“No way! What’s your favorite song?”
“I’m Made of Wax Larry, What are You Made of? You?”
“Either All I Want or This is the House that Doubt Built. They both mean a lot to me.”
Actually, no one really knows how much these songs mean to me. I’ve never been able to put how I feel into words, but some how these songs are so on point, it’s scary. For the next few minutes we talk music and concerts we’ve been to, and then Dylan pulls into a park. I see a playground, a ton of kids, and a huge field surrounded by trees and picnic tables.
“I’m pretty sure if we go to the playground, those little kids are going to kick our butts for stealing their swings.”
“I think I can take them.”
“I don’t know about that. They could gang up on you.”
“We could tag team.”
“No way am I going up against those kids. My brother has his entire team over my house all the time, and it never ends well for me.”
Laughing, Dylan replies, “looks like I’m going to have to show those kids how to treat a beautiful lady.”
“Please, you tell them that and they’ll laugh in your face.”
“Blackmail is a wonderful thing. I should know. My youth coach used to bribe us with ice-cream after every game if we won.”
We hop out of the Jeep and Dylan heads around to the trunk and grabs a picnic basket. My heart speeds up a little and I really hope this doesn’t turn into a disaster.
“A picnic?”
“I say we worked up an appetite. And it’s gorgeous out. I’m taking you to my favorite spot, come on.”
We walk a few minutes on the park trail and stop at a table that overlooks a lake. There are flowers surrounding the entire perimeter of the water and a bridge in the distance. It really is a beautiful site.
Staring in amazement at the beauty surrounding us, I have to ask, “How’d you find this?”
“I go running on this trail every morning.”
“Tegan and I go to the gym everyday, but this is so much nicer. I’ve always loved being outside.”
“You could come with me, if you want.”
“There is no way I’d be able to keep up with you.”
“I somehow doubt that, but I’d keep pace with you. It’s not a race for me. More like a way to just start my day and clear my head.”
“Yea, we’ll see. But seriously this place is beautiful.”
We sit down at the table and he starts pulling out food from the basket. Pretzels, water bottles, and sandwiches.
“I guessed chicken and lettuce on a wrap. Is that okay?”
Can I go for the ‘I’m not hungry’ excuse again? Think Elli. Just play it cool. “That’s actually perfect. Thank you. You’ve really thought this all through, haven’t you?”
“Is it working?”
“Is what working?”
“Me trying to impress you?”
Smirking, I look down at my hands. I’m picking again. When did I start? Judging by the fact I’m not bleeding yet, probably when he pulled out the food.
“Why are you trying to impress me Dylan?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I really like you Elli. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met before.”
Mumbling to myself ‘you have no idea’, I look up at his puzzled face. I give him an encouraging smile and try to come off as somewhat sane.
“Elli, can I ask you a question?”
“You don’t have to ask if you can ask me a question. You can just ask.”
“Why do you find it so hard to believe I like you? I can tell by the look on your face you’re fighting really hard right now to think this out.”
I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know what to think. “No ones ever liked me this way Dylan. I’m a little hesitant to let people into my messed up world.”
“I find it hard to believe no one has ever liked you.”
Looking down, I reply “It’s not that hard to believe for me. You could do so much better than me.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I really don’t know how to answer that. For one, I’m not exactly thin and….”
“Stop right there.”
Finally looking up, I see him stand and make his way to my side of the table. He grabs my hands, that now sport fresh pink skin, as he looks at me and says “I don’t know what’s happened to make you think so little of yourself, but I can assure you this; for what little time I’ve spent with you I already know you’re smart, kind, funny, passionate, hell I could make a whole list. When I saw you skating, I knew in an instant I needed to get to know you. You are so beautiful Elli. Everyone has different body types, and yours is full of killer curves. You hide them, when you should embrace them. The way you let loose today on the paintball field was a site to see. It looked like you didn't have a care in the world. Not many girls would even touch a paintball gun. No girl I’ve ever met has even stepped foot on an ice rink, let alone know anything about hockey, and you’re the first person I’ve ever met that has the same taste in music as me. So no, I can’t do much better then you Elli, because no one even comes close. To let something so insignificant as weight cloud your judgment, especially when it’s not even an issue, is extremely heartbreaking.”
Yup, I’m crying. Didn’t even realize it until Dylan started wiping away my tears and then brought my face to his chest and just held me. I’ve never been held like this, ever. It’s extremely comforting and I never want to move. Especially in his arms. It’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Just me, and him. He shuts up the voices yelling in the back of my head that I’m not good enough. Pulling away and wiping my eyes, I look up at him and his face is full of concern. He continues to hold my hands as my voice breaks when I say “I’m sorry. I’m not a cryer, I swear.”
“You don’t have to apologize for your feelings Elli. Especially not to me.” He grabs the piece of hair that fell in front of my face and tucks it behind my ear before grabbing another piece and pulling it in front of my face so I could see. Smirking, he says “You’ve got a bit of paint in your hair.”
I let out a quick chuckle and wipe my eyes again before saying “I must look like a mess.”
“A beautiful mess.”
I want to thank him. And I want so badly to believe him. “Thank you for saying all that.”
“I speak the truth.” Then he raises a hand and puts up three fingers and says “scouts honor.”
“I’m pretty sure that only counts if you’re a scout.”
“Hey now, one year in the boy scouts has to count for something, right?”
He hugs me again before his next question. “So are you going to let me continue taking you out and telling you how beautiful you are? Or am I going to have to play you for it?”
“Are you sure?”
The deadpan look he gives me is lethal.
“I mean.. yes Dylan, I’d like that, a lot. You can go easy with the beautiful part though.”
“Absolutely not, beautiful. So, just to make sure, are there any ex boyfriends that will eventually realize how stupid they were for letting you go that I should worry about?”
“Truth?”
“Truth.”
“You were my first kiss Dylan.”
He looks stunned, but a happy stunned, if that makes any sense. “There’s no way.”
“It’s the truth,” I manage to admit.
“I’m about to be your second kiss, too. And hopefully, all the others after that.”
I smile and take a second before I decide to live in the moment. “I hope so too.”
Then he kisses me. I just laid so much on the table, and by some miracle, he still wants something to do with me.
CHAPTER 14
Dylan
“Truth?”
“Truth.”
“You were my first kiss Dylan.”
That takes me by surprise. “Theres no way.”
“It’s the truth.”
I’m way to
o happy with that fact. It’s like she’s all mine. Totally untouched by anyone else. “I’m about to be your second kiss, too. And hopefully, all the others after that.”
“I hope so too.”
And just like that, my lips are on hers and it’s amazing. She just opened up so much and I can’t believe she’s giving me a chance. Still not wanting to take it too far, I slowly break the kiss and look into her blotchy red eyes.
“Okay, so now I have another question.”
“Of course you do.”
“Why are you afraid to eat in front of me?”
“You noticed, huh? If it makes you feel any better, it’s not just you.”
“Why Elli?”
“I can’t eat in front of people. I mean, Tegan yea, cause I live with her and all. But yea, it’s just a thing. Told you. I’m screwed up.”
“I want to understand Elli. I really do.”
“It’s just that if I eat healthy in front of people, the first thing that comes to their mind is, ‘Oh look she’s trying to lose weight’. But then some people are like, ‘oh look the cow is eating’. It’s just not a battle you can win.”
This is the stuff she thinks about? How is it someone could have their thoughts so tainted that they can’t even eat in front of other people?
“You know this stuff really isn’t easy to admit Dylan. But I want you to know what you’re getting yourself into. I’d rather you get out sooner rather than waste your time.”
“You’re not getting rid of me that easily missy. But right now it’s just me and you, and we’re going to enjoy a picnic on the lake without you having one thought about what you look like to anyone else. Got it?” She looks down at the wrap I bought her and slowly brings her eyes back up to face mine and shakes her head yes.
“Good.” I give her one quick kiss on her lips, then a peck on her nose for good measure, and unwrap our food and eat in an extremely comfortable silence, exchanging smiles between bites, listening to the sounds of the park.
* * *
When we finish our lunch, we pack up the basket, take a walk over the bridge and then head back towards my car. I open her door for her, ignoring all of her protests, and wait for her to get in before shutting it and going to the drivers side. I take hold of her hand as I drive out of the parking lot, while the radio is faintly playing a country station.
“Thank you Dylan. For everything. Really.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me y'know. But thank you for opening up to me Elli. I realize it’s not easy. But i’m not going anywhere, and I hope you can trust me.
“I’m starting to believe I can.” She looks over and smiles at me, causing my heart to skip a beat. Right then, her phone rings and when she looks at the caller ID, her smile turns downward. She clicks ignore and puts it into her pocket.
“Everything alright?”
“Yea, just my dad. Probably wants to talk about my classes this month. I’ll call him back later.”
I feel like there’s more to it, but I’m going to leave it alone for now. She’s opened up a lot today, and I dont want to push her. Just then her phone goes off again signaling a text. She looks at it and then over at me and says “Tegan wants to know if you’d like to join our movie night. She just invited a friend of hers from the football team over.”
“Is that what you want to do?” I ask.
“I don’t mind. We can pick the movie if you want.”
“Wreck It Ralph?”
Her smile is contagious. We head over to her apartment and make our way up the three flights of stairs which in itself is a workout. When we make it to her door, she opens it and the first thing I see is Tegan dancing in the middle of the living room, and a guy who looks like someone from Jersey Shore sitting on the couch.
“Win again Tegan?” Elli says.
“Undefeated baby! Oh hey Dylan! Guys this is David. David, this is Elli and hopefully her boyfriend Dylan.”
“Tegan!”
“Call it like I see it El.”
Shaking her head laughing, Elli says hi to David and nods for me to follow her. I do the bro-shake with the guy and almost hurl at the amount of cologne he has on. Tegan strikes me as a girl who deserves better than what she goes for, but she looks happy, and lives for the moment. Her and Elli are polar opposites in that department.
While Tegan and David continue whatever they’re playing, I follow Elli into her room and I’m immediately immersed in her world only half way through the door. Her full size bed is right next to the window, and in the opposite corner is an art desk. She also has a flat screen TV mounted next to a bookshelf filled with tons of books and DVDs. I can totally see this as Elli’s room. Her comforter is gray and yellow and everything surrounds that color scheme.
I walk over to her art desk and see she has her sketchbook open. I look to her for approval before I start flipping through the pages. Holy crap. She’s good. Like, really good. The first drawing is a portrait, of I’m guessing her brother in his hockey equipment. It looks like she took a picture of him and just made it black and white. The next page is a sketch of kids playing on the beach. A little girl and a little boy building a sandcastle.
“Elli, these are incredible. When you said you could draw, I didn’t think anything like this.”
“They’re just sketches. I don’t get a lot of time to draw when I have class.”
I put her sketch book down on the desk and look at the bookshelf that has an impressive amount of books on it.
“I’m guessing you like to read?”
“Again, not a lot of time, but yea. Love too. The ones on the top shelf are my favorites.”
Looking over the top shelf, I’ve never heard of any of these books except the Harry Potter series. Towards the end of the shelf, there’s a picture frame with a photo of Elli and I’m guessing her siblings. They’re all laughing and making faces at the camera. Elli is squinting, the other girl is posing like a model, and the young boy is covering his eyes in mock horror.
“That’s my sister Julie and my brother Dom.”
“It looks like you guys are close.”
“We have our moments, but yea.”
Calling in from the other room, Tegan yells, “Elli! Were ordering chinese. What do you guys want?!”
There’s a momentary look of panic in her eyes and then it slowly fades as she answers “The usual”.
I go over to her and wrap her up in my arms and kiss her on the top of her head as she lays on my chest. She wraps her hands around my waist and we stand like that for a minute before Tegan calls out for my order.
“Surprise me,” I call back. Then I look down at Elli and decide to ask a very important question. “So question.”
“Uh oh.”
We break apart enough for her to look up at me, and I look at her with as much seriousness as I can muster before asking “Will you paint me like one of your French Girls?”
The laughter that erupts from her chest has us both laughing like idiots until Tegan comes in and raises her eyebrows. She waits a second so we can catch our breath and then asks “Have we chosen a movie?”
Elli goes to her book shelf, takes out Wreck It Ralph and tosses it to Tegan.
“Again with this one Elli? We’ve watched it like a million times!”
“Dylan hasn't seen it.”
Tegan looks at me as she drops her mouth to the floor and covers it with her hand. Somehow I think she’s making fun of Elli and her obsession with this movie. “Well we can’t have that now can we?” she says.
“No Tegan, I don’t think we can.”
Tegan smiles before leaving the room, and Elli shows me around the rest of her absurdly neat apartment. When the Chinese comes we all sit down on the couch to eat and put the movie on. Elli sits next to me and I realize Tegan is watching her intently, but she goes unnoticed by Elli who is completely absorbed in this Candy Land, video game movie.
Suddenly I am completely absorbed in the film and I realize why Elli thinks it so gr
eat. I didn’t realize it was animated, so that’s probably why I’ve never seen it. The last animated movie I saw was The Lion King, I think. But this movie is on a whole other level. When we start finishing up our food, I pull Elli in closer to me and she comes willingly. She smiles up at me before curling up to my side and laying her head on my shoulder. This just feels right, and for the next hour and a half, we relax and watch this movie that is easily becoming one of my favorites, for more than one reason.
When it’s over, David and Tegan disappear and I head out so Elli can get some rest before her class starts tomorrow. I kiss her on her forehead first, and then bring her in for a lasting kiss on her lips. Again, not wanting to push her, I slowly back away but continue to hold her.
“Thank you again for today Dylan. It was perfect.”
“I should be thanking you, beautiful. Will you text me tomorrow and let me know how your class goes?”
“Sure! I’m actually taking two this month. Methods of Design and Digital Storytelling. I’ve been looking forward to this month. It should be fun, but a lot of work.”
“I’m glad you enjoy it. And I’m sure you’ll do great. I can’t wait to hear about it tomorrow.” I bring her in for a quick kiss and slowly leave her apartment after saying goodnight.
On my way home, I decide to throw on some A Day to Remember. Specifically Elli’s favorite songs. I’ve heard these songs a million times, but tonight as they play through my stereo, I really listen. The lyrics are so heartbreaking and my heart breaks a little more for the girl who is trying so hard to hide how broken she is. But I smile for the girl I know she can be.
CHAPTER 15
Elli
Thin Ice Page 7
