Ryder: A Wings of Diablo MC Novel

by Rae B. Lake

  “Fuck, it’s bad isn’t it?”

  Alex looked down and away from me.

  It was bad.

  “Don’t bullshit me, tell me what it is. What’s going on? What happened?” I could take whatever he was going to tell me. Besides, I was alive so that was already a win.

  “Ryder, you had a heart attack.”

  What the fuck?

  I laughed, that was ridiculous. “No, I didn’t, I had some cramps or some shit and passed out. I take care of myself, there is no way I had a fucking heart attack.

  Prez didn’t laugh, he wasn’t joking.

  “Well fuck, that sucks. So, the doctor said I had to change my diet and shit? No more meat? I’d rather him poke me in the eye with a fucking shitty stick.”

  “That’s not all brother.” Alex took a deep breath and continued, “When you went down, you wiped out hard. You shattered your hip, broke both your legs, and you needed skin grafts on your back.”

  “What the fuck! You’re fucking lying. That shit is impossible. I don’t even feel that bad for all that to have happened yesterday.”

  Alex shook his head, a confused look on his face. “Ry, you have been out for over a month. You were in a coma. You’ve only been coming in and out of it for the past day or so.”

  I couldn’t believe what he was saying to me, I was fucked up. I must still be sleeping or some shit because there is no way that all that shit happened and I was unaware.

  “Prez, don’t fuck around, this shit can’t be real.”

  “I’m sorry brother, it is.”

  I tried to move again, but nothing besides my upper body was doing what I wanted it to do. I couldn’t move.

  “Prez, my legs, why can’t I move them?” I heard my voice breaking, I was getting emotional. For the first time in years, I was about to fucking cry. Logically I knew what he was about to tell me but I felt like I would die if he said it out loud.

  “When you fell you caused severe nerve damage to your spinal cord, it didn’t break but it was compressed for a long time. They haven’t been able to run all the tests but they don’t think you will be able to walk again.”

  “Fuck out of here!” I slammed my head back against the too soft pillow. There was no way that he was telling me I was fucking paralyzed right now. There was no way. “You god damn liar! Get the fuck away from me.”

  “Ryder, you gotta calm down brother.”

  “I don’t have to do shit! You’re fucking lying. Don’t tell me that shit, I’m going to be fucking fine. Get away from me with all that shit!” I picked up the only thing I could reach, the pillow and threw it with all the force I had at Prez. It did nothing to stem the rage and fear building inside of me.

  “I’m so sorry.” Prez put his head down, defeated. This shit was real.

  I sat up and swung with all the might I had, but all he had to do was take a step back and he was out of my reach. There were no feeling in my legs at all. I tried to wiggle my toes, clench my thighs, but nothing I did registered with my body. I screamed in panic as the realization that I would probably never be able to walk again settled in my mind. I beat on my head, I pulled at my hair and bit down on my tongue hard enough for my mouth to fill with blood.

  “Ryder, stop the shit!” Prez stepped into my reach again and without thinking I swung with all my force and cracked him right in the face.

  “Get the fuck away from me! Fuck you, fuck that god damn club, fuck all of it. Just let me fucking die. You should’ve left me on the side of the motherfucking road.” I broke down and wailed like a little boy who just lost his momma. My whole life had been the club and riding for my brothers, now I was stuck in this bed, not even a slither of what I used to be.

  The nurses came in and tried to get me to calm down when that didn’t work the doctors came in. They tried to sedate me but I wouldn’t let anyone get close. I swung and pushed everyone away, I broke light fixtures, the bed, pulled out my IV, I was going out of my mind. I looked over to where Prez was and I could see the pain on his face but I couldn’t care less. It was in that brief moment that I wasn’t paying attention that someone poked me with something sharp and less than a minute later I was nodding off into a deep sleep.

  “Ryan, you with me?”

  Someone flashed a bright light in my eyes and my head began to pound.

  “What the fuck.” I groaned and tried to block my eyes from the harsh white light but my arms were being forced down. I looked at my wrist and there was some Velcro shit tying my arms down to the bed. I flexed hard and broke the restraints, I already couldn’t move my legs there was no way in fuck I was going to let them take my arms away from me too.

  The doctor backed up quickly.

  “What the fuck do you want?” I asked groggily. Whatever drugs they had given me were still coursing through my veins. It was the only thing keeping me from trying to find something to throw at this man.

  “Do I need to call security?”

  I turned my head and glared at him. “I’m a fucking sap. What the hell am I going to do to you? Stop being a pussy. What do you want?” I asked slamming my head back against the bed. I couldn’t do anything to him, I was fucking worthless.

  “I wanted to see how you were feeling and if you were ready to talk about the next steps in your treatment-”

  I cut him off before he could say another word. “I don’t give a hot shit about the next steps in my treatment, I want out of here, now.”

  “I’m sorry, but you are nowhere near stable enough to be on your own. You will need at least one more skin graft surgery and the pins in your hip will need to be reset. Then we need to work on physical therapy. It’s unlikely that you’ll walk again and if that’s the case you will always need some type of assistive device.”

  “Will I be able to ride?”

  “Ride? You mean a motorcycle?” The doctor asked a look of surprise on his face.

  “Yeah Doc, my fucking bike, can I ride?”

  He shook his head slowly, “No, I’m sorry, but you will never be able to ride again. Your injuries are just too severe.”

  I closed my eyes and turned my head. I didn’t want to hear anything else that he had to say. There was nothing that he was about to tell me that was going to make me see the bright side of this situation.

  “Ryan, you’re lucky to be alive. Maybe think on that for a little while?”

  I didn’t even bother to turn back to where the Doctor was standing. “I’m not trying to hear that noise, are you the one in this bed? Are you the one that just lost everything that defined you?” I waited for an answer but didn’t get one. “I didn’t think so, now fuck off and let me be.”

  The doctor walked out silently and I just laid there, thinking of nothing but the last few days before I ended up here. I wondered if the boys were ok. If things went as planned in NOLA. Who the fuck was making all the pickups. I felt so damn useless.

  Chapter 5

  “Mr Barosy, the nurse told me that you are refusing your pain medication, that you are actually refusing all of your medication.” The doctor stood at the door, far enough away that I wouldn’t be able to grab onto him or swing.

  “I don’t fucking want it. What’s so hard to fucking understand?” The sweat was pouring off my face and I held onto the damp sheets with both my hands. They wanted to put me out again to re-adjust the mangled wire in the mess they called my legs. The last thing I wanted was to be put back to sleep. I had already lost a whole month of my life, just gone, I didn’t want that again.

  “Mr Barosy-”

  “Stop with the Mr Barosy shit! My name is Ryder.” I yelled at him and closed my eyes to focus on getting through the pain.

  “Fine, Ryder. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Let us help you.”

  “I don’t want your damn help, I don’t want anything. Just do whatever you need to do to get me the fuck out of here.”

  He huffed and closed the chart he was holding in his hand. “Fine, if that’s your wish. We won’
t put you under, but if I feel that the procedure is too taxing on your heart I am going to stop and you will be here longer than needed. There is no compromise on that.”

  “Yeah, whatever. Just get this shit done.”

  After three days I was just about at the end of what my will power could take. Just changing the bandages on my newly grafted back was enough to have me calling on the gods for mercy and I’m not a praying man. The doctor wanted me to start some physical therapy for my lower half but I didn’t see the point. I watched as the man stuck a full needle in my foot and I didn’t feel a thing. I was never going to walk again, no matter what they tried to tell me, I knew that shit wasn’t going to happen.

  “Good morning Mr Barosy, are you up for some PT today?”

  “I’m ready to go home today.”

  “Oh, um, I don’t think that’s on the plan for today.” The nurse opened the chart, trying to see if the doctor had changed my orders at all. He hadn’t but I was more than done with being in this fucking hospital.

  “It’s in my fucking plans. I am leaving this hospital today, I don’t need any of you bastard’s permission either. Get whatever you need to get so I can sign and leave.”

  “Mr Barosy…”

  “Shut the fuck up! Get the goddamn paperwork!” I had never been so fucking annoyed in my life. I wanted out of here, I wanted to just be left in peace somewhere.

  The small woman ran out of the room, I suspected to find a doctor or someone and tell them I was demanding to leave.

  “Fuck this.” I looked around the room and could see that someone had brought me some clothes and left them folded in the corner. I pulled the wheelchair that they had been shuffling me around in and positioned it by the side of the bed. My legs felt like two useless logs on the bed, I had to use the pj bottoms to bend them and angle them the right way. I pulled out the sole IV they had attached to me and I dropped myself down into the chair. My legs twisted in an awkward position but I didn’t feel a thing besides the pressure. My back screamed at the contact but It wasn’t enough to stop me from doing what I was doing. I grabbed my shit and tried to put it on as quickly as I could.

  I rolled to the door just as one of the nurses was coming in. “Mr Barosy, what are you doing?” She asked in shock and tried to stand in my way.

  “Move woman,” I growled at her. I was never in the habit of hitting women but today would be a first for me. If she didn’t move, I was sure I would have no guilt about putting her head through the fucking drywall.

  She backed away immediately.

  Smart.

  I pushed the door open and rolled out right into the shins of my president. Wire was the last person I expected or wanted to see.

  “What the fuck are you doing, Ryder. Why is the doctor calling me to say you’re acting like a jackass?”

  “Fuck you, get out of my way.” I tried to roll around him but he wouldn’t move.

  “Nah, I’m not going to get out of the way, and you’re going to turn the hell around and get back in that fucking bed.”

  “Yeah? Who the fuck is going to make me? You? I dare you to fucking try. Do it, so I can rip your goddamn face off.” I stared him straight in the face. I meant every damn word of what I was saying.

  “Ryder, watch your goddamn mouth. I could have your fucking kutte for talking to me like that. Don’t forget your place.”

  “What the fuck are you talking about, I don’t have a kutte remember? It’s melted on the fucking asphalt outside. And don’t talk to me about my place, I know my place. I know because I’m the motherfucker who wrote the fucking rules about everyone’s place in the Wings of Diablo MC crew. You can’t ride, you can’t have a seat. I’m a fucking spectator in the condition I’m in. Nothing more than a glorified prospect.”

  He stared at me, but there was nothing he could say. I was right. I was nobody to the club besides someone who used to be somebody.

  “Now, I want the fuck out of here. If I am going to die I sure as shit don’t want to die here.”

  “Stop talking.” Wire looked up, his expression focused and pensive before he looked back down to me. “Fine you want out, I’ll get you out of here but when we get home you will do whatever you need to do to get healthy, even if you can’t ride anymore, you will always be a brother.”

  “Yeah, sure.” I sat back in the chair and waited.

  Wire pushed me out of my room and past the reception area to where my doctor was standing.

  “Mr Barosy, I really wish you would reconsider. I know it's tough but-”

  “You know shit! You know what you learned from your books and your medicine. You are still walking and feeling, you don’t know shit about what I’m going through.” I had so much pent up rage but there was nothing that I could do to release it. I wanted to lift the man up and put him through a wall but I would have to stand to do that.

  Something I couldn’t do.

  “You’re right, and I hope I never really know what you’re going through.” The doctor pulled a few sheets of paper out of his folder and handed it over to me. “This is an AMA form, basically it says that you are leaving the hospital against medical advice.”

  “Don’t worry doc, we have a couple of medical personnel on our team as well. We will get him the best care he can get outside of the hospital.” Wire said as I hurriedly signed the paperwork.

  “The fuck you will, you bastards are going to leave me the hell alone,” I said as I glared at Wire. He looked at me but didn’t say a word. He pushed me through the hospital and out into the fresh air. I knew that I was out in the sun but nothing was cutting through the pain clouding my mind.

  Chapter 6

  Cherry’s POV

  “When am I going to see that fine ass back on stage?” Michael, a regular at the club whispered in my ear as I tried to walk past him.

  “Oh honey, I’m on vacation, but I have a few new girls that I am sure you’ll like.” I smiled up at him and tried to move on.

  “Fuck all that, how about you just suck my cock and I’ll be on my way.” I blinked a few times and tried to keep the smile on my face. I was used to it. I was used to being talked to like I was nothing more than a hole for them to stick their dicks into but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t starting to wear me down.

  “I don’t think so, and if you keep up with this attitude, I doubt any of my girls will be sucking on anything you give them.”

  “Fuck you, cunt. Get on your knees.”

  Quicker than I thought possible, Michael snapped his hand to the back of my neck. Trying his hardest to force my head down to his crotch.

  “Get the hell off of me,” I yelled trying to pull his hand off of me. I dug my nails into his hand but that did nothing other than cause him to squeeze the back of my neck harder. “You know if you fuck with me you fuck with the entire Wings crew. You don’t want this Michael.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so. You’re nothing but a club whore, I doubt they would kick up a whole lot of fuss for you.” He yanked my head back hard and tried to kiss me. I used all the strength I had to try and pull my face away from his. I didn’t want him and I sure as shit didn’t want this.

  “Looks like there is a fucking problem here.” Maven said, my black and red-haired savior.

  Michael let go of me and turned toward Maven, “No way, Cherry was just playing hard to get tonight.”

  “Fuck that, I told him to fuck off. He doesn’t like the word no.” I clarified. I may not be a killer but I would shit bricks before I stood by and played the scared victim.

  “Oh, well ain’t that a bitch? I see you got a hearing problem.” Maven walked up to him swiftly and grabbed him hard by the ear. “Did this woman tell you no?”

  “What the fuck Maven, it’s just Cherry, she fucks everyone. I just wanted my dick sucked.” He whined as he cocked his head in an awkward position to take the pressure off.

  Maven twisted his ear further in her hand, “Did you fucking hear her say no?” Maven yelled at the man waiti
ng for an answer.

  “Ahh, fuck yes, yes! I heard her say no.” Michael screamed out in pain.

  “Good,” Maven flicked her hand to her side and quickly pulled out a long thin knife, and in the same motion sliced the entire lower lobe of Michael’s ear off. “Next time listen to her.” He gasped, in complete shock and looked at his ear in her hand. She dropped it on the floor in front of him and it was only when Maven walked away, he started to scream and cry. I followed behind her looking over my shoulder only once to see him scramble down to the floor to pick up his ear and press it to his bleeding head.

  I couldn’t help but laugh. He knew better than to fuck with me, even if the fight didn’t come from me, I knew my family would always have my back. I might just be a club bunny but I’m probably more protected than any queen.

  “Thanks, Maven. I don’t know what the fuck has gotten into him tonight.”

  She shrugged and not missing a beat in her stride, “Don’t worry about it, gave me a chance to test out my new blade. You need to be carrying too. If I hadn’t come to look for you, that shit could have ended really badly.” She looked at me over her shoulder for a second.

  “You know I don’t like that shit.”

  “Yeah, well I don’t think you are going to like to be dead either. Carry a weapon, Cherry.”

  Of all the ol’ ladies, Maven was the most badass. She grew up in the lifestyle and knew what it was like. She knew about the killing, the beatings and all the grimy shit the boys had to do to make sure their family was safe. I knew what needed to be done, I was just never able to do it on my own.

  “What did you need anyway?” I asked when we made it up to the main office of the club.

  “Wire wants you.” She indicated towards the closed door in front of us.

  “What? Wire?” The boys came by from time to time to check on me or even just to have a good time with the girls but it was rare that Wire would be with them. He had Keeley and his baby girl Lily at home, that’s where he usually was.