First Choice, Second Chance

by Lynn Rae

  With a shadow of nostalgia, he tried on his old class ring to find it still fit. He hadn’t worn it since going to college and not much before since he’d given it to Karen the day after he’d gotten it. She’d wrapped yarn around the shank to make it fit and worn it every day, just as she had the engagement and wedding rings that followed.

  With a sigh, he pulled it off and dropped it in the dish he used for paper clips. He waited for the usual melancholy feeling to creep up on him but it never arrived. Instead, he checked his e-mail. Nothing from Emily. What did he expect? She was busy at work and didn’t have time to keep him amused. Or reassured. Once again he tamped down his feelings of uncertainty. He was risking so much, feeling so much on such short acquaintance that he knew he’d do well to ease back and approach their situation with caution. As good as that advice was, he was finding it difficult to apply. He didn’t want to ease back. He wanted Emily with the same enthusiasm she’d shown him. Despite being quiet and humble, she’d bowled him over with her bravery. She’d been bold enough to say yes to him, to ask him first and risk rejection.

  He picked up his class ring again. He felt like giving it to her, a joking method of declaring they were together, a couple. How would she react to that? With kindness and acceptance, of course, because that’s how she was made, but what would she think of the meaning behind the gesture? Did she want to be more than his lover?

  Chapter 10

  “We’ll just stop by and say hello, and then go to your friend’s party.” Paul’s hand squeezed hers as he drove along a quiet residential street on the north side of Palmer. Emily nodded once and kept her eyes ahead. Nervous anticipation battled dread in her belly as they approached Shelly and Mike house for a pre-Beggar’s night gathering. It seemed a grandchild was going to be wearing his or her first costume and all the adults were there to celebrate. Paul had been willing to skip it if she felt too uncomfortable, but the last thing she wanted to do was to further separate him from his family. She’d be quiet and polite and try not to look like she was counting the minutes until they could leave.

  They pulled into a circular drive nearly filled with other vehicles and got out to approach a large brick home with many steeply pitched mansard rooflines. Lights were on and there was filmy cobweb floss stretched over the neatly trimmed hedges around the door. A black plastic cauldron filled with orange-and-green lights was flanked by several faux pumpkins, all perched on top of a manicured bale of straw. It was the most tidy-looking fall display she’d ever seen.

  Paul knocked and gave her a smile before the door opened and a jovial Mike appeared with a handful of candy. He seemed as good-humored as she remembered from the parade and the park. He greeted them both and beckoned them to enter. The home was as impressive as she would have expected from a successful realtor and a city leader, tall ceilings, dark hardwood floors, perfectly matched furniture and accessories. A neatly wrapped mummy reclined on a tabletop and there was a large basket of candy already waiting by the front door.

  The noise of people talking and laughing drew them to a large kitchen where many people were gathered around an enormous center island. Most turned when they entered, and Emily tried not to flinch under the scrutiny. Paul shook hands and greeted people all while introducing her and she smiled and nodded by his side, anxiety at their first public outing making her hands clammy and her knees shaky.

  Shelly pushed a large tray of cold cuts onto the counter next to a stack of rustic ivory plates and limped around to hug Paul. She turned her assessing gaze on Emily next.

  “Emily, welcome. We have drinks on the counter, or I can get you a glass of wine.”

  It was as approving a greeting as she’d ever hoped to get, so a few of her nerves dissipated as Shelly indicated a rustic ceramic tub filled with ice and bottles. “Wine would be great.”

  Her boss glanced back at Paul as he slid his hand against the small of Emily’s back. “I’ll have water; I’m driving.”

  Shelly nodded and went back to the refrigerator to get the requested drink. Emily tucked herself closer to Paul’s side as a couple of men engaged him in conversation about problems with the production line at a local automotive-part manufacturer. His fingertips rubbed little circles against her and she found she was soon hot and blushing since those motions were identical to how he stroked her to climax. Glancing up at him to gauge if he knew the effect he was having on her, he quirked a knowing smile and she was tempted to tickle his ribs. She settled in to the gathering with a better frame of mind, smiling and nodding when necessary, accepting her wine from Shelly and a plate of cheese and crackers from Paul.

  “Why, it’s Emily and Paul!” a woman’s pleased voice rang out, and she turned to find Linda Good, Angie’s friend and fellow Sugar Beet Festival volunteer, staring at them with a big grin. Her blue eyes twinkled, and Emily’s heart sank. Angie hadn’t wasted any time informing all near and far about their new romance. “I was wondering if I’d see you here. Together.”

  “Linda, good to see you.” Paul greeted her with a nod, one hand grasping his glass of water, the other still protectively at Emily’s back. The older woman didn’t miss the touch, and she deliberately took a long look and then raised her eyes.

  “I don’t think I’ve seen you since the class reunion this summer. Paul and I were in the same grade all through school. Thirteen years together, starting way back in, what was it, 1969?” Linda said with an innocent air. “Goodness, I feel like an old lady when I say that.”

  Emily swallowed hard. The other woman’s little observation was like a smack to the face. She had no idea how to respond, but luckily Paul was up to the challenge.

  “You don’t look like an old lady, Linda. The Sugar Beet Festival was a big success this year. We especially like the parade, didn’t we, Emily?” He gave her a squeeze, and she smiled up at him, grateful for his thoughtfulness. Just remembering how he’d walked right through the crowd to find her that day made her warm.

  “Oh, you were, ah, together then? I have no idea why I assumed this was a very sudden thing.” Linda seemed to still be in the mood to goad, and Emily glanced around, wondering if there was someone she knew to beckon over and provide a distraction from the inquisition.

  “Not so sudden. You know me; I’m very careful and plan everything. It’s the engineer in me.” Paul punctuated this statement by pressing against her back, and she was reminded of when she’d had an engineer in her.

  “Right. Well,” Linda squinted, “it’s nothing I would have expected. Does this mean you’re staying on in Palmer, Emily? After your job ends, that is?”

  Paul’s hand stilled against her, and she told herself not to look at him. This was one thing they hadn’t really discussed. She hadn’t considered her plans beyond her day-to-day work and cautiously exploring where this tentative bond between Paul and her might go. “I don’t know it’s going to end, Linda. There’s a possibility the council might turn it into a permanent position.”

  “That would be in Shelly’s court wouldn’t it?” The other woman’s smile had tightened into a cynical twist. “They’d follow her lead. I’m sure Paul would be able to convince his sister how important it is for you to stay.”

  Emily gaped. She had no words to counter Linda’s implication. She’d known people might speculate on this very topic, but to have it thrown in her face so blatantly was still a shock.

  Paul shook his head. “Come on, Linda, you know Shelly’s never been one to play favorites, especially when it comes to something to do with public service. She’d never behave unethically.”

  It was as neat a pushback as she’d ever heard and Emily wanted to kiss him. Linda looked like she’d gotten a mouthful of mud on the playground.

  “Of course I know that. Goodness, Paul, you act like I was implying she was some corrupt politician taking payoffs in a back alley somewhere.” Linda bobbled her head and peered around the kitchen. “Oh, I see Steve Fisher over there. I need to talk with him about where his neighbor is parking his
garbage cans. If you’ll excuse me.”

  In a bustle the other woman walked away, theatrically raising her hand to hail a startled-looking man standing by the stove. As soon as she was out of earshot, Paul set his water on the counter and circled his hand around her waist to gather her to him. He leaned his head down.

  “Linda’s been a mean-spirited busy body since kindergarten. She tattled on me when I threw the kickball on top of the bus barn in third grade. I got detention for a week and had to sweep out the whole garage. Don’t think about her anymore.”

  Emily closed her eyes and pressed her cheek to his for a restorative second. “Why did you throw the ball up there, anyway?”

  “I was tired of playing kickball. It’s a stupid game.”

  Emily drew back and smiled at him, pleased to see the twinkle of humor in his eyes. If he wasn’t going to let it bother him, why should she?

  A smiling young woman approached holding a small, pink baby dressed as a piece of candy corn. She greeted Paul, who introduced her to Emily as his niece Hailey and his new grandniece, Bella. The proud mother handed her baby off to Paul, and he took hold with a laugh.

  “I don’t know where her legs are in this thing,” he commented as he gave baby Bella a couple of expert rocks. The brown, yellow, and orange costume had turned the small baby into a wedge-shaped and wriggling package, and Emily grinned at the sight.

  “Would you like to hold her, Emily?” Hailey offered, and Emily shook her head automatically. The less contact she had with babies, the better off she was. Paul gave her an inquiring look. Before he could speak, the doorbell rang, and Mike left the kitchen, returning quickly and making his way to Shelly’s side where he whispered in her ear. Shelly narrowed her eyes and stared at the entrance, her expression guarded enough to make Emily turn her head as well.

  In walked Courtney, flanked by two other young women. All three were dressed similarly in slim jeans, high boots, and bulky scarves over layered tops, looking like they were headed to a bar after their stop here. Paul’s daughter immediately spotted them and narrowed her eyes as Emily had a flashback to the humiliating encounter in the bedroom a couple of days before.

  She felt Paul take in a deep breath, and she looked up at him with concern. He’d stopped smiling. Nerves filled her belly with cold flutters and her hands began to sweat. Without a word he handed off the candy-corn baby to Hailey, who moved on to the next group of admirers.

  “Courtney, let’s go talk in the other room,” Paul announced. He gripped Emily’s elbow and gestured back the way Courtney and her entourage had come.

  “Paul, maybe we can do this another time,” Emily murmured, but he shook his head and led them directly at the trio of young women. Courtney frowned and glanced back and forth between her friends, her long dark hair concealing part up her face until she pushed it back.

  “Dad, I’m here to see the baby, not you and your…”

  Emily swallowed hard; they were now close enough for her to almost feel the heat of the other women’s gazes on her. Courtney was in a staredown with her father, but Emily had a feeling it wouldn’t last long, because the young woman’s chin was quivering.

  “It won’t take long. And I’d appreciate it if your friends stay here.” Paul’s voice was as implacable as she’d ever heard it and the other two women stepped aside, but not before both threw small sneers her way. Briefly, Emily wondered if one or both had posted nasty things about her online.

  With a sniff, Courtney turned on her heel and stomped off. Wishing she’d stayed home and vacuumed, Emily followed Paul into an open living area where a fire burned in the hearth and two tan leather sofas faced each other across an ornate iron coffee table. Courtney took a stand in front of the flames and scowled.

  “You need to apologize to Emily.”

  “No, I don’t.” His daughter crossed her arms tightly in front of her and stared at the tabletop in front of her. The young woman blinked and gnawed at her lower lip. For a split second she looked about sixteen years old.

  Emily detached herself from Paul’s touch and took a seat on the sofa farthest from Courtney. She appreciated what Paul was trying to do, but it was agony to be in the middle of this disagreement. Those few sips of wine were curdling in her stomach.

  “Courtney, she’s the least to blame in all of this and the one who’s been the most hurt.” Paul’s explanation was delivered in a no-nonsense manner that seemed to make an impression on Courtney. The young woman inclined her head and made hesitant eye contact with her.

  “I’m sorry I said those things to you.”

  “What else?” Paul was firm.

  Courtney sighed and tightened her shoulders. “And I’m sorry my friends and I posted comments, mean comments. We didn’t use your name, so at least there’s that.”

  “At least there’s that,” Paul muttered as he walked to her side and gestured for her to stand. Emily rose up and faced Courtney. “We’re going to remedy the lack of an introduction now. Emily Fontaine, I’d like you to meet my daughter, Courtney.”

  Emily held out her hand, almost expecting it to be slapped away, but Courtney briefly took it, again flickering a glance at her, then took a quick step back. “Hello, Emily.”

  As Courtney tucked her hands under her arms, Emily realized the younger woman might never see her as anything other than an interloper, an unwelcome visitor in her father’s life. The hurt that vibrated in Courtney’s voice made Emily’s heart contract. This was a girl who’d lost her mother and was petrified of losing what remained of her family. What she’d done wasn’t right, but Emily understood why she was acting out.

  Paul sighed and rubbed a hand against his neck. “Okay. That’s progress.”

  Courtney gusted out a sigh. “Was there anything else, or can I get back to the party? We just stopped in to say hi before we went out.”

  “Where’s Jordan?” Paul asked. Emily realized this was the boyfriend from the fight and was glad she was no longer the topic of this father-daughter moment.

  “He’s staying with a friend.” Courtney tilted her head and tensed up her mouth. “I guess we’re taking a break. That should make you happy.”

  “I’m not happy you’re hurt. I’m glad you’re going to have some space to think about things. It’s not wrong to be alone sometimes.” Paul reached out a hand toward his daughter and rubbed her arm. She didn’t reciprocate any gesture of affection, and Emily’s heart ached for both of them. Maybe this tense situation simply required more time to ease things between them.

  “Okay.” Courtney looked back toward the kitchen. “I really need to get going now.”

  “Let’s get together for lunch this week,” Paul said as he looked at Emily to include her. Courtney didn’t miss the interaction, and she gave a quick shake of her head.

  “I don’t know. I’m pretty busy.”

  Emily opened her mouth to excuse herself from the invitation, but Paul narrowed his eyes. “We’re all busy. I think it’s really important that we get to know each other.”

  His daughter risked a glance at her, and the resistance she saw there kept her quiet. If she said anything encouraging, it would come across as false and hypocritical. She imagined Courtney wanted to eat a meal with her as little as she did with the younger woman. But Paul wanted it, and she’d do her best to support him. So she smiled slightly and tried not to look as uncomfortable as she felt.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow, and we’ll work it out. Where are you going tonight?”

  Courtney adjusted her scarf as she edged around the low table, taking the path opposite Paul and her. “We’re going to run up to Findlay. A friend of Becca’s is throwing some haunted basement party. And don’t say it, Dad, I already know to be careful.”

  “And you know you can call me if you need a ride later.”

  His daughter almost rolled her eyes, and Emily felt a flash of understanding. She’d probably react the same way if her mother or father had said something similar.

  Courtney muttere
d, “Fine,” under her breath and walked toward the kitchen. Paul watched her go, his hand seeking Emily’s as he sighed. A spark from the fireplace crackled behind them, and she suddenly wanted nothing more than to go back to his house and curl up next to him on the sofa, under a soft blanket while they watched their own fire glow.

  “Are you having any fun?” He sounded worn-out.

  “Not really.”

  “Want to go home?”

  Emily bit back her question of which home he meant. Their destination didn’t matter to her as long as they were together. She slid her hand up his arm and stepped close. “Yes, let’s go home.”

  Paul couldn’t recall when he’d been more comfortable. He and Emily were sprawled on his sofa, cozily curled up under a blanket. She was pressed against his side, her head on his shoulder and one arm across his chest while he stared at the fire she’d suggested he build. He anticipated they’d move to the bed soon and he imagined how she’d feel under his touch, warm, willing, all he wanted.

  All he wanted.

  That’s when he knew. It wasn’t just intimate friendship and amazing sex they shared. He loved Emily. The realization shook him and for a moment, he wondered if Emily had felt him shudder, but she hadn’t moved a muscle.

  Was now the right time? After making a tiny inroad with Courtney that night, after appearing as a couple at his sister’s house, he knew he needed to define things between them. It was the curse of his engineer’s soul, to need to know the parameters, understand the assembly, and follow the plan. Falling in love again had never been part of his blueprint; he’d assumed he was a one-and-done sort of person. He’d never felt this desperate and delighted in his life.

  Something caught in his chest, and he tightened his hold on her. She responded by sliding her thigh up over his legs and pressing a kiss to his neck.