed me the items she also looked speculatively at me. “So what’s Pete going to announce when he gets back from this trip?” She asked.

  I frowned, puzzled. “What do you mean?” I wondered if they were imagining that we’d got back together.

  “On the last weekend you disappeared off in the Beast together he came back in and announced he’s moving out!”

  I stared at her open mouthed. “Did he?”

  She waited, as though she expected me to explain something.

  “But that’s ok with you and Paul, right?” I established.

  She smiled slightly. “We’ve never pushed him to go, because with the whole family involved in such expensive sports it made sense to pool all our resources to save unnecessary financial outlay. But I guess we imagined he’d have left to set up his own family by now.”

  She waited again.

  I said nothing.

  “So first you’ve managed to winkle our daughter out, and now you’re starting on our son.”

  I blinked. “You sound like you’re blaming me for something,” I said uncertainly.

  She turned away and started abruptly pulling all the towels from the rail, presumably to go to the wash. “No, it’s good. He needs to go.”

  I backed out. Phew. Maybe she had PMT or something…

  “Well done,” Pete said with a smile. I’d come second. It was fun being with Pete again. All his mates were coming over to see us.

  “Playing second fiddle now eh?” They were teasing him about just being here to support me. Then, “When are we going to see you two on the same track again?”

  People liked seeing the Gold and Silver competing in the same races and it must be becoming pretty obvious to all and sundry that there was something going on this year. I couldn’t tell them that it wasn’t Pete I was avoiding, it was his father.

  At Skegvegas the next day, I insisted that we did a couple of the big rides in the morning before the meet started at midday. With a wry smile he offered me his hand to hold. I knew I must be careful not to be too warm with him in case it got false hopes up, but it did feel good to have someone to be casually physical with again.

  Skeggie was a good track to test out the new adjustments Rob had helped me make on the tarmac car. It went like a rocket. I came second in the heat, first in the Final and first in the Grand National. Pete looked impressed. He’d not seen me drive on tarmac for ages.

  “Well done!” He said.

  I was pretty impressed myself with the difference Rob had made. But I didn’t want to let on.

  He made me drive the Beast home. I loved it. He grinned at me. “There’ll be no stopping you now!”

  Jo smiled too. She hated driving the big transporter so she was thrilled she’d now have some back-up available. I’d been on the insurance for over a year now just in case, but they’d never actually taken the step of inducting me into the driver’s seat.

  “So Sue says you’re intending to move out?” I finally brought the topic up.

  Jo, on the other side of him, stared at him. “Really? Are you moving in with Siân?”

  He shook his head. “I’m either looking for a bedsit of my own, or a flat share.”

  “About time!” Jo said. “What took you so long?”

  “Yeah, I know,” he agreed a bit ruefully. “I guess boys are just lazy huh?”

  Jo looked thoughtfully at him. “I think it’s
winning the Gold. You finally feel able to move on…”

  He glanced at her. “Maybe…”

  About ten minutes later he announced. “And I’m thinking of re-training for something.”

  We both looked amazedly at him.

  “Wow!” I responded.

  “For what?” Jo asked with a frown.

  “Not entirely sure yet. I’ve be researching all sorts of different options.”

  “Extending the skills you’ve got, or doing something completely new?” I queried.

  He obviously wasn’t willing to lay himself completely open yet, so he hedged a bit.

  “Don’t want to throw a spanner in the works, Pete,” Jo said. “But if you’re going to go into some sort of education, rather than some sort of work-release scheme, won’t you need to continue living at home to be able to afford it?”

  “Not if I apply for a student loan to do a degree as a mature student,” Pete suggested. “Then I’d be moving away and going back into education in one fell swoop…”

  Jo gave a good impression of a stunned mullet. “My God Pete! That’s drastic! What’s brought this on?”

  He didn’t answer.

  “Respect Pete!” I complimented with a sidelong glance. “I think you’re being really brave. You’re making a really big shake up of everything…”

  He smiled at me.

  We unpacked the Beast in the dark and then Jo said, “We’re staying here tonight Eve.”

  I looked at my watch. “It’s not that late.”

  “You’re staying here tonight Eve, Mum says,” Pete backed her up.

  “What’s going on?” I asked suspiciously.

  Jo busied herself shutting the Beast doors and Pete got into the cab to drive it away to its parking place. Neither of them answered me.

  Next morning I got up at seven to go to work and everything went normally until I walked over to Jo’s car at eight expecting us to drive in together. She smiled at me. “We just need to go down to the stables to see Mum first.”

  “We do?” I queried.

  “Come on,” she jerked her head to make me follow.

  I wandered on down after her. At the entrance to the stables I stopped short. There was a cameraman and a female sound engineer with a furry covered microphone, both pointing their equipment at me.

  “What now?” I demanded, looking around.

  Behind me, Paul and Pete were standing, grinning.

  Sue turned and smiled at me. “This is your next challenge Eve. By next Saturday, you will have learned to ride a horse and will be taking part in the Dressage to Music Competition at the Reaseheath Equestrian College in Cheshire. You will be having training every morning, and Quinn every afternoon, and professional judges will be awarding the marks at the competition – and we’ll see who executes the best performance…”

  I stared at her. Then I turned round and looked accusingly at all the rest of them. “You bloody knew about this didn’t you? All of you! All bloody weekend!”

  “So has Eve ever shown any interest in the horses?” The female interviewer asked looking around at the Satterthwaites.

  “After several months of coming up here I mentioned the horses and she said, what horses?” Reported Jo with a laugh.

  “I don’t really notice furry things,” I admitted.

  “If it’s not made from metal she’s not interested,” Pete put in.

  “Like the stable cats for instance,” Sue said.

  “What stable cats?” I frowned at her.

  “Those stable cats!” Pete and Jo chorused pointing at a ginger and white furry thing sat on a bale of hay with its paws tucked under it.

  “Oh,” I said, staring at it.

  “And that one!” Sue pointed at a stripy brown critter flitting along the edge of the shadows. She turned to Paul. “I told you I was sure she couldn’t even be aware of them! They’d come and wind between her legs and she’d just step over them as though they didn’t exist!”

  Jo and Pete were pissing themselves.

  “So how do you think you’ll do?” The interviewer directed at me.

  I rubbed at the back of my neck indecisively. “No idea,” I said.

  I resigned myself to the fact that the rest of the family weren’t going away and I was evidently intended to be the morning’s highly hilarious entertainment.

  Sue handed me a brown velvet covered hard hat which I examined carefully then put on and did up the chin strap.

  “No harness or seat belt,” Jo was calling. “Statistically you’re far safer in a car!”

  “Ta,” I said dryly.

  Sue went into a stable and led out a brown horse with black neck and tail hair. “This will be your mount for the week,” she introduced. Sue stopped in front of me and the horse stretched its neck forward and widened its nostrils, then huffed in my face and waggled its head up and down a bit.

  I stood with my hands behind my back. “Hello horse,” I said dutifully. Then huffed back.

  Jo held her nose to stop herself laughing too explosively.

  “Her name is Babbington Sentinel,” Sue informed me solemnly, as though this was quite normal. “As you can tell, she is fifty percent Arab bloodlines.”

  “How can I tell that?” I asked bewildered.

  “Because she has her make and model stamped on the back,” Jo called out. The fact that I actually took a swift glance in the direction of her hind quarters had Jo subsiding into helpless fits.

  “We just call her ‘Baby’,” Sue informed me helpfully.

  I looked disapprovingly at her. “I don’t think that vehicles should have names,” I said. “I only make an exception for the Beast because it’s not called ‘Muriel’.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Paul rubbing really hard at his eyes with his palm, which is something he does when he’s covering up the fact that he’s trying not to laugh.

  “I shall refer to her as ‘horse’,” I said stubbornly.

  We trailed out to the training paddock. Sue made me lead her, though I noticed she held the leather stuff round the horse’s head on the other side just in case.

  “I’ve never had a mode of transport huffing down my neck before,” I remarked.

  The family settled themselves comfortably on the wooden fence. “This is going to be priceless,” I heard Pete remark to the other two.

  Sue told me to gather the reins up onto the neck of the horse and then she chucked me up into the saddle. The horse’s ears flickered back at me. Sue moved around adjusting the stirrups and then asked me to lift one leg up while she tightened the girth. Then she stood back.

  “So where’s the accelerator?” I asked.

  “You sit up straight gather up the reins, squeeze your knees, give a slight kick of your heels and say ‘Walk on’,” she instructed.

  I did that and the horse immediately started walking forward.

  “Keep your hands low,” Sue instructed.

  “And the brakes?” I asked.

  “Pull back on the reins, firmly but gently, sit still, and say, ‘halt’”

  It worked.

  I started the horse up again. “Steering?” I asked.

  She told me how to turn the horse one way or the other, reins one side, press heel in the opposite. It worked. I turned her in circles.

  “Now walk her straight on,” Sue instructed.

  I did so. “Change of gear?” I asked.

  Same as walking really, gather up, kick, ‘trot on’, ‘canter’, ‘gallop’.

  I put her into trot, but I really didn’t like that, all joggly and uncomfortable, so I put her into canter, which was rather good and sort of rocky, and then I put her into gallop and that was brilliant, really smooth! I crouched on her like a skier. Now this wasn’t half bad! There was nowhere much to go so we galloped round the outer edge of the paddock in circles.

  Months afterwards when it aired, I saw Sue’s face on camera. She was looking horrified. “I didn’t mean her to try them all out at once!”

/>   “Oh shit,” Jo had said, looking worried.

  “Oh leave her, Mum,” Pete said, “the worst that can happen is that she falls off and breaks her neck!”

  Paul just watched on with an amused smile.

  Ok. I tried the steering technique. We went in figure of eights, first one way and then the other. I tried to see how tight a circle we could go in. At some point we had slowed down a bit. So I tried the sit down, pull back, brake effect. And somehow we ended up backing in a dead straight line. Hmm. How did I do that? Kick forward again. Pull back, stop.

  Sue came quickly over and grabbed the leather bits again. She looked a bit pale. “Ok Eve, good,” she said. “Now what is it I always used to see you do whenever you got out of your car when you first started driving?”

  I frowned. Dredging my memory.

  “You used to pat it,” she supplied. “So now you have to thank Baby for all the work she’s done for you, by saying ‘good girl, Baby’ and patting her.”

  “That’s silly,” I said.

  Sue looked sternly at me.

  I sighed. “Good horse,” I said. And patted her. Her ears flickered back at me.

  Sue led me over to the family holding tightly onto the horse.

  They were all sat along the fence like jackdaws, grinning at me, sort of at my own height.

  “You didn’t seem at all scared,” Jo remarked.

  “What is there to be scared of?” I asked blankly.

  “Silly me,” Jo said rather sarcastically, “Nothing of course!”

  “I’m a nervous wreck,” Sue complained. “And I’ve got a whole week of this to go!”

  Paul leant over and patted my thigh. “Don’t worry darling,” he reassured Sue, “she’s clearly a natural. Just let her go for it!”

  “It’s Baby I’m worried about, not her!” Sue exclaimed.

  “That’s right Mum, you always get your priorities right,” Pete teased.

  “Come on, Sue,” I complained. “Let go of us. You’re behaving as bad as Dad did when I got into the car and tried to drive it off down the road when I was seven. Me and Horse want to get off and do stuff!”