Rewriting Destiny

by Meredith Taylor

  As Kyle walked out of the common room and past the labs on the west wing of the Academy, he passed an office where he heard voices whispering. Kyle stopped dead in his tracks. There was something conspiratorial about the whispering, and Kyle could hear words like “the match,” and “force him to quit.” Kyle walked on his tiptoes, moving closer to the office door, and began to recognize the voices. The first voice belonged to one of the other young engineers at the Academy, Wendell, a scrawny Master’s student who worked on sport technology. The other voice made Kyle’s eye twitch: it was the voice of the rugby player Kyle had seen at the Academy before, Quinton.

  Quinton whispered to Wendell, “It needs to be ready by tomorrow! The championship final match is my last chance to get Marshall kicked off the team. If we can’t get him to have a bad day tomorrow, then I won’t be able to be captain before my last semester at Ridgemont. You said you would have it all ready in time.”

  Wendell responded in an impatient tone: “Quality takes time, Quinton. Besides, you’re not paying me enough for the type of technology I’m giving you. I need to make sure that you get your results but that no one gets hurt. We’re just trying to get Marshall to underperform tomorrow, but if the tech isn’t safe, he could really get hurt. Do you realize the type of risk I’m taking for you? If anyone finds my tech on Marshall or on that rugby field, I’ll probably be expelled. I think a little bit of gratitude is in order.”

  “All of the gratitude you need is in the checks you’ve been cashing. Don’t play around with me. I tried to get Marshall off the team myself, without any of your gadgets, but he manages to worm his way back no matter what I do. That fall, when I dropped him at the pep rally, should’ve been enough for a decent shoulder or knee injury. But nothing! And then I thought for sure that he would be off the team when I got him to punch me on the bus. But perfect Marshall de Villiers just keeps rising from the ashes. We have to make it count this time. If you don’t have everything ready in time for the game tomorrow, I’ll have to let your professors know about the types of gizmos you’re cooking up here.”

  Kyle was so shocked that he sighed audibly, and felt a rush of adrenaline shoot through his body. The two guys in the office became dead quiet. Had they heard Kyle outside of the door? Kyle decided to stay absolutely still, stepping backwards without making a sound, and letting himself into the office next door. Quinton burst out of the room just a second after Kyle disappeared into the other office.

  “No one’s here,” Quinton said, “but we’d better be safe and not have any more of these meetings. Just deliver the goods. Today! Even if it’s not up to your precious little safety standards. I need to make tomorrow’s match count. I’ll call you later, Wendell.”

  Quinton stormed out of the room in a huff, and when Kyle was sure that he was far enough away, he slowly crept out of the office towards the front entrance of the Academy. Suddenly it all made sense. That was how Paul was able to predict Marshall’s injury. Wendell and Quinton had been planning it for a long time. That was why Quinton was hanging around the Academy. Kyle had to let Marshall know what he was in for. This time, Kyle had proof that Marshall was in danger. This time, Marshall would have to listen to him.

  Kyle walked out of the Academy and immediately sent a text to Marshall: Meet me at the Academy rooftop this evening. I have something really important to talk to you about.

  He put his phone back into his pocket and felt a sense of vindication. At last, he could really keep Marshall safe, and something good would come of all of the struggles he had faced over the past weeks.

  Chapter 24

  Kyle waited on the rooftop of the Academy afternoon sun hung over the Ridgemont Valley. The sight of it was magnificent; the rays shot through the mountains and Kyle could vaguely see the outline of what he knew was the bend leading to the nearby beaches. The Ridgemont University buildings cast their long shadows over the beautiful scene. Donovan Square was not far away, and Kyle could see students strolling through the park, on their way home from a long day of classes. At the far side of the park, Kyle could see the billboard advertising the finals of the intervarsity championship rugby match, which was now only a day away. Marshall’s smiling face seemed to be something so alien to Kyle now. It felt like all they had done over the past few weeks was fight and run away from each other. But through it all, Kyle knew that Marshall was someone he cared for deeply. Those feelings had only gotten stronger. Even when Kyle had lost the thing he felt was most important, Paul, he felt comforted even just by the thought of Marshall. Something had changed in him, and Kyle knew that he would never be the same again. Marshall had made Kyle realize that he didn’t need to control everyone, that if he let go of his grip, he could allow himself to fall for someone. Now, it seemed that Marshall was walking into danger. And Kyle finally knew what that danger was. Kyle had to warn him and make sure that Marshall was safe. No matter what.

  But Marshall was late. Kyle checked his watch again, starting to feel anxious that the silence Marshall had greeted him with meant that Marshall no longer wanted anything to do with him. What had changed that night they kissed in Donovan Square? What had caused Marshall to drift so far away so quickly? Kyle turned around to look at the fire escape leading up to the rooftop, and was taken aback by what he saw. Marshall stood there, in his purple and white practice gear. He had gotten onto the roof without a sound. The expression on Marshall’s face was unsettling. He didn’t seem happy to see Kyle. Instead, there was a look of determination on his face. As they stood at opposite ends of the rooftop, neither Kyle nor Marshall said a word for a few long seconds.

  Finally, Kyle gathered his nerve: “I sent you so many messages. Tried to call. Did I do something wrong? Are you okay?”

  Marshall took a few steps closer, dropping his gym bag next to where he stood. “It’s been a difficult time. My dad had a health scare. That’s why I had to rush away so quickly last time I saw you. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I just had a lot I needed to do.”

  “Oh no! Is he okay? Of course, that makes sense. Of course you needed to be with your father. What happened?” Kyle stepped even closer to Marshall, seeing the grass and mud stains on his white shorts, and the way that sweat glistened on his forehead.

  “He’s fine now. It was a heart thing. The doctor has him on new medication and he seems to be doing really well. He’ll even be able to come to the match tomorrow.” Marshall’s eyes flashed with guilt as he said the last sentence, and Kyle looked away with a feeling of disappointment.

  “So that means you’ve decided to play in the match? The practice gear was kind of a giveaway I guess.” Kyle felt the words escape his lips with a tinge of anger. Even though Kyle had told himself that he would accept any decision Marshall made, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. Marshall had told Kyle that he would listen to everything Kyle had to tell him about Paul’s prediction before he made a decision. Kyle clenched his fist and stood searching Marshall’s eyes, the few feet separating them suddenly feeling like a million miles.

  “I’m doing it for my dad, Kyle. I’m doing it to make him proud. You were the one who told me before that it was the logical choice to stick with rugby. I’m tired of fighting it. This is what I’ve spent my whole life doing. It’s what everyone wants for me. And up until recently, it’s what I thought I wanted for myself. Why not just let it be, Kyle?”

  Kyle’s bitterness became even more evident in his voice: “Well, first of all, because you want something else now. You know you do. You want the chance to explore your music. You want the chance to see where your songwriting can take you. That’s what you told me. That’s what I saw in you the other night at JJ’s. You don’t just want music to be your hobby, something you struggle to fit in between rugby training. When I saw you singing that song the other night… That’s who you are, Marshall. It’s a big part of who you are. And you deserve the chance to give it as much energy as you can. I know that you love rugby, but singing is more than that to you. You were taken away to
another place on that stage, and you took me and everyone in the room with you. Do you really feel the same way when you’re playing rugby?”

  Marshall’s eyes went to the floor. “Not everything’s about the way I feel, Kyle. People are relying on me. People have invested so much in me already. I can’t just go after a silly dream.”

  “You know it’s not a silly dream,” Kyle shot back, but the tiredness in his voice betrayed his rising frustration.

  Marshall lifted his head to look Kyle dead in the eye. “I’ve made my decision, Kyle. You told me you’d let me make my own decisions. You were supposed to be the person who let me do that. I wanted so much for you to support me, to trust me.”

  “I need you to trust me too, Marshall. And I’m not doing this to hurt you. I’m trying to protect you. That’s what I came here to tell you. Today, in the Academy, I overheard Quinton and one of the master’s students at the Academy talking about how they would sabotage you tomorrow. They said that they were developing all kinds of tech to make you underperform somehow. They’re going to do something to you tomorrow. That’s what Paul – my computer software – that’s what his prediction was about. He saw Quinton scheming to make you quit rugby so that he can be captain.” Kyle’s eyes became animated as he talked. He expected to see the light bulb come on in Marshall’s mind, but Marshall still avoided eye contact. Nothing Kyle was saying was getting through to him.

  “Maybe that’s a good thing,” Marshall said in little more than a whisper.

  “What are you talking about? You want them to mess with you tomorrow?” Kyle felt a ball of anxiety rising in his chest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing from Marshall.

  “Isn’t that what you want?” Marshall bit back. His voice was shaky and filled with pent-up emotions. “Don’t you want me to stop playing rugby? This way, everyone gets what they want. My dad will get so see me play in the finals, and you’ll get to see me kicked from the team. Everyone wins!” Marshall seemed close to tears by the end of his outburst. Kyle almost felt sorry for him, but Kyle’s own emotions were brimming and he saw red.

  “I want you to be safe!” Kyle yelled. “I’m trying to keep you safe. Don’t you see that? You could get hurt. We don’t even know what they’re planning to do. If you go through with the match, who knows what could happen? Paul’s already predicted that you’ll be injured. I can’t let you put yourself in danger like that.”

  “There it is again!” Marshall called out, tears now filling his eyes. “Just like everyone else. You know what’s best for me. I’m glad things didn’t go any further between the two of us the other night. If this is the way you see me, the way you treat me, maybe it’s for the best that we don’t see each other anymore.”

  Marshall’s words cut deep. Kyle’s mind instantly flashed back to a moment from his childhood, the image of his father leaving. It was the first time Kyle had realized how painful caring about someone could be, and how difficult giving up control was. It was the first time he had ever felt the heartbreak that followed rejection.

  Kyle couldn’t stand to be there with Marshall any longer. Marshall’s own tears felt almost mocking to Kyle. What did Marshall have to cry about? He was the one pushing Kyle away. Kyle ran past him towards the stairs, eager to get as far away from Marshall as possible. Marshall had made Kyle open himself up to love again, and his words were all the crueler because of it.

  ***

  Marshall watched through a curtain of tears as Kyle walked away. He couldn’t believe the words that had come out of his own mouth. He couldn’t believe that, after everything that Kyle had meant to him, he had so forcefully pushed him away. Marshall couldn’t even make sense of it in that moment. As the sun finally disappeared over the mountains, Marshall collapsed to the floor. He felt a heavy, deep sadness in his entire body. The tears fell with strained sobs. The world seemed to go silent, and all Marshall could think of was Kyle’s expression, the shock and hurt that Marshall had caused him just before he had left. Kyle was the first person who had really believed in Marshall as a songwriter. He was the first person that had ever truly encouraged him to pursue his passion. Marshall had shared things with Kyle that he had never shared with anyone else. And now, he was gone. Even though Marshall knew that Kyle was only trying to help him, the fact that Kyle wouldn’t accept Marshall’s decision to play in the finals and pursue rugby was just too much to deal with. Marshall couldn’t have that kind of distraction, that reminder of what he was giving up to honor his father.

  The truth was that Marshall felt guilty. He felt like a fraud around Kyle. How could he face Kyle again if he just gave up on his dream? How could he see the reminder of what he truly wanted every day when he had decided to simply go along with what others wanted from him? That was the reason Marshall had been pushing Kyle away. He couldn’t face seeing the judgement that he imagined Kyle would show him. But deep down, Marshall judged himself more harshly than anyone else ever could.

  Marshall collapsed, laying his body across the cold concrete of the rooftop. He breathed deeply, still feeling tears flow from his eyes, still being rocked by sobs. Letting go of Kyle felt like a part of what Marshall needed to do. It felt like an extra form of punishment that would seal the deal somehow that Marshall would never have the life he really wanted. A few nights before, after his performance at JJ’s, Marshall had seen in Kyle someone so beautiful and kind. All he wanted to do was be with Kyle. He could see years into the future, how they would grow together and how their feelings would grow. It was almost poetic how their lives together had started in school, so different from each other and yet drawn together. Marshall remembered again that moment at the dam when they were walking home from high school together. He had taken Kyle’s hand, helping him onto the raft, and he could feel it in that moment, the connection they shared. That bond had never gone away. Now, Marshall had severed it.

  Through the sobs Marshall began singing a heartbroken lament. It was a song he had been working on about Kyle, about everything that Kyle had meant to him, about the dreams he had for their future. Marshall had planned to sing the song to Kyle someday. Now, the song would forever be his secret.

  Chapter 25

  The Academy was like a ghost town that Saturday morning. The rest of the students on Ridgemont campus were already partying in preparation for the rugby championship finals later in the day, but the professors and students of the Academy were all at the press conference which Prof. Greer had called to announce Paul to the world. Kyle couldn’t stand the thought of it. He sat in the common room, in front of the PC, with a throbbing headache. He had been sobbing all night, with the heartache so intense that it gave him physical pain. Kyle couldn’t believe what Marshall had said to him the night before. He was sure that Marshall’s silence over the past few days wasn’t a type of rejection, and Kyle was, in a way, relieved to hear that Marshall had been too busy caring for his father to get back to Kyle. But at the back of his mind, Kyle wondered if it was the familiar pattern playing itself out again. Another guy was abandoning him. Kyle had gotten his hopes up, for the first time in a long time, and there he was again right at square one. He just couldn’t believe that Marshall could talk to him so coldly.

  Kyle decided to try and distract himself with work that morning. He knew that if Paul was sold, if business or government or anyone else had that kind of power in their hands, the consequences would likely be terrifying. Kyle was trying his best to find a backdoor into Paul, a way to shut him down remotely before Prof. Greer could do his press conference. But Prof. Greer had put extra protections on Paul since blocking Kyle’s access, and it seemed to be impossible to hack into.

  Kyle stared at the site that he used to remotely access Paul, the single box in the center of the screen requesting Kyle’s security password and below it the button for voice activation. It felt almost as if Kyle was staring at a long lost friend, someone he couldn’t reach anymore but who was still right in front of him. Nothing he had tried that morning had shown an
y signs of success. Paul’s security was impenetrable.

  Kyle decided that it was a losing battle, but he wanted to try one last thing. He clicked on the microphone command button on Paul’s remote interface, and decided to do something that made him feel silly at first. It was the only thing he could think to do, even though there was no chance of it having any effect.

  “Hi Paul,” Kyle said. He saw the audio display tick up and fall back down. Paul could hear him, at least. “I know your security software has been changed. I know I don’t have access anymore. But I just needed to say… something. Anything. Over the months that I worked on you, you started to mean a lot to me. The ability to look into the future, to predict and control things, was something I wanted so much. I was never able to predict people and the way they would act. They always seemed to surprise me, and not in a good way. And then there was you. A machine that worked purely on logic. Something so pure and precise that I was never left guessing. I think that power was something I’d been looking for forever. Ever since I was a kid. And all of the possibilities – being rich beyond my wildest dreams, being able to know how every decision would play out before I even made it; it was enough to drive me a little crazy, make me a little too arrogant. I couldn’t even see that I was becoming no better than Prof. Greer is acting right now. I was using you to show off at parties and to make money.”

  Kyle adjusted his position in his seat, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. The stubble on his chin was longer than he liked, making him look just as unsettled as he felt inside. He spoke again, his voice unsteady: “But there was one prediction that I had to do something about. One thing that you told me that made me realize what I really wanted, above all of the money and fame. When you told me that Marshall would be hurt, it changed my perspective. This was a guy that I cared about more than any of the things I thought would bring me happiness. The more time I spent with him and the closer we got, I knew that I would give up everything else you could offer me if I could just keep him safe. Even if he doesn’t want to be with me,” Kyle’s voice trembled at the final words, “all that matters is that he’s safe and happy. That was the real gift you gave me, Paul. I started to care about someone so deeply. I started to see that Marshall had been the person who saw past the things I thought were important. He trusted me, opened up to me. And that was worth so much more than the recognition I thought I wanted.