Tracking the Territories 1984- Volume Three

by Liam Byrne

  It is brief, as Zumhofe escapes between an Irwin’s legs and allows Strongbow to get back into the ring and blast both men with strikes. However, a charge at the ropes sees the Chief fly to the outside after missing Scott, whilst Bill then blasts him with the end of the whip to add further insult to injury. There isn’t much structure to this match as Strongbow tags out seconds after getting busted open, rather than play the face in peril for any extended time. Zumhofe hits multiple dropkicks as Strongbow heads backstage to leave his partner handicapped, down two against one. This doesn’t seem to effect Zumhofe in the early going as he hits two turnbuckle assisted headlock takedowns, but the attempt at a third is thwarted with a back suplex.

  The tempo is slowing as the Irwins methodically beat up Zumhofe with strikes, slams and stomps. Just as it looks like Zumhofe has no chance, Strongbow hits the ring covered in paint and brandishing a strap. The match is called on a disqualification, but it doesn’t matter for the fans as they not only see Strongbow wailing away on both Irwins with a strap, they also get a surprise return for Gary Hart, last seen in the Mid-Atlantic area earlier in the year. He punches Skandor Akbar several times, before following up with an interview alongside Mercer in which he makes it clear that he left for business, but has returned to deal with Akbar. The match itself had no flow and a finish that was ostensibly stupid, so not exactly a match that was worth the time.

  We have the big debut that has been promised for a few weeks as Jake Roberts takes on Mike Galleger. The response for Roberts is muted due to his newcomer status in the territory, though a shortarm clothesline and a DDT have the crowd interested in what they are seeing as Galleger doesn’t even make it out of the first minute of the contest. That’s how you get someone over as dangerous.

  The main event is up next and we have a switch as Michael Hayes is unable to be there, but is replaced by Terry Gordy. This is where the arena show setting leads to some awkward television as it feels odd to not just announce earlier on the show that Gordy was in the main event, yet the tickets would have been sold under the guise of Kerry going against Hayes and needed to be addressed by the ring announcer. It is a quirk of the time. Gordy tries to throw Kerry out of the ring to make use of the lumberjacks early on, but Kerry is quick to get back in, lands a back body drop and chucks Gordy out of the ring to be dealt with by the lumberjacks. Gordy almost falls out again, yet the Irwins at ringside do their best to push Bam Bam back into the ring.

  Kerry is once again too quick for the lumberjacks the next time he is thrown out, but a huge clothesline has Von Erich reeling down on the canvas. Three turnbuckle smashes lead to Gordy punching Von Erich over the top rope – a spot that Mercer makes clear could have led to a disqualification – and is finally grabbed by the lumberjacks. Back in the ring, Gordy wins a battle of punches, but loses out on another attempted turnbuckle smash. However, Gordy telegraphs a back body drop attempt with a kick and then dumps Von Erich with a piledriver for a two count. A second attempt fails and sees Von Erich hit a piledriver of his own, only for Gordy to put his feet on the bottom rope to break the pin.

  The lumberjacks stop Gordy from escaping the ring, yet this works to his advantage as he lands another big clothesline and locks on the Oriental spike. It looks like Gordy might have the match in hand, but Killer Khan wanders out, jumps into the ring and attacks Gordy with an Oriental spike of his own. All the lumberjacks are in the ring as all hell breaks loose with most of the heels being forced to bail. Mercer randomly claims Kerry as the winner, though Mark Lowrance makes it clear that it was a double disqualification. A perfectly acceptable main event, but I have seen better from the company.

  A below average show primarily due to the tag match that went absolutely nowhere. The only real plus for this show was the emphatic debut of Jake Roberts; everything else was pretty uninspiring.

  WWF Championship Wrestling 25.8.84

  This show would start with an introduction by Vince McMahon and Tony Garea, but my copy would cut McMahon off at the pass and go straight to a match between the Captain Lou Albano-less Wild Samoans and the team of Rene Goulet and his ‘secret weapon’, Robbie Parliament. Considering they only recently turned face, the Samoans get a strong reaction from the crowd. Afa and Goulet begin the match for their respective teams, with Goulet quick into the schtick as he claims multiple hair pulls before getting dropped with a chop after thinking he was clever after a leapfrog. Parliament and Sika end up in the ring following tags and a hiptoss out of the corner has McMahon refer to Parliament as a ‘big bag of blubber’. Goulet rakes Sika’s eyes to break a choke on Parliament and repeats it for an Afa front facelock, but this barely halts the Samoans’ charge. Goulet interferes one more time, only to get whopped into Parliament to set up for a Samoan double falling headbutt for three. Whilst the Samoans new found crowd support is something to behold, the match itself was dull and slow in equal measure.

  After some shilling by Captain Lou Albano, Adrian Adonis and Dick Murdoch for a match against the Wild Samoans and Mil Mascaras at the Forum in Inglewood (alongside a main event of Hulk Hogan versus Jesse Ventura), we are back in the ring with Jose Luis Rivera taking on the debuting Brutus Beefcake. McMahon talks about Beefcake wrestling in Europe and Argentina to try and sell him as someone of quality, though the fans greet him with a chant of ‘fruitcake’. Beefcake takes an absolute age to get in the ring and remove his superfluous gear. The focus is on Beefcake wearing a pair of armbands that are of questionable legality, before several collar and elbow tie ups end with Beefcake not breaking clean and taking advantage of a clubbing blow to the chest with a snapmare into a neck crank.

  Beefcake lands a slam and spends some time gloating, with a wrenching front facelock then used to cut off a brief Rivera comeback. A back body drop and powerslam off of an Irish whip set up Rivera for a vertical splash (a la Earthquake but without hitting both ropes) that earns him a three count. Rivera does the dickish move of kicking out at 3.1, but to give him his due, his bumping did make Beefcake look pretty impressive for someone so green.

  The next segment shilling the event at the Forum focuses on a rematch between Wendi Richter and the Fabulous Moolah, with Gene Okerlund throwing over to footage of Moolah interrupting the in-ring ceremony for Richter from the previous week. Pre-Albano rant that is cut off by Okerlund, Moolah tells Richter to do more running and jumping as she won’t be able to do anything after their match is finished.

  David Barbie is the next jobber waiting in the ring for his opponent and the crowd are on their feet moments later as Sergeant Slaughter’s music hits the PA system. Like Beefcake, Slaughter takes an age to get into the ring but that is due to him engaging with the fans at ringside. Barbie is a sizeable jobber and manages to work Slaughter into the ropes with a collar and elbow tie up, following that with a forearm; Slaughter returns the favour before slamming Barbie to the canvas and dropping a knee twice into the chest of his opponent. Slaughter works the arm for a while, but a Barbie eyepoke turns the tide and earns boos from the crowd. However, any halt to Slaughter’s momentum is brief as he punches Barbie, nails him with the Slaughter cannon and forces the submission with the Cobra clutch. An airing of a popular wrestler for the audience, but nothing really else worth noting, especially as the arm work screamed ‘killing time’.

  After an interview that sees the Iron Sheik complain about the double cross that occurred seven months ago when Hulk Hogan took Bob Backlund’s place in a WWF Heavyweight Title match for no apparent reason, we get a WWF Update segment with Vince McMahon talking about the aforementioned Hogan. The focus here is on Hogan’s physical fitness, with a namedropping moment in which McMahon mentions Roger Staubach as another sports star who has an interest in maintaining an athletic physique.

  Roddy Piper has Freddie Blassie, Kamala and Friday with him for Piper’s Pit this week, and Piper is quick to talk about how wonderful Blassie is as a manager, especially as he always finds new stars from all over the world. Piper is also quick to repeat how much he likes Kam
ala, voicing his concern that the Ugandan Giant might try and stab him with his spear. Blassie explains that when Kamala hits his stomach, he is ready for war, whilst also making it clear that the man is a cannibal with a taste for human flesh. It isn’t surprising as to why an 80s audience were into Kamala, even with the less than stellar work in the ring.

  The Spoiler almost blinds me as we head to ringside; his mask and cape are jewelled with gold that reflects painfully for the audience at home. He is introduced as the National Heavyweight Champion and his opponent is Jeff Lang. There is no attempt at an early clean break, with the Spoiler going straight to his rope based offense by booting it into Lang’s throat and walking across the top to land an axehandle. The Spoiler comes off of the top rope once more before dropping several knees across the throat and landing a butterfly suplex. As Lang throws a couple of punches in a vain effort to fight back, Dave Wolff joins McMahon on commentary. We get two more top rope moves, with an elbow followed by a jump into a claw hold for the submission victory. Wolff is here to plug the Fabulous Freebirds’ arrival into the WWF, rather than focus on anything to do with Cyndi Lauper. The Spoiler is unique, but using myriad top rope strikes and little else just dilutes the impact of his aerial offense.

  It is WWF review next and Chief Jay Strongbow against Paul Orndorff is the initial focus of the music video. Orndorff is unwilling to engage a fired up Chief as Pat Benatar’s ‘The Warrior’ plays over the footage. When they do, we see Orndorff hit a clothesline on the Chief before the footage segues to the less interesting contest between Mike Sharpe and Jose Luis Rivera. We are shown Sharpe breaking out of a full nelson, threatening to hit the referee and getting hit with a dropkick and back body drop. Why they thought it was worthwhile to showcase the last match is beyond me, though Sharpe still had a bit more cache at this time than he would in the future. It is the only guess I’ve got.

  We at least finish with a Hulk Hogan promo that is building to the match against Ventura, one in which he plays off of Jesse’s last promo that mentioned about him heading down to Gold’s Gym. According to Hogan’s story, Ventura ripped down a picture of the Hulk and bent a few bars, things that have the locals angry. Okerlund gets carried away and tries to finish a Hogan sentence that is tripping off the tongue of the champ, whilst Hogan wonders whether he’ll have to take on Ventura due to the big dudes who are angry at the challenger’s actions. Hogan’s storytelling is always imaginative during this era, and he mentions how his protein guy has sent word that Ventura is hiding out in San Diego, absent from his own gym, with the champion dubbing him ‘Jesse No Body Ventura’.

  There really didn’t feel like there was a lot happening in this show upon reflection. All the matches were pretty average, with nothing significant to write home about in between. The best bit was probably the Pit, but when a sycophantic Piper promo to Blassie that also incorporates some horribly dated 80s stereotyping is the highlight, it speaks volumes about the quality of the rest of the show.

  Mid-South Wrestling 30.8.84

  The Watts boys are representing this week as both Bill and Joel are at the commentary table, with the younger Watts running down a list of wrestlers on the show that include the Midnight Express, Adrian Street, Buddy Landell and Ernie Ladd, whilst the main event is Jim Duggan versus Krusher Kruschev. Though this has been played out before, an additional stipulation does give it an additional bit of interest: if Duggan loses, he will also lose his hair. Bill has sadder news to announce, with the passing of Boyd Pierce’s mother the previous week. He gives an address for people to send cards and condolences.

  Watts is quick in seguing back into effectively releasing the PYT Express via the $10,000 rule that meant if the fine wasn’t paid for using a weapon, the person would be fired. As we know, they are already working out in World Class so this just means they will stop splitting time between the two promotions. Watts then randomly talks about Jeff Mackay, an actor from the Texas region who was on Magnum PI, even mentioning his relationship with the guy’s parents. This is all to lead into a Joel Watts edited video with Duggan, Mackay…and the Junkyard Dog, even though he is no longer with the company. In the video, JYD tries to convince MacKay to watch Baa Baa Black Sheep and Duggan tries to get him to turn over to Magnum PI, but he refuses and tries to swing for the fences; Duggan easily holds him off with one hand. The video finishes with the wrestlers dragging Mackay to a TV with Mangum PI on it, only for Mackay to turn it straight over to Mid-South.

  We are five minutes into the show, but before we head to the first match, Watts chooses to address the Junkyard Dog’s appearance in the video. Taking pot shots at Dog for walking out and hurting not only Watts, but the fans as well, Bill does all he can to turn the Mid-South audience against a guy that they used to absolutely adore.

  A fairly non-descript match opens the show for us as ‘Bad’ Bob Owens meets Johnny Mantell, with Mantell using a waistlock takedown and an armbar to control his bigger opponent in the opening exchanges. As Owens fights back with clubbing forearms and a turnbuckle smash, Watts continues to run down the Dog by talking about how the pressure of Butch Reed getting at him must have caused him to flee. A clothesline and fistdrop gets a really close fall for Mantell; the closest thing I’ve seen to a nearfall/2.9 count I’ve seen. One Russian legsweep later and Mantell does pick up the win. A pretty straightforward squash, only made interesting by Watts’ continual burial of the Dog.

  The Midnight Express are due to face Rick McCord and Art Crews, but Jim Cornette (with a mask) and Krusher Kruschev are in the ring. Cornette firstly applauds Mid-South over their decision to fire the PYT Express, though chooses to skirt over why he is wearing the mask and brushes it away as a sign of Mid-South once again having it out for Cornette (in truth, he’d lost his hair as part of a stipulation match, hair versus hair, between Jim Duggan and Hercules Hernandez). The mask is also apparently an act of mourning for the Rock and Roll Express, The PYT Express, The Bruise Brothers and any other team the Midnights have run out of the promotion, as well as Jim Duggan and the Fantastics who are next in line. Cornette talks about the stipulation for the main event, which apparently includes Kruschev’s flag being up for grabs if the ‘Russian’ loses. Kruschev promises to defend his flag, a gift of Nikolai Volkoff, and present Duggan’s hair directly in Cornette’s hand.

  The Midnight Express are finally out for the aforementioned match, with Bobby Eaton and Crews starting the contest for their respective teams. Crews is isolated early in the corner, though a side headlock and punch by Dennis Condrey allows Crews to tag out to McCord. The face team use quick tags to control Condrey, with McCord in particular hitting a dropkick, yet a drop toehold by Condrey and back suplex by Eaton allows the champions to work him over moments later. A second rope kneedrop by Eaton and a Condrey powerslam sets McCord up for the Double Goozle schoolboy/clothesline combination for the easy three count. When the Midnights take over in a squash match, there isn’t anything like it in terms of execution and offense.

  Having teased him for a couple of episodes, we finally get our first look at Adrian Street in the ring in Mid-South, following one more airing of his ‘I’m In Love With Me’ video. After finishing in Mid-Atlantic as a face, it isn’t entirely clear which way Mid-South are looking to present him, with Joel noting the mixed reception he received from the crowd. Street’s schtick with Miss Linda is just brilliant, as he milks the pre-match time to make sure he looks as fabulous as is humanly possible. Terry Ellis is his opponent and a unique variant of a drop toehold allows Street to attack the leg before dropping him with two huge European uppercuts. One further uppercut and two big splashes have Street in complete control, with a crucifix into a pin finishing the match seconds later. To make it clear as to his disposition, Street then runs down the people of Mid-South in a post-match interview with Jim Ross, hating on Cajun people, ‘effeminate’ cowboys and disgusting women in turn. Street’s squashes are always pretty unique and worth watching purely due to his character work alone.

  A
fter a commercial break, Ross is with Steve Williams for some pre-taped words about the Dr Death award. Whilst I understand giving Williams windows of opportunity to develop his microphone work, he was never very good at it and stumbles through a pretty basic ‘I’ll take on anyone’-style promo.

  Buddy Landell takes on Robert Christy next, a sizeable jobber in a poorly fitting green tights and singlet combination. Christy’s size advantage does allow him to chuck Landell across the ring with ease, but this just annoys the Nature Boy, who aims a kick at the knee, hits an impressive bodyslam and nails a kneedrop to the face. A front facelock keeps Christy down for a while, before Landell hits a running forearm that sends Christy to the canvas for a three count. An odd squash insofar as it felt scrappy and disjointed, even with barely a couple of minutes given over to it.

  The thorn in Landell’s side in recent weeks, Brickhouse Brown, takes on Ernie Ladd in the next contest, with the Nature Boy joining Ladd in the corner as the bell rings. Ladd forces Brown to shake his hand and acts as if to walk away, but his attempt to jump Brown from behind backfires as Brickhouse is first to the punch. Ladd ends up on the canvas following a back body drop and ends up trying to back his way into the corner. This just lets Brown stomp on him several times instead. The ref holds Brown up, allowing Ladd to pull an illegal object out of his tights, yet again Brown is quicker to the punch. A headbutt and a dropkick has Ladd down for the count, but Landell breaks the pin to cause the disqualification.

  The numbers game is too much for Brown, at least initially as he is double teamed until Sonny King hits the ring. Brown and King use a double dropkick, double back body drop (which almost dumps Ladd on his head) and a double clothesline in an effort to show their cohesion in the face of these odds. Mid-South are really desperate for Brown to fill the void left by the Junkyard Dog; he made Ladd, a guy they were pushing at the top of the card only weeks ago, look like an idiot.