Northern Renegade

by Jennifer Labrecque

  She grabbed his wrist and forcibly moved his hands, stepping away from him. “Whoa, whoa and whoa.” She turned to face him, taking another step back for good measure, putting physical distance between them. “I don’t know if I even want to kiss you again. The

  vajayjay isn’t a remote possibility.” Good grief, give the man an inch and he would take a mile. How he went from her thinking about forgiving him to cunnilingus was mind-boggling. And insulting.

  “Ever?” He gave her his puppy-dog look. She used to find it endearing. Now it was just sort of annoying.

  “Drop it, Bradley.”

  He threw up both hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. What about dinner tonight?”

  She spoke without hesitation. “No.”

  “It’s that Marine, isn’t it?”

  “Bradley, I answered all the questions about Liam that I plan to answer. And I was generous when I did that. You don’t have any right to quiz me about anything.”

  “You’re right. I just—” he ran his hand through his hair “—I can’t stand to think... It makes me crazy.”

  She knew exactly how he felt as she’d lain awake her fair share of nights thinking of him in bed with someone else. He’d live. “You’ll just have to deal with it.”

  “You’ve changed.”

  “I have, haven’t I?” She was stronger, more sure of who she was. She and Bradley had been an item for so long, she’d been so young when they’d become a couple. Who she was had always been tied up in “them.” She’d had to find who she was without him. “You say that like it’s not a good thing.”

  “I don’t know.”

  She realized with a start that it really didn’t matter whether Bradley liked the new her or not. She liked her.

  * * *

  LIAM WALKED INTO Gus’s and it seemed as if the conversations died at once, everyone turning to look at him. He looked back. It was just a few seconds and conversations resumed but it was a weird feeling.

  Obviously everyone was busy speculating on what was happening between him and Tansy now that her fiancé had turned up.

  Bull motioned Liam over to a corner booth. “You sitting down or is it a grab and go?”

  “Grab and go. Sven’s pushing to get this phase done so he sent me over to pick up lunch.” Being the least seasoned on the crew when it came to construction meant Liam was essentially the gofer.

  Over Bull’s shoulder, Mallory Kincaid smiled a greeting that held an invitation. Liam acknowledged her with a slight nod and then turned his attention back to Bull. “That woman’s a pain.”

  “She seems nice enough.”

  “She’s pushy as hell.”

  “She’s got a job to do and she wants to do it well.” Liam shrugged at Bull’s assessment. He had more immediate things on his mind. “You met Bradley?” Bull said.

  “After a fashion. I saw him. I wasn’t impressed. Tansy said he was coming back out today.”

  “He went. He’s back in town now. Petey picked him up about fifteen minutes ago.” Bull looked over Liam’s shoulder. The hair on the back of Liam’s neck stood at attention. “Speak of the devil... He just walked in from the B and B.”

  The room didn’t come to a standstill, but a hush settled, voices lowering to a murmur. Liam didn’t turn around. He knew all he needed to know about

  Bradley—he hadn’t treated Tansy right. He’d hurt her. The guy was an asshole and Liam would be just as happy to smash his face as look at him, but this was Tansy’s call.

  “Approaching,” Bull said, spotting for him.

  “I know.” Liam felt Bradley closing in on him. He kept his back to him. Around them, the room quieted once again. The only sound was a soap opera running on the wall-mounted television. And then someone muted that and the only sound was something frying in the open kitchen.

  Bradley stopped and called him out. “Reinhardt.”

  Liam turned, looked the other man square in the eye and stared him down. “Yes?”

  “I’m Tansy’s fiancé.” In one of those moments where life was stranger than fiction, Tansy walked through the door, stopping dead in her tracks at the sight of him and Bradley facing off. “Stay away from her,” Bradley said.

  “The way I understand it, you used to be her fiancé. And it’s Tansy’s call whether or not I stay away from here.”

  “I plan to marry her.”

  Liam smiled without humor. “Is that a fact? Once again, I think that’s up to her.”

  Tansy stepped forward and spoke up. “First, don’t talk about me as if I’m not even here. Second, have you both lost your minds?”

  “Bradley started it. Liam was minding his own business,” someone piped up from the back of the room.

  Tansy glared at her ex. “Okay, so Bradley, you’ve clearly lost your mind.”

  He shook his head. “I’m lost without you.”

  Damn. This guy was a pathetic excuse of a man. What the hell had Tansy ever seen in him? Liam wasn’t much when it came to love and romance, but even he could see this guy wasn’t right for the General.

  “Oh, brother,” someone else said from another corner of the room.

  Tansy covered her face with her hands and shook her head. She dropped her hands to her sides. “Oh, my God, this is like some bad soap opera or reality TV show.”

  “This is way better than a soap,” said a tall man with red hair and a shock of red beard.

  “Shut up, Rooster,” someone called out.

  “Which one do you want, Tansy?” Rooster asked. “We’ve got some bets going.”

  Bradley spoke, holding out his hand. “Tansy—”

  She cut him off. “Do not say another word.” He opened his mouth and she glared at him. “Nothing. Nada.”

  What the hell? He hadn’t done anything but respond to the guy, but she seemed thoroughly put out with both of them, which he put down to general embarrassment that she was being publicly discussed. Oh, well.

  And Bradley, spineless wonder that he was, turned tail and headed back over to the bed-and-breakfast. Meanwhile, Tansy marched across the room, head held high, back ramrod straight, to the counter. “I’d like whatever today’s special is. To go.”

  The waitress nodded. “Sure thing.” She looked over at Liam and called out, “Your order is ready.”

  Liam crossed the room, heedless of the looks being thrown his way. Behind him, Bull called out, “Turn the TV back on.”

  At the pick-up counter Tansy ignored him. Giving her space seemed a wise tactic. Liam picked up the cardboard box containing the crew’s lunch and silently left.

  Sometimes the wisest course of action was retreat. It did not escape his attention, however, that Tansy had left the question of who she wanted unanswered.

  * * *

  “HOLY MOLY,” JENNA SAID, shaking her head from behind the reception desk in the spa lobby as Tansy closed the door behind her.

  Jenna had obviously already heard about the spectacle that had just played out. “Okay, that was fast, even for Good Riddance. I came straight here from Gus’s.”

  She’d covered the distance from Gus’s to Jenna’s spa in about five minutes, seriously needing to talk to her sister.

  “Alberta was texting me from the restaurant,” Jenna said, stepping from behind the desk and hugging her.

  Tansy hugged back and then shook her head, still feeling as if she’d just had some out-of-body experience. “Jenna, it was surreal.”

  Jenna nodded. “Kind of bizarre, too.”

  Uh, well, that’s what surreal was but Tansy just kept it to herself. Jenna was a genius at business but sometimes in other areas...

  Jenna slid her arm around Tansy’s waist, as if sensing her sister was still in some kind of oh-hell-did-that-really-just-happen shock. “I’ve got ten minutes before Rachelle Richardson comes in for a set of nails. Ellie’s in the massage room and they can’t hear.” She led her to the nail area. “We can talk over here.”

  Tansy sat in the seat across from Jenna, the sm
all nail table between them. She recounted the walk in the woods with Bradley...down to the nitty-gritty details.

  Jenna’s mouth dropped open and she leaned across the table, lowering her voice even though she’d reassured Tansy there was no one around to overhear them. “You mean he offered to go down on you in the woods?” Jenna’s blue eyes were as big as saucers. “Like he just rolled into town and said—”

  “Uh-huh. Unbelievable.” It was funny how a little distance and a different man had given her a whole new perspective. She’d been so wrapped up in Bradley as an ideal that she hadn’t seen him clearly before. Her Prince Charming wasn’t so charming after all.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yep.”

  “And you said no?”

  Tansy laughed and shook her head at Jenna. “Jenna...”

  “Well, I’m just saying you could have...”

  Tansy grabbed her head with both hands. “I feel like flushing my head down a toilet. I don’t know what I want anymore. Maybe somewhere inside, all this time I’ve been hating on him, I’ve wanted him to do exactly what he’s doing now—well, show up that is, not make a scene in Gus’s. I don’t know. In a way, I moved on, but I think some part of me was waiting for him. I wanted him to come for me the way Logan came after you. I thought that’s what I wanted. But somewhere along the way, without realizing it, I did move on.”

  “Liam?”

  “He was definitely part of it. But it’s me. Bradley said today that I’ve changed and I have.”

  Jenna pursed her lips. “So, what are you going to do?” She leaned in, her eyes sparkling with excitement as if she’d just had a great idea. “Are you going to sleep with both of them? Sort of a test run at the same time?”

  Both exasperated and amused, Tansy laughed. “Jenna, I swear. You won an award for probably the oldest virgin in the state of Alaska when you finally slept with Logan, but now, girl, you are sex-crazy.”

  Her sister’s grin was infectious. “It’s fun. It feels good. At least it does with Logan. I wouldn’t know about anyone else but that’s okay because if it was any better than it is with us, I think I’d probably just expire from satisfaction and Emma needs her mommy.” Jenna rubbed her hands together. “So, are you? Boy Toy One and Boy Toy Two test-drives?”

  “As much as I hate to disappoint your lascivious little soul, no I’m not going to test-drive them. And they’re both too old or I’m too young, but whichever way you look at it they’re not boy toys.”

  “All right, already. So, what’s the plan? Because failing to plan is planning to fail.”

  “My plan is to take a break from them so I can think.”

  “Exactly what do you mean take a break? Not have any contact with them?”

  “Well, I’m definitely not going to sleep with either one of them right now. Sex won’t do a thing but muddy the waters for me and I’m not sure if I even want to sit down and have dinner with either one of them. When I’m with one, the other is just going to be hovering in the background—I mean that figuratively, but Good Riddance is so small, it’d be literally, as well.”

  “What has Liam said about Bradley being here?”

  “He really only had one thing to say last night.”

  “Which was?”

  “He doesn’t share. And I know what he means because he and I are casual, but I don’t share, either.”

  “Are the two of you casual?”

  “Of course. We haven’t known each other very long. We just fell into a thing. I think we were both convenient for each other at the time.”

  “Maybe or maybe not. Maybe it’s always been more than just that or maybe it started out as just that but has changed.”

  “I don’t know. I can’t even think about it right now.”

  Jenna laughed. “I beg to differ. I think it’s exactly part of everything you have to think about right now.”

  “This is all so complicated. How is it that you think you know what you want, and then when it happens, you’re just not sure if it’s really what you want? I know Bradley and I can never go back to what we had and that’s a good thing because there were holes in our relationship that I didn’t see before. But now I don’t know if I want to move forward with him, either. And it’s

  really not an either-or situation with Liam or Bradley. Just because I do or don’t want Bradley doesn’t mean I do or don’t want Liam. That sounds so convoluted. Do you know what I mean?”

  “Hey, those are the conversations I’m best at following. I know just what you mean. Maybe you don’t want either one of them eating crackers in your bed.”

  Jenna had a unique way of putting things. “Exactly.”

  “So, maybe just because you don’t want Liam, it doesn’t mean that you do want Bradley, or vice versa. Do you still love Bradley?”

  Did she love him? He’d been a part of her life for so long that while she’d hated him at first, she’d found some healing in time and this place. “I don’t hate him. I don’t still wish terrible things on him like I did at first. But I’m not sure if I’m still in love with him.”

  “How do you think he really feels? Could you ever trust him again? If you can’t trust someone, you don’t really have anything.”

  “I do think he loves me and that’s not just wishful thinking on my part. But one thing I’ve figured out is that the other woman...that was about him, not me. I know it took a lot for him to come here and I do think he’s desperate to have me back, otherwise he wouldn’t have made that scene today with Liam in Gus’s. And Liam... I just don’t know. I don’t know about any of it.”

  “Well, the good thing is, you don’t have to make a decision now or even today. You don’t have to make a decision until you’re ready.”

  “That’s true enough. It’s up to me to decide, but I do know I don’t want to drag this out. For me, not knowing is always worse than making a decision or finding out one way or another and then dealing with those consequences. Plus, Bradley is going to be pinging around like a loose cannon until I give him something, one way or the other. It was mortifying to have him and Liam discussing me in public today.” She wrapped her hands around one knee and rocked back and forth. “What was it like when Logan showed up here, after all that time?”

  “I knew inside the moment I saw him even though I tried to deny it. It’s funny. I still feel that rush when he walks into the room. It’s not as intense as it used to be, but it’s real and it’s there. I think the rush will always be a part of me, of us.”

  Tansy nodded, intuitively knowing exactly what Jenna was talking about. She’d felt the same thing...the first time she’d seen Liam Reinhardt.

  12

  THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON, Liam decided to forgo his ritual after-work swim in lieu of a visit with Bull. He hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Tansy since she’d ignored him in Gus’s yesterday, which wasn’t surprising. The woman had a lot on her mind. So did he. The crazy, disturbing thing was he’d actually missed Wellington last night. What the hell was up with that?

  He parked his bike in front of Bull’s hardware store and went in. The metallic smell of tools and the sweet scent of sawdust greeted him. Bull sat on the other side of the counter whittling.

  “Got a minute?” Liam said.

  “Got lots of them,” Bull said, working the wood chunk, which had yet to take on any particular shape. It sort of seemed symbolic of Liam’s future, which was why he was here now. “What’s on your mind?”

  Liam leaned against the counter. “I wanted to run an idea by you.”

  “Sure thing.” Seemingly focused on the wood and knife in his hands, his uncle waited.

  “I’ve been thinking about something Tansy mentioned the other day. She suggested a survivalist training camp since I have a special ops background. She said this area invited that kind of person in the first place. The more I think about it, the more I think it might work.” Bull nodded and Liam continued. “I appreciate Sven hiring me on but I can’t see me doing that for more than a
season. And dammit, I’ve got to do something.” He pushed away from the counter and gave voice to the frustration that ate at him, that had been eating at him since he’d been handed his discharge papers. “I’m thirty-one years old and wondering what to do with my life now that I don’t belong in the military anymore.”

  Bull whittled on.

  Liam continued, “I had it all planned, but with that discharge... What the hell. I don’t know what to do with myself.”

  “Life has a way of doing that.” He stilled his knife and looked at Liam. “I was eighteen and had all kinds of plans...then I was drafted to go to Vietnam. That didn’t quite go according to plan, either. I just wanted to do my rotation and get back home.” He pointed to the scar on his neck with the knife’s point. “It didn’t quite work out that way and when I finally got back, all those plans I’d had before just didn’t fit. So, yeah, sometimes you’ve got to punt on the goal line. I know your frustration.”

  “I’ve just been pissed...so pissed I don’t know what to do with myself...and I didn’t have the experience you did. How’d you handle it?”

  Bull folded the knife and crossed his hands on his still-flat belly. “I went around angry for a long, long time until I finally figured out that wasn’t getting me anywhere. Plus, I met Merilee and knew she was the damn best thing I’d ever come across. Finally figured out if all that other shit hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have wound up meeting her, so maybe I should be glad for all the crap that came before because I sure as hell am glad for her. She’s the best thing to ever happen to my life, bar none. Once I started looking at it that way, I could let the other stuff go.”

  He had a whole lot of respect for Bull but that struck Liam as some faulty logic. “But maybe you’d have met her if all the other stuff hadn’t happened.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not. I’ll never know because it did happen and it was the reason I wound up here and I met her here so, there you have it. Sometimes it’s damn hard to see a door opening in your life because you’re so pissed over the one that just slammed shut on you and caught you in the ass and hurt like hell while it was closing.”