44 Gilmore Street

by Shani Struthers

  As Ruby tried to comfort her, Cash moved over to the living room window to take a look outside. “There are reporters out there now, Ruby. I reckon one of the neighbours has been on the phone again.”

  “Bloody neighbours!” Samantha found her voice at last. “So interfering.”

  Ruby couldn’t think about neighbours and reporters now. What was happening outside the house seemed a million miles away. All except number 44 Gilmore Street, of course, which was always on the radar. Delia had gone to fetch a box of tissues and Ruby handed one to Linda. After Linda had blown her nose, Ruby forced her to make eye contact again in an attempt to press her next words home. “Linda, what you did was not evil, not under the circumstances. You’d lost your mind, you weren’t thinking straight.”

  “I’d gone insane you mean.” It wasn’t a question.

  “But you’re not insane now. I said before I wouldn’t judge you and I don’t. I don’t condemn you either. I don’t think there’s a single person in this room who would, not now they know the full story, how much you’ve suffered, how much you all suffered.”

  Everyone voiced their agreement, strongly so. Linda’s tears halted: she looked around her, hardly able to believe it. Theo nodded for Ruby to continue.

  “After you left Gilmore Street there are no more memories from Ellie. She did die at the house I think, to miscarry, as you say, a few hours later, in London. In some ways, perhaps that was a miracle too. You’re right, Quinn was damaged and he’d damaged you. Perhaps her life would have been as miserable as yours. And perhaps that’s what motivated you: the child’s wellbeing – be it a girl or a boy. A mother’s love in other words.”

  “A mother’s love?”

  “Yes, something you’re still capable of, even after everything.”

  “How do you know that?” Linda’s voice had a plea in it.

  “Because you’re still mourning her loss, even now, after all this time.”

  “Mourning?” Linda repeated. “A mother’s love?” Her next words were so low Ruby could barely hear them. “I’ve never thought of it that way before.”

  “Perhaps think of it that way from now on. That’s the choice you have.”

  Linda looked up. “But just now, in Gilmore Street, I wanted to hurt him so bad, have one last attempt at it. Once again I used our child as a weapon.”

  “And you succeeded,” Ruby replied. “But you see that’s a good thing too because it’s shown us something. If he’s capable of being hurt, he’s not evil either. And if he’s not evil we can reach him.”

  Ruby noticed Theo smile, proud of her too.

  Cash was still clearly very worried about the reporters. “Ruby, there’s a heck of a lot of them out there. More than I’ve seen before. What are we going to do?”

  That was the million-dollar question.

  “Ness…” Ruby didn’t have to say anymore, Ness knew what she was thinking. The smile on her face was not just acceptance of Ruby’s silent apology regarding their head-to-head over Ellie it was also the go-ahead.

  “Linda, I don’t want you going back into Gilmore Street. Whether you’re part of his soul group or not, I don’t think it’s constructive. You and Quinn have come to the end of the road – in this life anyway. But, if she’s willing,” and Ruby had an inkling she might be, “I’m going to ask Ellie if she would.”

  “Ellie?” Linda gasped. “But… he’ll hurt her.”

  “And perhaps he won’t,” Ruby replied. “But, don’t worry, I’ll go in with her. She won’t be alone.” To Samantha, Ruby said, “Is that all right?”

  Samantha nodded. “I trust you, Ruby. More than I trusted any of that other shower.”

  “Thanks,” Ruby murmured, humbled that she did.

  Linda was clutching at her arm again. “I’ll get to meet my… I don’t know what to call her… Ellie. I’ll get to meet Ellie?” There was such hope in her expression, something that had been absent for a very long time.

  “You will and she, erm… from what I know of her, needs a mother figure.”

  “She doesn’t have one?” Linda was surprised.

  “It’s a long story but let’s just say you could be a godsend.” Not needing to look at Cash to realise his growing anxiety, she continued. “You can get to know each other afterwards, but it’s more pressing that Ellie meets Quinn first. I’d better go and phone her and see if she’s willing to do just that.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Thankfully, Ellie was only too willing. In fact, despite the magnitude of what Ruby had just asked her to do, explaining as concisely as possible the events of the last twenty-four hours, the girl was apologising to her.

  “I’m sorry about what I did, I was only trying to help.”

  “Ellie, that’s old news,” Ruby had replied, intending the pun, “and it’s not you who should be apologising, it’s me. I’m sorry I was so reluctant to help you. I could give you a thousand excuses why: my workload was too much at the time, I was tired, I didn’t want to diversify – I didn’t believe you – I felt threatened by you even.” Although now she realised the threat she’d sensed was actually around Linda, her subconscious trying to warn her. “We can discuss all that at a later date. Right now we need your help.”

  “There’s no question I’m going to help.” Before Ruby could respond, Ellie continued. “I can’t believe it. No, that’s not true, I can believe it. I don’t know… it’s so unreal but at the same time it feels so real. I’m sorry. I’m gabbing on again aren’t I? But it just… it makes sense now, all of it.”

  “That jigsaw we talked about, it’s a puzzle no longer.”

  “Exactly. Thanks so much for finding all this out.”

  “It was a team effort.”

  “Yeah, you, Ailsa and the rest of Psychic Surveys, you smashed it.”

  Despite her enthusiasm, Ruby felt she had to warn her again, press the point home. “Ellie, Quinn is very angry, he’s violent too. There’s danger—”

  “I know there’s danger, but he’s my dad – or rather he was. I have to try. Besides which, you’ll be with me and I trust you, Ruby, I always have.”

  Ellie’s faith in her, Samantha’s faith in her – it spurred her on. Trust in yourself now, Ruby. You can do this – you can move Quinn on.

  For the first time she believed it. They had Linda’s ‘weapon’ on side.

  Linda had been nervous about meeting Ellie, and had started shaking at the thought of it.

  “I killed her, Ruby, she’ll never forgive me.”

  “I think you’ll find Ellie’s the forgiving kind. Besides which, she understands remember.” Something else occurred to Ruby. “Linda, would you mind showing me the inside of your arms?”

  “My arms?” Linda didn’t appear keen at all.

  “Humour me,” responded Ruby.

  As she tentatively lifted up her sleeves, Ruby’s hunch proved correct. There were silver and white lines on both arms, but particularly on the arm where Ellie scratched at her eczema – another manifestation of their bond.

  “I self-harm.” The shame in Linda was awful to see.

  “I guessed,” Ruby had replied.

  “She’s the best of us, isn’t she? Ellie.”

  “She is.”

  Leaving Ness with Linda, Ruby had managed to get Theo on her own. “I still can’t believe we’ve had the answer all along.”

  “That’s the advantage of being loud and proud,” Theo answered. “As I said, Ellie might never have come to you if the service you provide wasn’t a public one. And Linda, she would never have known what was happening in Gilmore Street if the national press hadn’t picked up on the story.”

  “You’re making the press seem like our friend rather than the enemy.”

  Theo burst out laughing, one of her infamous bellows that had you quickly reaching upwards to cover your ears. “Perhaps that is a step too far,” she admitted. Growing serious, she expressed concern about just Ruby and Ellie going into Gilmore Street. “We should all be
there, there’s safety in numbers.”

  “But you will be, you’ll be just outside, within shouting distance.” Ruby paused. “I don’t know, you could chat to our old friends, the reporters, whilst you’re waiting. Get Delia to make them a cup of tea. The thing is, Theo, I don’t want to overwhelm Quinn, not like we did before. Despite everything… he’s a sensitive soul.”

  “Chat to the reporters?” Theo’s face was comical.

  “That’s right, according to you, they’re in this as much as we are.”

  “All you need is a red carpet,” Cash muttered. “It’s a bit remiss of them not to provide one, I think.”

  He was right, Ruby felt like the world’s biggest celebrity as she walked from one side of Gilmore Street to the other, the cameras clicking away. Making the most of the moment rather than shying away from it, she threw her shoulders back, held her head up high and, adopting the glamour, took confident strides. Beside her Ellie did the same. In the crowd, she saw Robin – he was giving her the thumbs-up.

  “We’re rooting for you, Ruby,” he yelled. “Good luck!”

  Before entering the house, Cash reiterated that they were just outside. “We’ll break the door down if necessary.” Referring to the fact he’d already had to do so twice in Gilmore Street, he added, “It’s a speciality of mine.”

  Ruby laughed, feeling comforted. There was still a chance after all that this wouldn’t work, and that breaking down the door for a third time might actually be necessary. If that was the case, they’d have done all they could, she was out of ideas. They might even have to walk away. She’d tell Quinn that, make sure he knew it was his prerogative to stay in hell if he wanted to.

  She told Jed to stay put as well, but he didn’t seem to need reminding. As he stood beside Cash, the dog dipped his head as if giving her the go ahead. Tending to use him as a barometer, she took that as a positive sign.

  Turning to Ellie, she said, “Are you ready?”

  “I’m ready,” replied Ellie, a smile brightening her.

  Opening the door to 44 Gilmore Street, the pair of them stepped into the hallway, Ruby shutting the door behind them – shutting them in. Even though she had Ellie with her, she couldn’t help but feel a frisson of fear and had to remind herself to breathe evenly. But not only that, to keep what was bad inside caged, to understand evil but not emulate it. There was no evil in Ellie, which was important to remember too, nothing for Quinn to latch onto.

  It’s only you where that applies.

  Ruby shook that thought from her head, refused to even entertain it.

  As Linda had done, Ellie looked around her in wonder. “It doesn’t look the way I saw it through Linda’s eyes, but this is it. This is the house.” Understandably, she seemed overwhelmed. “I can’t believe I’m here.”

  “It must feel strange.”

  “It feels a whole mixture of things.”

  Giving her a moment to come to terms with it, Ruby suggested they walk towards the kitchen.

  “That’s where I died isn’t it?”

  “Linda miscarried in London,” Ruby reminded her. “But yes, it’s likely the kitchen is where you passed.”

  “We’ll never really know will we?”

  “No,” Ruby admitted. “We won’t, not for sure.”

  This time Ellie’s smile held nothing more than sadness.

  Walking further into the house, Ruby almost expected the dark figure of Quinn, his eyes ablaze, to come rushing down the hallway, to hurl himself at her, or worse still, Ellie. She forced herself to keep moving, one foot in front of the other. It was time to step up, to be a ‘giant’ alongside Theo and Ness.

  Despite her fanciful notions, there was no sign of Quinn. Could his early spectacular display of energy have exhausted him?

  At the door to the kitchen, Ellie sped up, took the lead, surprising Ruby. She was about to stop her, when Ellie started speaking again.

  “Dad?” she breathed into the darkness of the room. “Dad, are you there?”

  Ruby swallowed. What would Quinn’s reaction be to the word ‘dad’?

  Switching on a torch she’d borrowed from Delia she followed her in too. “Ellie,” she said, “let me explain to Quinn first…”

  But Ellie wasn’t listening. She turned to Ruby, her eyes wide. “He was my dad, Ruby! I know it was in a former life but even so. And Linda was my mum. Do you know how incredible that feels – to know you’ve got history?”

  What could Ruby tell her? That she only half-knew? This was not the time.

  “Ellie, I appreciate what you’re saying, but let me speak to him first.”

  Ellie backed down, nodded for her to go ahead.

  Shining the light into the corner where Quinn had first materialised, Ruby addressed him yet again.

  “Quinn, it’s me, it’s Ruby. And this time I haven’t got Linda with me; I’ve got Ellie. Ellie is… was your daughter, the baby that Linda beat out of her.”

  She paused – waited for her words to sink in.

  Was that a figure unfolding? It was. It was Quinn, definitely depleted, but gaining in strength, becoming more substantial. She had to hurry, to explain.

  “Your baby did die, but she came back again, Quinn, and somehow she’s found you, and Linda too. It’s her soul but in a different body. In this life, she’s known as Ellie. She’s young, strong and beautiful. She’s the best of both of you. You wanted a child, I know you did, Linda told me. And she’s here, she’s found you, she wants to let you know that there’s something good within you and from it, she emerged. You’re not evil, Quinn, you’re not damned, and you shouldn’t be in hell. If you go to the other side you can begin to work things through, all of your issues. And you’ll be helped to do that. But right now, look at your daughter, at the something beautiful that’s a part of you.”

  The torch dropped from Ruby’s hand as she was thrown backwards, crashing into the wall behind her.

  “Ruby!” Ellie screamed. “Dad!”

  Once again Ruby hadn’t seen Quinn coming – one minute he was crouching by the kitchen table, struggling to materialise, the next he was on her, his hands tearing the tourmaline necklace from her neck before closing round it. Without her great-grandmothers’ heirloom, she felt naked, vulnerable, far from the giant she wanted to be. Beforehand, the necklace had provided some protection, a shield, now there was no barrier between them. She had to be quick, Ellie had to be quick. Soon, with the pressure at her throat mounting, she wouldn’t be able to say anything at all.

  “Ellie, don’t call the others, not yet. Talk to Quinn, talk to your dad, you’re the only one who stands a chance of getting through to him.”

  Ellie hesitated, her eyes darting between the exit and Ruby.

  “Ellie, please… there’s not much time. Talk to him!”

  “I can’t see him!” Ellie yelled.

  “It doesn’t matter, talk to him. He can hear you.”

  That was it, she could say no more. It was up to Ellie now. Her life depended on what the terrified girl did next.

  “There’s knocking at the door, I think they might have heard me scream.”

  Please, Ellie.

  Ellie darted to the hallway. “It’s all right, we’re okay in here.”

  The knocking died down.

  Good girl, Ellie, good girl.

  The fact that Jed had stayed put, hadn’t run through the front door, as he was able to do so easily, strengthened her resolve that the key players were in situ – no one else was needed.

  Re-entering the kitchen, Ellie walked boldly over to where Ruby’s body was pinned. That streak of steel in her, Ruby was grateful for it.

  “Dad,” she pleaded, “stop it. Stop what you’re doing.”

  Quinn didn’t even turn to look at her.

  “Dad, please, I’m begging you.”

  Her words were falling on deaf ears.

  “DAD!”

  Even though she tried to suppress it, panic started to flare in Ruby. That confidence she had t
ried so hard to summon up was beginning to wane. She tried to imagine it as something physical, did her best to keep hold of it but her grip was nowhere near as impressive as Quinn’s.

  Why wasn’t he listening? Didn’t he believe them? That must be it. He didn’t believe them! How could they make him? What else could they do? She could feel her eyes bulging, her sight dimming. He didn’t believe them and now she would pay the price. It had been a mistake to bring Ellie here – another mistake – one of a series – a whole catalogue of them. But it had also been the only option left to them. Miserably, she realised Quinn was going nowhere. Hell was all he knew. The last thing he wanted was resolution. If she tried she could fight back, but she was tired, too tired. But more than that she didn’t want to fight like with like, not in Quinn’s case, not anymore. It got you nowhere. Just plunged you into hell alongside him – an intolerable concept. Even so, the temptation, oh, the temptation… Ruby only hoped that the others would burst in before she could give into it, before he turned his attention towards Ellie. That the girl would be saved at least – not meet her death again in this house. Surely they would? Jed would have sensed how wrong it had gone. He’d be here any minute. Wouldn’t he? The seconds were ticking by. There was no longer a clock on the wall but she imagined the one that Ellie had described during one of her regression sessions, the lonely sound of it as eternity stretched out before her – an endless road, disappearing into the distance. Where was he? Her protector. A closed door was no barrier to him. Not even to Cash. Why weren’t they running down the hall, miraculously appearing as they did when Linda was attacking her in her office? She needed them – again. Her eyes were fluttering, beginning to close. What was that in the distance? Who was that? Not someone from this lifetime. It was someone she’d never met. But someone she recognised all the same from photographs she’d pored over in the past. It was an older woman, distinguished, discerning. It was Rosamund, her great-grandmother. What did she want? Although so far away, Ruby could see there was a smile on the other woman’s face. Was she going to beckon her? Tell her to come forward. Not her body but her spirit – cross the great divide. Then Rosamund stopped smiling, nodded instead – started to recede.