Out of Patience Aphrodite

by S. E. Babin

  We trudged through the never changing scenery of what seemed to be a really sterile hospital ward. When we were about to pass a new set of doors that looked exactly the same, Hades held a hand up. “Stop.”

  We all stopped abruptly. I held my breath. Hades walked on silent feet over to one of the doors. “He knows I’m here,” he whispered. He stood up straight and gave us all a somber look. “He knows we are all here.”

  The door flew open.

  Ares raised his sword in the air and screamed, “PREPARE FOR BATTLE!”

  Which was...perhaps a slight overreaction considering we were the only ones in the hallway, but he didn’t have to come, so I patted him on the shoulder and waited for the debris from the door to settle. I wasn’t walking into nothing until I knew what was on the other side.

  Ares, clever and brave, but perhaps not possessed of the most common sense, barrelled inside first only to let out an ear splitting scream.

  Silence fell and with it my heart.

  If he killed our God of War, I was going to make him squeal like a little piglet on the way to slaughter. Either way. He was still SO dead.

  We waited but didn’t hear anything else. Wherever Ares was, he lay silent. Or he was gone. We had no way to know. Hades took my hand, put up a shield barrier, and we stepped through.

  This room wasn’t white. Far from it. It looked like a jungle married a succulent farm and had babies. Humidity made my clothes stick to my skin and sweat to break out on my forehead.

  “Mom?”

  I spun around. Draco stood in front of me. My heart leaped. He appeared to be unharmed. I took a step toward him, but he held up a hand.

  “He’s everywhere,” Draco whispered.

  I stopped.

  “Draco?” I let my gaze roam over him, then opened up my other sight to see if there was something wrong with him. Physically he seemed fine.

  God had tethered his magic. To something. Threads of silvery magic were all over him, but the magic was stretched up to the ceiling and beyond. Something was keeping him here.

  Hades stood beside me.

  “Dad?” Draco asked. His lower lip quivered.

  “Yes. You saved me.”

  “Good. That’s good.”

  To Hades’ credit he didn’t bat an eye when confronted with the older version of his son. “Are you okay?”

  Draco shook his head. “God has tethered my magic to this place. He released his own.” He swallowed hard and looked like nothing more than a scared little boy. “He knows you’re here to destroy him.”

  The ramifications struck me like an anvil. We couldn’t destroy Heaven without killing our son. “Where is he?” I asked, my voice a rasp.

  “Everywhere,” Draco whispered. “He needed a tether with similar magic. He said my father’s magic was too alien. Too changed. But mine...he found out it was like his, even though it was diluted with Olympian blood. He spent the last four weeks performing the spell. He finished it this morning.” Draco hung his head. “I am stuck here.”

  The rest of the crew came pouring into the door. “Everything okay?” said Hera and sucked in her breath as she saw Draco. “Gods,” she whispered. “He is bound to this place.”

  I turned wild eyes to Gabriel. “How do we unbound him?”

  He shook his head, shock making his face bone white. “God does not tell me his secrets.”

  I grabbed him by the shoulders. “Then tell me who he tells them to!” I shouted in his face.

  Hades touched my back. “He cannot help you.”

  “You know.” I spun to him. “You know how to do the tethering?”

  Hades’ brow crinkled. “I...do. He taught it to me when I was young. He said I would one day tether to Heaven and step into rule.”

  A ray of hope lit me from the inside. “Okay,” I gasped. “Okay.”

  “Where is he, Draco?”

  He shook his head. “Everywhere.”

  “Draco,” I asked gently, “where did you last see him?”

  “Room 125,” he whispered.

  So weird. Heaven was whack.

  “Okay. Stay right here. We will be back.”

  “Abby?” Hades questioned my retreating back.

  “Is he weaker being untethered?”

  Hades shrugged. “Possibly at first, but not for long. The tethering keeps the magic operational and stable. That’s all. My father is still powerful. Extremely powerful. But he couldn’t hold all the magic in place without a boost.”

  “Is there a focus? Some kind of conduit that holds the spell?”

  Hades’ expression cleared. He threw up a cloaking shield. “I hope he didn’t hear that. Yes. There’s a focus, but God wears it all the time. It’s a small charm.”

  “Powering all this magic?”

  “Weird, I know, but yes. He spent thousands of years pouring magic into it. Creating the heavens did not happen overnight.”

  “If we can get that from him, we can destroy the tethering?”

  He nodded. “It would free our son, but we would still have to deal with him.”

  I motioned for Hades to drop the shield and waved at my friends to huddle up. A groan from the other side of the room revealed a haggard looking Ares. But he was alive. Hades reinstated the cloaking shield. I whispered the plan to my friends. It was greeted with stark disbelief, but everyone agreed to it. It wasn’t like we had a lot of options. When we hashed it out, Hades dropped the shield and we left our friends to take care of our son.

  Hades and I went to room 125.

  God was smoking a cigar. This freaking guy.

  The only reason I didn’t blast him smack in the face with all of my power was because Hades squeezed my hand in warning.

  “Father,” Hades said.

  God blew out a puff of perfectly round smoke, grinned, and offered Hades one.

  “No thanks. I don’t accept gifts from psychopaths.”

  A maniacal grin spread across my face.

  “Now don’t say that,” God said in as jovial a tone as I’d ever heard from him. “You would have done the same thing.”

  Hades rubbed the back of his neck and squinted up at the ceiling. “Can’t say that I would have.”

  God straightened in his seat, some of the good humor falling off his face. “The son I used to have would.”

  “You mean Lucifer?”

  God studied. “Of course that’s who I mean.”

  “I am still Lucifer. Casting me out was the best thing you could have done for me.”

  “You changed.”

  Hades nodded.

  “For the worse.”

  “I don’t agree with you there, either. The changes were forced upon me, some due to Olympian magic.” He pulled me closer to him. “Some due to friends and family.”

  God made a huffing noise. “No one here loves you, boy. The Olympians are users. They always have been. Always will be. You’re standing with her now because she wants your power. She’s here for my kingdom.” He took another puff of cigarette.

  Hades rolled his eyes. “If you think Abby cares one whit about your kingdom, you’re an even bigger fool than I thought.” He stepped closer. “She’d trade this kingdom for a cup of coffee and a box of donuts.”

  “True story,” I murmured.

  God stood and slammed his hand down on the table in front of him. “You know nothing! She is a vile, manipulative abuser who cares nothing for other people. Have you not read the histories?”

  “That’s all true,” I said. “Every bit of it. Up until about ohh...maybe the 1920’s. And then I changed.”

  God snorted dismissively. “People don’t change!”

  “You literally just accused Hades of it,” I said.

  “He changed because of magic. Not out of altruism.”

  “Listen,” I said, “we aren’t here to debate morality with you. Give us back our son and we will leave.” Of course I was lying. I didn’t plan on leaving without razing the whole thing to the ground.

  “You
r son is...tied up.” A malicious smile graced his face.

  “We know about the tethering. Release him from it.”

  God studied his nails. “I think I won’t.” He stretched langorously. “I kind of like being free.”

  I wanted to punch him. So bad my fingers itched with it.

  “You aren’t free. You’ll never be free as long as you keep chasing power,” Hades said.

  “And what do you plan to do?” God asked. “Olympus hasn’t been in your control in months. Do you really think Hera will give up her temporary control? And the Underworld with no souls? Is there anyone who will respect your power now? There’s nothing there,” he sneered. “I’m untethered because someone else has the power to take over that burden. And I will take your kingdoms and unite them under one rule.”

  I sighed. “Are you finished with your evil villain speech yet?”

  God’s smile tightened. “I will make you beg for your life, Aphrodite.”

  “I don’t care about my life,” I snapped. “I care about you. Dead. Soon.”

  He let out a long, loud laugh and took another puff of his foul cigar. “I think you’re missing the point here. Your son isn’t merely tethered to Heaven. He will be the one who brings me your kingdoms and your pool of immortality. His power is quite unparalleled.” He grinned at me then. “I must thank you for bringing him into my hands.”

  So the pool was his ultimate goal. Unsurprising. Silence fell in the room then. I was frantically wondering how in the world he planned to use my son. Hades’ face was made of stone. I felt him gather his power up.

  A flicker of unease crossed God’s face, but he still kept the grin. “You know you can’t kill me.”

  Hades’ smile, when it crossed his face, was a terrible thing of beauty. “Actually, your tea has been purged. Nasty bit of business that. So I can kill you, but I don’t plan to,” he said. “My wife does.” He lifted God up in the air with barely a lift of his finger. God retaliated by sending a blast of Hellfire directly at him. Hades dodged and I sprang into action. While God was unable to run and focused on my husband, I hauled ass over to him and snapped the necklace holding the tethering spell. His face went chalk white. God sent a percussive blast at me and I flew against the back of the wall. The necklace fell out of my hand and rolled several feet.

  He was able to break Hades’ hold and ran for the necklace. I sent power out through my fingertips to bring the necklace closer, but I was injured. At least two broken ribs. I winced with pain and tried to concentrate. God sent Hellfire at me. I rolled, but pain seared through the leg of my pants. I could not waste magic to heal myself right now. I needed to concentrate on the necklace. God reached down and I screamed in pain as I pulled on my mother’s death magic and sent it barrelling toward him. Icy power slammed into him, throwing him back. I crawled over to the necklace as Hades fired silvery blasts of magic at his father. They ducked, rolled, jumped and dove, both gifted beings and both desperate to win.

  I clutched the necklace in my hand, sent a whisper of thought to my friends and crushed the tether in my fist.

  Absolutely nothing happened.

  One minute I was waiting for the apocalypse, the next disappointment ripped into me. Was Hades mistaken? Was there no conduit for the tether? The first piece of stone dropped from the ceiling. God’s frantic gaze rolled up.

  “Stop! You must stop!” he said desperately.

  I snorted in amusement and winced as my ribs pulled as I stood. “Not a chance.”

  “Hades!”

  Hades rolled Hellfire through his palms. “You heard the lady.”

  A whisper rolled through my head. “We have him.”

  Draco was safe. As I watched, silvery magic began to snake toward God. My brow wrinkled in confusion.

  The first piece curled around God’s ankle. Magic unfurled from the ground, the sides of the wall, and the ceiling.

  “What’s happening?” I asked.

  Hades’ expression grew concerned. “The conduit allowed God to control the magic. With it destroyed, the magic goes to what’s familiar.” He looked up as the ceiling began to fall in earnest. “We have to get out of here. Now.”

  “You cannot leave me! I will be trapped!”

  I looked at him in disbelief. “Are you for real right now?”

  He looked like Rumpelstiltskin being cheated out of a deal. Red in the face and full of rage. “I AM FAMILY!” he screamed.

  I stepped up to him as the threads of magic held him in place and began to drain him. I was no expert, but those vines seemed angry. “You’ve made our lives a living hell. You tortured my husband. You kidnapped my son. You stole years from us. YEARS,” I hissed.

  “The spell can be reversed,” he said. “I can tell you how!”

  “How about I just destroy Heaven? I bet that will reverse it.” I didn’t know if that was true. I couldn’t say I cared. But from the way his gaze flickered with fear, I had a feeling it just might work.

  I stepped away from him. “You have made your bed. You can lie in it.” I shuffled through my pocket and found the little blue pill my mother gave me.

  He took it, confused.

  “A mercy,” I said. “My last and only. When I leave here, your work will be destroyed. You can choose to suffer or you can choose to exit early.” I waved a hand around. “This is deceitful magic. You are no more fit to judge than any of us are.”

  “You cannot destroy Heaven. You have no idea how!”

  “You know what? Over my history, I’ve found a big enough boom almost always does the trick.”

  “Ready to go, love?” I asked Hades.

  He held his arm out and I slid my hand through the crook of it. “I’m sorry I’m about to kill your dad.”

  “I’ve had worse things happen,” Hades said.

  We left Room 125 and didn’t bother to shut the door.

  Several things happened after that. God screamed at us during the entire walk back. Gabriel found Uriel’s body in the corner of the room Draco was in. God had murdered him and instead of sending him to dust, he’d left the body behind for Gabriel to find.

  Always so thoughtful, that guy.

  So it looked like another angel was coming home with us.

  When we got back to the entrance, we had to figure out how to take everything down.

  My son, weary and weak, stepped up. “I’d like to do it,” he said.

  “Draco, I’m not sure it’s within your power.”

  “Mom,” he said with a sigh, “you know nothing about my power.”

  I’d ding him later for his sass, but maybe in this case he was right. I gave Hades a questioning look and he just shrugged.

  I slid the necklace off my neck. “Need some of your grandma’s juice?” I asked him.

  “Couldn’t hurt,” he said.

  I slid the necklace over his head. “Need us to stick around?”

  His throat worked. “No. I can’t wait to tear this place apart.”

  My heart broke a little bit for him. “Okay, Draco.” We all stepped through the broken door and waited.

  The screaming started less than five seconds later.

  31

  We all came to in a massive patch of grass. Cool air scented with jasmine floated over our skin. I was the first to sit up and try to figure out where we were.

  Hades woke when he heard my inhaled screech of delight.

  We were in Asheville.

  As in North Carolina.

  All of us were alive.

  And my house. MY FREAKING HOUSE WAS STANDING AND NOT A WRECK OF RUBBLE.

  “What the hell?” I breathed as I looked around. But I immediately noticed something missing. “Where’s Draco?”

  I came to my knees and forced myself to stand.

  Hades was staring at me with this mix of confusion and awe.

  “Draco?” I called out. No one answered. “Draco?” I called even louder.

  Nothing.

  “Hades? Where is he?”

 
His throat worked and tears sprang to his eyes.

  A gust of wind blew my hair back.

  Clotho stood in front of me. She was still glowing with all that extra mojo.

  “Look down,” she said.

  “What?” I was confused as hell. “Where is my son?” I asked, panic rising in my voice.

  “Look down,” she said again.

  “Clotho! Stop being weird!”

  Lachesis and Atropos appeared behind her. As one they said, “Look down.”

  Now I was getting really pissed off. “My son is not on the ground!”

  I looked back at Hades as if to say can you believe these chicks? He was still staring in that weird, slightly off-kilter way, but this time he was looking at my chest. Or something.

  I looked down.

  “WHY THE EVER LOVING FUCK AM I PREGNANT AGAIN?”

  Epilogue

  Artie

  Things were very, very weird for awhile. Heaven sort of collapsed in on itself and all the humans could see was this weird geometric shape in the sky until suddenly one day it disappeared. With it came the uprise in weird cults and new religions. So that part was a little normal, I guessed, but things were...different. Humans were different.

  As if they knew something odd had happened. Churches started to close down and in their places shrines grew.

  Shrines of a woman who looked suspiciously like my best friend. She would get a kick out of that. I suspected it would also really creep her out.

  I had accepted my new lot in life. My immortality wasn’t completely gone, but it was faded enough that I would require an escort into the lands of the immortals.

  But that was okay. Abby popped by frequently and, for some weird reason, Typhon had been coming by too. It wasn’t like him, but every time I mentioned it to Abby, she got this weird look on her face like I’d fed her sour candy, so I dropped it.

  He could play a mean game of cards, though, and he brought my favorite wine. I’d pry more into the reasons why later. For now, I was busy with my investigative agency. You would not believe how much mischief pets got into in Asheville. It seemed out of the norm for sure, so I was also looking into that. My animal magic had not faded. I could still communicate with them as well as ever, but they were a little shyer to come to me now. I thought it was because I smelled a little more human than I used to.