The Truth Between Us (Bentwood Book 2)

by Tammy L. Gray

  “I can say the same for you.” Sean eased out of the hug, too close to letting emotion weaken his position. “Glad you finally wised up and asked her to marry you.”

  Ty grinned and wrapped an arm around Journey’s shoulders. “I may be slow, but I’m not stupid.”

  Sean held back from turning that line into a zinging comeback, mostly because he didn’t have the energy to play to the crowd just yet. His mind was too consumed with the two people who hadn’t moved—his former best friend and the girl who’d shattered his heart.

  Sean addressed Beck first. Not because he wanted to, but because it took far less strength than to watch April continue to ignore him. “You going to welcome me home?”

  Beck eased away from Stella, coming around the table. Andrew stood, ready to play interference, but Sean shook his head. Whatever Beck was going to do, he’d take it. Physical pain was far better than the twisting knot in his stomach.

  But Beck didn’t raise a fist as Sean had done the last time they spoke. Instead he put out his hand, his eyes full of an apology Sean never thought he’d see. “Welcome home.”

  Their hands clasped and Beck pulled him in, his hug fierce. “I’m sorry.” He said the words as if they’d been waiting for months to spill from his lips.

  Sean swallowed, a sting sliding down his throat. “Me too.”

  They let go, knowing more needed to be said, but also knowing now wasn’t the time or place. Beck slapped his arm and moved aside just far enough for Sean to once again make eye contact with the girl he’d come home for.

  He wasn’t sure exactly what he expected. Shame? Contrition? Maybe even a hint that she’d missed him. He got none of the above. Only a blank stare. A wall of granite that seemed to have hardened to twice the strength since he’d first walked in.

  April stood, a pillar of gracefulness, never blinking or looking away. “Could I speak to you in private please?”

  He hated that voice. Condescension dipped in sugar with a kick of fire just in case you were confused. It was the same tone her mother had used on him every time he’d darkened their door or sat at their dinner table. Three years together and the woman never once treated him with anything but contempt.

  “Sure thing, Jelly Bean.” He smirked when her armor cracked ever so slightly. “Lead the way.”

  The click of April’s notorious four-inch heels echoed against his heart, and he followed, keeping his eyes on anything but her backside. April wore clothes to get respect, not attention. Sharp skirts, collared button ups, stiff jackets. But even that couldn’t hide her gorgeous curves or the slim waist that accentuated every one of them. Worse, he intimately knew the softness that existed when all the layers were peeled back.

  She kept going and he wondered if she was going to walk all the way back to the alcove they’d disappeared into the night it all began. He also wondered if she did, would he be able to control himself?

  It didn’t take long to find out the answer. She spun around, halfway down the hall, only far enough away from the dining room to keep their conversation private.

  “What are you doing here?” Again with that infuriating voice. She didn’t get to be the one put out. He’d served his time, disappeared when she forced him to.

  “Same thing you are. Celebrating our friends’ engagement.” He tilted his head, the bitterness that she never once attempted to make contact with him chipping away at his control. “Last I checked, your name isn’t on the title of Bentwood Country Club. You can’t have me banished from here, Jelly Bean.”

  “Do not call me that.” The nickname was Andrew’s brainchild, born after a summer where April snacked continuously on Starburst jelly beans. In time, the name had become his alone, a reminder of the carefree little girl her parents worked tirelessly to destroy.

  “Why not? Does it force you to feel something? To remember for two seconds that we made promises to each other?”

  Her lips pressed together, features sharper than he remembered. He eyed her with more scrutiny. She was too thin. He’d missed it at first because the clothes fit her well, but she’d dropped at least a size, and not to her favor. Her eyes were dulled, tired. As much as he resented her for the time that had passed, there was no hiding that the months had been hell for her too.

  His love for her pushing aside the anger, he relaxed his shoulders, forced his voice to go softer. “I didn’t come here to upset you.”

  “Sure and that entrance wasn’t for my benefit at all.”

  At least she hadn’t lost her sass. He suppressed a smile. “Okay, yeah. When Andrew mentioned brunch, I admit the devil on my shoulder won.”

  “So this was Andrew’s idea?” Her voice faltered, exposing the hurt she always kept hidden. “Turning the rest of my family against me wasn’t enough? You had to drag my brother into it too?”

  “I didn’t drag your brother into anything. He listened, which is all I’ve ever wanted from you.” Sean took one step closer. “It’s what I still want.”

  “Not interested.” She lifted her chin and eyed him with the same distaste he’d seen her level on countless others before him. “And I didn’t have you banished. I never said you had to leave Bentwood. Just me.”

  “You said?” he snorted. “I recall a different scenario.”

  “Recall whatever you like. Nothing’s changed.” In that moment, he wasn’t her ex-fiancé, he wasn’t the man who stood by her side through two grueling years of law school and her first year as an associate. No, he was a problem to be solved. A burr in the middle of her shiny saddle.

  The hope of vindication that brought him this far raced through his limbs again. He welcomed the fire. Knew it well after twenty years of football. Each step forward empowered him. “Everything has changed.” Now he crowded her, but to her credit, she didn’t back up, not even a step. It was sexy as hell, which had always been his problem. “I’m getting my life back. I let you run me off before, but not again.” Bentwood was too interconnected to live autonomous lives. He knew it. She knew it. But now he didn’t care. “I’ve done my time in purgatory.”

  April’s eyes used to be the window into her soul, but she’d found a way to cover them. Make them as blank and lifeless as the rest of her face. “I guess there’s nothing left to say then.”

  Oh, there was. There was plenty to say. And he’d make her listen to every single word.

  For now, though, he backed away. “Guess not.”

  She gave a crisp nod, spun around and disappeared into the ladies room.

  Sean placed both palms on the wall, feeling much like he had after taking a hard hit from a cornerback. Breathless and achy all over. He pressed his forehead to the plaster, cursing the fact she was the only person in the world who could ever make him feel powerless.

  Her words punched holes in his mind. They were true; she didn’t ask him to leave Bentwood, only to get out of her life. At the time, he couldn’t function in their hometown without her. Couldn’t stomach going back to watching her life from the sidelines. Leaving had been his only chance at survival.

  He banged his head against the wall twice, hoping the pain would distract him from the deeper ache. It was supposed to be easier now.

  Ten lousy months and it hadn’t made a damn difference.

  Chapter 7

  April gripped the sink, her breathing shallow, her eyes shut tight. She needed to pull herself together before someone walked in and saw her this way. She shook her head, blew out a long breath and turned on the water. Hot liquid rippled over her fingers. She reached for the soap, one pump, two, then scrubbed and scrubbed her hands until her skin grew red and irritated, but still, the memory remained.

  “Jump!” Sean called from the water below her.

  Her toes inched toward the edge, the piercing heat of the sun stinging her already sunburnt back. The distance was too great. The promise of fear too overwhelming to accept.

  “Come on,” he called again. “You promised.”

  “That was before I got here,” s
he shot back. He was always pushing her. Making her take risks she didn’t want to. Sean was a man with no boundaries. There were no clear rules or lines to delineate. He wanted everything. An all-encompassing surrender.

  “Jelly Bean.” He swam closer to the towering rock, his voice soothing and careful. “I’ll be right here. You just have to close your eyes and trust me.”

  As if that were any easier than jumping from a twelve-foot cliff.

  She shook her hands, eased inches closer to the drop in front of her. This wasn’t something a person did in their mid-twenties. They did it in high school, before their mind could comprehend that they weren’t indestructible.

  “I hate you,” she yelled just as she closed her eyes and leapt from the safety of the edge. Water rushed inside her nose seconds later, choking her.

  Panic struck her right as Sean’s powerful hands pulled her from the folds of suffocation. As soon as her head cleared the surface, she coughed up the burning water. Her eyes stung, her nose ran in a stream of water and snot.

  Sean wiped at her face and soon she realized he was laughing. A deep, throaty laugh wrapped in patronizing apology.

  “Shut up,” she hacked and tried to kick away, but he was too strong and she found herself smashed against his chest, her legs locked around his waist while he treaded water for the both of them.

  His laughter died as their closeness stilled the air around them. He slid the last of her hair from her eyes, left his palm a brand on her cheek. “When I see you this way, it’s like having the wind knocked out of me.”

  His words were soft and she felt her defenses breaking. They’d been growing weaker with each moment they spent together. She tried to gain some traction, to ease the growing sense of weakness she detested in herself. “What way? Waterlogged and looking like a drowned rat?”

  “No, my love… free.” He brushed his lips against her forehead. “Why you fight it so hard I’ll never understand.” His breath continued its assault against her skin. “I love you,” he said again, as if she would miss the first time.

  Now the cliff felt small, miniscule compared to the greater jump he wanted.

  “You love me, too,” he continued, his lips now vibrating against hers. “Don’t worry, I won’t make you say it… yet.”

  Her chest tightened, smothering her as if she were back in the water being assaulted by the current. She slammed the faucet to the left, forcing it off, and then viciously pulled on the towel dispenser.

  Sean was back. And he was staying.

  She almost laughed, but it wasn’t funny. Not even a little. It was her worst case scenario. One initiated by the only family member still talking to her.

  Fury edged out the shock. April welcomed it. Anger was easy to manage. It made her fierce, determined. It was all the other emotions she hated. Ones she had no business even thinking about right now.

  Eyes on her reflection, April tucked any wayward pieces of hair. Wiped at a stray eyelash under her eye and pinched some color into her pallor cheeks. She would not emerge looking frazzled. Knowing Sean’s stubbornness, he’d probably still be standing there, feet wide, arms crossed, muscles a tight coil under his shirt.

  She gritted her teeth so hard it caused pain to split across her temples. The shock brought her back under control. If he were there, she’d simply walk on by without a single word.

  But it was Andrew who pushed off the wall when she slipped from the bathroom. “You okay?”

  She nearly kept to her plan to ignore him, but stopped when she met his remorse-filled eyes. It didn’t make sense why he’d turn on her, hurt her intentionally. Way too close to breaking, she folded her arms over her chest. “Why would you do this to me? Haven’t I been punished enough?”

  “Yes, you have. Only it’s been self-imposed.” Andrew gripped her shoulders in brotherly superiority. “If you would take five minutes to look past the anger, you may see things from a different perspective. I did.”

  “You think this is about perspective?” She jerked away. “Sean ruined our family. He lied for months while working to destroy us. How can you defend him?” Her nose stung and the dampness in her eyes made her want to hurl her stiletto across the hall.

  “Because I believe he did the right thing, even with the outcome.” Andrew had never been the protective big brother. They’d spent most of their childhood at odds, but the way his voice dipped had her throat constricting. “You hide it well, little sis, but I can see that you’re hurting.”

  “If you were that concerned, you wouldn’t have let him ambush me.” That was the part that bothered her the most. She had no recollection of those thirty seconds after he’d walked up to their group. Her body and mind hadn’t felt like her own, operating solely on autopilot… and there was nothing more dangerous than being out of control.

  Andrew rubbed his chin furiously. He did it to keep himself calm. “You’re right. And I’m sorry. But it was the only way I could see how you truly felt.”

  “Feelings don’t matter.”

  “Yes, they do. You’re still in love with him. It was all over your face when he walked up.” He glanced toward the dining room and her gaze followed. Sean looked large and invulnerable, with no sign of emotion besides a small indentation between his brows.

  A wave of unaccountable tenderness swept through her that Andrew must have seen.

  He stepped closer. “You need to talk to him. Take the time to understand his motives. They were pure, April.”

  “This isn’t about his motives.” Her throat swelled and her voice came out small, each word a reminder of why she had to get herself under control. “He lied to me for months. He hurt our family irreparably. Nothing he has to say will change the fact that I will never trust him again.”

  “You sound like Mom.” It wasn’t meant to be a compliment, but she took it as one. After all, the greatest achievement she could have would be to mirror her mother’s poise and detachment.

  “Good. Maybe if I’d paid attention earlier, I wouldn’t be in this mess.” Their mother had ice running through her veins. She’d never been broken, never walked through life with regret plaguing her. To this day, April had never seen her mother shed a tear. If only she could channel some of that strength. “So tell me, when you and Sean concocted this little plan, did you consider the fallout?” she asked, going on the offensive. “Uncle Bradley is going to be released in two months, and Sean being here is going to ruin any chance I have to reconnect with him or make things right with Mom and Dad.”

  “Forget them. You shouldn’t have to beg them to forgive you. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I brought Sean into our lives. Dad told me not to and I did it anyway.”

  He rolled his eyes as if she were naïve as well as stupid. “That’s just an excuse to punish you for standing up to them. They want to control you, and they know they can as long as you continually beg them for their love. It’s sick. They’re sick.”

  The words lanced her heart. “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never cared like I have.” Andrew didn’t suffer the same loss she had. He chose to walk away from their family. Sean had taken that choice completely out of her hands.

  Andrew shook his head like he was the one with the right to be annoyed. “If you can’t see how they manipulate you, then I don’t know how to help you.”

  “I’ll give you one clue.” She eyed her brother with a resentment she hadn’t felt since childhood. “Don’t show up with my ex to brunch. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have damage to control.”

  His body stiffened and his face returned to its casual indifference. Her brother was a Duncan through and through, despite his heartfelt words about vulnerability. There are some childhood lessons that never get dispelled, no matter how convinced you are that they’re wrong.

  He extended a hand toward the dining room. “After you, little sis.”

  She moved forward with feigned confidence and took a stabilizing breath. She could do this: work the room, say her goodbyes, c
ollect her purse from the table, and leave, all with a smile on her face.

  But her resolve faltered when Journey was the first to rush to her. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you. I almost did so many times.”

  The air stilled between them. “Tell me what?” It was an unnecessary question. Of all her friends, Journey was the easiest to read. She was softness and grace. A stunningly beautiful girl on the surface, but what made her irresistible was her incredibly gentle and fragile heart.

  April had spent most of her life protecting that heart, finding it unexpected and rare. Now it seemed that heart had been turned.

  “Sean and I have been emailing for months. I’m the one who got him the coaching job at Bentwood Regent.” She looked relieved to tell her, to get the secret out as if it cost more than the truth.

  April’s breath caught, ripples of rage beating against her lungs. “You did this?” Her words came out in short spurts. She knew Journey was a romantic. She’d even insinuated that April still pined for Sean on more than one occasion. But to go this far? Behind her back?

  “I don’t know how else to help you.” Tears pooled in her light blue eyes. “You’re slipping away, becoming someone I don’t recognize.”

  April’s fist tightened at her side. She had all the words she needed to annihilate her best friend, yet something kept her from speaking. Her stare alone had caused a tear to slip past Journey’s eyelashes.

  As if Ty could sense the building tension, he appeared, one arm slipping across his fiancé’s shoulders.

  “We should go,” he coaxed, easing her away. “We’ll discuss this at the condo.”

  Journey had moved in with her when Sean moved out. She’d walked through the worst months with her. Stood at her side during Bradley’s sentencing, held her hand when her mom passed by without a glance.

  For that moment alone, April nodded and stepped away before she inflicted permanent damage on their friendship.

  Shoulders back, she moved within the folds of the crowd. Even managed to hold a glass and converse with a few people. All while hiding the fact that she kept her peripheral locked on her ex. Sean moved toward Beck, his body language tense but not hostile, and hardly made it three feet before he was once again pulled away by another family friend.