Ghosts and Grudges

by Jasmine Walt

  “Well that was…interesting.” I stared at the ruined punching bag again before glancing at Raiden. “Are you sure you have control of him? He’s awfully bossy.”

  Raiden rolled his eyes. “Trust me, Katsu just likes to sound like he’s in charge. He isn’t powerful enough to take over my body completely, though he is powerful enough to resist my commands if he doesn’t want to carry them out.” Sighing, he sat down on the ground again. “That’s the thing about being a shaman—you have to be in harmony with your spirit in order to operate at max potential. If the two of you can’t fully become one, then you’re going to have problems harnessing your spirit’s abilities, and your spirit is going to have a hard time controlling your body.” He glanced at me, admiration in his eyes. “You didn’t back down when he was trying to intimidate you.”

  My skin tingled beneath Raiden’s warm regard and I forced myself to break his gaze. Glancing down at my bracelet, I changed the subject. “I didn’t merge with my furi. It just touched me and healed me. Does that mean my magic is different from yours?”

  “I don’t really know. I’ve never seen a yokai shaman perform magic. None of us have.” He shrugged. “Even Mamoru, with all his years of wisdom, doesn’t know much about it.”

  “That’s not exactly making me feel better,” I said as I sat down in front of him, the charm box between us. “But I’ll try it anyway.” It wasn’t like I had room to be picky. My mom was missing, and I needed to learn how to use my powers if I was going to rescue her from an evil shaman.

  I reached for the box, but before I could take a charm, Raiden grabbed my hand. “Take a breath,” he said. “Focus on what you’re doing. Drive the fear from your mind. The last thing you need is for the yokai to sense that you’re afraid.”

  He squeezed my hand, a gesture that I was sure was meant to be comforting. But the motion sent sparks skipping up the inside of my arm, and I was suddenly aware of how small my hand was in his. While his fingers were long and somewhat elegant, like a pianist’s, calluses brushed against my skin, and there was hidden strength in them. A strength that had allowed him to grip that wooden sword and smash it clear through that punching bag. Absolutely nothing like my own delicate hands…and under normal circumstances, I might have been intimidated. Instead, I found myself wanting to squeeze his hand back, to lift it and run my fingers along the ridges and tendons.

  Flustered, I snatched my hand away from his. A hurt look flickered in Raiden’s eyes again, but then they hardened, and he leaned back. Giving me my space.

  Knowing I was never going to be able to concentrate if I kept looking at him, I closed my eyes and drew in a long breath to calm myself. Unfortunately, Raiden’s incense-and-hot-guy scent filled my nose, and the butterflies in my stomach went haywire again.

  Get a grip, Aika! I scolded myself. You don’t have time to be mooning over a guy when your mom’s being held hostage by a psycho shaman!

  The thought of my mom suffering in some dark prison, alone and afraid, was like a cold bucket of water being dumped on my head. Determination filled me as I forced all thoughts from my head and focused on breathing. In, two, three…out, two, three…in, two, three…

  It took a minute, but finally the emotions swirling in my gut began to drain away with each breath, loosening the tightness in my chest and shoulders. With no worrisome thoughts or fears chasing themselves around in my head, it was easy to let go of that emotion, to smooth my frazzled nerves and center myself. As I did, I became aware of my ki inside me, a warm, glowing ball of energy that had tiny trickles of energy bleeding off it. Those trickles flowed through channels in my body like a nervous system all their own. I was all too familiar with how this worked—I channeled my ki all the time when I was performing reiki healings.

  Did yokai power flow through these channels as well? I wondered as I grabbed hold of the energy and studied it. Was this how I harnessed yoki?

  There was only one way to find out.

  I opened my eyes, rock steady now. Raiden blinked as I reached for the box. Part of me wondered what he saw that surprised him, but I didn’t ask. My fingers closed around a tiny wooden carving of a fox, worn smooth and glossy by time and skin oil. Like the yen coin, the fox flared brightly in my hand, and this time I felt its power ripple across my flesh. For a second, I could have sworn something furry rubbed against my arm. But that had to be my imagination…

  “Maji,” I commanded, using the same word Raiden had used to summon Katsu. I latched onto that trickle of power and tugged on it mentally as I said the words, summoning it forth.

  Sapphire light burst from the fox charm like a firecracker that swirled overhead in a vortex of blue fire. Scorching hot flames licked the moisture from my face and hands. Raiden stumbled backward in shock, but I realized I wasn’t scared of the fire. Sure, it was hot, and it could burn me to a crisp, but for some reason, I knew it wouldn’t.

  At least not yet.

  Raising my chin, I stared straight into the vortex of flame. Glowing yellow eyes blinked at me from within the swirling sapphire flame as it solidified into a seven-foot-tall fox with luxurious crimson fur and nine long, bushy tails waving behind it.

  “A kyuubi!” Raiden exclaimed, his apprehension lost as excitement took over. “I’ve always wanted to meet one!”

  The kyuubi turned its nose up at Raiden, pointedly turning away from him. It regarded me thoughtfully. “It has been a long time since a shaman has dared to summon me,” she hissed in Japanese, exposing long, white canines. “Who are you to command me?”

  A large part of me wanted to shrink back from the yokai’s yellow gaze and beg her forgiveness before she ripped my throat out with her teeth. But something else inside me, something ancient and primal, forced me to stand firm. I would not back down.

  “I am Aika of the Fujiwara Clan,” I replied, gathering my power around me. It flowed freely from the center of my chest, enveloping me in a golden glow, and the kyuubi’s eyes widened. “I summoned you by the power of this charm.”

  The yokai growled at the sight of the fox charm dangling in my fingers. She jerked forward, as if she was going to lunge at me, then stopped. Part of me wanted to flinch, but I ignored her threat, meeting her gaze squarely. “I cannot kill you while you wield that charm, or I myself will perish,” she spat. “But that does not mean I will agree to do your bidding. You are not worthy.”

  I bristled at that. “What do you mean, I’m not worthy? I summoned you, didn’t I?”

  The kyuubi laughed. “Any shaman can do that. But you are a weakling, untested, not like the shaman who bound me.” Her gaze turned sinister. “I eat weaklings.”

  “Aika,” Raiden murmured, putting a hand on my shoulder. I wasn’t sure when he’d sidled up to me, but the worry in his voice concerned me. “Just let it go. There are other charms.”

  He was right. And yet, as I looked into the yokai’s eyes, I was seized by the need to dominate. To show it who was boss. Shrugging off Raiden’s hand, I took a step forward. “Give me a test,” I challenged her. “I’ll prove to you that I’m worthy.”

  “Is that so, little shaman?” the kyuubi mocked, her face twisting into a feral smile. “And what happens when you fail? What happens then?”

  “I won’t fail.”

  “Then you won’t mind wagering my freedom on it, eh?” she asked.

  “Aika…” Raiden warned.

  “I agree to your terms,” I said coolly, ignoring Raiden. I needed to do this.

  Evil, feminine laughter echoed throughout the room. “Very well,” the kyuubi said, eyes sparkling with mischief. Her tails beat the air behind us, whipping up a tornado of flame. “You shall have your test.”

  And with those words, the world all around us exploded into sapphire flame.

  8

  Heat unlike anything I’d ever felt before tore a scream from my lungs. The sapphire flame rippling out from the kyuubi melted the ground into slag, and the smell of burning wood and plastic filled my nose as thick black smoke
made my eyes water. The room was so hot I swore my blood was boiling. I’d turn into an Aika-kebab any second now.

  Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.

  “What’s the matter, little shaman?” the kyuubi mocked. She watched me through glimmering eyes, clearly unaffected by the fire swirling around us. “Can’t you take the heat?”

  “I’m fine,” I gasped, doing my best to ignore the rivers of sweat coursing down my body. My lips were chapped, and my mouth was so dry I could barely speak.. But I refused to buckle beneath the kyuubi’s power. Yes, it was hot, but I wasn’t actually dying. I knew the kyuubi couldn’t kill me, not so long as I still held possession of the charm I’d used to summon her.

  “Are you going to stand here and stall, or are you going to give me the test?” I managed to say.

  “Very well,” the kyuubi said. She flicked her tails, and ash rained down all around us. “All you have to do is take the charm from my paw.”

  She extended a paw, and I gasped at the sight of my fox charm sitting there. How the hell had she gotten it from me? Panic surged through my veins—if she had the charm, that meant she could kill me with impunity. I was entirely at her mercy.

  Do not allow such thoughts to poison your resolve, a cool voice in my head said, and I froze. You are far too powerful to be easily overcome.

  Who are you? I asked, looking around. I’d heard the voice before, back in my house when I was being buried by those mushrooms. But the voice didn’t answer, and there was nobody here but me and the kyuubi.

  Whoever it was that kept speaking to me clearly wasn’t going to give me instructions. I was on my own in this.

  “So that’s it, huh?” I asked through gritted teeth. “Just take the charm?”

  The kyuubi’s grin widened. “If you can, little shaman.”

  You can do this. I reached down inside myself and gathered up my courage. Then I extended a hand toward the kyuubi’s outstretched paw, where the fox charm sat innocuously.

  But before I could grab the charm, the kyuubi flicked her tails, and a wave of fire rose up over her. Fear slammed into me, and I threw myself back seconds before the flames crashed down over us in a whirling tornado of fire.

  “Dammit!” I cried as waves of heat scalded me. My entire body felt like it was on fire, and I was half-certain that if I looked in the mirror, my face would be a cracked, bleeding mess. How the hell was I supposed to reach the charm if the kyuubi’s fire was going to attack me every time?

  “Pathetic,” the kyuubi sneered, looking down her snout at me. “You’ll never be able to master me, little shaman, if you’re so easily frightened by a little flame.”

  The derision in her voice reached past my fear and ignited the outrage that had been simmering in the bottom of my heart ever since I’d learned my mother had been taken.

  “You don’t know anything about me,” I spat, getting to my feet. “You have no idea what I’m capable of.”

  “You’re a puny little human, barely an adult,” the kyuubi scoffed. “You don’t think I notice how your little body trembles with fear and pain before me? A real shaman would have already had me subdued.”

  “I am a real shaman,” I growled, taking a step toward her. “Shaman blood flows through my veins.”

  The kyuubi flicked her tails, whipping more fire up around us. Scalding air blasted me, searing my flesh, and suddenly it hit me. The kyuubi was a master of illusion. If these flames were real, and this heat was real, I would already be dead. There was no way the human body could withstand these temperatures for as long as we’d already been in this place. The heat, the flames, the pain…they were all in my head.

  Or at least I sincerely hope so.

  “Enough games,” I growled, gathering my courage again. The kyuubi’s eyes narrowed, and she whipped another wall of flame up as I stepped within range. But this time, I ignored the wave of sapphire fire and reached for the fox charm winking in her palm.

  The flames crashed down on me just as my fingers touched the charm, and a scream ripped from my lips. But the scream was reflexive…because the flames never touched me. White light burst from the charm, enveloping me in a harsh glow. The flames burst into nothingness on contact with the pure energy, and a flood of power rushed through me, chasing away all the pain and uncertainty.

  Grinning, I closed my fist around the charm and met the kyuubi’s shocked gaze. “You’re mine.”

  The kyuubi snapped her jaws, her tails flashing wildly. But the flames gushing about her slapped uselessly against the field of energy surrounding me. The illusionary magic no longer had any effect on it, and in fact, as I stared at it, the flames began to melt away.

  “Hmph.” Recognizing defeat, the kyuubi sat back on her haunches. The flames disappeared, leaving only a vast expanse of darkness around us. “Maybe you are strong enough to command me, little shaman. But it will take more than one little test to earn my respect.”

  She swished her tails one more time, then disappeared in a ball of fire.

  “Aika!” Raiden cried as the dojo reappeared around me. He grabbed me by the shoulders. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah.” Relief rushed through me—for a split second, I’d been worried that the kyuubi was going to leave me stranded in whatever realm she’d taken me to. “The test was easier than I thought.”

  “Thank the gods you’re safe.” Raiden pulled me against his chest. I stiffened in surprise as he wrapped his strong arms around me. “You scared the hell out of me.”

  “Sorry,” I squeaked, trying to come to terms with the conflicting feelings I was experiencing. The warmth from Raiden’s body curled around me like a blanket, both soothing and arousing all at once. Heat bloomed in my core, sending tingles racing through me, and I had the strangest feeling that we’d done this before.

  But that was impossible. I’d never met Raiden before today. There’s no way I would have forgotten about him.

  “Umm,” I finally said after several seconds had passed. “Do you think you could let me go? It’s getting a little hard to breathe.”

  “Oh.” Raiden quickly let me go. “Sorry,” he said, scratching the back of his neck as he looked away. His cheeks were stained red with embarrassment, which I found kind of adorable considering how stern and imposing he normally was. “Er, why don’t you tell me what happened when the kyuubi took you away? How did you defeat her?”

  I sat down on the floor with Raiden and told him all about what had happened. As I talked, I fiddled with the fox charm. It continued to emit a soft glow, and it felt a bit hotter to the touch than it had in the beginning. I wondered if that was because the kyuubi was still pushing her boundaries.

  Well, that was going to have to change. It would take time, but eventually I would show her who was boss.

  “Wow.” Raiden blew out a breath when I was finished. He stared at me as if he wasn’t quite sure what to think. “I didn’t know if you were going to be able to handle that one, Aika. Pretty sure you picked the strongest yokai in the box.”

  “Did I?” I looked away, not wanting to read too much into the impressed look in his eyes, and fastened the fox charm to my bracelet. When I was finished, it dangled a few chain links away from the silk monkey. “You mean the other yokai aren’t necessarily going to be like that?”

  Raiden shook his head. “I doubt it. You’re strong, Aika, strong enough that the average yokai wouldn’t even try to challenge you.”

  “I don’t get it.” I scrubbed a hand across my face. “If I really have this much power, how has it stayed dormant for so long? Why did I need to see that kami in order to activate it? Is that how all shamans find their powers?”

  “No,” Raiden said, sounding just as puzzled as I felt. “We usually come into our powers by around five or six. But my parents have been using their abilities around me all my life, whereas yours haven’t. If your father really was a shaman, and he’d stayed around, you might have discovered your abilities earlier. What happened to him, anyway?”

>   “He’s dead.” I broke Raiden’s gaze, looking down at the charm around my wrist. “I don’t have any memories of him.”

  “I’m sorry,” Raiden said, his voice quiet. Seconds passed in silence, and I was grateful that he didn’t offer further sentiments. I didn’t have any kind of emotional connection with my father, but after everything that had happened today, I couldn’t help but feel sadness and resentment toward him. Why did he have to leave us so soon? Would things have turned out differently if he’d stayed? Would Kai still have come after us?

  “Let’s call it a day,” Raiden said gently, taking my hand. I looked up at him as he pulled me to my feet, and the compassion in his steady gaze warmed me. “I can see that you’re tired. We’ll come back to this in the morning.”

  “Thanks,” I said, grateful for the reprieve. I followed him to the elevator, my hand still in his. There was something comforting about Raiden—he was a rock steady presence, the kind of guy a girl could lean on when she needed support. And right now, with my thoughts and feelings in such turmoil, with all these new experiences and ideas to sort through, I could sorely use a shoulder.

  “Wait a second,” I protested as Raiden pushed the button for number seven instead of the lobby. “Where are we going now? I’m not up for any more training tonight—I want to go to bed.”

  “You are. I’m showing you to a room for the evening.”

  “I’m not staying here,” I said as we began to go down. “I didn’t bring a change of clothes or anything!”

  “It’s too dangerous for you to go back to the house,” Raiden said. “If Kai really is looking for you, he’ll have your place watched. This entire building is warded—he can’t get to you as long as you stay in here. Besides,” he added as the elevator doors opened, “we have toothbrushes and pajamas here. We’re not barbarians.”

  I pressed my lips together and glared at Raiden. I didn’t really have an argument against this—surely there was no harm in spending the night. But when the elevator doors opened again, the reality of what Raiden was saying hit me in the chest. “Are you saying that I have to stay inside here? That I can’t leave?”