by Minot, Diana
When she reached the wine aisle, Whitney started searching for labels she liked. She chose three bottles of wine: a Cabernet Franc with a frog in a top hat on the label, a Pinot noir with a duck in a party hat, and a Cabernet Sauvignon with beautifully illustrated peacock feathers. Choosing wine bottles made her think of Alex, and she felt a little sad that they had not had a chance to discuss wine yet. In fact, they still had not gone to dinner since the weekend that she offered him a rain check on a dinner outing. He had wanted to get together last Saturday, but she had begged off, continuing her ruse of being sick. She missed Alex and his witty banter, but it was nearly impossible to be around Alex and not think of Ben, since they were roommates. Whitney sighed as she headed for the checkout lane and tried to push both boys from her mind.
Thanksgiving day, Whitney woke up gloriously late. In a moment of inspiration, she turned on all the lights in the apartment and kept the blinds closed, then cranked the heat up past 80 degrees. She was going to ignore the gray cold outside and pretend she was back in Texas. She also determined that she would not read a single word from a legal casebook today. Still in her PJs, she went to the kitchen and whipped up homemade pancakes for breakfast. After she cleaned up the kitchen, she called her parents and texted Rachel with Happy Thanksgiving wishes, and then took a long shower using some expensive vanilla bean body wash that Rachel had given her for her last birthday. She only used it occasionally so that it would last longer, but she decided Thanksgiving was a good time to pamper herself. When she got out of the shower, she felt like a new person. She checked her phone, and responded to Happy Thanksgiving texts from both Elise and Jamie. There was nothing from Ben. Whitney did not expect anything from him, but she still felt disappointed. She told herself not to let it ruin her self-indulgent day. Even though she was not planning on setting foot outside of her apartment, she used her hair dryer to blow dry her hair into gentle waves. She even put on makeup, which she had not bothered to do in over a week. She got dressed in her favorite pair of skinny jeans and a fitted black v-neck tee, and then completed the look by adding cubic zirconium studs in her ears. Whitney sighed and admired her reflection in the mirror. Maybe someday she would have real diamonds and real designer jeans, but, for now, she was doing pretty well rocking the knock-off look.
She turned on her favorite Pandora jazz station, and then went to the kitchen to open a bottle of wine. After debating for a few moments, she decided on the Pinot noir with the duck on the label. She poured herself a glass and then started gathering ingredients for the new Mediterranean recipe she wanted to try tonight. It had been so long since she had taken an evening to cook, and she soon lost herself in the familiar joy of slicing and dicing fresh produce.
Forty-five minutes later, Whitney was almost done preparing the food. As she took the last few sips from her second glass of wine, her doorbell rang. Whitney paused mid-sip and frowned. Everyone she knew had gone out of town for Thanksgiving. Besides, she had not given her doorman instructions to send anyone up. Feeling a bit uneasy, Whitney tip-toed to the door and looked through the peephole. It was Alex.
Whitney exhaled, relieved but exasperated, and unlatched the deadbolt. The doorman probably assumed Alex was her boyfriend, since he frequently walked her home. “Alex, what are you doing here?” He held a brown paper bag in his hands.
“Whitney! Goddamn you look good. Something tells me you have not actually had the flu for the past week.”
Shit. He had caught her in a lie. “Maybe it wasn’t quite as bad as I made it out to be?” Whitney offered. Alex narrowed his eyes at her.
“I guess you won’t be needing this, then,” Alex said, holding up the paper bag.
“What is it?”
“I made you homemade chicken soup.” Alex handed her the bag, which had a large thermos inside.
“Wow, thank you. But I thought you were going home for Thanksgiving.”
“I was. But my flight was supposed to be first thing this morning. I was trying to go cheap and it was half the price of all the other flights.”
Whitney was still confused. “What happened? Did you miss the flight?”
“Whitney, have you looked outside today?”
Whitney did not answer. She just walked over to one of the living room windows and peeked through the blinds. She was looking at a mass of swirling white. “Whoa.”
“Yup. I guess you haven’t looked at the weather reports recently. They’re saying it’s going to set a record for November snowfall in Chicago. I was hoping my flight was early enough that I would get out before it started, but that didn’t happen.”
“How did you get here?”
“Train. The good old Red Line is still up and at it. Now, do you want to tell me why you’ve really been skipping class? Although I think I have a pretty good guess.” Alex crossed his arms.
“It’s not just Ben,” Whitney protested, knowing what Alex was thinking.
Alex raised an eyebrow and waited.
“Fine. I hate this. I wish I had never come to law school. I had no idea everyone else was going to be so much smarter and wealthier and better-looking than me. When Ben started paying attention to me, I was happier. I thought maybe being with him would finally give me an ‘in’ with this different crowd. But that petered out before it even started. I have to accept that I don’t belong here. And the worst part is, I’m trapped. I’ve already added so much to my student loan debt in just one semester. If I quit law school, I have no job and I have to start paying on my loans again right away. I’m screwed.” Whitney spun on her heel and marched back into the kitchen. She put the chicken soup thermos in the refrigerator, slamming the door a little too hard. It was nice of Alex to come over so she would not be alone on Thanksgiving Day, but she had been doing just fine on her own. If he was just going to dredge up all her negative feelings about law school and Ben, she did not want to hear it.
Alex followed her. “Whitney, get over yourself!”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Alex said. “Look at you. Elise and Jamie are amazing friends who adore you, and you’re sitting here pretending to be sick so that you can avoid them. You have the chance to go to one of the nation’s best law schools, and you whine because people have more money than you and you’re in a lot of debt. Well, guess what? A lot of people have a lot of debt for reasons a lot less exciting than a law degree. Like, I don’t know, taking care of elderly parents that have no retirement savings. Or cancer treatments for their kids. Life ain’t all bad for you, Whit.”
Whitney just stared at Alex. What he said was true, but it was a little harsh. “Of course other people have it worse than me in life. You can always find someone worse off. That doesn’t mean I’m not struggling. It doesn’t mean what I feel isn’t valid.”
Alex’s voice softened. “I know, but I wish you would see how amazing you are. And, by the way, everyone at Northwestern does not have as much money as you think they do. Ben, for example.”
Whitney perked up at the mention of Ben. “What do you mean?”
“I just know that his family has a lot going on right now, and finances are tight. Well, relatively speaking. It’s not that they are going to get thrown out on the street or anything. But give the guy a break. He’s stressed out, too.”
Whitney did not say anything. She would love to give Ben a break. She would love to be there for him during a difficult time, if that was what he needed. But he did not seem interested in talking to her anymore. Whitney frowned. Maybe that would change with finals coming up, she thought bitterly. He would probably need more study notes.
“I’m not saying it justifies the way he treated you. I’m just saying that things aren’t always what they seem. You worked hard to get here. Don’t hang back and be timid because you think you’re only here by sheer luck. Own it.”
Whitney sighed. “Okay, fine,” she said, although she was not sure if she could fully embrace Alex’s philosophy on this. “Owning it is a lot more difficult than it
seems, though.”
“I know. Just don’t give up.”
Alex gave her a hug and then changed to a jovial tone. “Now, what are you cooking? It smells amazing in here. I’m pretty sure whatever it is beats the heck out of my chicken soup!”
Whitney brightened. “It’s a Mediterranean dish I’m trying. Lamb and pine nut couscous! And a Greek salad to start. Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“Well, I do have a rain check for a dinner date with Whitney Morris. This seems like a good time to cash it.”
“Excellent! Can I interest you in a glass of wine?”
“Yes, please! What kind is it?”
“Um, I don’t know. Pinot noir, I think? I bought it because the label had a cute duck with a party hat on it.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“Nope. I warned you the day we met about my wine selection method.”
Alex shook his head in amazement. “Alright. I guess a glass of party duck Pinot noir it is, then.”
Whitney gave him a beaming smile and poured him a glass, then turned back to her cooking. Alex made great company, and she was glad he had come over. Even though she had been enjoying her day of solo luxury, it was nice to have another person to help celebrate Thanksgiving. They finished the first bottle of wine just as Whitney finished setting the table, and she went to grab another one.
“Do you want peacock feathers or a frog in a top hat?” Whitney asked, holding up the two bottles and grinning.
Alex laughed. “I’ll go with peacock feathers.”
Whitney poured them each a glass of wine, and they sat down to eat their nontraditional Thanksgiving meal. She was happy with the way the dish had turned out, and reveled in the simple joy of eating something other than cereal for dinner. With a full stomach and nice wine buzz, Whitney was feeling better than she had in a long time.
As she started gathering dishes off the table and taking them to the sink, Alex peeked out the window.
“I should get going,” he said, his face worried. “It doesn’t look like it’s slowing down out there.”
Whitney joined him at the window. The sky had turned dark, but the swirling snow had not slowed down.
“Why don’t you just stay here tonight? My couch is super comfortable. It doesn’t make sense for you to trudge home through all of this. Plus, I’m planning to make stovetop hot chocolate. It’s so good it will seriously change your life.”
Alex hesitated a moment, looking out at the angry snow storm. “Okay. If you really don’t mind. This does not look like a good time to be outside.”
“Of course I don’t mind! Here, go, sit!” Whitney shooed Alex toward the couch and handed him the remote. “Find something on Netflix to watch while I clean up the kitchen.”
“Let me help you,” Alex said, setting the remote down and starting to stand up.
Whitney waved him away. “Just let me do it. I know where everything goes, so it will be faster.” Whitney went back to the kitchen and finished cleaning up, then made stovetop hot chocolate as she had promised. When she walked back into the living room with two steaming mugs, Alex was playing It’s a Wonderful Life on Netflix.
“Ugh, I hate this movie,” Whitney said.
“Seriously? What is wrong with you? Everyone loves this movie!”
“I don’t. I think I’ve seen it too many times. I start to despise movies I’ve seen too much.”
Alex shook his head at her and did not make a move to change the movie. “Well, I’m forcing you to watch it again. It makes for good background noise anyways. Cheers.”
Whitney and Alex clinked their mugs. The apartment was still warm since Whitney had not turned the heat down. Her landlord paid utilities, so she did not have to worry about the heating bill. She felt a pang of guilt for keeping it so warm, but she usually was prudent about keeping the temperature reasonable. It was nice to have a toasty apartment just this once.
Alex and Whitney slowly sipped their hot chocolate and alternated between talking and watching the movie. Hanging out with Alex was easy and comfortable. If only Ben had continued to be interested in her, the three of them could have hung out together all the time. Whitney sighed and tried to change the subject in her mind. Every thought train always seemed to somehow derail back to Ben.
After they finished their hot chocolate, Whitney took the mugs to the kitchen to rinse them off. She wiped down the counter and started the dishwasher. When she returned to the living room, Alex was passed out on the couch, snoring. Whitney watched his face for a long time by the glow of the television screen. It had been sweet of him to come over and check on her. She should try to be more thankful for friends like him, and Elise and Jamie. It was Thanksgiving, after all. A good day to remember to focus on the good.
Whitney sighed. Easier said than done, but she would do her best. She tiptoed to her bedroom and got a blanket for Alex. He did not stir as she laid it over him. Whitney took one last glance out the window at the angry storm, then tiptoed back to her bedroom and fell asleep.
Chapter Sixteen
The week after Thanksgiving was the last week of class before finals. Whitney went back to class, and Elise and Jamie were thrilled that she was feeling better. Alex did not give away her secret that she had not been sick.
Professor Neals was worse than ever this week, and Whitney, who still had not spoken in his class, lived in constant fear of being called on. The last class with Professor Neals came and went, however, and Whitney somehow managed to escape his fury. She was not sure what she had done to be so lucky, but she was not going to argue with the universe when it threw her a bone. Elise told Whitney that Ben had been called on last week and it had been brutal. It almost seemed like he had not even read the case, and Professor Neals gave him a severe verbal beating. Whitney was worried about Ben, but did not know how to help him.
Whitney studied for finals with Elise and Jamie. She constantly checked her phone just in case Ben miraculously decided he wanted to study with her, but he never contacted her. The tension in the air around the law school was palpable. Each student was talking four finals. The grades from these finals, along with the grades from the spring semester finals, would be the largest single factor law firms used to make hiring decisions after interviewing students next summer. Those who had good enough grades to make the cut would be offered an internship, which all but guaranteed a job after graduation. Those who did not secure an internship would face a nearly impossible uphill battle if they wanted to work for a law firm after graduation. With starting salaries for firm jobs hovering around $160,000, there was a lot at stake. Even students who wanted to take government or public interest jobs worried about grades. These jobs paid far less than firm jobs, but the competition for them was fierce nonetheless.
Whitney practically lived at the law school during this time. She, Elise, and Jamie spent their days in a library study room. It was like a war room, with papers, coffee, and snacks scattered across the table, and flowcharts drawn all over the whiteboard on the wall. One day, when the girls ran out of coffee, Whitney ventured over to the school’s café to get refills. She ran into Lincoln, who was wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt and jeans instead of his trademark suit. She almost did not recognize him, and he seemed even more stressed out than usual. Whitney tried to act upbeat for his sake, but he barely acknowledged her before sulking away with an extra large cup of coffee.
The day of their first final, Whitney arrived at school at 7 a.m.—two hours before the final was scheduled to begin. She made her way to the library and went to her old favorite study table, overlooking Lake Michigan. She had treated herself to a Venti Starbucks coffee and an oatmeal cup on the way in to school, and she slowly ate her oatmeal and sipped her coffee as she looked out over the lake, which was now mottled with ice and snow. Since Thanksgiving, Whitney had done a pretty good job of keeping Ben off her mind, but it was hard to sit in this spot and not think of him. She wondered how his studying was going. She wondered how his fa
mily was. And she wondered if they would ever even hang out as friends again. She missed him. Whitney took a deep breath and forced herself to turn to her notes. In two weeks, finals would be over, and then she could spend all of winter break daydreaming about Ben. Right now, it was time to focus.
And focus she did. As she took her seat in the classroom and warmed her laptop up for Professor Neals’ final, she could literally feel her heart pounding. Everyone in the room wore a grim look. Even Alex looked tense, a change from his normal disdain for those who took law school too seriously. As the text proctor said the words, “You may begin,” Whitney took a deep breath and started typing. Three hours later, the first final was done. Whitney had done everything she could, and it was out of her hands now.
A feeling of relief slowly started seeping into the atmosphere of the law school as the finals period continued. It increased after the second final, and even more after the third final. As soon as the proctor called time at the fourth and last final exam, the mood turned jubilant. Even Lincoln was uncharacteristically ecstatic. He gave Whitney a big bear hug and then fist pumped into the air.
“We did it!” he exclaimed.
Whitney could not help but giggle. It was nice to see Lincoln relax a little bit. Elise and Jamie were not far behind Lincoln in hugging Whitney, and Alex gave her a high five.
“Way to go, Kid!” he said, and Whitney rolled her eyes at him for calling her “kid,” but then embraced him in a big hug. She could hardly believe they had all made it through the first semester of law school.
“Where are we celebrating, guys?” Lincoln asked. He looked like he was going to explode with joy.
