by E. L. Todd
I felt whole.
I didn’t want to cry in front of Hawke. It was something I was always self-conscious about. But he wouldn’t allow me to hide any longer. So I sobbed into his shoulder, reliving the painful way he abandoned me.
Now I felt like a new person.
I opened my eyes and looked at Hawke. He was still asleep, his hair messy from rolling around on my sheets. The hair on his chin was more prominent because he hadn’t shaved in over a week. His hard body was still defined even though he was fast asleep.
He was beautiful.
My reservations disappeared last night. It was hard for me to trust Hawke again after what he did, but my heart still yearned for him. Keeping him at bay was like asking a gray cloud not to rain.
It was impossible.
He seemed to know I was awake because his eyes fluttered open. He stared at me with squinted eyes as he came back to reality. His arm was around my waist, and when he felt me, he squeezed me gently. A quiet sigh escaped his lips, masculine in tone. “Hi.”
“Hi…” My hand glided up his arm until it settled in his hair. I felt a strand then twisted it in my fingers, an action I used to do years ago. His hair was slightly curly, and I loved to feel it in my hands.
Hawke watched me, his eyes glued to my face. He noticed the change in atmosphere, and the fact there wasn’t a concrete wall erected around my heart. He didn’t blink as he watched me, not wanting to miss a single thing.
My fingers stopped twisting his hair then rested on the side of his face. I noted the rough texture of his incoming beard. The touch was sexy, manly.
Hawke stared at me like he was waiting for something.
I was tired of pushing him away. I was tired of keeping us apart. I could keep running from this, but no matter how far I ran or where I went, I would always end up back here.
I pressed my face close to his then let the tips of our lips touch. I eased into it, not wanting all of it at once. Hawke’s lips moved slightly against mine, an involuntary reaction. I brushed my lips past his, feeling the build up in my heart. I was anxious for this kiss. I knew where it would lead and what it would mean.
But I wanted it anyway.
I leaned in and pressed my mouth to his. His soft lips felt warm against mine, and the second we touched, I felt the heat sear me like a blue flame. It felt so good it hurt. I gasped into his mouth because every nerve was stimulated. Neither one of us had brushed our teeth but I didn’t notice. I had a feeling he didn’t either.
Hawke tightened his hold on me and pulled me closer, practically gripping me. He breathed into my mouth, his shoulders tensing like the affection was enough to make him break.
After the initial kiss, I slowly moved my mouth against his. I took my time because it felt so incredible. My body coiled up like a wire in intensity. My hand snaked to his chest and moved to the area over his heart. I felt it beat for me, not the falter.
Hawke kissed me harder, his restraint waning. His hand fisted the back of my hair and he gripped it tightly so I couldn’t slip away. He kissed me just the way he used to, but somehow, it was more intense than ever before. He worshipped me with his mouth, and despite the heat both of our bodies generated, there was no lust.
There was just need.
Hawke rolled me to my back and held himself over me, kissing me lovingly. Our lips moved against each other, making quiet noises. Soft moans came from deep in our throats as we embraced. My legs wrapped around his hips, and he hooked one arm around my waist and his hand rested on the small of my back.
Without saying a word, we put ourselves back together. I told him I was his, and that I’d always been his.
And he told me he was mine.
***
I shoved the pan into the oven then set the timer. My body was yearning for the clock to hit five o’ clock. I never watched the time when I was at work, either because I was too busy or I didn’t care, but now I desperately wanted to get the hell out of there.
I couldn’t stop smiling.
I wanted to see Hawke, to run into his arms and never leave. All the pain I carried disappeared when he held me as I cried. When I realized he wouldn’t give up on me, that he was going to be there whether I took him back or not, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me the way he did in the past.
He was truly sorry.
Hawke was the only man I wanted, and I was tired of denying him. I needed him, and he needed me. Most people would give out a second chance after what he did, but I wasn’t most people.
Arms circled me from behind, and large hands moved across my stomach. The scent of his cologne reached my nose, and my heart suddenly danced. His hard chest was pressed against my back, and I could feel the definition of his tie. “Hey, Muffin.” He pressed his lips to my ear, and his voice came out raspy.
I leaned my head back and looked up at him. “Hey, Grizzly.” I hadn’t used that nickname in a long time. Now it felt like I’d been using it forever.
He smiled as he stared down at me, his perfect teeth showing. Then he released a quiet growl.
My hand moved to the back of his neck, and I pulled his lips toward mine. I gave him a slow kiss as my ass dug into his hips. He cock hardened, and I could feel it through his slacks and my jeans.
He breathed into my mouth and pulled me harder into him.
I shook my ass slightly, being a tease.
He bit my lip gently. “Baby…don’t torture me.”
I pulled away and turned around, and then I realized I got flour all over his black suit. “Shit, I’m sorry.” I started to wipe it away but that only made it worse. I knew his clothes were expensive even though he never told me that.
“Hey, it’s fine.” He grabbed my hand and yanked it off his chest. “It’s nothing the drycleaner can’t fix.”
I still felt guilty for making him look like a mess.
“When are you off?” His hands circled my waist and he gripped my hips.
“At five.”
“Well, it’s 4:59. Can you take off early?” He rubbed his nose against mine then stared at my lips.
“I guess I could slack off for once…”
“Good. You work too hard as it is.”
“I have a feeling we’ll be working when we get home…”
He grinned widely, and even his eyes sparkled. “Interesting. I have the same hunch.”
***
“Let’s go to my place.” I pulled him in the opposite direction.
“Why not mine?” he asked. “It’s closer. And frankly, it’s bigger.”
His apartment was far superior to mine. It was in a much nicer neighborhood and the view was to die for. It was the type of apartment you saw in the movies. Mine was barely superior to a janitor’s closet. “But, all my cooking supplies are at my place.”
“I’ve proved to you I can cook.” He yanked me toward him.
There was an entirely different reason why I didn’t want to stay at his place. And it was childish, immature, and stupid. “Let’s just go to my place. Come on, I’m tired of arguing.”
Hawke caught on to my out of place behavior. “Muffin, what is it?”
“Nothing. I just—”
“Don’t bullshit with me.” His eyes smoldered in aggression. He only did that when he was irritated, but he somehow came off as sexy.
I avoided his gaze when I spoke. “I don’t want to fuck on the bed you’ve fucked everyone else on. I know it’s stupid but…it just bothers me.” I hated thinking about all the women who entertained him while I was fighting to breathe. He was mine, even when he wasn’t. I could sleep with him in that bed, but there was no way I could do anything physical without thinking of the others. It was unfair because I’d had men in my bed but I wasn’t giving him the same courtesy.
“You’re right,” he said. “It is stupid.”
My eyes found his.
“But I wouldn’t be fucking you, Francesca. I never fuck you.”
I crossed my arms over my chest.
“It’s
completely different with you and you know that. But if you’re more comfortable at your place, then fine. I’m okay with that.” He snaked his arm around my waist. “Now let’s go.”
***
Hawke took his time getting my clothes off. He peeled them away slowly, removing every article of clothing like it was fragile. More and more of my skin was exposed, and when he saw my bare flesh, his eyes smoldered in desire.
When he unclasped my bra, his mouth moved to the valley between my breasts. He kissed the skin softly, moving his tongue along the sensitive area.
My head rolled back, and I gasped at how good it felt. His tongue touched me in just the right way. My nipples automatically hardened in response. The skin of my chest started to blush in arousal.
Hawke moved his kisses to my neck. He sucked the skin aggressively before he sprinkled it with delicate kisses. Then he made his way to my jawbone, where he followed it all the way to my lips. He gave me a heated kiss, swirling his tongue with mine.
My hands automatically gripped his jacket and yanked it down his arms. He helped me get it off while he continued kissing me. Once it was on the floor, he moved down again. He gripped one tit in his massive hand and sucked the nipple. His tongue moved across it before he blew on it. Then he did it again—and again.
After he loved the other tit, he moved his lips down my stomach. When we reached the skin of my ribs, I automatically arched my back. I was practically writhing on the bed even though we hadn’t even begun.
He kissed my belly button and then my hips. Then he moved down to my jeans where he unbuttoned them and got them off. They slid down my legs until they fell into a heap on the floor.
Hawke held my gaze as he fingered the lace of my thong. Both of his hands touched the material on either side of my hips. A hungry look was in his eyes as he slowly pulled the lace down my thighs. He had the resistance to go slow. I didn’t have a clue where he found the willpower.
When my panties hit the floor, he pressed his lips to the skin beneath my belly button and moved down, inching his way closer to the center of my arousal. As he moved lower, my breathing became deep and raspy. My body ached for release, and not just from anybody, but from him.
When his lips pressed against my clitoris, I practically screamed.
So. Good.
Hawke kissed the area like it was my mouth, using his tongue to smother it with love. His tongue moved inside me before it returned to my clitoris. My back arched because my nerves were firing endlessly. It was just so damn good. Hawke used to do this to me all the time, and I couldn’t believe I actually forgot how incredible it was.
I felt my core clench tightly as the unbridled passion took over. I was on the edge of an amazing high. Part of me wanted it desperately, but another part resisted it. “Hawke…I’m going to come.”
He sucked my clitoris harder.
“That’s not what I meant.” I scooted myself away from his lips. That wasn’t how I wanted to convulse. I wanted him inside me, not his tongue. I wanted our bodies to be joined together, his massive, sweaty, and yummy chest on top of mine.
He didn’t move on top of me. He stayed where he was, completely clothed.
What the hell was he doing? “Come here.”
He remained kneeling at the bed. “I’d rather stay here.” He dragged my hips back to him, and his mouth was on me again.
The wave of pleasure overtook me, and I fell back as the writhing goodness spread through my body again. Hawke was making me feel amazing, and I wanted to make him feel the same way. “Hawke, stop.”
“I know you don’t mean that, Muffin.” He kept going.
Somehow, I found the strength to pull away. “Make love to me.”
His lips were shiny from juice, and his hair was messed up where I gripped it. His collared shirt was still on, but his tie was loosened around the neck. “I am.”
I pulled his tie then began unbuttoning his shirt. “If I go, I want you to go with me.”
He watched me undress him, his eyes never leaving my face.
I pushed his shirt off and saw his rock-hard chest.
“No.”
I flinched in response. “No, what?”
“I don’t want to rush into this.”
“There’s nothing to rush into. You better not make me wait like last time.” That was pure torture.
“Sorry, Muffin.”
“Give me one good reason why.” I knew I was acting like a brat but I didn’t care.
He held my gaze for a full minute without speaking. “Because we have the rest of our lives.” He pushed me back onto the bed then pressed his face between my legs. He kissed me and did amazing things with his tongue. Then he brought me to the edge, making me whimper in pleasure.
My nails dug into the sheets, and I held on as the orgasm rocked through me. Everything was on fire, but I loved the burn. “Hawke…” I kept saying his name over and over, living out my greatest fantasy. The man between my legs was the only man I’d ever loved, and he was on his knees pleasing me. My back ached because I was arching it so strenuously, and I was trying to keep my legs apart so they wouldn’t press against his head.
Hawke kept kissing me as I winded down. My body slowly relaxed as the high disappeared. His hands gripped my hips as he lavished me down below.
“Hawke.”
He moved back onto the balls of his feet. “Francesca.”
I sat up and undid his slacks, knocking my knuckles against the hard definition of his abs. The fabric started to slide down, and I yanked on his boxers. Once he was naked, I leaned down to press my lips against his tip.
But he stopped me. He threw me back then guided me up the bed. “I’d rather kiss you.”
“Why?”
“Because I love it.” He pulled my naked body against his and leaned toward me.
“I’d rather please you the way you like.”
“There will be time for that later.” He tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’d rather kiss you like a teenager in high school. It’s amateurish and anti-climactic, but I love it. I want to do it for the rest of the night, and as soon as you shut up, I’ll get started.”
I zipped my lips.
New Look
Hawke
Want to play ball after work? Axel texted me at the end of the workday.
Can’t. Have a hot date.
He texted back quicker than I could put my phone down. With who?
Who do you think?
He stopped texting me and called me instead. “You guys are back together?”
“You know, you don’t look like a girl but you sure act like one.”
Axel ignored the jab. “Answer the question.”
I smiled and felt odd doing it. Smiling wasn’t in my nature—unless Francesca was involved. “Yeah.”
“Why did she take you back?”
“I think I proved how sorry I was.” And I showed her I would never leave her again.
“Can I tell Marie?”
I laughed into the phone. “I’m sure she already knows.”
“If she does, she hasn’t told me yet,” he said. “Can you do me a favor and not fuck it up this time?” His tone was teasing, but it was clear he was being serious.
“I won’t.”
“Good. So, basketball?”
“I told you I’m going out with Francesca.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot. Looks like you’ll be busy from this point onward…”
“I’m sure I can squeeze you in if you don’t piss me off.”
“What are you guys doing?”
“I’m taking her out to a fancy dinner.”
“And then?”
Axel was a little slow sometimes. “I have a surprise for her at my apartment.”
Axel steered clear of the topic once he understood what I meant. “Well, I’m happy for you. You guys are the most complicated people I know, which is why I think you should stick together.”
“I think we should stick together for a lot of reasons.�
��
“Well, I’ll see you later.”
“Bye.”
***
When I picked her up, she was wearing a tight navy blue dress that pushed her tits together and made a noticeable cleavage line.
Lucky me.
I whistled quietly. “You look nice.”
“Thanks.” She placed her clutch under her arm. “You look nice too.” She pressed her body to mine and gave me a long kiss. When her tits were pressed against me like that, my mind thought of things I shouldn’t. I suspected that was her goal, and she succeeded.
I ended the touch and put my arm around her waist. “Hungry?”
“Always. You know me.”
I pulled her to my side and felt the happiness wash over me. I had the girl of my dreams on my arm, and everything in the world was right again. When I had her, nothing could bring me down. I was exactly where I should be, and I could be myself when I was with her.
“I missed you today.”
“Yeah?” I asked. “I always miss you.”
“Always?” she pressed.
“Yeah.” I was being dead serious. The entire time I was without her, she was all I ever thought about.
“So, when you went home this morning, did you miss me then?” She walked beside me, her heels clanking against the ground.
I knew what she was referring to. I went down on her and made her come in my mouth, but I hadn’t let her do the same to me. I was so hard up for her but couldn’t find a release. “I did.”
“Did you jerk off in the shower?”
That statement brought me back to our time together in the past. She said it turned her on when I touched myself in the shower, and hearing her say that made my dick hard. “Yeah.”
“Did you think about me?”
“I always think about you.” I placed a kiss on the shell of her ear.
“I would have loved to see that.”
She was flirting with me, and she was doing a good job. My dick was hard in my jeans, and I kept thinking about how sweet her pussy tasted. “I’ll show you sometime.”
“Yeah? I’ll hold you to it.”
“I hope you do.”
We reached the restaurant and took our seats. I ordered a bottle of wine for the table, and after I glanced at my menu and decided what I wanted, I stared at her. It was a favorite pastime of mine. She had the most beautiful features but she was never vain about them. But she wasn’t oblivious to her charms either.
