Tuesday (Timeless Series #2)

by E. L. Todd

  I squeezed my thighs together.

  We couldn’t be alone in the same room together without this happening, without the gravitational pull that our bodies constantly emitted for each other.

  Hawke grabbed the remote from the coffee table and hit the OFF button. The TV immediately went black.

  A lump formed in my throat and I tried to swallow it, but my mouth had suddenly gone dry.

  Hawke turned to me, and when our eyes locked, the walls came down. The resistance had disappeared. At least neither one of us wanted to fight it anymore. At the same instant he grabbed my hip and pulled me on top of him, I crawled into his lap and straddled his hips.

  His arm wrapped completely around my waist and he dug the other into my hair. He pressed his face into my neck and took a deep breath, smelling me. My arms hooked around his neck and my thighs squeezed his hips. The touch gave each of us so much relief, but so much angst at the same time. When our bodies were pressed together this way, time slowed down. The world bowed to us so we could cling to each other in desperation.

  Resistance

  Hawke

  What the fuck was I doing?

  I couldn’t stay away from her, not anymore. My heart was bleeding and she was the only one who could stop the wound. I’d never wanted something so much in my entire life. Anytime she was in my arms, all the pain disappeared.

  Would I ever hurt her?

  Could I hurt something I loved so damn much?

  At times like this, the answer was no. I would never lay a hand on her. The idea of her being in any kind of pain sent me over the edge. I couldn’t handle it. I’d rather die than cause her pain.

  But what if I was angry around her? What if she became an innocent bystander?

  What if I turned into my father?

  I’d seen the wreckage his drunken rage had caused. My mother was a helpless victim that couldn’t get away. If she ran, he would follow her. And the beating would be much worse. I drank like anyone else, but I’d never been drunk in my life.

  I was afraid of what would happen if I ever did.

  For the past two years, I’d spent every day drinking and fucking. Every night when I went to bed, I dreamt of the one woman I actually gave a damn about. I wasn’t just insanely infatuated with the softness of her hair or the curve of her kissable lips. I was madly in love with her soul—because it was mine.

  Why couldn’t I have the one thing I wanted? Hadn’t I suffered enough? Francesca was the only thing that could make me whole. I’d never love anyone else for as long as I lived. Even now, I wished every girl in my bed was her.

  A knock on my door shattered my thoughts.

  I wasn’t expecting company, so I wasn’t sure who it was. In my heart, I hoped it would be Francesca. But if she were here, I would know. Somehow, I would know.

  I opened the door and saw Danielle on the other side. She wore a trench coat with heels. I didn’t need her to open the jacket to understand she only wore lingerie underneath.

  “You look like you’ve had a long day.” She tilted her head to the side, trying to be sexy.

  “I may have.”

  “Let me make it better.” She took one step inside, coming in without being invited.

  I’d fucked Danielle before and it was always fun. She was kinky in ways most girls weren’t. I did a lot of nasty shit that most guys only dream of.

  But now I couldn’t do it. “Not tonight. Actually, this is it.”

  She tilted her head again, but this time in confusion. “Wait…what?”

  I needed to stay away from Francesca. I didn’t trust myself. But I really thought I could do right by her. If I were ever angry around her, I would leave. That would solve any future problem. If I just removed myself from the situation, I would never have to worry about hurting her. “I’m with someone.”

  “Again…what?”

  Two years ago, leaving Francesca was the best decision. I’d seen too many similarities between my father and I, and after the way I savagely threw her across the floor in that bar, I didn’t deserve her.

  But now I did.

  “I belong to someone. I can’t do this.”

  Danielle moved her hands to her hips. “You have a girlfriend?”

  “No.” It was so much more than that. “I’m sorry for wasting your time, Danielle. I’m unavailable. I know you’ll find someone that appreciates you more than I did.”

  Her pride was clearly wounded by the pissed look on her face. “Whatever, Hawke. Don’t come crying to me when you miss this—all of this.”

  There was only one woman I missed. “Good night.”

  She flipped her hair over her shoulder before she sauntered off, moving her hips with an attitude.

  I shut the door and walked back into my empty apartment. I had no idea what I was doing, but it didn’t seem like I was in charge of my life anymore. Something else was making all the decision for me—my soul.

  ***

  I waited outside the bakery at five o’ clock. I knew Francesca got off work at that time, and I was hoping to run into her without making it seem like I planned it on purpose.

  I knew she felt the way I did. That much was obvious by the way she clung to me for dear life. She dumped a nice guy because he simply wasn’t me. But I remembered how much I hurt her. That wasn’t something someone could forgive so easily.

  Would she forgive me?

  At five o’ clock, she made her move. She walked out of the bakery in a black t-shirt covered with flour.

  I walked with my hands in my pockets and purposely headed her way. Right when I crossed paths with her, she spotted me. She stopped her in her tracks and looked up at me, that same look of fear and joy she always gave me. “Hey.”

  “Hi…” She immediately played with her hair, like she was self-conscious about the flour that was caked all over her.

  Little did she know I wanted to lick it all off. “Just got off work?”

  “Yeah. It was a long day. What about you?” The further into the conversation we went, the less tense she seemed. Sometimes, she was on edge around me, but I suspected it was because she was constantly guarding her heart.

  “A lot of paperwork. I’m not a big fan of it.”

  “Isn’t that all you do?”

  I shrugged. “In a nutshell, I guess. But there’s more to it than that.” Francesca never really discussed my company. We hadn’t had much time alone together so it never came up. She had no idea how wealthy I was or how hard I worked to open my business. I had more money than I could ever need, and I wanted to give it all to her.

  “I’ll take your word for it.” She adjusted the strap of her purse and shifted her weight.

  “Want to come over for dinner?” I hadn’t planned on asking her that, but now that she was in front of me, the words slipped out. I missed spending time with her, just she and I.

  Her green eyes lightened noticeably, giving her away. She wanted to stay away from me, but she didn’t have the strength to keep up her resistance.

  Neither did I.

  “I should shower.” She looked down at her dirty shirt.

  “You can shower at my place.” Shit, my mouth was out of control.

  “And put on the same dirty clothes?” she asked with an awkward laugh.

  “You can wear some of my stuff.”

  She took a deep breath like the idea of being surrounded with my smell was the biggest comfort in the world. I understood the sensation. Anytime she was close to me, I was on crack. It felt so good at the time even though it felt shitty later when the high was gone. “Okay.”

  I knew that would be her answer even though she didn’t want that to be her answer. “Then let’s go. I’m making salmon and greens.”

  “It’s nice to have someone cook for me for once.”

  And it was nice to have dinner with someone for once.

  ***

  Knowing she was buck-naked in my shower made my cock rock-hard. It hadn’t been this stiff since the last time I’d b
een with her. She turned me on like crazy, even when she was covered in powder and sugar.

  I prepared dinner in the kitchen while I listened to the water run in the shower. I imagined the droplets sliding down her gorgeous figure. She was always self-conscious about her thighs. She said they were too big.

  But I thought they were perfect.

  When the water turned off, my dick finally stopped throbbing. But I had a feeling it would swell up to the size of a balloon once she came out in my clothes. I grilled the salmon on the stove and then prepared the greens in a separate pan. I ate like a health freak all the time. It was the only way I could retain my muscle and not gain fat.

  When she came out, dinner was ready.

  She wore one of my Yankees t-shirts along with a pair of running shorts that were rolled a dozen times at her waist. That was the only way she could get them to fit. Her hair was slightly damp and her face was free of make up.

  Fuck, I wanted her.

  “It smells really good.”

  “Thanks.” I sat down at the table and she sat across from me.

  She pulled her hair over one shoulder and ate quietly, her eyes glued to her food.

  I ate slowly and watched her the entire time.

  “Do you cook often?”

  “Every night. I don’t like eating out.”

  “That’s healthy.”

  “I’m not a fan of all the oil and grease they put into everything. At least at home, I know what I’m getting.”

  “I do the same thing.”

  I chewed a few pieces of broccoli. “Decorate a wedding cake today?”

  “Actually, no,” she said. “But I made a ton of bear claws.”

  “That sounds delicious.”

  “They were,” she said with a smile. “I sampled them. You know…to make sure they were good.”

  “I bet.”

  She finished her food before I did. “That was really good. I’m impressed.”

  “I’d like to take all the credit, but I think Google deserves some of it.” I took our empty plates and placed them in the sink.

  “You cooked so shouldn’t I clean?” It was a fallback to our old relationship. When she stayed at my place for the week while her floors were getting redone, she did all the cooking, and I did all the cleaning. Remembering the past made me sad. All I could think about was the way she fell to the floor when I walked out of that apartment for the last time.

  “No.” I didn’t give her an explanation why, and she was smart enough not to ask.

  “What’s for dessert?” She changed her tone to lighten the mood.

  You. “I don’t have a sweet tooth.”

  “I remember differently…”

  “I only have a sweet tooth when it comes to you.” I could invite her into the living room to watch TV but that’s not what I wanted to do. I had a feeling she didn’t either.

  I pulled her chair out then lifted her to my chest. One arm was cradled under her knees while the other supported her back. Her arm immediately circled my neck like she was expecting it.

  I carried her into my bedroom and set her on the mattress. Then I pulled off my shirt and jeans until I was just in my boxers.

  Francesca sat at the edge of the bed.

  I pulled the sheets back then got in, lying back on the pillow.

  She didn’t move.

  I sat up and watched her, trying to gauge her thoughts.

  She looked at the sheets then felt the fabric with her fingertips. Her eyes were half-lidded, somewhere faraway.

  Then it hit me. “They didn’t mean anything to me.”

  Francesca turned her eyes on me.

  I grabbed her arm and gently pulled her to me. “Don’t think about it. We both know you’re the only one who really matters. So don’t compare yourself.” When I lay on her bed, I thought about Kyle and the fact he probably fucked her on that mattress. But then I remembered she dumped him because he could never compete with me.

  And none of them could compete with her.

  I pulled her flush against my body and hooked her leg over my hip. It was 7:30 and neither one of us were planning on sleeping. But I wanted to lay with her and just look at her. I wanted to stare at those beautiful green eyes that sent chills down my spine. I wanted to feel the hum of our bodies as they lay so close to each other.

  This healed me.

  Francesca moved a hand to my chest, and her fingers grazed over the skin. Her lips were slightly parted, and her teeth were showing.

  I wanted her—badly. But I preferred this. She wasn’t just another woman to me. She was the woman. And just being with her was enough for me. I didn’t think about fucking her or burying myself inside her to mask the pain. I only thought about kissing her, massaging those lips with my mouth. I only thought about loving her in the way she deserved.

  “What are we doing?” she whispered.

  “I don’t know. But I like it.”

  “I like it too.”

  My hand moved into her hair and I pulled it from her face. The moment felt like a dream, a reality where she was mine. Sometimes, I wondered where we would be if I hadn’t left. Would we be married? Would we have a child together? I never wanted to have kids, but it didn’t sound so bad with her.

  For the rest of the night, we just stared at each other. Sometimes, she would close her eyes and doze off, but even then I would continue staring. Her fingers would move across my chest, and eventually they lay over my heart. We spent the night falling in and out of consciousness. I wanted to sleep because she chased my nightmares away, but I also wanted to stay awake just so I could watch her.

  I wanted to treasure her.

  ***

  After an hour of playing basketball, we washed up and headed to the deli.

  “I’m surprised your wife gave you permission to go out.” I loved teasing him about this. Just a few years ago, I distinctly remember him telling me he would never get married. Now, he was whipped.

  “Shut the hell up.” He grabbed his tray of food then took a seat at the table.

  I did the same.

  “And she’s not my wife—yet. But she will be soon.” An involuntary smile stretched his lips.

  I wanted to make another joke but I held it back.

  “You like The Plaza?”

  “Sure.” It was just another hotel to me.

  “That’s how I feel about it too. Not sure why Marie is so obsessed with it. I honestly think she just likes the idea of it more than the actual place. Personally, I’ve always pictured myself getting married outside somewhere.”

  “Why don’t you tell her that?”

  He shrugged. “It’s her day. She can whatever the hell she wants.”

  “Pushover…”

  “Look, she’s my lady. If she wanted to get married at Funworks, I wouldn’t have said anything.”

  “Well, somebody should,” I said with a laugh.

  Axel ate half his sandwich in a few bites. “So, who’d you share your bed with last night?”

  It’d always been a little awkward talking about girls after Francesca and I split up. We never went into detail about it, but Axel asked me questions now and then. And he wasn’t stupid. He knew I went back to my old ways the second I moved here. “No one.” That was a lie. Francesca was in my bed, but I didn’t think that would be the best answer.

  “That’s odd.”

  I’d been going over my situation with Francesca endlessly. I went back and forth in my decision, but I knew what I really wanted. With every passing day, it would only become more difficult. And if I wanted this, I had to do this right. “Axel, we need to talk about something…”

  “Yeah?” He raised an eyebrow as he threw a chip in his mouth. “You got Chlamydia?”

  “I’m gonna pretend you didn’t ask me that.”

  “It’s a legitimate question. You must have something right now. One time, I had a crabs scare.”

  I glanced at my food and lost my appetite. “Nothing like that.”
/>   “Phew. Then what’s up?”

  “It’s about Frankie.”

  His entire expression changed. He went from laid-back to on edge. He watched me with a guarded look, his suspicion evident in the burn of his eyes and the fine line of his lips. “What about her?”

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and…I want her back.”

  He leaned back in his chair, growing angrier with every passing second. “This better be a fucking joke.”

  “It’s not.”

  He leaned over the table, getting close to me. “Let me get this straight. You dump her two years ago after you tell her you’re her fucking soul mate, and now that you’re seeing her again, you want to give it another try?” Axel wasn’t particularly close with Francesca but he was incredibly protective of her. He claimed it was because she didn’t have a father, but I knew it was because he loved her, whether he would admit it or not.

  “It’s more complicated than that.”

  “No, you just want what you can’t have. Frankie gets a nice boyfriend and then you get jealous—”

  “She broke up with him weeks ago.”

  Axel’s jaw was still hanging. “Why are you telling me all of this, Hawke? I’m still pissed at you for what you did to her. And I still don’t know why you did it.”

  “It’s not because I stopped loving her.”

  “Shut up, Romeo.”

  “And I’m telling you this for a reason.”

  The vein in his temple was starting to pulse. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.”

  “I just want your support in this. I’m going to tell her how I feel. And I know it would mean a lot to her if you were on board with it. She acts like your opinion doesn’t matter to her but I know it does.”

  “You didn’t give a damn about my support last time. Why is this any different?”

  “Because I know I fucked up. I admit that.”

  He watched me with scrutiny.

  “And I deserve to be doubted. I deserve your reservations.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest.

  “But I do love her, Axel. I always have.”

  “I think it’s a terrible idea…”

  “I’m not asking for your permission, Axel. I just wanted to give you a head’s up. I’m going to tell her how I feel, and I already know how she feels. But it would make things a lot easier if you supported both of us. Because this is what we want.”