Bringing Maddie Home

by Janice Kay Johnson

  He grilled her on what she’d seen of the vehicle and she was embarrassed to admit that she couldn’t even swear it was an SUV versus a pickup with a canopy, and no, she wasn’t absolutely positive it was black, only that it was a dark color. And no, she hadn’t caught even a glimpse of a license plate.

  “I was just so scared,” she explained. “And it was snowing and...”

  “Getting out of the way was a lot more important than trying to see a license plate. Hey.” He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her instead.

  After a stiff moment, Nell let herself relax against him, laying her head against his chest, broad and solid. A bubble of laughter arose, and when he cocked his head to look at her face, she had to explain what Emily said about men preferring to have a dainty woman instead of an Amazon.

  He chuckled. “Can’t say I ever thought one way or another about a woman’s height.”

  Of course she now burned with self-consciousness, because she’d implied he was cuddling her for, well, romantic reasons rather than simple reassurance. But he seemed to be rubbing his cheek against her hair even though it was still damp, and his big hand was gently kneading her shoulder. And did police officers make a habit of cuddling citizens even if they had just had a close call?

  He let out a sigh. “Damn,” he murmured. “I’m sorry, Nell. I got you into this.”

  Like another slap of snow in the face, he’d managed to remind her of his oversize sense of responsibility and, yes, his need to win, or maybe only find answers. One or the other of which had kept him looking for her all these years.

  She didn’t look at him when she straightened. After a moment, his arm fell away from her. She knew he was watching her, but she made a production of picking up her mug and taking a sip. Nell tried to think of something to say, then remembered she did have one more thing to ask him about.

  “Emily and Hailey told me something.” Finally she did turn her head and met his eyes. “They said I had a boyfriend, I guess right before I disappeared.”

  His gaze sharpened. “Did they say who?”

  “Only that his name was Beck, Emily thinks. She says she told an officer who interviewed her back then, so it should be in the reports somewhere. He wasn’t a student at the high school. I said he was on his own, like maybe a dropout. Or I guess he could have been older, like a community college student?” But Nell couldn’t imagine herself at only fifteen hooking up with a guy in college. “For some reason, I didn’t want to introduce him to my friends, but she did see him once when she ran into us by accident. She said he looked wary.”

  “I read your file not long ago. I’d swear there was nothing about a boyfriend.”

  She shrugged. “It may not mean anything. I might have only met him the week before or something, but... How?” she blurted. “I was shy! And I could never have told my mother. Can you imagine?”

  “No.” He was scrutinizing her the same way he had that night at the library, before he’d introduced himself. As if she were a...a victim, or a suspect. It was disconcerting. What was it police spokespersons always said? A person of interest. Not a woman he’d tugged into his arms a minute ago.

  “You don’t remember him.”

  “No.” Why did that sound defiant? Maybe because she had one of those creepy feelings, as if a ghost had brushed her. If she pushed up her sleeves, would she have goose bumps? “I was shocked when they told me.”

  All he did was watch her.

  “You don’t believe me,” Nell said indignantly.

  “I believe you.” But he said it slowly enough, she didn’t believe him.

  “I really don’t remember him,” she insisted. Only...it didn’t come out as strongly as she’d intended.

  One of Colin’s eyebrows quirked.

  Dismayed, Nell looked down to realize she’d wrapped her arms tightly against her torso and was squeezing. Hugging herself for comfort.

  “I don’t,” she said again. Third time’s the charm. Except the theory didn’t work.

  “What is it, Nell?” It was the deep, tender tone that got to her, as it did every time.

  “When Emily said that,” she told him in a low voice, “about me having a boyfriend, I was surprised but also really anxious.”

  “Thinking about him scared you.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment. “Yes.”

  “Then we’ll have to find out why.” He sounded practical and calm, exactly what she needed.

  “How can we? What if he was really on his own, like a runaway?”

  “I doubt he was, at least in the sense you mean. I gave this some thought not long ago. We don’t have street people in Angel Butte, and there’s good reason. Winters are too damn cold. Admittedly, there wasn’t any snow on the ground when you disappeared. Even so, where would this guy have been sleeping? If he’d been homeless, he’d have been dirty, probably stunk. Would that have appealed to you?”

  She was shaking her head before he finished. “No, I probably wouldn’t have let him get near me.”

  “So this Beck had to be living somewhere he could take showers, wash his clothes. He might have been staying with a friend, who introduced you.”

  She’d never hated more the giant empty whiteboard in her head where there should be a colorful riot of memories, impressions, life. All she could do was shake her head. Was Beck one of those bad things her brain was determined to block out?

  “Tomorrow, I’ll look to find out what Emily said at the time, and what was done to locate this guy.”

  Nell nodded, hopefully maintaining her dignity. “Thank you.”

  He frowned at her. “You look beat.”

  “It’s been an eventful day.”

  “Yeah, it has.” Again he made one of those lightning assessments. “How do you feel?”

  Nell had to think about it. “Better. The ibuprofen helped, I think. The hot bath, too.”

  “You do know you’re going to hurt come morning, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Think you can sleep?”

  “Probably.” Which would bring dreams. If only she could remember them better. She suffered from chronic nightmares that she suspected had to do with whatever had happened here in Angel Butte, but she couldn’t be sure because the images always faded no matter how hard she tried to hang on to them. Tonight’s near disaster was bound to make a nightmare surface.

  Lines gathered on his forehead again. “Did you tell your friends where you’re staying?”

  The question kicked up her pulse. “No. I only said I’d gotten an apartment and Hailey said cool, that meant I was staying for a while.”

  His face relaxed. “Good. Let’s keep it that way.”

  “Someone could follow me.”

  “They could. Keep an eye out. Whenever you’re on your way back here, take a few extra turns and make sure no other vehicle is making them with you.”

  Nell almost laughed, remembering her frantic efforts to shake any pursuit that night after he’d confronted her in the library parking lot and said, I know you.

  “I can do that.”

  She could tell she had made him curious, but he chose not to ask, only nodded and repeated, “Good. I’ll walk you over to the apartment.”

  He was probably desperate to get rid of her. There was no reason whatsoever to feel hurt at the thought.

  “Here I’ve consumed another one of your evenings,” she said in chagrin. “I’m sorry.”

  He lifted her chin, and Nell realized she’d been hiding behind the fall of hair. I’m not like that, she thought, and wondered if she were reverting to the more introverted teenager she must have been. Shy was okay, a coward wasn’t.

  A spark that might have been anger lit his eyes. “I’d have been upset if you hadn’t come straight here.”

&n
bsp; She swallowed with difficulty. “Message received.”

  His eyes narrowed, but he let her go. Only, it felt as if he were caressing her as pulled his hand back. It was all she could do not to turn her head to maintain the contact. Even...nuzzle a tiny bit.

  They stared at each other for a moment. Nell had no idea what he was thinking. Her heart was pounding hard, but not in fear. Something more unnerving yet was happening to her.

  “You ready?” he asked roughly.

  Ready? For an instant she didn’t understand what he meant. Or maybe she wanted to think he meant... Oh, God. Her cheeks warmed. What was wrong with her?

  “Yes.” She shot to her feet. “Do you have a plastic grocery bag I can put all my soggy clothes in?”

  For a beat, he didn’t move. She could swear there was heat in his eyes—probably the reason for the glow she could feel on her cheeks.

  Then he moved his shoulders as if to ease tension, and at the same time managed to erase from his face whatever he’d been feeling. “I’ll get one.”

  He kept his distance on the walk to the apartment door, staying several feet away as she unlocked. “You didn’t say what your plans are for tomorrow.”

  “I’ve gotten a couple more names of people who should remember me pretty well. I’ll try to talk to them. I also thought...” She hesitated. “I want to go to the park. I need to see where it happened.”

  He closed the distance and gripped her arm. “Not alone, Nell.”

  “I actually was hoping you could take a few minutes,” she admitted.

  “Of course I can. Call me when you’re ready.”

  Nell nodded, feeling shaky again. “Yes. All right.”

  He looked down at her, his eyes shadowed in the artificial light. Then he nodded and let her go. “Good night, Nell.”

  “Good night.” She whisked inside, locked the door behind her, and started up the stairs to the small apartment that didn’t feel nearly as safe as it had before somebody had tried to kill her.

  CHAPTER NINE

  COLIN REACHED INTO the box and realized it was empty. He’d removed and scrutinized every last scrap of paper. Damn. How could this be?

  A good deal of information on the investigation into Maddie’s disappearance was computerized, so he’d started there. When he didn’t find what he was looking for, he retrieved from the basement the box that held, in theory, all police and lab reports as well as any notes taken by investigators as they conducted interviews. All standard. If this were being opened as a cold case, a detective ought to be able to go through this box and come out of it knowing everything investigators at the time had known.

  Missing was any reference to Maddie having a boyfriend at all, never mind his name.

  In fact, there was no indication anyone had talked to Emily Henson at all after that first, preliminary interview the day after Maddie vanished. Colin had found Duane’s notes from a later talk with Hailey Allen. Was it Duane who’d screwed up? Or had he assigned someone else to hit up Emily again? Or, hell, had some member of the clerical staff spilled her coffee on what appeared to be an unimportant piece of paper and chose to toss it?

  He was brooding when Nell called to let him know she was free for the rest of the afternoon. He asked if they could have lunch, and she suggested her friend Hailey’s place.

  “Give me fifteen or twenty minutes,” he said. “I have one call to make before I leave.”

  That call was to Duane, who reacted explosively to the news that a potentially crucial piece of information had gone missing from one of his investigations.

  “A boyfriend,” he muttered. “A guy older than her, someone nobody knew. Damn it, I know I had somebody go back and talk to the Henson girl! I just can’t remember who.” He grunted. “Please tell me Maddie remembers him.”

  “No.” Colin didn’t say, but mention of his name scares the shit out of her.

  “Why are you poking around in this?” Duane asked. “She’s home.”

  “Because I don’t like leaving it hanging. The very fact that she’s home could make somebody nervous.” He hesitated. “She had a near miss last night, Duane. Could have been an accident, but it could as well have been deliberate. She was crossing the street and was almost hit.”

  Duane swore. “I hadn’t thought. I should have. Hell. Did she see enough to give you a lead?”

  “Unfortunately, no.” In what might seem like a non sequitur, he commented on the rising temperature. “Sounds like we might get a week or two above freezing.”

  Duane knew what he was thinking. “The crew is back to work at the park this morning. The pile shouldn’t be in too bad shape. We had tarps spread over it.”

  “Good,” Colin said. “Keep me on top of it. Hey. You haven’t seen Maddie yet, have you?”

  “I didn’t want to push it. The poor kid has a lot to take in.”

  “Not a kid anymore.”

  Silence. “No. Damn, I still think of her...” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m going to try to make it to dinner at Helen’s tonight.”

  Oh, right. Of course Duane had been invited. “Good enough,” Colin said, and they signed off.

  At least that investigation could move forward, he thought, leaving his office. He wished he thought they’d uncover something that would allow them to identify the victim.

  He got lucky and found parking half a block from the café, where he’d eaten a number of times. He’d even seen the small plump woman who ran it. Guessing what color her hair would be in any given week amused him. He’d never heard her name, though, and had had no idea that she was connected to Maddie Dubeau.

  Just the sight of Nell waiting for him gave him a jolt of pleasure. She must have just walked in, because her cheeks and nose were pink and her hair was messy, making him guess she’d worn a hat. She was trying to finger-comb it when she felt the draft from the open door and saw him.

  “Hi,” she said, a little shyly, not at all as if he were the man who’d carried her to the bath last night.

  Or maybe exactly because he had lifted her into his arms and seen her without her shirt. In a bra that had lived up to his expectations after he’d caught that glimpse of her socks. Picturing the saucy little bra and all that smooth, creamy skin made him wonder what she was wearing today beneath the too-sacky sweater.

  He didn’t know what he said, but was glad to be seated immediately. He was good at controlling his facial expressions, but apparently not as good at suppressing his physical reaction to the woman who was trying to hide inside those boring clothes.

  Damn it, why her? he asked himself, disturbed.

  He had no answer, but couldn’t tear his gaze from her face.

  Nell and he were halfway through lunch when her friend Hailey appeared to give him the once-over, which he withstood with good humor. He liked that she felt protective. He watched when she returned to the kitchen, then looked back at Nell.

  “You’re still planning to have dinner with your parents tonight?”

  “Yes, Mom called.” She sounded carefully neutral.

  He only nodded, despite feeling a pang of regret. Sometimes he enjoyed having dinner with a woman, but a cancellation never bothered him, either. The time with Nell had been different. Sharing his house, having her seem at home in his kitchen. Talking as if they were old friends, if not more.

  He wanted to be more, but was still convinced that would be a mistake. Nell was Maddie, which made any relationship between them complicated. Made her complicated. God knew this wasn’t a good point in her life.

  She’d progressed to pushing bits of a lemon pastry around her plate. He suspected at best Nell wasn’t a big eater, but as little as he’d seen her actually put in her mouth and swallow, Colin worried she was going to start dropping weight she couldn’t afford to lose. He’d seen the same wor
ry in her friend Hailey’s eyes as she brought them the flaky treats on plates and said, “No, don’t argue, these are on me.”

  “You’d better eat that,” he said, nodding at her plate. “You don’t want to hurt Hailey’s feelings.”

  She wrinkled her nose at him, then stole a look toward the kitchen. “Oh, fine,” she muttered, and took a bite.

  Colin hid his smile, sipping coffee while she ate the melt-in-your-mouth pastry with resignation.

  Over lunch she’d told him about the two people she’d succeeded in talking to today. One had been a neighbor girl who had babysat Maddie and her brother when they were younger. She’d cried when she saw Nell. The other had been her fifth-grade teacher, who had been especially caring. When Nell talked, he could see how much it meant to her to have people welcome her with honest joy.

  He could only ask himself again what in hell was wrong with her parents.

  He left money on the table that included a generous tip when he and Nell left.

  “Why don’t I drive? I’ll drop you back here to pick up your car when we’re done.”

  “Yes, fine.” She waited while he unlocked. “I think I’ll go shopping this afternoon. I need some new boots. Maybe some more warm clothes. I didn’t bring that much with me.”

  As he drove, he tried to keep her from dwelling on where they were going. Coming up with questions to ask was easy enough. He seemed to be unendingly curious about her.

  She couldn’t afford skiing, but admitted to having gone ice-skating with some friends once and discovered she knew the basics. “Is there a rink here?” she asked.

  “A couple of the resorts have them. I don’t know about your father’s.”

  She gazed ahead, her forehead crinkling. “I don’t think so, but...I’m not sure.”

  His sidelong look took in the clench she had on the seat belt where it crossed her chest. Clearly his diversionary tactics hadn’t been a complete success.

  With the rising temperature the slush on the road was more water than ice. The forecast was for more of the same. If Nell wasn’t too upset, he might take a minute to walk over to the scene where the bones had been found.