Natasha's Diary

by Heather Greenis

  “And the company?”

  Hope grimaced. Disappointed, Stewart thought Henry was a pleasant young man. Hope looked into the parlour.

  “I’m tired,” she admitted. “I shall retire to my room. Goodnight.”

  Stewart leaned forward and kissed his daughter on her cheek. “We shall speak tomorrow. I love you, Hope.”

  “I love you, Poppa.”

  Hope ascended the staircase before Stewart returned to the card game.

  “You possess a remarkable relationship with your daughter,” Izabella acknowledged as he took his seat.

  “I cherish the rapport we share.” He picked up his cards. “Shall we continue?”

  When their second game ended, Stewart collected the cards and removed his pocket watch. It’s far too late for Izabella to travel alone.

  “Allow me to escort you home. I shall ride with you in your buggy.” He turned his attention to his brother-in-law as Izabella placed a shawl over her blouse. “Would you care to follow behind? We shall leave Brodie with Vicki and Hope.”

  The conversation between Stewart and Izabella flowed with ease during their journey to her home. Other than being with Natasha, he couldn’t recall being as comfortable in a woman’s company. She wasn’t as handsome as Jane, but possessed warm attributes. There was something very appealing about her. She made for a wonderful guest and possessed a delightful sense of humour, but the very thought of asking Izabella to accompany him to dinner made his heart pound. He slowed her horses as they approached the house. Izabella was speaking, but his mind was elsewhere.

  “I’d be honoured if you would agree to dine with me.” Stewart heard the words come out of his mouth. He knew it was his voice but was shocked he had vocalized the invitation.

  “I appreciate the offer, but it’s not necessary,” she replied very casually.

  Taken aback by the response, the wording, it would bother him if he didn’t inquire. “Necessary?”

  “Please, don’t feel obligated to take me to dinner. I regret discussing my feelings with your sister, having spoken in confidence.” By her tone she was frustrated and upset with his sister. “Had I known she would speak with you, I would have remained silent on the topic.”

  Her response didn’t clarify anything. Being a blunt man, he would have appreciated a blunt answer. “Excuse my ignorance, but I must ask. You used the terms necessary and obligated when ‘No, thank you’ would have been sufficient. I’m not an arrogant being, believing all women wish to be in my company.”

  “Nay.” Izabella winced. “You have misunderstood my meaning.” She covered her mouth with her hands, and took a deep breath. She lowered her hands to respond. “I’m disappointed in your sister, knowing she spoke of our conversation about my struggle to move on with my life since my husband’s passing. You may admit she suggested we dine to lift my spirits.”

  Stewart was surprised by his sister’s restraint. She hadn’t spoken of Izabella in his company. He hadn’t been privy to their private conversations.

  “Vicki hasn’t broken your confidence,” he informed her in a serious tone. “I find myself looking forward to your companionship, and your sense of humour. I would like the opportunity to become better acquainted, but I will accept your refusal. Although I’m disappointed, I’ll remain silent on the topic. It shall be our little secret,” he whispered. “Please don’t allow this to affect your friendship with my sister.”

  Izabella began to laugh, placing her hands over her face.

  “Think before you speak, Izabella. I doubt I shall ever learn. I must appear a fool.”

  Is she accepting? “Not at all. You possess beautiful eyes, a warm, sincere smile, and a contagious laugh. Any man would welcome the opportunity to spend time in your company.”

  She gave a slight smile. “If you’re still agreeable, I’d be pleased to accept your invitation. I’ll attempt to refrain from embarrassing myself yet again.”

  Containing his enthusiasm, Stewart assisted her from the buggy and walked to the entrance of her home. She unlocked the door. After promising to send a telegram, he joined Greg on their buggy. Greg had settled Izabella’s horse and buggy while Stewart said his farewells. He never uttered a word about his conversation with Izabella, and appreciated Greg’s silence. Mulling the evening in his mind, the prospect of allowing anyone into his heart terrified him.

  With Greg offering to take Brodie out for her nightly walk, Stewart continued up the steps and into his bedroom. He closed the door, sat on his bed, and picked up the picture of Natasha. “I heard my voice. What possessed me to ask Izabella to dine? Speak with me, Natasha. Are you pleased, or have I made a grave error? I have always valued your opinion.” Stewart wrote a long journal entry before preparing for bed. Once under the covers, his mind wandered. Closing his eyes, he was able to see Natasha smiling at him. Natasha was pleased. He had her approval.

  * * *

  “This isn’t another Jane, is it?” Keeghan questioned. “Stewart deserves a bit of happiness.”

  “My God. I can’t imagine going that long without—” Will cut himself off with a furtive look toward Alexander.

  “Knowing your previous arrangement with Julianne, I don’t suppose you could.” Keeghan snickered.

  Ignoring them, Alexander directed their attention back to the screen.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Stewart made dining arrangements and informed his family he wouldn’t be joining them for the evening meal. Not wanting his parents, Vicki, or Hope to get their hopes up at the prospect of a potential romance, he never uttered a word about his plans. Izabella hadn’t accepted his invitation with eager enthusiasm.

  He wasn’t confident either he or Izabella were emotionally prepared for a relationship. Hope assumed he had a rare business meeting. Stewart had reservations at the best restaurant in the city. While Stewart had not been there, both Greg and Vicki raved about the meal and ambiance the night Greg proposed to his sister.

  Saturday afternoon, Stewart changed into his Sunday suit and steered his horses toward Izabella’s house. His heart pounded uncontrollably as he listened to the sound of their hooves. Leaving the buggy at the gate, he walked to the entrance of Izabella’s home and knocked. Staring into the sky, he sent up a silent prayer, hoping the evening would be at the very least enjoyable. When the door opened, Izabella greeted him in a long pink strapless gown. A lacy shawl was draped at her shoulders. Izabella fidgeted with her hair, playing with the curling strands around her face. It was apparent she was equally nervous. As she locked the door, Stewart noticed her left hand. Her wedding ring was gone. He knew it was on her finger the evening he asked her out. Thinking back, he had removed his own wedding band the evening he dined with Jane. That moment was vivid in his mind. A big step. One without regret, but, emotionally, a difficult step.

  “I appreciate the gesture,” he acknowledged as he pointed at her hand. “I know it’s difficult to let go. I only recently removed my own wedding band.”

  “Chin up and stand proudly, as my brother reminds me. I must step out of the past and live in the present, welcome the future.”

  “Indeed. Shall we?”

  Stewart led Izabella into the Wedgwood Restaurant, where they were shown to their reserved table. They discussed their personal lives in detail. Stewart spoke proudly of his daughter, and then of his education and the company he owned.

  “Stewart Donovan. How foolish of me. My husband hired your firm. You renovated and put an addition on the building he owns. I manage the woman’s boutique, Valentines. It has been my salvation since his death.”

  Stewart’s mind raced back to the contract, recalling the time he worked for a man he admired. It was the contract that established him and his company. “Charles Herrmann was your husband,” Stewart stated incredulously. “Of course. You pronounce the name differently. I didn’t make the connection.”

  “I have tried but cannot get my tongue around that,” she groaned. “I find my surname impossible to pronounce cor
rectly. When we became engaged, I informed Charles it would save embarrassment if he would take my surname.” When she smirked, Stewart couldn’t help but chuckle. “Charles laughed, of course.”

  His mind travelled back. “I don’t recall meeting you at the funeral service.”

  “I didn’t feel the need to meet business associates.”

  Izabella spoke fondly of her relationship with her late husband. Meeting in her late teens, they were engaged within three months and married within six months. They were two months from celebrating their fifteenth anniversary when he passed. Stewart did the math in his head. She is a year my junior. Although Izabella never worked by her husband’s side, she was aware of his dreams and plans. Since his death, she had remained dedicated to his memory, ensuring his passion for life and work continued within his company.

  “A manager oversees his business, but major decisions require my approval.”

  “I can’t imagine watching the person you love lay in bed dying, but I find myself envious of your ability to say goodbye,” Stewart responded. “No regrets.” He stared at the food on his plate, speaking from his heart. “Natasha loved me, and knew I loved her, but I lost my wife, and Hope lost her momma, over pride. Her parents’ stubborn, foolish pride. I will never forgive them.” Looking toward Izabella, he regretted his comment. It was their first night together. It was inappropriate to verbalize such negative emotions. “My apologies. I shouldn’t be speaking of this.”

  “Apologies are not necessary. It is obvious you’re still in love with your wife.”

  “Indeed, I am.” Stewart went on to discuss his life since Natasha’s passing—his close relationship with his parents, and the bond he and his sister continue to share.

  “I can’t imagine raising my daughter on my own,” he continued. “I feel Natasha’s approval in my heart, but it would have been difficult without Momma and Vicki as I continued my education and established a business.”

  “Charles is looking down, smiling. When he spoke your name, it was with praise. He was impressed by your talent and company’s workmanship. He’ll be pleased we’re becoming friends.”

  “I admired your husband and his vision for his company. I’m not in the habit of conversing with my employer once I begin a project, but Charles was the exception.”

  Their conversation continued. Izabella’s attributes amazed him. He found her similar to Natasha in some ways, but also, quite the opposite to his deceased wife. She could be silly and jovial, but she was also a sophisticated business woman. With the quartet playing in the background, Stewart pushed his chair from the table, stood, and extended his hand.

  “Would you care to dance with me?”

  On the floor, he held her in his arms, closed his eyes, and appreciated the moment.

  The last couple to leave the restaurant, Stewart didn’t want the evening to end. He assisted her into the buggy, and taking advantage of the bright half-moon and starlit sky, took a leisurely drive through the countryside on the way home. Arriving at the house, Izabella unlocked her door, reached for her lantern, and lit it.

  “Would you care for a drink? A glass of wine, or perhaps a brandy?”

  Tempted, Stewart pulled out his watch and looked at the time. It was in the early hours of the morning.

  “I’m tempted, but shall decline this evening, with the hopes of seeing with you again.”

  “I shall look forward to it. Thank you for a lovely evening. Goodnight, Stewart.”

  As expected, the doors at home were locked. He reached into his trousers pocket. It was empty. Desperate, he began searching all his pockets. Furious with himself for leaving the house without his key, he tapped on the front door.

  Woof! Woof, woof, woof.

  “Brodie. The entire household will be startled awake.” Looking through the window in the door, Brodie charged down the steps, barking wildly. Greg followed behind wearing his bed attire. From his ruffled hair, and the slight crease on his cheek, he’d been sleeping. Greg’s laughter teased him as the door opened. Stewart hung his head in embarrassment.

  “Assistance would have been appreciated,” Stewart whispered as he looked into the dog’s eyes and petted her head. “Walk quietly down the steps, open the door, and allow me to sneak in without so much as a whimper. The barking is uncalled for when your master is at the door.”

  “He’s asking the impossible, Brodie,” Greg responded, still chuckling. “You lack a thumb to unlock the door.”

  “I’m embarrassed, and you find this comical,” Stewart groaned, looking at Greg. “I’m warning you. If you were to mention this at work, I shall ask your boss to fire you,” he teased.

  Greg’s laughter intensified. Hope is a sound sleeper, but Vicki will surely be awake, hearing this as she lies in bed.

  “I’m confident that won’t happen. I have connections with the boss’s family. All of whom would question his decision.” His voice softened to a whisper. “You were preoccupied this afternoon at work. I’ll assume by the hour you had a wonderful evening with Izabella.”

  Stewart glared at the floor. Greg, you are far too intuitive for his own good. This was not a discussion he wished to have. It had been a wonderful evening, but he wanted it to remain private. Stewart raised his eyebrows and then smiled before walking past Greg and up the staircase. Brodie raced by and rushed into Hope’s room, settling beside her bed.

  “Poppa?”

  The barking woke her. “My apologies. I love you, Hope.”

  He heard the door to his sister’s room click shut. Stewart closed Hope’s door and entered his own room. Sitting on his bed, he picked up the picture of Natasha and stared into her eyes. “You’re an intelligent woman, my love. Initially, I didn’t see her beauty, but Izabella possesses an inner glow that shines brightly. By the end of our evening, I found her features exquisite, almost comparable to yours. Somehow, in my heart, I believe you and Charles became acquainted as you watched us. Help us open our hearts.” Opening his journal, he stared at the empty page, envious of Natasha’s ability to write the emotions of a new relationship. Putting pen to paper, the words began appearing.

  He put his journal away finally and crawled into bed. He had a wonderful dream.

  The next morning, dressed for church, Stewart walked into the kitchen with Greg a few steps behind. He poured two cups of coffee, handing one to his brother-in-law, and entered the dining area.

  “How was your evening, Poppa?”

  He was about to respond when Hope’s jaw dropped. Both she and Vicki began to smile, their eyes sparkling so brightly they could light a room.

  “What?” he questioned.

  “Poppa. You entertained Izabella?”

  Stewart turned and glared at Greg. Obviously, he had mouthed Izabella’s name to them. “Is it not possible to keep a secret?”

  “Nay. Not when the information will please the women in our home.” Greg kissed Hope’s cheek and walked to his chair at the end of the table.

  “Your eyes are twinkling, Poppa. I don’t recall seeing a twinkle while you courted Jane.”

  It was impossible to hide the sparkle. He instinctively closed his eyes. He enjoyed his time with Izabella more than he thought possible. Apparently a vision of Izabella was enough to bring a twinkle to his eye. He reopened his eyes to see Hope grinning.

  “You fell in love with Momma the day you met, and Aunt Vicki and Nana have spoken of falling in love quickly. Are you in love?”

  “This is not comparable, Hope,” he responded in a serious tone. He sat down. “A first love is much easier. Izabella’s heart still grieves for her husband as mine grieves for your momma. We must develop a friendship.”

  “I’m so pleased,” she squealed with excitement.

  “As am I,” he admitted. “Eat your breakfast. You must change for church.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  On Monday morning the men were at work and Hope at school. Still in her dressing gown, Vicki was tidying the kitchen.

  Woof. Woo
f, woof.

  Brodie ran toward the front door. Following their dog, she looked out the parlour window. Izabella stepped down from her buggy. Vicki opened the door and waited for Izabella to enter.

  “You must give me a minute to change into something more presentable and then join me for coffee.” Vicki raced up the steps to change.

  Only slightly out of breath, Vicki joined her guest in the kitchen. She poured mugs of coffee and took her seat across from her friend. Izabella set a key on the table.

  “Stewart must have dropped this Saturday night while saying goodnight. I want to ensure he receives it.”

  “I must ask, when did you decide to ask my brother to dinner? During all our conversations, you never mentioned your intent.”

  “I didn’t ask Stewart,” Izabella blurted in defence.” She set her coffee cup on the table with a sight thud. “I would never jeopardize our friendship in such a way. Stewart is your brother.”

  “So it was his idea?” Vicki questioned.

  “I believe I’ve been insulted. I’m not as handsome as others, but I’m able to hold my own in conversation with him.”

  Vicki lowered her head in shame. “I’m sorry if I offended you. It was not my intent. Allow me the opportunity to share something with you. To my knowledge, Stewart has not had a serious relationship since his wife passed eleven years ago. I have begged him many times to open his heart, but you are the first woman he has taken the initiative with and asked to dine with the intent to perhaps pursue something serious.”

  Izabella’s eyes widened. Her jaw dropped. The revelation rendered her speechless for a moment. “Stewart is a handsome man. I naturally assumed he courted regularly.”

  “Nay, but it’s obvious my brother is developing feelings for you. Stewart is fighting an internal battle. Hope has been, and will always be, of the utmost importance in his life. A piece of his heart belongs to Natasha, and Hope is the result of that love. He won’t allow anything on this earth to interfere with their relationship.”