Nobody's Baby

by Carol Burnside

  “I’d like to pick up my car before we head back today,” she blurted out, not at all the ice-breaker she’d rehearsed.

  Rio glanced at her. “We may not have time. You’re appointment isn’t until after lunch, then we’ve got the drive back. The snow is supposed to start mid-afternoon.”

  “It won’t take but a few extra minutes. I really want to get it today.”

  “You’re welcome to drive this one any time you need to.”

  “I appreciate the offer, but that’s not practical. What if you had an emergency with A.J. and I’d taken the car into Winter Park? I worried the whole time I was gone yesterday. Besides, I’m leaving soon, and for that, I’ll need my own car.”

  His hands tightened on the steering wheel, and he remained silent for several minutes.

  Finally, Kate couldn’t stand the tension. “Rio, you knew this was coming. I should’ve left weeks ago.”

  “How soon?” He didn’t take his eyes off the road, but it felt as if he were staring her down.

  She hadn’t decided on a definite departure until that moment, but his continued reluctance to let her go was proof she couldn’t keep prolonging the inevitable. There would never be a right moment. “Tomorrow.”

  “What about baby care? There’s still tons I don’t know about. Like when he starts on baby food and crawls and starts teething and —”

  “That’s months away. I wouldn’t have been here for that anyway. You’ll research what you can and consult A.J.’s pediatrician or your mom on everything else.” She wouldn’t consider leaving if she wasn’t sure Rio was ready, but he’d excelled at every baby care task she’d had him attempt. They’d even gone over what to do in case of illness, including teething symptoms, ear infections and colds. “You’re doing great, and you know what? You did it all by yourself. Every time. Diapers, bottles of formula, burping and even baths. Thanks to you he’s a beautiful, healthy boy.”

  “How would you know? You don’t even look at him.”

  “Don’t go there. I see him plenty.”

  “Sorry. This isn’t ... you caught me off guard.”

  It wasn’t what he wanted. She got that but couldn’t tell him a part of her felt the same way. Though she’d more or less nixed more kisses weeks ago, they hadn’t entirely eliminated them until her previous attempt at leaving. The casual touches, the flirtations had stopped cold. It scared her how much she missed Rio even while sitting right next to him, missed all of it. Not because she missed having a guy in her life, but she missed them because she’d done them with Rio. If anything, not engaging in those things made her want them and him even more.

  Another complication. Another reason to go now. Another indication she’d already waited too long to leave.

  Chapter Eleven

  She was free to have a sex life again. Not that Kate had ever had much of one to begin with, but somehow that fact was irrelevant. After hearing Dr. Krieger’s pronouncement that she was cleared to “resume all normal activities, including intercourse,” Kate couldn’t get it out of her mind.

  Must be the fact that she hadn’t engaged in such activity for well over a year now.

  Or her hormones were still messed up from having the baby.

  Or both.

  “Miss Morrissey?” There was a slight irritation in the voice calling her name.

  “I’m sorry. Did you say something?” she asked the woman behind the exit desk.

  “I asked if you’d like to pay cash for your insurance co-pay or put it on a credit card.”

  “Oh. There shouldn’t be a balance. The Hawthorne’s prepaid for everything, including my wellness check.”

  “Is there a problem?” Rio asked from over her shoulder.

  “It’s nothing. I’ll handle it,” Kate responded, pulling out her wallet. She remembered all too well him accusing her of being money hungry and wouldn’t let that be his final impression.

  “I don’t see ...” the woman began, then beamed at them over her flat screen. “Found it. No problem at all. Notation right here says prepaid funds are in another account.”

  Kate thought Rio had moved away, so when the clerk handed her the completed paperwork, she folded it, whirled to go and ran right into him. Her wallet flew out of the purse she hadn’t taken time to close and the paperwork floated to the floor as if in slow motion.

  To Kate, it seemed like everything was in slow-mo. Her grabbing for the wallet, Rio chasing the papers, she remembering the doctor’s scribbled notation and pivoting to get to the papers before he did, their heads colliding at jaw and crown. “Ow!”

  “Ow. Geez, Kate, what are you doing? I had them.” Scowling and rubbing his scalp, he handed her the papers still folded.

  “Sorry.” She rubbed her jaw, trying not to look too relieved. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “Are you okay? Nothing broken? I’ve been told on occasion that I’m hardheaded.”

  She looked up to find humor in his gaze. The man surprised her at the oddest moments, keeping her on her toes. “I’ll live. You?”

  “Yeah.” He stepped back, leaned over the waiting room couch and picked up A.J., wide awake in his carrier.

  Once they were in the car with the heater running, Kate buckled in. She was startled to feel Rio’s hand close over her coat sleeve.

  “You sure you’re all right? There’s nothing you’re not telling me?”

  Kate’s face and chest flushed bright red, the heat making the idea of shedding her coat and knit scarf attractive. She opened her mouth, and babbling spilled forth. “What’s there to tell? It was a wellness check. I’m fine. Right as rain. Good as new. Completely ... healed.”

  Oh, God. Why had she added that last bit? Kate suppressed an urge to hide under the seat and prayed he wouldn’t make the connection. Please, please, please.

  In the silence that followed, Rio’s gaze traveled over her face, down to where her hand clenched the seatbelt. He faced forward, reached to start the running engine, paused and gripped the wheel. “Kate —”

  “Can we go get my car now?” The question came in a rush.

  Rio pulled in a long breath and let it out slow. One terse nod later, they were on their way and one step closer to goodbye.

  * * * * *

  It was nearly dark when Rio parked in front of the condo and heaved a sigh of relief that they’d all made it back without incident. The snow had started early, making their progress slow and the roads damn near impassable the last few miles. He’d slowed to a snail’s pace, worrying that, behind him in her little car, Kate would lose control on the slippery asphalt.

  Didn’t help any that it was past time for A.J.’s bottle. The little guy’s opinion about the delay was currently being expressed with vigor and volume. Rio worked fast to get the baby inside, but the decibel level drew Kate’s notice.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked from somewhere behind him as he struggled with the car seat release.

  “He’s hungry. Should’ve had his bottle a half-hour ago.” He threw the words over his shoulder as the latch finally gave way. Rio pulled A.J. free, tossed a small comforter over the kid’s head and grabbed the prepared bottle ensconced in an insulated cozy. “Would you bring in his bag and lock up?”

  “Sure. Go ahead.” She gave them a wide berth as he carried A.J. inside.

  There was nothing new about that, but for some reason it made him angry. Following her no kissing dictate the past few weeks had been harder than learning to care for A.J. Though Rio had enjoyed the kisses, the physical stuff wasn’t what he missed most. Huh. That was a new one. He liked flirting with her, seeing her pleased smile and the feeling that something good was growing between them. These days, he mourned the easy friendship and wanted it back.

  Thanks to the cozy, the formula was still a passable temperature. Rio plopped it in A.J.’s open mouth and somehow still managed to get the baby out of his snowsuit. Rio’s ease with the little boy was relatively new too, and a result of Hank’s brief visit.

>   The encounter with Hank had brought about so many changes within, Rio had needed time to process them. He’d had plenty of rocking-the-baby moments to do that. His old man’s behavior was that of a schoolyard bully, with Rio and his mom the targets. He had no desire to reenact that behavior. Since the older man didn’t have the upper hand anymore, he’d slunk away.

  Also not a behavior Rio intended to emulate.

  Realizing that had been freeing, especially where A.J. was concerned. And since Rio had seen the light, other possibilities for the future opened up. Possibilities involving Kate.

  A.J. wasted no time sucking down his liquid meal. Rio cursed the timing. He needed to talk to Kate, but with A.J. in his arms that was unlikely. Still, he had to try. Her decision to leave was sudden but not unexpected. This time, he had to convince her to stay, to give him more time. He had to make her see she could have her dream and be with him.

  As if he’d conjured her up, Kate came through the door with a gust of Arctic air and blowing snow.

  “Wow. It’s really coming down out there!” She shook her head, sending snow flying. Placing the diaper bag within his reach, she headed toward her room.

  “Thanks, Kate. His patience ran out about ten miles back.” As he’d hoped, Kate halted and turned toward him.

  “No problem.” She gave him the tight smile she often used when A.J. was present. “All that screaming and you didn’t lose your cool with him.”

  As I-told-you-so’s go, hers was pretty slick. “Go ahead and look smug, lady. Seeing Hank again changed things for me. It was weird, but I felt disconnected to him. Before, I couldn’t see past the possibility of inherited traits. Now, I see the differences between us and know there’s no way could I be like him, so yeah, I guess you were right.”

  “I wasn’t mentioning it to prove anything, but because I’m glad you’ve come to terms with it. You’re a good man, Rio. You just needed to see it and trust yourself.” She turned toward her room again.

  He wasn’t letting her off the hook that easily. “Could we talk later, after I get this little guy to bed?”

  Her shoulders fell. “What is there to talk about? I really need to pack, Rio. If you’re hoping to change my mind again —”

  “Forecast said eight to ten inches. At the rate it’s coming down out there, I suspect that estimate is on the low side.”

  She frowned. “Meaning?”

  “You’ve lived in Colorado long enough to know neither one of us is going anywhere tomorrow.”

  “But the snow plows ...”

  “We’re off the beaten path, so to speak. Would it be so terrible to spend another day in my company?” He took a risk and let her see the dare in his eyes.

  She looked away. “Of course not. I just want to get started on the next phase of my life.”

  So much for his hope that she was escaping him to avoid temptation. Looks like he’d have to remind her how sweet was the path they’d started down. “After you pack, then, if you must. I’ll make us some hot cocoa.”

  Kate hesitated, then nodded. Slipping into her room, she closed the door.

  Rio’s luck held and A.J. fell asleep with little coaxing. Rio touched his lips to the kid’s forehead before laying him down grateful for the warm feelings he’d developed for the little tyke. He was actually pretty laid back for a baby and growing on Rio every day. That made the uncle/daddy role a lot easier.

  Now it was time for cocoa and Kate. Time to revive their flirtation. Time to convince her to stay.

  * * * * *

  Rio was up to something. Kate was convinced of it.

  She bemoaned the delay of her trip as she packed, but even Rio couldn’t control the weather. Nothing to be done about it. No one to blame. She just had to drink her cocoa, talk to him awhile and stick to her plans.

  Easier said than done. Every time she was around him, the memories of slow, drugging kisses and his talented touch overwhelmed her.

  Packing completed except for last second items, she made her way to the kitchen, which was cunningly modern, but made to look rustic. She found Rio sitting at the bar side of a long island, staring into a mug of cocoa as if it supplied answers he sought.

  “Penny for your thoughts,” she said, keeping her voice soft so as not to startle him.

  “Not even worth that,” he joked and pulled out a bar stool next to his own.

  Clever of him. She had intended to sit a couple seats down. No need starting things back up that would go nowhere. Especially tonight when she was having trouble remembering why she had a no kissing rule. “Did you want to talk about something specific?”

  He took his time answering, first pouring, adding marshmallows, then sliding her mug across the counter. “I believe a proper thank you is in order, don’t you?”

  “You’re right. I have much to thank you for.”

  “From me to you, not the other way around.”

  “I’ve been well paid, Rio. Thanks are neither expected nor necessary.”

  “So now you’d like me to believe everything you did was for money? I know you better now. Not buying it.”

  “I appreciate your saying that. I did try to help James and Allie achieve their dream of a family. I also thought you and A.J. should have a good start together. But I was paid to have the baby, paid to come here and teach you to cope. There’s no getting around that.”

  He closed his hand over hers in a loose hold. “You weren’t paid to be my friend, to have faith in me. Those things are invaluable.”

  She stared at his hand on hers but resisted the panicky urge to pull away. No need letting him know how much he affected her. “My pleasure.”

  “And mine.” He threaded their fingers together, then caressed the back of her hand with his thumb. “I miss you, Kate.”

  “How can that be? I haven’t left yet.” She used false levity to keep the conversation steered away from serious matters and attempted to extract her hand. He tightened his hold enough that it would be an obvious tug of war if she continued to evade him.

  “Don’t do that. You know what I mean.” His voice was deep and quiet, shimmying over her nerve endings. “You don’t have to leave to achieve your dreams. There’s something good between us. I know you feel it too. Stay. We’ll find a way to get you that degree.”

  He leaned in and brushed his lips over hers. Just a touch, a reminder of what was between them that she felt all the way to her toes.

  Kate would forever associate the smell of chocolate with her memories of Rio. Her heart recorded the moment with crystal clarity, including small details. The tiny lines across his knuckles. Long, strong fingers holding hers captive. Steam rising through the cloud of melted marshmallows topping their cocoa. He wanted her. She wanted him. The certainty made her heart thud against her ribcage with excitement.

  What was she going to do about it?

  A flash of memories jolted through her. Years of waiting, putting her needs aside for her brothers. Yearning to move forward with her life, but trapped by her own sense of responsibility. Breath-arresting panic zipped through Kate’s veins. She couldn’t let anything destroy her chance for the college experience she’d missed out on. Not after all she’d endured to achieve it.

  The decision brought oxygen back into her lungs, and her voice returned. “You don’t know how tempting that is. Or maybe you do, but I have to do this my way.”

  He exhaled slowly, his expression more guarded now. “Is what I’m seeing skewed? If this is one-sided —”

  “No. No. I get what you’re saying. Things are ... easy with you.” Too easy, and at the same time so, so complicated. Therein lay the problem.

  “You say that as if it’s a bad thing.”

  “What’s been developing between us feels like something that could be special. Nothing bad about that except the timing. You’ve just accepted and embraced a long-term responsibility. I think that’s wonderful. I do, and I admire you for it. But for the first time in years, I’m free of responsibility for anyone bu
t myself. I’ve earned the right to enjoy that.”

  “You wouldn’t have to give up your dream. I promise. It’s not like I’m asking you to take on A.J.”

  “I disagree. You and A.J. are a package deal now, the same as if he was your son. Any woman you invite into your life should measure up as a mother figure, and if you’re not thinking that way, you should. I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t go after my vision of my dream.”

  “And if your dream doesn’t prove to be what you expect or need it to be?” His gaze searched her face, his brows knotted with concern.

  Well, now. She’d never considered that possibility. The look on Rio’s face made her think she should’ve. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll deal with that if or when I need to.”

  He looked down at their hands, his thumb sliding back and forth from her knuckles to her wrist. After a long pause, he halted the movement and raised his gaze to her face. “Promise me something. If you get to that point and you’re trying to figure out what to do, remember this. Remember us.”

  Looking at the sadness etched on his face, Kate had to stifle the impulse to throw her arms around him and kiss it away. And because she craved him more now than ever, she slipped off the barstool and withdrew her hand from his. All she could manage before fleeing the room was, “I promise.”

  Putting distance between them didn’t keep her mind from returning to their conversation, replaying the touches, their kiss, the quiet words that dropped like tears in her heart.

  * * * * *

  Rio was surprised to hear a tentative knock at his bedroom door later that evening. He reached for the sweater he’d just taken off, changed his mind and opened the door to find Kate on the other side. Being in such close proximity to her brought a fist of carnal hunger slamming into his lower body again. Damn it. He didn’t need this. Wanting her. Every. Single. Time. And her staying just out of reach.