Alissa did indeed hold her mother’s arm tightly, as they waited to enter the room where the ceremony was to take place. The first notes of “Makin’ Memories of Us” by Keith Urban came through the speakers. “This is it,” Alissa said.
“This is it,” said Mom.
From where they stood behind the door, Alissa could see the small wedding party gathered in front of the big stone fireplace. There were pretty chairs in two neat rows. Mitch and Hailey went first, walking down the aisle created by two rows of brown paper lanterns.
When Mitch and Hailey were tucked on either side of the black-robed pastor, Alissa and Mom entered. Everyone turned to watch, all smiling. They’re here for us, Alissa thought. There was no reason to be nervous. She’d waited for this moment all her life.
Through the big windows, the snow and mountains made a glorious setting, but she had only eyes for her groom.
Jed wore a suit in soft gray and a dusty-blue tie that matched Hailey’s dress. Alissa’s stomach fluttered when they locked eyes. He wiped at his eyes with a tissue, as she and Mom moved toward the small wedding party.
When they reached Jed, Mom took both her hands, then kissed her softly on the cheek. “I love you, sweetie.” She turned to Jed. “You’re part of our family now. No matter what, we’re here for you. Now, take good care of my girl.”
“Always,” Jed said.
Mom took her seat next to Nan.
“You look like a princess,” Jed whispered in her ear.
She smiled up at him. “You look nice too.”
The pastor cleared his throat. “Thank you for being here today, to celebrate and witness the union of Jed Marsh and Alissa Mann Kirby. They’ve written their own vows, which they will now recite.”
Alissa had written vows last week but in all the confusion, she’d left them behind. It didn’t matter. She knew what she wanted to say.
“Jed, I’ve never known a better man. You’re a gentleman, kind and compassionate, and so very generous. From the first day, you’ve made me feel cherished. Your innate goodness has made me want to be a better person. I could not ask for a finer man to spend the rest of my life with. I hope God blesses us with many years together, making memories. I promise to be your wife and best friend. I vow to never let anything or anyone come between us. I’ll always be honest and keep no secrets from you. I’ll be your biggest champion and fan. Together, we will build a life we’re proud of.”
Jed’s eyes had filled while she spoke. He released one of her hands to reach into his pocket for a tissue. “Alissa, I never knew there was such a thing as love at first sight, until I saw your face for the first time. I knew you were the woman I’d been searching for. Yes, I’m a romantic. I’ve been accused of believing too much in the power of love to right what’s wrong. I lost sight of that for a moment this week, but I won’t again. As you say, no matter how hard anyone or anything wants us apart, our bond is too strong. I’ll be here for you from this day forward. Whatever comes our way, we’ll face it together. I love you more than even our favorite country songs could convey.”
Alissa giggled through the lump at the back of her throat.
“I can’t believe it’s me you chose,” Jed said. “But I promise to spend the rest of my life making sure you don’t regret your choice.”
“Now, we’ll have the bride and groom exchange rings,” the pastor said.
Alissa took the ring from Hailey’s outstretched hand. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
Jed did the same with the ring from Mitch. “With this ring, I thee wed.”
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. Everyone, I present Mr. and Mrs. Marsh.”
A roar erupted, much louder than the small crowd warranted.
“You may now kiss,” the pastor said.
They did so, lingering for longer than they should on this first kiss as a married couple. When they looked up, Alissa saw that there was not a dry eye in the group.
“Let’s party,” Alissa said. “I’m starving.”
Jed grinned and took her hand. “Lead the way, beautiful wife.”
As Alissa lay in her groom’s arms in the early morning, when the world was still dark, she woke and listened to him breathe. She thought of all the twists and turns of her life, and how they led her to this man. An image of her mother and father on a Christmas morning when she was six or seven came to her. They’d sat on the couch holding hands and watched her open presents. Someday, she’d thought then, I’ll have a love like they do. I’ll have a handsome husband and babies of my own.
Someday was now. Her mother and father were still with her, watching over her. There were many joyous times to come with her sisters, Mom and Nan.
She shifted to snuggle closer to him. He pulled her close and murmured her name. She drifted off, warm and safe. Someday was now.
Chapter 10
The honeymoon was like a wonderful dream. Each day sparkled with joy as they basked in the warmth of their love. And the cabin? It was like something out of a storybook. Dark walls and a stone fireplace plus a darling kitchen were perfect for their first days as a married couple. During the days, they traipsed around the property on snowshoes, falling often but laughing more. In the afternoons, they’d get in the hot tub with just their heads and faces exposed until they were too hot and had to get out and shower together. Which led to some afternoon bedroom time. Evenings were spent cooking together or eating takeout from the lodge. After dark, they poured wine and curled up in front of the fire.
One night, four days into married life, they sat on the couch holding hands. The gas fireplace cast a warm glow over the room as they shared a bottle of Washington Syrah. A small plastic tree sparkled with white lights.
“I’ve been thinking about my childhood,” Jed said, surprising her. They hadn’t spent much time talking about his parents, almost like they had an unsaid agreement to stay away from the subject. However, it was bound to come up. His parents, whether or not they were physically present, were part of their lives. One never escaped their childhood. It lived inside, affecting everything one did or thought. “I don’t know why but I can’t stop remembering things. Moments I haven’t thought of for years and years.”
“Like what?”
“We used to go to somewhere tropical every year. I’d spend most of the time with our nanny while my parents golfed with friends or whatever. I always dreamed of a place like this. With snow and fires at night. With family.”
“My family is yours now,” Alissa said.
“Do you think they forgive me yet? Like for real?” He let go of her hand to scoot forward for his glass of wine.
“Yes, even Stevie.” Alissa cringed, remembering the mutilated cake tops. That story would definitely become family lore. “She just loves me so fiercely and you too. We made her believe in love and when we shattered, it shattered her too.”
“I hope she’ll trust me again.” His voice shook before he took a sip from his glass, then set it back on the table. “After everything you girls went through, I hate to think I caused her pain.”
“It’s okay. That’s not how we do things in our family. We do second chances and forgiveness and a whole lot of grace. The expectation of perfection is not there. Look at how Mom reacted to my big secret. I feel dumb now.”
He brushed his knuckles against her cheek. “Until I met you, I never knew what it felt like to be safe or loved unconditionally.”
“Oh, Jed, that makes me sad.”
His eyes misted over as he moved his gaze back to the fire. “I can remember being ten years old. My father and I were on the way home from a basketball game. I’d played poorly and he berated me the entire ten miles home. My focus was crap. I looked like a toddler out there compared to the other kids. I’d embarrassed him in front of the other parents. People felt sorry for me and Marshes were never to be pitied. By then, I’d started to cry, all slumped in the back seat. Then, more furious than I’d ever seen him, he called me a crybaby.” Jed’s voice cracked. “He
never came to another one of my games.”
Her chest ached with pity and rage. How dare he do that to a little boy? Especially one like Jed, who Alissa knew did nothing but give one hundred percent to everything he tried. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m so sorry.” Tears prickled her own eyes as she tried to get control of her emotions.
“When my mom pulled that stunt before the wedding—it was like I was that ten-year-old kid again…feeling like I was a worthless piece of crap. The very last thing I wanted was to drag you into that place too. I couldn’t bear to think they’d ever hurt you like they did me.” He turned back to her. “Your family isn’t like anyone I’ve ever known. The way they accepted me back into the fold despite what happened. I’m so humbled by it. So grateful.” Tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. “Baby, I’m broken. That’s just the truth. I’m still that little boy in here.” He tapped his chest. “I want so badly to be everything you need but sometimes I wonder if I have it in me.”
“You’re already everything to me. I don’t need you to be strong all the time. I simply need you to be real. To choose me over everyone else. We’re a team now. I want to see your brokenness and be there with you in the dark places. Just as you will be there for me. Together we can make a life we’re proud of. There will be no doubt about how much I love you or how worthy you are of my love.”
He kissed her softly, then smoothed stray hair from her face. “You’re so good and beautiful. I’m scared all the time that I’m going to let you down. I want everything perfect for you.”
“No one’s life is ever perfect,” Alissa said. “The beauty’s found in life’s imperfections. When my parents died, I was devastated. I didn’t think I’d ever feel joy again. And then Maddie found me and gave me a new home and sisters. Out of all that tragedy—both mine and hers—grew love. Such tremendous love from all the broken places in each of us. Together, life became beautiful again.”
“Here in this quiet place, I can see how my life has been a dead run just all the time.” He closed his eyes. “I was tired and so weary of the rat race and expectations of my parents. Except for the moments with you, life was nothing but obligation. You gave me life. Woke me up. Made me realize what I really want.”
“What is that?”
“I want a simple life. A family with you. And I’m wondering—what if we moved here? We could be close to your family. Once we have kids, we’ll have them to share the experience with.”
“Move here? But what about work?”
“You could get a teaching job here, couldn’t you? I mean, maybe not right away but eventually.”
“What would we live on?”
He grinned. “I’ve got some money stashed away. A lot, actually.”
“But you love your house.”
“We can find something here that we like just as much. This way, we’ll pick it out together.”
“I’d like to be closer to Mom and Nan. I love the seasons and the beauty.”
“Is that a yes?”
She picked up their glasses and handed one to him. “Yes, Mr. Marsh. Here’s to the future.”
“To you, Mrs. Marsh.”
They clinked glasses but instead of finishing their bottle, they headed for the bedroom.
On the second to the last day of the honeymoon and the last day of the year, Alissa woke feeling slightly nauseous. Her breasts were sore as well. She must be about to have her period. When had she had the last one? She couldn’t remember, given the trauma before the wedding. Since then, she’d been too busy loving on Jed to think of it at all.
Could she be pregnant?
She crept out of the warm bed, leaving Jed to sleep, and wandered out of the bedroom to the bathroom. Normally, coffee sounded good the moment she woke, but for some reason this morning the idea turned her stomach. Could she get into town to buy a test before Jed woke?
She mulled this idea over while brushing her teeth and changing into leggings and a sweater. Yes, she would go into town and get a pregnancy test. She was probably just late because of the stress of the wedding.
After looking in to see that Jed was still asleep, she wrote him a quick note that she was headed into town for a few things. Then, she grabbed his set of keys and crept out of the cabin. As she drove the icy road to town, she went back and forth. Did she want to be pregnant? There was so much uncertainty about their life right now. There was the house to sell back in Seattle. Jed’s job search. Her job search. A new house. Moving.
She took in a deep breath to steady her nerves. If she were pregnant, they would deal with it. Mom would be thrilled. So would Hailey.
Feeling like a teenager, she couldn’t make eye contact with the clerk as she put the test on the counter. Why hadn’t she grabbed a few other items to make it less obvious? She scanned the other people in line, praying none of her sisters were out for an early-morning shopping spree.
All the way back to the cabin, she went back and forth on what Jed would think. By the time she entered the cabin, she’d decided there was no way she was pregnant. They used birth control. She was just late.
Jed was frying up bacon in the small kitchen. “Hey, what did you get? Pancake mix by any chance? I’m craving them.”
“Um, no.” She clutched the paper sack to her chest. The smell of the bacon was making her feel even sicker. Was she going to vomit on her honeymoon?
“What then?” He turned down the burner and strode over to where she was still standing just inside the door. “Are you all right? You have a strange look on your face.”
She dropped the sack and ran for the bathroom, narrowly making it to the toilet before she threw up. When she was done, she flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth. She looked at herself in the mirror. White as a ghost. Maybe she just had the flu.
When she returned to the main room, Jed was standing by the couch with the pregnancy test in his hand. “Alissa?” His eyes were wide and not exactly frightened but nervous. “What’s happening right now?”
“I’m late.”
He took in a deep breath. “Okay, then. So, we might have had a shotgun wedding.”
She nodded. “We might have.”
He came around the couch and thrust the test into her hands. “Do it. We have to know.”
With a trembling hand, she took the test and went back to the bathroom. She shut the door behind her and sat on the toilet. Her hands continued to shake as she opened the box and pulled out the small wand. There were two in there. Good. Better accuracy. Too nervous to pee on demand, she had to wait a moment for the stream to start, then stuck it under there.
“Are you done?” Jed said from behind the door.
“Hang on.” She set the wand on the counter, then wiped and pulled up her leggings. After washing her hands, she glanced at the wand. Two pink lines had already appeared.
“What’s it say?” Jed asked, still on the other side of the door. “Can I come in?”
“Yes, come in.”
A second later, he stood beside her, looking down at the wand. “Two lines means yes, right?”
Alissa simply nodded, her mouth too dry to speak.
“We’re having a baby.” He grinned as he wrapped his hands around her shoulders. “A baby.”
“Oh my God. A baby.”
He let out a whoop and twirled her around in a circle. “You’re having my baby.”
“Don’t. No more turning. I think I might be sick again.”
He immediately went still. She broke away and headed for the toilet. Kneeling over the porcelain god, she whispered, “Get the bacon out of the cabin.”
“On it.”
Chapter 11
All night with her sisters and mom, she carried her little secret around. She would announce it during their toasts, not at dinner. Jed had discreetly asked the staff to pour her a glass of sparkling cider to keep anyone from noticing that she wasn’t having real champagne.
When it was time for the toasts, she quickly realized she wasn’t the only one with a big
fat secret. Her mother and sisters, one by one, introduced their new partners. “How did this happen while we were at the cabin?” she asked.
Stevie’s eyes twinkled. “Mine started a long time ago. This was more like the second act.”
“Love’s in the air,” Hailey said.
“Or in the snow or something,” Mom said, eyes shining.
“It’s just dumb luck,” Stevie said, rolling her eyes.
“Or fate.” Jo grinned back at her sister.
Alissa could weep with joy for all of them. She’d never seen her sisters glow as brightly. This was what they looked like in love, she thought. It was about time they all had what she had with Jed.
“Alissa, it’s your turn,” Mom said.
Alissa lifted her glass of cider. “Well, as it turns out—our wedding was actually quite necessary for more reasons than just being madly in love and wanting to spend the rest of our lives together.”
Mom cocked her head. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that by this time next year, there will be a baby added to our family,” Alissa said.
Mom’s hands flew to her mouth. “I’m going to be a grandma?”
Nan, also beaming, pulled Alissa into a hug. “And I’m going to be a great-nan.”
“This is amazing,” Stevie said, gruffly. “You’re going to be the best mom ever.”
“You totally will be,” Hailey said. “I can’t wait to be an auntie.”
“Me too,” Jo said. “You’re both going to be terrific parents.”
After hugs from everyone, including a tearful Hailey, who held her for an extra beat, Jed raised his hand. “We have other news. We’ve decided to move here to be with you all.”
Stevie shrieked. “You guys too? This is amazing.”
Hailey grabbed Alissa into yet another hug. “This is a dream come true. We’ll be together again.”
“Like we should be,” Alissa whispered in her ear.
“What made you decide?” Mom asked.
Christmas Rings Page 10
