Rescued Heart

by Georgia Beers

  Big blue eyes were open, gazing at her. Ashley was on the couch, her elbow on the arm, her head propped on a fist. Bare feet on the coffee table, crossed at the ankle, her sandals on the floor. She looked decidedly comfortable and at home. And Lisa realized just then that her own head had been cushioned on Ashley’s thigh.

  “Hi,” Ashley whispered.

  “Hey,” Lisa whispered back. “You stayed.” The incredulity in her own voice was clear even to her.

  “Of course I did. Where did you think I’d go?”

  Lisa grimaced, unsure if Ashley could see it. “Anywhere but here?”

  “Well, that’s just silly.” Ashley reached out, tucked a chunk of Lisa’s hair behind her ear, and even in the darkness, Lisa could see the gentle expression, the softness of her face.

  “What time is it?” Lisa looked around the room and squinted at the cable box, but couldn’t make out the numbers.

  “Almost one a.m.,” Ashley said, after a glance at her watch.

  “Do you feel like going upstairs?” Surprised by how small her voice sounded, Lisa swallowed.

  “I think that’s a great idea. Let’s do that.”

  They got up together and worked side by side to take care of things. Ashley folded the blanket while Lisa let Keeler out the back door. While he did his business, Lisa cuddled each cat, one after the other, then let the dog back in. Reaching out, she grasped Ashley’s hand and led her upstairs.

  In the bedroom, it was as if they’d been sleeping together for years, not weeks. They left the lights off and readied themselves for bed in the dark. Wordlessly, Lisa handed Ashley a folded T-shirt from a drawer, and then pulled out one for her. They undressed quickly and quietly, donned the shirts, and crawled under the covers. Ashley lay on her back and held her arm out. Lisa simply looked for a moment, and silently thanked the Universe for sending this woman to her. She didn’t know why or how it had all happened, but she did know that she was inarguably lucky. Resting her head on Ashley’s shoulder, she tucked her body tightly against hers, tossed her leg over Ashley’s and her arm across Ashley’s stomach. Once again, she was enveloped by feelings of warmth and safety with which she was woefully unfamiliar. She snuggled in.

  Yeah. I could get used to this…

  ***

  Ashley watched the sun come up through the window of Lisa’s bedroom. It was a beautifully serene, peaceful period of time, lying there quietly and just breathing as the sky went from dark to purplish blue to pink. Just before five a.m., her eyes had opened and she’d taken stock of her location, her situation. Lisa slept soundly, still tucked up against Ashley. Ashley’s arm was tingling from lack of circulation, but she didn’t care. Holding Lisa made her feel amazingly content and relaxed, like she was exactly where she was supposed to be, and she had zero desire to move. At all. Possibly ever.

  Instead, she pressed a kiss to Lisa’s forehead and watched out the window, conveniently located across from the foot of the bed. She could see the tops of trees, a few birds flitting around here and there, and a stunning expanse of eastern sky. She was happy to have awakened first, not only because of the gorgeous view—both out the window and in her arms—but because it prevented a repeat of the last time Ashley’d woken up in this bed. The thought made an unexpected, quiet chuckle pop from her mouth, and Lisa stirred. Limbs moved slowly, a deep intake of breath, and then eyes fluttered open, revealing those heart-stopping green depths.

  “Good morning,” Ashley whispered to her.

  “Were you just laughing at me?” Lisa asked just as quietly, her brow furrowed in puzzlement.

  Ashley grinned. “Not at you, no. But I did laugh a little. Sorry.”

  “What was funny?”

  Ashley looked down at her, gave her a kiss in the forehead. “It occurred to me that if I just make sure I wake up before you do, you’ll never be able to leave me a blow-off note again.”

  Lisa’s grin was an interesting combination of humor, embarrassment, and chagrin. “That would probably do it,” she said after a beat.

  They were both quiet for a long moment. “You’re going to have to stop that type of thing. The running away when things get hard? Complicated? If you can’t, we might as well throw in the towel on this right now because I only have so much bravery. You know?”

  Lisa nodded against Ashley’s shoulder, but said nothing.

  “I’ll help you. We can work on it together.”

  “Okay.”

  Ashley glanced down at her again. “That was convincing.”

  Lisa gave a sad smile. “I can promise to try, Ashley, but let’s be realistic. I’m in my thirties. I’ve been this person for quite some time now. What if I don’t know how not to be her?”

  Ashley studied her for a moment, hearing the tinge of fear in her voice and suddenly had a tiny spark of understanding. “Oh, sweetie, is that what you think? That I want to change you?”

  Lisa pushed herself up onto her elbows so she could look Ashley in the eye. “Don’t you?”

  “No! Of course not.” Ashley gave a chuckle at the absurdity of it. “Why would I want to hook up with you only to change you into somebody else? Seems like an awful lot of effort.”

  Lisa looked down at her hands, toyed with a string on the corner of her pillowcase. She did not seem convinced.

  Trying a different tack, Ashley said, “You know what I do want?”

  “What?”

  “I want you to talk to me. Instead of running. Instead of shutting down into silence. Instead of leaving me a note. I want you to talk to me.”

  “Tall order.”

  “I think you’re up to it.”

  Lisa looked at her then…really looked at her. Those green eyes seemed to burrow in, through her skin and right into her mind. Ashley had to make a conscious effort not to squirm. “When did you get so…assertive?” Lisa finally asked, her voice barely a whisper.

  Ashley smiled because that was an easy one. “When I met you.” It was true. It was fact. She had no reasonable explanation. She was not a go-getter. She was not a person who stood up or raised a hand. No, Ashley Stiles was perfectly content to sit quietly, to not rock the boat, and to let life happen around her. She knew this about herself, had accepted it.

  And then Lisa had come along and very gradually, something had clicked. Into place? Out of place? Ashley had no idea. She simply kept coming back to that same sentence over and over again and she said it now. “You make me brave.”

  Lisa gave a quiet scoff. “Well, I don’t know how that could be. I’m not brave. In fact, I’m kind of a coward.”

  “You’re not.” Ashley said the two words with such conviction, she surprised even herself. She grasped Lisa’s chin and forced eye contact. “You’re not,” she said again, softer this time. There was a long moment of connection then, their faces inches apart, each set of eyes boring into the other, their mouths a hair’s breadth away from a kiss.

  “I’m afraid,” Lisa whispered, her eyes welling.

  “Of what?”

  Lisa blinked and a tear tracked down her cheek causing what felt like a little crack in Ashley’s heart. She brushed it away with her thumb. Lisa closed her eyes as she seemed to search for the right words. “I’ve had a lot of anger,” she began. “A lot of anger for a really long time.” Ashley nodded for her to continue. “I think…I think I don’t know who I’ll be if I lose it.” Lisa brought her gaze back to Ashley’s as she asked softly, “Who am I if I’m not the angry, abandoned daughter?”

  “You’re you, honey,” Ashley replied simply, and she really felt it was just that: simple. She put a hand over Lisa’s heart. “You’re you.”

  “How do you know?”

  Ashley shrugged, having no clear answer to that question. “I just do.”

  “And what if you’re wrong?”

  “Again: silly,” Ashley said with a grin, attempting to lighten the mood. When Lisa didn’t smile back, Ashley said with all the surety she could summon, “Then we’ll deal with it. Together. Oka
y?”

  Their faces were still very close together, and Lisa made the move. She pushed her body the small distance left and pressed her lips to Ashley’s. They kissed softly, tenderly, as the sun broke fully over the horizon outside the window, and Lisa shifted her body to cover more of Ashley’s. The warmth enveloped them under the covers as Ashley ran her hands up and down the smooth planes of Lisa’s back under the thin cotton T-shirt. Which didn’t last long, as Ashley pulled it up and over Lisa’s head, baring her lovely torso to Ashley’s eyes, hands, mouth.

  She easily flipped them so she was on top but it was different this time. Gone was the animalistic coupling that so often took them over. Tempered was the speed, the aggression. Ashley took her time, took the time to look, to feast with her eyes as well as her hands and mouth. She slipped Lisa’s bikinis down her legs and off, then shed her own clothing. When she laid her weight on Lisa, her hips settled between Lisa’s legs, a quiet moan of satisfaction pushed from her lungs and she could not recall a time when she felt more perfectly content.

  Slowly and easily, she made love to Lisa, worshipped her body. Every move she made was deliberate and unhurried. She kissed Lisa languidly for what felt like hours. She spent long, long moments on each breast, tasting, enjoying. When she moved lower and finally slid her fingers inside, the sound Lisa made wasn’t a cry. It was a long, low moan of what came through as relief to Ashley, and she smiled up at her before lowering her mouth and taking in as much of Lisa as she could. As she kept her movements languorous and gentle, and Lisa’s orgasm grew closer and closer, one thought kept rolling through Ashley’s head, warm and sweet and wonderful.

  I am home.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  A combination of emotions sat on Lisa’s shoulders for the next two days, and she swore she could actually feel the weight of them pushing on her. She was a walking dichotomy. She felt lighter, but heavier. She felt happier, but sadder. She was excited, but trepidatious. She was certain and she was worried.

  It was exhausting.

  Thursday afternoon, she sat at her desk, pen in hand, papers to be signed on the surface in front of her. And she sat there. And she sat there. Empty space seemed to hold her interest more than anything, as that’s all she looked at for most of the day.

  “What’s going on with you?”

  The voice startled Lisa on a high enough level to make her flinch in her chair. She refocused her eyes and met the squinting blue ones of Jessica Barstow.

  “I’m sorry, what?” Lisa asked, mentally shaking herself.

  “I said what’s going on with you? You’ve been acting strange since yesterday morning and I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.”

  Lisa gave her a sad smile. “I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

  Jessica studied her for a long moment, and Lisa thought to herself—as she so often did—how beautiful her friend was. Today, she was more casual yet somehow still stunning, sporting a pair of dark jeans and a sleeveless button-down shirt in pink and blue plaid. Her auburn hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail and her lips were glossy. Parking her hip on the edge of Lisa’s desk, she lowered her voice. “I’m here, you know.”

  Lisa nodded.

  “Is it Ashley?”

  Lisa pressed her lips together, absorbing the fact that Jessica obviously knew about them. “Um…we’ve tried to be subtle about that…” Her voice trailed off.

  Jessica grinned. “You have been. No worries. I know you, that’s all.”

  “Well, it’s a little bit her and it’s a lot of other stuff. I’m just…working through some things.” She opened her hands and sort of waved them on either side of her skull. “I’ll be fine.”

  Jessica brought a hand up to the back of her own neck and rubbed with her fingers as she looked at her friend. Finally, she seemed to relent. “All right. But you know you can talk to me if you need to. Okay?”

  Lisa nodded, realizing that she’d probably stung her friend by not confiding in her, but honestly, she wasn’t sure what she’d say. She was still rolling it all around in her own head. “Okay. Thanks, Jessie. I appreciate it.”

  Jessica squinted at the nickname, as Lisa knew she would. Nobody called her anything but her full name, and Lisa used the shortened version in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. It worked. Jessica cocked an eyebrow as she slid off the desk and pointed at Lisa. “Watch yourself, Drakemore. I’m still your boss.”

  Lisa scoffed. “You don’t scare me.”

  Jessica dropped her hand and sighed. “I know. Damn it.” Then she winked at Lisa and headed toward the door.

  It was good to have friends who cared. She was fortunate. Lisa knew this. But she wasn’t lying; she really wasn’t quite sure what was going on in her brain or what the next step would be. All she did know was that Ashley seemed to…open her up somehow. She had no better explanation for it. She was open. She had been closed without realizing it. It astonished her to understand that she didn’t want to be closed any longer. Being open felt…right. It was a relief. She felt like she could take a full breath for the first time in years, and she wanted to stay this way, but in order to accomplish that, she needed to take some steps.

  She reached into her purse in the desk drawer and withdrew her cell phone, then let Tammy know she was going to take a quick break and headed toward the lobby and out the front door.

  It was hot out. Uncomfortably so, and Lisa felt sweat beading on her upper lip in a matter of minutes. She took a right and walked along the building, then around it to the dog-walking path that led to the barn. Once she got up next to the trees, it was shady and the temperature felt a good fifteen degrees cooler there. She slowed her pace to a leisurely stroll and dialed the number.

  “Is this my favorite niece?” came the expected greeting.

  Lisa couldn’t help the grin. “Only if this is my favorite aunt.”

  “You’re in luck.” They both chuckled. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”

  “I’m good. You?”

  “I’m terrific. And very happy to hear from you. Unless you’re calling to try and get out of dinner on Saturday. If that’s the case, I’m hanging up and pretending I never got this call.”

  Lisa glimpsed a goldfinch out of the corner of her eye as it flew out of a tree and across the open space before her. “No, I’m not calling to bail. I promise.” Deep breath in…slowly out. She cleared her throat. “I need a favor.”

  “Anything.”

  “Do you think…I mean, I need to—” A growl of frustration let loose from her throat and Lisa was suddenly angry with this whole situation. All of it. The entire past ten years and more. “God, I’m so done with this,” she muttered as she felt tears closing in.

  “Honey.” Aunt Joyce’s voice was gentle, loving. “Tell me what you need. Just talk to me.”

  “Can you set up a meeting with Mom? Maybe at your house? Someplace neutral?”

  Her aunt was quiet for a beat. “You want to have a chat with her?”

  “Yes.”

  “Like, a real chat? A talk? About everything?”

  “Yes.” Lisa could tell by her aunt’s tone that she was liking this idea.

  “I can do that. Tell me when?”

  “Tonight or tomorrow?” Lisa said. “I need to do it before dinner on Saturday.”

  She could almost see Aunt Joyce nodding. “You got it. Give me a little time and I’ll call you back.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  “You are very welcome. And Lisa?”

  Lisa swallowed, her mind already racing, wondering if this was the right step. “Hmm?”

  “I’m really proud of you.”

  They ended the call and Lisa kept walking, tried to relax by focusing on the beauty of nature that surrounded her instead of the uncertainty that swirled around in her brain. The trees were in full late-summer bloom, all lush and thick with green leaves. A gentle—albeit hot—breeze rustled them and the sound was somehow comforting. She approached the barn and wal
ked up to the split rail fence. Four horses and two burros grazed lazily, and Lisa envied them their lack of concern. A brown and white spotted mare noticed her with one big brown eye and sauntered over to her, her strong lower jaw moving in a circular motion as she chewed. She came right up to the fence and pushed her snout in Lisa’s direction. Her nose felt like velvet under Lisa’s hand and she stroked it for what felt like a long while, enjoying the peace an animal could bring. This was exactly why she loved working here. The animals and their capacity to give unconditional love. They were all so special, each and every one of them. This horse seemed to know somehow that Lisa could use a little bit of love, and she’d offered it without question. It welled up Lisa’s eyes, and she sniffled, then wiped away one tear that had escaped and tracked down her cheek, wondering when she’d suffered a crack in the waterworks. She’d never cried so often in her life. It was as if she’d broken a seal.

  She stayed for as long as she dared before Tammy sent a search party looking for her, and the mare stayed with her, seemingly unhurried, willing to stand there and be stroked for as long as Lisa needed to stroke her. Finally, Lisa placed a gentle kiss on the horse’s nose, whispered her thanks, and headed back toward the main building.

  That dichotomous feeling was back, and she didn’t like it, didn’t like being uncertain and scared. But she was also a little bit…excited was the wrong word. She wasn’t excited, but she was…cautiously optimistic maybe? Her brain knew that a frank conversation with her mother was long—long—overdue. But her heart was frightened, and she really did wonder what would become of her, who she would be if she wasn’t Diana Drakemore’s angry, abandoned daughter any longer. Would she even recognize herself?

  What if she didn’t?

  ***

  Ashley wasn’t nervous.

  Was she? Well, maybe she was. But not for herself. She was nervous for Lisa and that spoke volumes about what she’d grown to mean to her. She thought about mentioning it as she rapped on Lisa’s front door, but decided the poor woman was under enough stress right now. Best not to add another iron to that fire, so to speak. That was a bridge they’d cross soon enough and…she was sure she could come up with some more metaphors if she worked on it.