"So Elli. Looks like you have a cyst growing on your ovary. No need to worry. These are common and although they do hurt like hell, you'll be fine. I want you on bed rest for the rest of today and tomorrow too. "
"But I can't miss a full day of school! I have a deadline and a meeting to run tomorrow!"
Looking to my mom, the doctor asks if I'm joking. Cause what teenager wants to go to school? Assuring him that one, yes, i am serious, and two, that she will make sure I'm on bed rest for the next day, she leaves my room so I can get dressed, but not before the doctor can have a word with me.
“Elli, you've been in here before haven't you? For stomach pains? I've read your file and that was only last year. How have you been doing?"
"Fine."
"Well, here I have it that it was written off as stress. Have you been doing anything to reduce that?"
Looking down at my now bleeding cuticles I assure him that Im fine.
"How is school going? Your mom was telling me you're very involved."
Oh so were playing 20 questions now.
"I'm doing well. Acing all my classes. And yea, I run Yearbook, and I’m in a few other things."
“Well that’s quite the schedule. Do you have a job?"
“Umm yea. I work at Bed Bath and Beyond, and the ice rink my brother plays at."
“Wow. Do you find time to relax?"
“Of course."
“Do you know where you want to go for college?"
“Yea I was accepted to Winter Park University last year. I got early admission as soon as I graduate."
“Well just make sure, if you get too stressed out, just take a breather ok?"
He leaves me to get dressed, and I have to remind myself to breathe. Grabbing my phone, since I know my mother will stay true to her word about keeping me in bed, I text Madison.
Elli: Hey. I’m going to be absent tomorrow. Can you do me a favor and email me the Yearbook files from my computer?
Madison: Sure! Anything to get out of this boring class. Why did I take Italian anyway?
Elli: Because we want to go to Italy, remember?
Madison: Uggghhhhh. We should just go on our own after graduation.
Elli: Umm, have you seen Taken? No way am I going with just the two of us.
Madison: Lol. This is Italy! Not Paris!
Elli: Still, scarred for life.
Madison: Well when we’re sitting by the Trevi Fountain, we better wish for a way to survive Signora for the rest of the year!
Elli: No way am I wasting my wish on that! I’m thinking something along the lines of Lizzie McGuire’s wish!
Madison: We should totally have a sleepover with all the girls before we go and watch that movie!
Elli: Just tell me when!:D
Madison: Ok! Just emailed you the files! Hey why aren’t you coming in tomorrow?
Elli: Just have some stuff to do. But I need to get these out for Monday’s deadline.
Madison: Ok! Heading back to class. Save Me!
Elli: Lol good luck!
Madison: Talk later!:D
Elli: Thanks again!
Finally getting my shoes on, I grab my bag and slowly head out towards the waiting room where my mom is. I know that movie night with the girls won’t happen, and if it does I most likely won’t be there. I’m excited for the trip to Italy, but at the same time, I wish I was just going by myself. I can see all the museums I want and be on my own time schedule.
The doc gave me some painkillers, but Freddy is still here, waiting to strike. When I get home, I grab my computer, finish up the last few pages for the yearbook, and send everything out.
I have two options since I’m now stuck in bed. Binge watch Supernatural on Netflix, even though I’ve seen every episode, or read my third romance novel this week.
I decide to grace my TV with Sam, Dean, Cas and Crowley. Halfway into the episode, I Iook out my window and see my dad pulling into the driveway. Should I pretend I’m asleep? My mom surely told him what happened. When my door opens, the twenty questions begin. I easily deflect all of them, and then he finally asks me how I’m feeling. I would say I’m in pain, but I don’t want to seem weak. So I say I’m just sore and need some sleep, but I’ll be good to go tomorrow. He leaves my room, and I fall asleep to the sounds of Sam and Dean killing demons. I wish they would come kill the ones inside my head.
CHAPTER 4
Elli
One Year later
"Elli! Take a break already!"
“I’m fine! I promise!"
“No, you’re not. You haven’t slept in like three days and you need a break."
“I’m almost done with my project. I’ll sleep when I’m done!"
“Elli it’s not due until Friday! Today is Monday!"
“But what if something goes wrong? Then I’ll have time to fix it!"
“We all know you’ll be fine! Just get some sleep!"
“Fine! Just give me a minute!"
“I’m holding you to that! I know where you sleep!"
My roommate everyone. It’s a love-hate relationship. When I found out that there were apartments close to the school, I did the math and found that it would be cheaper than dorming. A few months into my first classes at Winter Park University, I met Tegan. Since she hated her roommate, I asked if she wanted to room with me, and we’ve been roomies ever since. I’ve never had a friend as close as Tegan. Somehow she just gets what’s going through my head half the time, and she’s all too quick to call me out on it.
The day I started University, I made a promise to myself. That I would be better. Do better. Try to eat healthy and work out as much as possible. Tegan doesn’t know about my past, but she was all too eager to become my gym partner.
“Yes, yes yes! I need to keep my girly figure! With the all those jocks walking around campus.. Mmmm, yes please!"
She can have the jocks. They all seem to flock to her any way. Since I’ve been here, Tegan has tried to drag me to multiple parties, but I make sure I have work on those nights. It’s not like she has much time to party either. We’re in the same grueling program. My focus right now is me. I feel like I lost some weight since I started here. But I haven’t looked in a mirror much and I still wear things that are a tad too big on me. I’ll go shopping when I lose more.
“Are you sleeping yet?!"
“Yes Tegan!"
“Good!"
I will say one thing, she does balance me out. Taking her advice I fall into a deep, nightmare-less sleep. Moving away from home was the most life changing thing I’ve ever done.
* * *
“I WIN!”
“What are you talking about?! You cheated!"
“I did not!"
“You distracted me!"
“How was I possibly distracting you?!"
“You have boobs, I’m a guy, do the math!"
“Don’t blame me cause you suck at Mario Kart!"
Opening my eyes, I see it’s dark outside. I get up, throw on my sweatshirt, and decide to listen to my growling stomach. I open my door and see Tegan doing a victory dance while a guy I recognize from the soccer team is all but drooling over her. When I step out, Tegan looks over and smiles.
“Well good morning sleeping beauty!”
“How long have I been out?"
“Considering it’s almost midnight, I’d say pretty much all day."
“Geez, why didn’t you wake me?"
“Please Elli. You needed it, and besides, I went to see if you wanted dinner and you were completely covered by all your freaking pillows."
When I look over to the guy on the couch, he looks like he’s enjoying every second of our little domestic.
“Hey, sorry. I’m Elli."
“I know."
“You know?"
“Yea, Tegan threatened to kill me if I woke you."
“Oh, well since neither of you woke me, I guess there will be no killing, which is quite a shame since we have to wait another year for Game of Thrones to
come back on."
They both laugh as I grab the grilled chicken Tegan made for dinner, and when I turn around, I realize I need to eat in my room because there is no way I am eating in front of this guy. Which reminds me.
“Wait what’s your name."
“Logan. "
“Okay, well Logan it was nice to meet you, but since Tegan allowed me to sleep all day, I have to go finish my project. See you around."
I grab the chicken and head to my room, when I hear Tegan yell.
“Wait, Elli!”
“Yes, Tegan."
“Logan is having a party Friday night. You’re coming right?"
“I have work Tegan."
“You do not! You haven’t made your schedule yet! I checked! You’re going to come and have a good time!"
“We’ll see Tegan."
“You need to live a little! Just promise me you’ll consider it."
“Maybe."
“Ugh you’re impossible. But It’s not a complete no, so I’ll keep my hopes up."
“Goodnight Tegan!"
I close my door so I can get some work done. I’m actually just about done with my project. It was pretty simple. Tegan likes to leave everything until last minute, which is why she’s playing Mario with Logan right now.
Six hours and a finished project later, I send my work into Mr. Jay and decide I need to get some sleep so i can go to the gym with Tegan after our morning class. Thankfully, I’m nightmare free for another night.
CHAPTER 5
Elli
“Tegan! Come on or we’re going to be late for class!”
“Ughhh why did we get put into an 8 a.m. lab?!”
“Because we decided to major in Graphic Design, where there is no choosing your schedule.”
Throwing the pillow over her head, she lets out a groan.
“Come on, I’ll treat for Starbucks.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
Twenty minutes later and I’m online ordering my tea and Tegan’s pretty drink while she does her makeup in the car.
“Yo, is Tegan here?”
Turning around I see Logan and half the soccer team walking up to me. Nothing like getting straight to the point. Deep breaths Elli. This is not high school.
“Hey Logan. Tegan’s in the car.”
“Alright cool. Give me a second guys.”
When he turns to leave, I’m left waiting for our drinks while I get looks from the rest of Logan’s gang. I try to look busy on my phone and as soon as my order is ready, I grab our drinks and walk out the door. Coincidentally just as Logan is walking away from my car, and ignoring me completely.
I look back at the team in Starbucks laughing at whatever is being said. Probably about me. I may be overthinking it, but hey, I’m used to it. Just ignore it.
Throwing on my smile, Tegan eyes me suspiciously as I hand her the drink with over flowing whip cream.
“What’s wrong?”
“What do you mean?”
“I know that look. What happened?”
“Nothing! I’m just tired.”
“Mhhmm. sure.”
“Stop pestering me, we’re going to be late!”
* * *
Please no. Why do I do this to myself? As I look up on the board and see my project being displayed, I’m filled with joy, but mostly horror, as the whole class takes turns glancing in my direction.
“…...And this class is what an A looks like. Great job Elli!”
“Thank you sir.”
Right then, Tegan whispers over to me “Really? You handed it in already?”
“Yea last night after you stopped taunting Logan over Mario and took him in your room.”
“Oh hush. You know Logan has a lot of friends. I could hook you up with one of them. Maybe at the party?”
The look on my face must say it all.
“Okay okay! It was worth a shot!”
I turn my attention back towards Mr. Jay and listen to him dissect my project and how I did things the way I did. I went a little above and beyond since I know most of these programs already. The assignment was to create a portfolio with a recurring theme, using pictures you’ve taken. So I used the pictures I took of my brothers hockey team and themed my portfolio to innocent athletic youth without the influence of competitive parents. Out of all the pictures I’ve taken, I picked out my favorites and designed them in a way to highlight the innocence in each picture. The one being shown in the front of the class right now is a candid shot of my brother with his best friend Shane, smiling in all their gear, playing around with the puck without a care in the world, at one of their practices. I sent this one to my mom when I finished it and she already printed it out and framed it for my brother.
“…and this is a very nice use of a vignette, but it’s extremely subtle, just enough to keep drawing your eyes to the smiling boys. Elli, where did you take these pictures?”
“That’s my brother and his hockey team sir. He plays back home in New York. I took these pictures on our last break.”
He nods his head approvingly as he ends the class with final direction. “Okay class, take these recommendations and I expect to have some interesting projects to look at on Friday.”
As the class gets up, I collect my things and mentally prepare myself for the workout I’m about to put myself through.
* * *
“You’re coming.”
“No Im not.”
“You don’t have work and you need other friends besides Sam and Dean.”
“I do have friends!”
“REAL FRIENDS ELLI! Not Fictional!
“But Fictional friends are so much easier to deal with. They don’t annoy me to go to parties!”
“You’re impossible!”
“And you love me.”
“Not right now! Please Elli!”
“Tegan I really don’t want to.”
“Fine. But next time, you’re going.”
“Yea, yea, of course.”
I watch as Tegan walks out the door in her turquoise sundress and black sandals, with her red hair done in a loose side braid. How does she look so effortlessly beautiful? I don’t get it. Just then my phone rings and I see it’s my dad. Our phone calls are rare, since I’m always working, and when he does call, usually I’m at the gym and he just lets me go to focus on my work out. But my heart rate never fails to speed up when his name pops up on the caller ID. It’s like I feel like I’m doing something wrong and I’m about to get caught.
“Hey dad.”
“What are you up to?”
“Just got back from the gym.”
“Working hard? How long were you there for?”
“Two hours.”
“Have you seen a difference?”
“Yea a little.”
“Eating right?”
“Yes.”
“Just make sure you’re not eating junk.”
“I’m not.”
“Ok. How was your class this month?”
“I got an A.”
“Good. Remember, network. You’re grades are main priority.”
“Yes father, I know.”
“Alright well your brother has practice. Here’s mom.”
“Hey El. How was class?”
“Good I got an A on my final project.”
“Oohhhh shocker.”
“Yea, yea very funny.”
“Fine. Alright well I’m going with them to hockey so I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you.”
“Love you too. Bye.”
Well, that was painless, but my heart rate hasn’t slowed down. I don’t know what comes over me, but I decide to walk over to Tegan’s floor length mirror and pick up my shirt. A routine I used to do daily before I moved here and refused to buy a mirror for my room. I look over the number one cause of everything wrong in my life and disgust hits me like a train. My stretch marks on my chest aren’t my main concern. Neither are the red marks from the three bras I continue to wear. It’s my sto
mach that makes me want to give up even trying to better myself. No matter how hard I work, how little I eat, nothing seems to happen. It’s like a losing battle no matter what I do. I’ve contemplated going to the pharmacy to pick up some kind of diet pill, but I’m a coward.
It’s crazy how one phone call with my dad can just bring back all of these feelings when just a little while ago I was fine. As tears threaten to fall, I know I can’t stay here or else I’m going to do something I regret. So I grab my keys and my hoodie and I go to the one place that I can breathe a little bit easier.
* * *
Pulling up to the ice rink, I see the hockey team is just getting out of practice. I grab my bag with my skates from the trunk and head towards the now empty rink. When I see Chris, the manager of the rink, I head over his way.
“Hey Chris, mind if I skate a bit?”
“Not at all! Everything is cleared out till tomorrow, but I’ll be here for a bit doing some paperwork. Just let me know when you leave so I can lock up.”
“No problem! Thanks Chris!”
My dad somehow knows everyone in the hockey community. Chris is actually from New York and played with my dad in a men’s league for a while. Then he got a job working for the rink down here so he could be closer to his family. So when I started school here, I came to the public sessions after my first few expected anxiety attacks from starting a new school, and recognized Chris. He offered me a job, but I was already working at the school since I can get my school work done while I’m there. Also, because my class schedule is all over the place, and I didn’t want the added stress of having Chris go crazy not knowing when I was available. So now he just lets me use the rink when no one is here.
Thin Ice Page 2
