Learning the Hard Way 3

by H. P. Caledon

  “I actually have a question.” Keelan stopped at the end of the table. The varanuides looked at Keelan, but most of their focus remained on Misery and her unspoken needs. “How do you tell the difference between feelings? I mean, you smell them, right?”

  “Yes.” Koolmok glanced at Misery.

  “What?” she asked.

  Keelan smiled at her to show her his support, too.

  “Minute chemical changes in the body’s hormones make for different scent factors. We have known humans and been around you for many generations. We have learned to differentiate and read what the different compositions mean. Like the difference between coffee and tea, so it is with the difference between happiness and sorrow.”

  “I see,” Keelan said, nodding.

  “We smell your reluctance and discontentment at leaving your daughter, too,” Saleek’s ada said. Keelan looked at Misery. Her façade crumbled and she stubbornly looked away.

  “I know you have to leave, and that I can’t come.”

  “Doesn’t mean you have to love the idea. I don’t.”

  “And what about all the things I have to learn?” She looked at him again, still with her arms crossed defensively in front of her.

  “Listen.” Keelan crouched next to her. “There are very few people I trust, but Mike is one of them. This pack, too. And Mike’s a good teacher, trust me.”

  “What does she have to learn?” Saleek asked.

  “All sorts of things,” Misery mumbled.

  “Normal school stuff. Reading, grammar, math... stuff,” Keelan said, getting a glare from his daughter. “Would you help her with that, Saleek?”

  “Yes!” Saleek looked proud he’d been asked. “It’s gonna be fun learning all that together.” The child put an arm around Misery, but withdrew hesitantly, looking to his ada with a hurt expression. The innocent and well-meaning youngling probably didn’t have experience with someone as independent as Misery.

  Keelan took Misery’s hand and stroked the back of it. He loved the feeling of her soft skin and tried to memorize the feel. The thought that he might not come back settled harder in the pit of his stomach. It hadn’t registered like that during the planning. He withdrew his hands so as not to sink further into the feeling of dismay, afraid it would just trigger something in him and make him skip the plan and try anything else. But if Danny could do some of what the others in the notes could, then he was their best hope. And he had promised to come and get him if he found a way out.

  Mike entered and slapped Keelan’s shoulder. “You’re not on a break.” Mike looked around and finally seemed to catch the mood of the room. “Sorry, forget I was here.” Mike took Keelan’s bag and carried it to the cargo hold.

  Keelan looked at Misery and tried for a smile.

  “Do you need help with packing?” she finally asked.

  “I’d like that.”

  She sighed, got up, and went into his room, but he’d already been through that, so he shook his head, smiling.

  “We need to find stuff in the cargo hold,” Keelan said, following her.

  She met him at the door. “Honest talk here. Do you even believe this plan is gonna work?”

  “Yes. I believe we have a very good chance. And if they catch me, Mike knows what has to be done.”

  She nodded and looked down. Keelan was about to turn to leave when she moved in for a fierce hug. “You will be coming back!” Then she let go and took off, leaving Keelan recovered from how commanding she sounded. Just like her mother. The thought of Alice’s strength and that Misery had inherited it gave him some sense of peace.

  Keelan spent the six long weeks to Irgang rehearsing his role as a freight captain who’d never transferred a max con to another max before. He tried to remember what he’d found new about the place when he’d gotten there and made up comments that would make his character seem credible as a first-time visitor in Irgang.

  He also spent time learning about politics, which he did by training his self-discipline. Remembering all that stuff was something different entirely, and he tried to make the new knowledge stick by writing little articles and questions for Misery. He gave up when he came to a treaty about freight and commerce routes, because the level was far above him. Either that or they just wrote it in a way no one could understand so no one could figure out whether or not they were being cheated or not.

  Could work. What person in a suit would admit themselves too stupid to get it? They’d just sign it and look like they were among the smart kids. Keelan still read the damn thing just to not give up and saw the five and a half hours it took as an exercise instead of an attempt to actually gather information.

  News feeds categorized under the different politicians were fruitful, though, and he remembered many of their names and where they were from, what System they represented, and what side of the fence they were on. So far, the freight and commerce debate had split the Senate in two, and Keelan really wanted to smack the Balatana Governor, Ben Richards, because the guy viewed Verion Four as an expendable dump that he’d almost be happy to see buried and forgotten.

  Keelan wondered if he felt loyalty to his home planet even though he’d always tried to escape it, or whether it was merely the pig eyes, smug smile, and expensive suit that made him hate the guy. Of course, it all made the guy look authoritarian, and Keelan had a problem with those kinds anyway.

  With rising irritation about not getting a winking star’s worth from reading the treaty, Keelan finally left his political studies and entered Koolmok’s room. He’d been reading a book when they reached Silliton, and now he could finish it. He’d forgotten most of it, so he started over.

  To his delight, he discovered that Koolmok had bought more books in a language Keelan understood, but most were digital. He found it odd that he actually missed the feel and smell of Mike’s ratty fiber versions. But he got over it, happy there was a new selection so he didn’t have to re-read the ones he’d read during his chosen isolation because he couldn’t be around the pack.

  So much had changed since then.

  * * * *

  Standing in the middle of the training room of their ship, Mike swung his arms to cool down his muscles. Misery crawled across the floor before collapsing in a puddle of her own sweat.

  “Why. Are you. Not. Dying?” she managed between deep gasps of air.

  Mike laughed. “Because I’m in a better shape than you are.”

  Misery popped the lid on a flask of water and drank greedily. “How far can my dad run?”

  “Farther than me, I think. He’s a bit strange when it comes to physical stamina. I guess if he learned to run with always having to look over his shoulder at the same time that would be a good reason. I just had to run until the CO said stop.”

  “How far do you think Dad is now?” Misery’s body language deflated somewhat. She hadn’t talked a lot about him the past six weeks, but that didn’t worry Mike. In some ways, she was so much like Keelan. But it still pleased Mike that she opened up enough to let him see how she felt.

  Mike went to sit next to her. “He should be around Irgang now.”

  “I hate that we can’t call him,” she mumbled and wrung her towel.

  “Yeah, but as long as we’re drifting as a ghost ship, we can’t have any signals going in or out.”

  “I still miss him,” she said, sighing.

  “Yeah,” Mike mumbled, wondering what would happen if Keelan didn’t come back. He didn’t dare entertain the thought, though, and forced himself to think of something else. Like cheering her up, but all his brain had to offer were platitudes, and Misery was too much of a realist for any of those to work. Considering her upbringing, she would probably take offense instead, so Mike kept them to himself.

  “I’m gonna crawl upstairs and take a shower. If I can get my limbs to move,” she grunted and flopped over onto her belly. Mike laughed and helped haul her up.

  Saleek was reading a book out loud in the common room—his ada and Koolmok listen
ing.

  Mike joined them while Misery showered. He loved being around a pack. He felt safe and hoped Misery did, too. She deserved it. He just hoped Keelan was successful, and that Danny really could do all the things he was in prison for so maybe one day Misery could always feel safe.

  He was allowed to hope.

  Chapter Six

  From the in-flight route, Irgang looked like a confusion of square buildings, all connected by hallways. Years before, he’d run around in there trying to get out. He found it surreal that he was willingly trying to get back in. Well, willingly was probably not the right word, and he was sitting there in a different form than his own. He just hoped Danny really was good enough to help them. Even if he wasn’t, Keelan wouldn’t be sorry he got him out of there. He just hoped the young man wouldn’t try to have sex with him all the time.

  The details of Danny’s ferocious sexual appetite had completely skipped Keelan’s mind until then. With his thoughts on that subject came the memory of the kiss he’d given Daniel when he left the cell.

  The thought made him smile, but he was interrupted by a beeping sound. And it hit him—he was really going back in there. Answering the incoming call, he went through the landing procedures and was directed to the hangars. The top of bay three opened, and he lowered the ship, performing a landing that he thought even Mike would praise him for.

  The roof of the hangar closed again, and as the view of the sky became smaller, Keelan’s nervousness grew. He tried to shake the claustrophobic feeling while powering down the ship and taking in the layout. He found himself in a pretty small enclosure. There wasn’t a lot of room for much more than the ship.

  “Come on, man,” he groused as he tried to stand on legs more limp and shaky than he felt comfortable with. The uncooperative legs did carry him down the stairs to the cargo hold, and he opened the ramp, breathing in the air, greedily.

  At the end of the ramp stood two guards, who smiled. Keelan had not expected that, and for a second he had no idea how they expected him to react. He ended up flashing a grimace of a smile and a nervous glance. One guard seemed amused by it and waved him down the ramp.

  Without having to perform any kind of acting, Keelan descended the ramp and looked around curiously. It was nothing like he’d thought it would be from having been taken through blindfolded.

  “Never seen a dock like this before,” he said because it had looked huge from the outside with four numbers. Each hanger had four bays, but by the looks of the walls, it was apparently possible to merge two bays to make room for bigger ships.

  “No, we’ve looked over the transferred information. You’ve only been in medium and low-security prisons,” the guard said. “We need fingerprint and retina scans to finish your registration with us.”

  “Yeah, sure.” Keelan gave them what they wanted while wondering about his newfound trust in authorities. It was Lewis who’d given him these IDs, after all.

  “We’ll log you with your freighter license, so you won’t have to go through this again.”

  “Yeah, it’s different from prison to prison.”

  “We had a security breach, so a change of protocols. Wait here, I’ll just make a call.” One guard left. Keelan’s nausea grew. They had no way of finding out that he was actually the breach that had made for these new protocols, but what if they saw through the id? Or found some small detail incriminating enough to make him a glitch? Would they lock him up and run all the registers? Call the shipper?

  “May I inspect your ship?” the other guard asked.

  “Sorry? Oh... ”

  “Visual confirmation that you are in fact a freighter between the Frontiers.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Keelan nodded and tried to remember what items were here or there, and he was thankful the cargo hold was bursting with produce.

  The guard entered, and Keelan followed, contemplating the strength of the hull of the dock. Not that it mattered, because the varanuides’ ship had almost no guns on the hull, and it certainly wasn’t strong enough to punch a hole in the dock if he flew into it. And he couldn’t kill all the guards when he wasn’t armed with anything more dangerous than a key card.

  “A melon!” the guard exclaimed.

  “I do come directly from the Frontiers,” Keelan said.

  “Aren’t these a varanuide’s?”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “Is he onboard?”

  “No, I flew with two. One’s ada died, and they had to go home for a while.” What am I saying? There’s nothing to back up that lie!

  “They’re not on the list.” The guard looked at the registration on his pad.

  “No, it was a hop. They left those in the cleaning cabinet.”

  The guard looked at Keelan with unmasked skepticism, but the other guard returned and waved them with him. Keelan’s palms grew sweaty, and he wiped them in his pants, hoping these guys would hurry up the procedure. Even the borrowed figure was fighting his hold on it.

  “This way,” the returning guard said, and they led Keelan down a long hallway to the large room with inclusion cells. Keelan even recognized the one he’d been in. If he’d gotten that far, then they probably hadn’t noticed he was an imposter. He hoped.

  “Could I buy that melon from you?” the guard who had inspected the ship whispered.

  “It was meant for a youth ceremony,” Keelan said.

  “Darn,” the guard mumbled.

  “But with this transfer, it doesn’t look like I’ll be able to make it anyway, so... sure, why not.”

  The guard broke into a huge smile and swallowed a few times audibly—his mouth watering already.

  Two other guards pulled the unconscious Danny from a cell and gingerly laid him on a transport gurney. Keelan was happy to see how careful the guards were with him.

  “Are the prisoners in such tiny cells?” Keelan asked.

  He was met by amused glances and laughter. The melon-loving guard explained the inclusion and exclusion procedures.

  “Oh, nifty,” Keelan said. “Uhm... what about when I deliver him?”

  “You’ve never transferred a cryo prisoner before?”

  “Yes, but not with an insert.”

  “Wake him just before your in-flight, that way he’ll still be groggy and not able to put up much of a fight. They might have an insert you can swap. It’s actually nice to have prisoners transferred by you guys and not bounty hunters or mercenaries. They’re so cocky and don’t always take precaution, so it’s good that you ask.”

  Keelan smiled a bit awkwardly at what could be considered a compliment.

  “Do you want us to help put him under?”

  “Yes, very much, please.” Keelan followed the guards and Danny back to the ship. There, the guards helped put Danny in the cryo-coffin while Keelan checked the flasks and gauges.

  “Now, if you’ll just press your thumb here, then the convict is under your care.”

  “Okay.” Keelan pressed his finger on the screen. He just hoped the guards would hurry out so he could get the hell out of there.

  A guard cleared his throat and glanced in the direction of the melon.

  “Oh, yes, I almost forgot.” Keelan collected the melon and handed to the guard, who gave him fifty credits for it and left the ship.

  Keelan closed the ramp and exhaled heavily from relief. He felt dizzy, but at least the lump in his throat was loosening up. He glanced at Danny’s sleeping figure before running to the cockpit. Now he only hoped it wouldn’t take too long to get out of there, because the borrowed figure was getting really tiresome to hold and demanded focus, but he still needed the figure’s vocal pitch.

  It seemed to take forever as he sat in the pilot seat and stared at the hanger doors above, waiting for them to slide aside and give him access to freedom. He waited long enough to get the nagging feeling that they’d become suspicious.

  “Your departure is now approved. Have a nice flight.”

  In as measured a tempo as he could muster, Keelan raised
the freighter up through the growing hole in the roof of the bay and flew away from Irgang with his cargo blissfully ignorant.

  Keelan chuckled as he changed back to his own figure, but he quickly learned that he and the borrowed figure did not share the same size in clothes. With a pained grunt, he unbuckled his harness and opened his pants so he could pull the tight seam of the pants out of his groin. He pulled a face when he heard a seam stretch but sighed in relief when it was just the ones around his thighs giving way. At least he no longer had a testicle squeezed on either side of the one in his crotch.

  Entertained by Koolmok’s new collection of books, good food, and movies, the six weeks didn’t feel as long as the trip there had. Keelan also kept his eyes on the news to see if he’d been discovered, but nothing indicated it to be the case.

  After having been in the constant company of Alice, Mike, and Misery, he found it difficult to be alone. Restlessness and boredom set in the first week on his way back—probably because he no longer had the infiltration of Irgang on his mind to keep it occupied. Feeling lonely was new to him, and he wondered if he should be happy about the development in himself or view it as a weakness.

  I’ll probably never shake the prison mentality.

  * * * *

  Misery kept herself busy with everything from cleaning to training and odd little time-consuming tasks with no purpose. She had for days, because Keelan was supposed to be back soon and time seemed to crawl by.

  Since the planned time for Keelan to reach Irgang, Misery had listened to the news feed all day, afraid she’d hear news that he’d been caught. She hadn’t confided in anyone when the news mentioned Irgang two weeks earlier, and she’d felt so lost and scared until the context revealed it being about something entirely different than Keelan’s trip there. But that feeling of dread had settled in her and kept her awake at night with worry. And when she finally fell asleep, she would have nightmares. She’d stand by a hole in the ground covered by a heavy duty grid, and Keelan would sit at the bottom, dirty and cold. Guards would walk over the grid and toss bread down there or pour cold water over him.