From Paris to Forever

by Savannah Blaize

“I am staying here tonight. I don’t want to discuss this with you now. I’m not a child, and I’m tired of defending my actions. I’ve taken care of myself since I left home at eighteen. My mind is made up. I want to be home.”

  He stood staring at her, his hands clenched at his sides.

  “You don’t have to worry about me. No, don’t look at me like that. I can tell what you’re thinking. I will be fine.” She turned and walked towards the front door. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob, her head bent, fighting back the hot tears that threatened to fall.

  “Go home, Todd. I’m tired, and I don’t want to argue anymore.”

  “Okay Chloe. I’m going but I am not happy about this at all. I don’t want to leave you here. This is crazy. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “I think I need some time to think things through. I will call you when I’m ready to talk. Maybe we moved too fast. I didn’t consider how long you’ve lived by your rules. You didn’t consider how I long I’ve lived by mine. Loving me doesn’t mean you can take over my life.”

  She walked inside, closing the door without turning back.

  Todd returned to the car and drove home on autopilot. When he finally became aware of his surroundings, it surprised him to see the familiar walls of his apartment’s underground garage. He sat in his car, hands still clutching the steering wheel, unable to move or get out for the longest time. She had told him to go. He couldn’t get his head around it. Sure they argued. Don’t all couples argue? So why did his heart ache as if someone had plunged in a knife?

  As dawn broke and pale yellow rays filtered into the early morning grey sky, Chloe stirred from her restless sleep and reached out for Todd. It took a second or two before she remembered she had slept in her own bed, without him. Todd’s exasperated tone of voice broke into her thoughts. “I love you, Goddamn it.” He had said it, but it sounded like a cold fact, not a loving declaration.

  No point in staying in bed. The scene from yesterday played out in her head for the hundredth time and would not allow her to return to sleep. Time to make coffee and start the day. Alone.

  Coffee in hand, she roamed the downstairs rooms, taking note of what they had achieved, and what had yet to be done. The contractors would be back at seven. She had arranged an early start.

  The sooner she resumed her routine, the sooner she could finish her house and put all this anxiety behind her. Hell, who was she kidding? Maybe she needed to go back to Paris for a while and think about her future. Possibly she did love Todd, but she could not see a future where the man she loved made all the decisions without even consulting her. She could not be happy being told what to do, and not valued for her opinion. I made that mistake once, and I’ll never make that mistake again.

  Long before Chloe had opened her eyes, Todd had already completed a session at the gym. In fact, he hadn’t slept. He had tossed and turned all night, until he couldn’t stand to be in the apartment a moment longer. No point in telling himself not to worry. Worrying about Chloe and about those he loved had become as natural to him as breathing.

  He had willingly become the patriarch in the family when their parents had died. Looking after Patrick and his younger sister Audrey had become second nature to him. When Patrick showed an interest in building and renovating, he made him a partner and formed Baker Real Estate Renovations. Then when Audrey asked for his help to go to medical school in Switzerland, he found the money and pulled out all the stops. As the eldest he considered it his responsibility to look after everyone’s best interests. His personal needs came last; his family came first.

  Maybe I shouldn’t have been so controlling. He hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, or to override Chloe’s feelings. Couldn’t she understand he had been scared to death when he couldn’t get in touch with her, imagining she’d gone out and had a relapse. He surmised she’d lost her memory. Otherwise why wouldn’t she call him? Why wouldn’t she let him know where she’d gone? He hadn’t meant to yell at her either. He had been so tense he hadn’t realised how it appeared from her point of view. She said she needs time. Time for what?

  Samantha sensed something terrible had occurred in Todd’s world as soon as she arrived at the office. Her usual cheerful “Good morning” had gone unnoticed. Todd hunched over his laptop, his shoulders slumped, a pile of paperwork by his keyboard. The dark circles under his eyes gave him a gaunt appearance. He hadn’t arrived at the office before nine o’clock since Chloe had been staying with him. She wanted to enquire about Chloe, but decided against it. She logged onto her computer and tried to ignore the haunted look in his eyes.

  She waited patiently all morning, hoping he would open up to her, but to no avail. She tried a different approach. “Would you like some lunch, Todd?”

  “No thanks. I have a lot to do. Not hungry.”

  “A coffee perhaps?”

  “No thanks.”

  “Would you like …”

  “Stop mothering me, Samantha. I’m not hungry, I’m not thirsty. I am busy.”

  “Fine. I’ll pop along and get my lunch then …”

  “You do that. Bye.”

  Todd couldn’t wait to have the office to himself. Samantha had been hovering over him, watching his every move all morning. The last thing he wanted to do was to open up to her. Hell, he didn’t even know how to put it into words. One minute he was in a loving relationship with Chloe, the next minute he was driving home alone. She told him she was upset with him for yelling. It hadn’t registered at the time. He’d only been concerned about her. Didn’t she know that he was only thinking of her? Why would she want to go back to that, that building site, instead of staying in his beautiful apartment? Can’t she see that I love her and want the best for her?

  Hell, she needed taking care of, that was a fact. She could hurt herself again, have another accident. Strong willed, opinionated and impetuous couldn’t begin to describe her. But, he acknowledged, she was also loving and funny and tender, not to mention smart and beautiful.

  He printed off a copy of the letter he had been drafting on his laptop, noticed glaring errors, and tore it into tiny pieces in frustration. He hadn’t saved it. An hour’s work wasted. He would have to start again. Funny, he thought, so typical, just like my life. I’m wasting my time, chasing someone who doesn’t want my love. I will have to start again.

  He stopped, halfway between the printer and the desk, as a light bulb blinked on above his head. Of course. She needs to be wooed. She needs to know I love her. She needs to feel loved and valued. I have to prove to her we belong together. We need to start again.

  Todd grabbed his iPhone off the desk just as Samantha returned.

  “I will be out for a while.” Todd pocketed his car keys.

  “I thought you said you were busy … Oh … okay” Samantha leant back against her desk as he made a beeline for the door … “I’ll hold down the fort.”

  Todd rushed out of the office without a backward glance.

  Chloe spent her morning making coffee and sandwiches for the workmen. She called suppliers to place orders for appliances and bought light fittings on line. Anything she could do to keep busy. Thinking about Todd had her heart aching. So the best thing to do was not to think about Todd at all. She pushed herself harder than she should have, cleaning out the spare bedroom and study, and prepping it for the painters Patrick had arranged. When they arrived, she thankfully took a cup of coffee upstairs to rest for a few minutes.

  She opened her eyes. Patrick stood by her bedside, gently rubbing her arm to rouse her from her slumber. The sunlit room had morphed into late afternoon gloom.

  “Oh dear. How long have I been asleep?”

  “Well, the workmen are leaving, so it’s about five o’clock now. They said they hadn’t seen you in a while. I guess you’ve been up here for a few hours. Are you okay?”

  “Yes, I’m fine thanks.”

  “You don’t look fine. You looked sad this morning when I dropped by to check on the crew. Do you want to talk about
it?”

  “Nope.”

  “I’m here if you change your mind. Is Todd coming to pick you up?”

  That did it. Hot tears sprung into her eyes and she quickly turned away. Not soon enough though, as Patrick reached out and caught her by the arm and turned her towards him.

  “Chloe.” He looked into her eyes. “What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Todd?”

  “I think it’s over, Patrick. I can’t do it. He is so controlling and I have lived on my own terms for so long. I couldn’t breathe. I felt smothered.”

  “It can’t be that bad, surely? You’ll be able to work this out and things will be fine in no time.”

  “No, Patrick. He yelled at me on the phone yesterday, when I was here after you left. He ordered me to stay where I was. He didn’t even notice I was so excited to be back working on the house again. I wanted to surprise him. To show him I was feeling better and getting on with the renovations. He wasn’t happy at all. Not. At. All. Not for me, or for the fact that my house needs to be finished. He was only concerned by the fact I hadn’t left him a note, and he didn’t know where I was. He thinks I am being stupid finishing this project. I’m sorry, you seem to have opened the floodgates.” Chloe buried her face in her hands.

  Patrick sat on the edge of the bed and put his arm around her.

  She leant on his shoulder, grateful he stayed and listened and didn’t run in the opposite direction when she started to cry. “I miss him. But last night I saw Todd as he was the first day I met him. An egotistical opinionated man who thinks women should be home, barefoot and pregnant. Waiting with the pipe and slippers for the man of the house to come home.”

  “He’s not that bad, Chloe. He’s all talk, but I am sure he was just worried about you. I know Todd is bossy. It probably came out wrong. He will be worried you are overdoing it. None of us want to see you unwell again.”

  “I hit my head. I don’t have a terminal disease. I am not an invalid and don’t want to be treated as one. He wants to lock me up in that ivory tower of an apartment … like … like I’m a delicate flower. I need to work and keep busy. I pull my own weight. I will not be kept by any man.”

  “He loves you, Chloe.”

  “He has a funny way of showing it.”

  “But that is my point. Give the guy a break. He isn’t very good at showing it. I can’t remember him being in love before. I know Todd, and he has emotional blinders on when it comes to something he wants. I happen to think he wants you, and although he is clumsy, he thinks that by taking control he is being the responsible one. His heart is in the right place, I’m sure. Maybe you just need some time apart to find out how you really feel. Do you love him?”

  “I think I do. But sometimes love is not enough. Without respect, it’s doomed.”

  Patrick stood up and held out his hand to Chloe. “Okay, I’ll give you that. But now I think you should wash your pretty face and we should go and get something to eat. I bet you only drank coffee today. What do you say?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “I’m not leaving here until I see you eat something. Okay. How about I order in some Chinese? I know you like the dumplings. I’ve watched you put half a dozen of them away in the past.”

  “I don’t think that was me. You must be thinking of someone else.” Chloe smiled in spite of herself. He’s trying so hard to cheer me up. “Okay, Chinese. But only if you stay and share with me. I have some wine in the fridge. You order. I’ll get the wine. I really could do with a drink.”

  She hopped off the bed and headed downstairs a little less sad, a little less alone. At least for tonight.

  Patrick pushed the containers away, sat back and belched. He grinned. “Sorry. But that was really good.”

  “Yes it was delicious. I didn’t think I would eat much, but I surprised myself.” Chloe got up and paced the room, anxiously.

  “I looked around while you were ordering dinner. I noticed the men put in a lot of work today. I’ve been thinking, Patrick. Dangerous I know. I might go back to Paris for a while. See my friends. Have a holiday. Could you continue with the renovations back here while I’m gone? You have all the plans. If you get the bulk of the construction done, I can do the decorating when I get back. I won’t be much use anyway, other than making coffee and snacks while the builders are knocking down the back of the house.”

  “Sure. We can get the heavy construction work done. It’s better if we don’t have to tiptoe around the place with you here. How long do you think you’ll be gone?”

  “Maybe a month, maybe two. I’ve haven’t decided. I need to call my friends in Paris to see if it’s still alright to take them up on their offer to stay with them. But I wanted to wait until I’d checked with you.”

  “I can select a foreman to keep his eye on the place when we begin construction. We’ll add the extension and then remove the back wall of the house. Make sure the house is locked up tight when they are not working on it.”

  “That’s great. I’ll make the calls later tonight and let you know. You’re right. It will be good for me to get away for a while. To think about things.”

  Todd drove past Chloe’s house after dinner and noticed Patrick’s ute parked outside. Jaws clenched, he checked the time on the dashboard and wondered why Patrick was still inside. His imagination began working overtime. He remembered Chloe saying they had kissed when they had gone out. He had believed her then, but now he wondered if kissing had been all that passed between them. Jealousy burnt in his stomach.

  Would Patrick go there with Chloe, now that she had returned to her house? Would he take advantage of her vulnerable state? These questions ran rampant around and around in his head, accompanied by many more explicit images.

  He had worked himself into a very agitated state by the time he’d reached home.

  Patrick pulled up in the car park behind the office. He hadn’t even turned off the ignition before Todd had yanked the door wide open.

  “How could you take advantage of the situation? My own brother! You just couldn’t leave her alone, could you?” Todd’s fists clenched at his sides.

  “I have no idea what you are talking about. But I presume it has something to do with Chloe?”

  “It has everything to do with Chloe. I saw your ute there last night. It was way past knock off time Patrick. Don’t try and tell me that there’s nothing going on. Remember I know your reputation with women.”

  “I was having dinner with Chloe last night because she needed a friend. Only dinner. Nothing more.”

  “She asked you to keep her company?”

  “Actually, I invited myself. I just wanted to make sure she ate something. It didn’t look like she would eat dinner without company.”

  “You’re a real piece of work.”

  “Look, Chloe’s hurting. She’s confused. I think she loves you but she thinks you don’t appreciate her, don’t value her opinion. She needs time to think things through. I’m sure it will all work out for you both. Give her that time.”

  “Oh, so she confided in you did she?”

  “She has to talk to someone. I guess I was handy. Don’t be a prick, Todd.”

  “Will she talk to me, since she’s in such a talkative mood?”

  “I would wait to give her a chance to come to you, if that’s what she wants.”

  “I don’t know how long I can just stand back and wait for her to make up her mind. I need to see her. To reason with her.”

  “I’ll give you a heads-up. Looks like she’s going to Paris.”

  “When.”

  “Soon, I gather. She’s probably staying with a friend over there. She asked me to keep going with the reno. I was going to ask Barry if he could supervise the site.”

  “Did she say how long she’d be gone?”

  “She thinks a month, maybe two months. I don’t think she’s sure. We should have the major construction done by then. She said she would take care of the rest when she comes back.”

&
nbsp; “I’ve got to go.”

  “Where are you going? I think it would be a mistake to go see her now.” Patrick stepped down from the cabin of the HiLux ute and grabbed Todd’s upper arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Be smart about this, Todd. I know you love her, but I think something happened in her past to screw her up, she needs time to sort herself out. At least give her that.”

  “Why, what did she tell you?”

  “She didn’t actually tell me anything. Specifically, it was more a feeling I got. She did say she think she loves you though.”

  “I guess that’s something.” It took all of Todd’s willpower not to get in his car and drive to Chloe’s house and confront her. What was she thinking? Running away wasn’t going to solve anything. They needed to talk, discuss this. They could work it out if they just talked.

  “I don’t think it is a good idea to go talk to her.” Patrick let go of Todd’s arm.

  “What is this? Have you and Chloe been seeing the same mind reader for lessons? How come everyone knows exactly what I am thinking these days?”

  “It’s written all over your face. You have that panicked look I’ve witnessed on the odd occasion when you are trying to get someone to see your point of view and it’s not working for you.”

  “I can’t stand idly by and let her walk out of my life.”

  “She isn't walking out of your life … well, not yet … not for sure. You should be spending your time trying to work out what to say when she returns, if you want to make it work.

  “Since when did you get all worldly wise about women?”

  “Since I noticed how upset she is. She doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know what you’ve gone through, does she? I bet you didn’t explain that to her. I bet you’ve never really talked about our parents’ death, and looking after Audrey and me, have you?”

  Patrick gave Todd’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I didn’t think so. Maybe that’s a conversation you could have when she comes back.” He picked up the architect’s floor plans from the front seat and headed into the building.