Unfinished Dreams

by McIntyre, Amanda

The woman merely nodded. The most hostility they ever saw in the office was when the pop machine wouldn’t return change.

  “He’s harmless, really,” she called over her shoulder hoping the woman hadn’t already called security.

  She held her hands over her face as she stood waiting. Her thoughts swirled in her head like a muddy river whose current she could not keep up with. Too distraught even for tears, the dismal possibility that she’d lost Gabe forever created a hollow pit in her stomach. In the next instant, her very heart betrayed her. Did she ever have him in the first place? Was he just biding his time until she gave up her country playtime and went back to the city? Using her money to clean up what would eventually be his farm again?

  The doors lurched opened and she stepped into the empty cubicle. Hugging her arms, she leaned back against the wall. The elevator seemed to take its own sweet time and by the time it reached the ground floor, she knew he was gone.

  As she moved numbly toward the reception desk in her stocking feet, the woman there gave her a quick appraisal from head to foot before she spoke, “Ms. Graham? Are you all right? You seem to have,” the woman glanced to Tess’s feet, “lost your shoes?”

  Tess ignored the remark, her eyes searching the lobby, then the revolving doors. “There was a cowboy, he wore a black Stetson—” Her words were interrupted by the woman’s obvious admiration.

  “Yes, handsome devil too. Took off out of here like—”

  Tess met her gaze and saw the sympathy soften the woman’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Ms. Graham.” Her voice was kind.

  “Yeah, me too.” Tess felt drained. Suddenly disoriented, not sure what to do next. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered her purse was still upstairs. Everything pressed in on her at once, and she wanted to run screaming out of the building, but she clung tightly to the only thing left in her—logic. She looked at the woman’s crossword in the newspaper she was holding. “May I have your classifieds section?”

  Startled at first, the woman stared at the paper on her desk. “Well, here, hon, take the whole thing. I was finished anyway.” The woman gave her a motherly smile. “I hope everything turns out.”

  Tess smiled sadly, humor speaking over the pain that had already sliced open a deep wound in her heart. “I don’t think that‘s the cowboy that I’m going to ride off into the sunset with.”

  * * *

  Tess sat on the porch watching as the v-shaped pattern of geese flew overhead. Winter was coming quickly and along with it the realization that she would be leaving this all behind. She looked at the airplane ticket in her hand. Tomorrow she would fly to Kansa City for a new job interview. Jack promised he would straighten out the eviction situation, stating he’d have the best lawyers on it. Knowing it was more to cover his own butt, Tess was grateful that at least Gabe would get back his farm.

  She closed her eyes, remembering the carefree look of desire as he’d held her. It seemed so real to her then, but perhaps she was too caught up in what she wanted to see. God knows her track record with men ran along those same lines.

  It was two weeks since Gabe had walked into Jack’s office and misinterpreted what he saw. Tess reasoned with herself. If there’d been any real foundation between them, he would have listened at least, or tried to find out her side of the story. He’d done neither and it was time to come to grips with a chilling realization. It was time to move on with her life. Again.

  With her heart breaking, she went inside to pack. Her flight left at eight a.m.

  * * *

  Gabe threw the worn tire across the garage and swore under his breath. Nothing he did could erase the image of her in Jack Trenton’s arms. For the past two weeks he’d thought about that scene and the letter day and night. God knows Roy tried to make him see there was more to it than what he saw, but it wasn’t Roy who walked in on them either.

  He wasn’t sure if he could go another day without seeing her once more and asking her why she played him the way she did. Hell, he didn’t even know if she was back or not. Maybe she was still in the city with her friend, Jack. In his anger, he kicked the tire with his boot.

  “Looks like someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” Merle came out of his office holding a cup of coffee. He leaned against the doorframe eyeing Gabe. “Come to think of it. It seems to me that you’ve had a something stuck in your craw ever since you’ve been back from market with Roy.” He held the cup out in a gesture Gabe knew was intended to appease.

  “Thanks,” he mumbled and took the cup from his friend. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bear.”

  Merle’s eyebrows rose in mock surprise. “Have you now? I hardly noticed.”

  He caught Merle’s evil grin. “Shut up.” Gabe sat down on a stack of tires, holding the coffee cup between his hands. He looked at Merle. “I need some advice.”

  Gabe proceeded to explain his story and as he did, Merle crossed his arms and peered at him. The fury was evident on his face. “What in blazes are you doing here, boy? Do you care one iota about this woman?”

  Gabe shrugged his shoulder with sigh. “Damn, Merle. I thought I was falling in love with her.” He stood pacing the concrete floor.

  “Oh good, I’ve been trying to pound some sense into that boys head for the better part of the week.”

  Gabe whirled at the sound of Roy’s voice. He looked back at Merle’s expectant gaze and got a raised brow.

  “Fine. Fine.” He strode towards the station’s bathroom, not bothering to close the door as he scrubbed his forearms then dried them on a paper towel. He stripped off his filthy shirt and ran up the stairs to his apartment, returning seconds later as he tucked in a clean shirt underneath a rag wool sweater. He adjusted his Stetson, rustled for his keys in his pocket, and stopped for a moment in front of Merle and Roy.

  “You guys wish me luck, I’m going to need it.” They both grinned and patted him on the shoulder. He could hear their cheers as he drove away from the garage.

  * * *

  The blinds were drawn down tight, a sight so familiar to Gabe that he took it as a good omen. He pulled the truck near the porch and threw the gearshift into park. Pausing a moment, he heard his own heavy breathing and fought to quell his nerves. “Get on with what you came here for,” he muttered to himself as he opened the door and stepped out. He would apologize for not giving her the chance to explain the papers, Jack, and everything. After that, he hoped they would be able to move forward.

  As he approached the house, something didn’t seem quite right. He hesitated at the door, wondering if he was doing the right thing, then decided he’d never know for sure until he knocked. The sound of his fist to the wood echoed in the stillness of the overcast morning. This was the kind of day Tess would love a fire. He smiled at the memory of her cutting his hair and realized this is the kind of day he’d like to spend with Tess in front of a fire. Where was the woman?

  He banged louder on the door, realizing that the dogs weren’t making the clamor they usually did. Something icy formed in Gabe’s stomach as he walked around the house to the back door. He cupped his eyes and peered through the window into the gray shadows inside. She wasn’t there. No one was home.

  He dropped down, sitting on the back step in frustration, raking a hand through his hair. Well, he’d just wait for her then. Standing, he walked around front and parked himself on the porch swing, watching the road. She had to come home sooner or later.

  The sound of a dog barking startled him from his nap. He rubbed the heel of his palms across his eyes and scanned the yard. Twilight surrounded him in a surreal purple-gray haze. He stood, stretching and every bone in his body cracked under his weight. He blinked as he focused on the lane, seeing a large golden retriever tear off across the field. The quick beating of his heart slowed with disappointment and his stomach growled in protest from hunger. Making his way to the truck on legs still tingling from sitting too long, he climbed in and turned on the heater. He tapped the wheel as he thought, then turned
the truck toward town. A cheeseburger and fries from Velda’s would easily satiate any man’s appetite.

  Gabe sat in his truck munching on the fries still piping hot from the grease they were cooked in. Back once again at Tess’s, he wondered if this was the wise thing to do. It was obvious he could as easily go on home and call her until she answered. Her furniture was still in place, and that gave him hope that she hadn’t left for good. But he had a lot to say, and he didn’t want to waste a minute.

  The stars twinkled in the now black velvet sky. The wide-open stretch of the heavens from the farm always amazed and humbled him at once, making him feel small and insignificant in the big scheme of things.

  He grabbed the blanket from behind the pickup’s seat, placed his hat on the dash and slumped down, resting the back of his neck to the seat. His thoughts wandered to the last time he’d seen her and he wondered now as he huddled under the blanket waiting for her, if she was snuggled under another blanket with Jack. Gabe shut his mind to those thoughts and glanced up at the countless stars, saying a silent prayer that just this once, God would not take something he loved away.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Tess gazed out over the Kansas City skyline. The cup of honey-lemon tea was cold in her hands. Part of her felt sure that what she was doing was right, while another part of her desperately wished things could be different.

  She turned from gazing at the steady rain and wondered what the weather was doing back home. Home. The word sounded foreign to her now. Today’s interview with the office managers went well, and they anticipated that she would sign a contract with them in tomorrow’s meeting with the CEO of the firm.

  Rubbing her neck, she lay down on the bed and looked at the phone. Should she call Gabe?

  She sat up, drawing her legs over the side of the bed and lifted her hand to the phone. Then she thought better of it and decided if there were going to be heartache involved, maybe she’d do well to wait until she could do it face-to-face. Besides, she wanted to be in half way descent frame of mind for her interview tomorrow.

  Her stomach rumbled and instead she picked up the line for room service, ordering a late dinner.

  * * *

  After eating as much of the potato soup as she could, she paced the room, trying to decide what to do with her life. Nearly putting a rut in the hotel suite’s plush carpet, Tess decided to call her folks and let them know what her new plans were.

  “Mom? Tess. How are you, I haven’t heard from you guys in a while. Just checking in to see what you’re up to.”

  “Tess honey, good to hear from you. How is the country life? We were hoping to come down one of these days, but your father doesn’t like to travel like he used to. But I’m working on it.”

  “Well, maybe I could come there for Thanksgiving this year.” She stared at the darkening sky, the brilliant holiday lights of the Royal Plaza illuminated the entire panoramic view of the shopping district.

  For a moment, Tess had considered that a walk among the plaza shops might help to lighten her mood. Instead, she opted to stay tucked inside the high rise suite the company had furnished for the interview trip. But it did not hold the ambiance of Gabe’s arm around her as they sat in the porch swing listening to the crickets.

  “You’d rather not have it at your place? What’s the matter, honey?” The gentle tone evoked the image of her mother always there to pick her up when she ‘d fall. But her mother couldn’t pick her up this time. She would have to work through the pain by herself if she was ever going to learn from it. Out of habit, she twirled a piece of her hair between her fingers.

  “I may be moving to Kansas City, Mom.” She set aside her lonely heart and turned her focus instead to the future. She hoped her mother wouldn’t ask too many questions. Thankfully, this time, she didn’t.

  “Is this another promotion? So soon? My you are doing very well in this job.” Her mother’s voice was kind, but Tess could hear the questions in the undertone.

  “It’s sort of a last minute decision. I’m here now for an interview. I guess we’ll see what happens.” She swallowed a sob that threatened to undo her as she thought of how things might have been. More than once, she dreamed vividly of her and Gabe at their kitchen table, with curly dark haired children flanking either side of them. She could hear Gabe laughing, and pictured his smile as he looked across the table at her.

  Tess wiped her nose with the complimentary shoe buffing cloth and swiped her hand across her eyes to dry her tears.

  “Tess, honey?” Her mother’s voice took on the tone it had since she was a little girl and life was too much to handle. “Are you crying?”

  Her chin quivered uncontrollably. “Oh, I think I’m very weary mom,” she took a deep breath, “it’s been a long day and this is sort of rushed right now. Listen I’m going to go soak in a tub, maybe that will help. I’ll call you later and let you know how the interview goes.”

  “All right, sweetheart. I’ll tell your father hello and you just relax. Things always have a way of working themselves out. You’ll know what to do when the time is right. God has a plan.”

  Tess nodded, but could not speak until she swallowed against the lump in her throat. “Okay, thanks, Mom. I love you, tell dad I love him too.”

  The click of the receiver seemed to echo the finality of this chapter in her life. Perhaps she and Gabe were never meant to be. Maybe that’s the reason the position was still open in Kansas City. Her mother had always been strong in her faith, but Tess wondered if even God could straighten out the turmoil she found herself in. She sighed then went to the bathroom to draw a tub full of hot water to soak in.

  * * *

  She rested against the end of the tub and closed her eyes. Thankfully, the accommodations in the ritzy room they’d put her in came with the amenities of bubble bath and a bottle of wine. She’d not felt much like the wine, but she thoroughly enjoyed pouring the entire contents of the bottle of bubble bath in the tub, and sinking into the mass of frothy foam and steam.

  Tess wasn’t sure how long she dozed, but when she awoke, she could hear shuffling in the outer room. She sat up straight, her ears perked to what she hoped was the housekeeper bringing more towels. But she hadn’t requested any towels.

  She stood slowly, hanging onto the wall, trying not to make any noise. She’d heard of people breaking into rooms of single women.

  Slipping out of the tub, she grabbed the complimentary robe off its hook and wrapped it around her wishing she’d thought to bring her cellular phone into the room with her.

  She wrapped her hair in a towel, and carefully eased open the door, peeking out through the crack.

  The scream, she thought, came from Jack first, then from her. Startled, but more angry, she threw open the door.

  “How the hell did you get in? And what are you doing here, Jack?” She strode toward him with her hands firmly planted on her hips.

  He backed away from her with a wide-eyed expression and then the shock wore off.

  “I had some good news about the house and thought you’d like to hear it.” He shrugged with a silly grin as though his news would change everything. “Oh, and I told the cleaning lady I was your husband and left my key in the room.” He grimaced at the lie, followed close by a sheepish grin. “Who knew it would work?”

  “And now you can just march right out of here and get your own room or better yet, go back to Davenport.” Tess yanked open the door and pointed her finger. If looks could kill, he’d surely be a dead man.

  “Tess,” he said softly as he padded in his sock feet across the thick carpet, “Let’s just talk about this, okay?” He eased the door from her grasp, checking the hallway, then closed it gently. “There, we can be civil, right?”

  “Fine. We’ll talk. I’m going to put some clothes on. Then we’ll talk. Then you’ll leave.”

  “You needn’t go to the trouble of changing on my account.”

  She turned catching his grin. “Believe me, it’s no more trouble t
han you coming down here.”

  His frown seemed perplexed and she ignored further explanation wanting only to allow him enough time to share his news and be gone.

  Jack was stretched out on her bed when she emerged from changing into her denim shirt and tattered jeans.

  “How chique.” His eyebrow rose with his dry remark. “I helped myself to a glass of your wine. I hope that’s okay? Would you care for some?” He held up the glass surveying it, she supposed, for clarity, or something. Whatever it was, his nonchalant behavior was aggravating her more by the minute.

  “You know, if you take this job, assuming of course they offer it. Then you realize that means we would be on the same level-administratively.”

  Tess walked to the other side of the room, and sat down in a single chair. “Which means what exactly, Jack? And do you have any idea that right now I could slap a sexual harassment charge on you?”

  He sat up on the edge of the bed and slowly sat his wine to the nightstand. “I was hoping we were better friends than that, Tess.” His voice was somber and she felt a twinge of guilt at the slight hurt in his voice.

  “Jack,” she reasoned. “We are friends and I want it to stay that way.” He smiled and she held up her hand to stave off any ideas he had rattling around his brain, “But that’s where I want it to stay. I know how much you’ve done for me, but I need to move on now. I think it’s best if I do that alone.”

  He folded his hands over his knees and stared for a moment at the floor.

  Tess waited patiently, hoping her point had finally sunk in without hurting him.

  “We got the lease returned to Gabe Russell’s name. All it needs is your signature and then he can take over the rental where you left off. No questions asked.”

  Tess wanted to cry, engulfed by guilt for feeling as though she’d snatched Gabe’s dreams lifted from her. She walked to Jack and held her arms out. “Thank you.”