The Art of Being Indifferent (The Twisted Family Tree Series)

by Brooke Moss

  I moved away from her touch. For a second, just a second, I felt like Jessa and I might be sort of like sisters. And for a second I thought I might find a way to actually fit in. What a joke. I didn’t fit in. There wasn’t a place for me at this table. Hell, there may not have been a place for me at this stupid school.

  “Come on, Posey,” Jessa encouraged, picking up her tray. “Let’s just go.”

  “Yeah, go Posey.” Maddie grinned wickedly, and I swear for a second flames danced in her eyes. “Admit you’re not wanted here.”

  Drew stood up at his table, and started walking towards us.

  Oh, crap, no. Don’t come over here. This is too humiliating.

  “You don’t have to go this far.” Natalie snatched her tray off the table and glowered down at Maddie. “Seriously. Stop.”

  I looked away from Drew. I didn’t need his sympathy. I didn’t need Natalie’s or Jessa’s, either. I didn’t need any of these people. Swallowing the growing lump in my throat, I grabbed my corndog, and popped it into my mouth. “Don’t worry about me, guys, she’s just jealous because I spend every afternoon with the guy who dumped her.”

  Maddie was on her feet in an instant, knocking her crumpled can to the linoleum floor with a clatter. The entire cafeteria went silent. “Who do you think you are?”

  I jumped up and faced her, blood pumping through my veins. I’d only been in one fight, and I’d gotten my ass kicked, but I doubted Maddie Mulcahey could compare to the girl from the downtown Seattle bus depot. And holy Moses, it would feel great to punch the fake tan right off her face. “I don’t know,” I managed to say through grit teeth. “Why don’t we go out to the courtyard and discuss it?”

  A warm hand came down on my shoulder, and I knew whose it was without even having to look. “Posey,” Drew said softly. “Stop.”

  Maddie’s mouth pulled into a sneer. “Are you really touching her? Drew, she’s disgusting. She’s trash. She’s probably diseased. Her mom was probably a whore or something. Look at her.”

  Jerking away from Drew, I tried to push past Jessa. “Let me at her. I swear to—”

  “No!” Jessa blocked me. “Let me at her. Maddie, that’s my sister you’re talking to!”

  A teacher going through the lunch line turned around. “Hey! Is there a problem over there?”

  I couldn’t see anything in the room, except two things: Maddie’s face and the exit. All the people in the lunchroom blurred into the background. I had a choice. Throw myself at her, and ram her face into the leftover salad, or get the hell out of this place, and fast.

  “I…” Looking at Jessa, my words stalled.

  Her head tilted, and she pressed her lips together. “Oh, Posey…”

  Pity flared in her eyes and I freaking hated that. My insides cramped and the all-to-familiar tight skin feeling I always felt when the Coulters started getting too lovey-dovey returned.

  Shoving past her and Drew, I muttered, “I’m out of here.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Him.

  When Posey shoved the cafeteria door open, slamming it against the wall before charging out toward the parking lot, my heart squeezed in my chest. People were laughing and pointing at her back, and all of the cheerleaders—except Jessa and her friend—had gathered around my ex-girlfriend and begun fawning over her like she’d survived a mugging.

  Geez. Posey hadn’t even touched her, and if she had—Maddie had it coming.

  “Drew. Drew.” Maddie put her hands on her hips and stomped her foot. Yes, she stomped her foot. “Excuse me, I’m over here.”

  Mac passed by, holding a tray with four corndogs on it. “Told you your tutor was a freak. Though a catfight would’ve been cool to see.”

  “Shut up, Mac!” Alexis yelped, setting her own tray down and coming to Maddie’s aid. “Oh em gee, I only saw the tail end. What just happened?”

  Maddie’s lower lip started to tremble, and her minions help her back into her chair. Pressing a shaky hand to her head, she whimpered. “She just came at me. Did you hear the way she threatened me? I’ve never been spoken to like that before. I’m in shock.”

  Jessa groaned. “I’m out. I’ve lost my appetite.”

  “Me, too.” Natalie cast a nervous glance at Maddie and the other girls. “Let’s go.”

  “Fine. Go. See if I care.” Maddie watched them leave, shaking her head. Once they were gone, she turned her teary gaze on me. “Aren’t you going to do anything, Drew? Why are you just standing there?”

  I looked down at her, my mouth pulled into a line. Seriously, what had I seen in her? I mean, besides the obvious. Everything her dad preached every Sunday was lost on Maddie. Underneath the boobs and legs and blonde hair, she was completely disgusting. with no goodness in her core. She was nasty, inside and out.

  “You’re right,” I said finally. Maddie’s sly smile returned, but I didn’t give her a chance to speak again. “I’m out of here, too.”

  I heard Mac call my name as I pushed through the door, but didn’t turn back. My gut was churning like a damned washing machine. I had to find Posey. She needed a friend. She needed me.

  I was losing my mind.

  ***

  “Just leave me alone,” Posey shouted over her shoulder, her worn Chuck Taylor’s splashing in a puddle as she stomped down the side of the road.

  I moved my car forward slowly, stopping it in front of her, blocking her path. I’d only gotten my keys back the night before, after blowing my best time out of the water—pun intended—at practice. And yes, ditching school to pick up Posey was risky as hell, because if my dad found out, he would shit a solid gold brick, but I couldn’t help myself. My self-control disintegrated a little more each day when it came to Posey.

  Which was freaking weird, if you asked me.

  “Come on, get in,” I called, pointing up to the sky. “It’s going to rain again soon. And the forecast calls for hail tonight. You’re gonna get pelted.”

  Posey stopped walking, but didn’t look at me. She ducked her head, but couldn’t hide behind her hair, because it was still knotted at the back of her head. “I don’t care.”

  I gripped my steering wheel with white knuckles to keep from staring at her. Seriously, I didn’t get why she always let her hair hang over her face. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She looked like a sculpture carved out of marble, or something. Gorgeous.

  Shifting my eyes to the road ahead of us. “Another car’s coming. Get in.”

  Her blue eyes flashed. “No.”

  “Posey, it’s October in Washington.” I raised my eyebrows. “Rain. Clouds. Cold. More rain. Any of this ringing a bell? Let me take you home.”

  She sucked on her lower lip, and glanced at the car slowly approaching. “I walk every day, Drew.”

  Following her gaze, I drummed my fingers on the steering wheel. “Seriously, if that’s someone from the school, I’m busted. You’d better get in.”

  Growling, Posey let her backpack slide down to her hand, then dragged it around my car. Once she’d jerked the door open and dropped into the passenger’s seat, she glared at me through the corner of her eye. “Drive already.”

  Laughing at my victory, I pulled back onto the road, spitting gravel. We sped through the center of Twisted Tree, passing the turn off for the Coulters’ house in a blur.

  Posey looked up. “You missed my turn.”

  “Hey, if we’re gonna skip school, we may as well make it count.” I looked at her and grinned, pleased when her cheeks pinked. “Come on, you don’t really want to go home, do you?”

  Posey shook her head and rubbed her eyes. “No. Not really.”

  “Then let’s go hang out.” I sped up as the rain started to come down against the windshield. “I’ve got a place I want to show you.”

  She crossed her legs, and I found myself looking at the slivers of ivory skin showing through the holes in her jeans. “Won’t you get in trouble, Golden Boy?”

  “No more trouble than you will.” I laughe
d. “Besides, I’ll get us back to the library before Mr. Kingston checks on us. I doubt my teachers will even notice I’m gone for my last two periods. No worries. Mac will cover for me.”

  “Must be nice.”

  “What?”

  She went to pull her hair from its ponytail. “Having a friend to bail you out.”

  I swallowed. I liked being able to see Posey’s face. “He and I have been friends since we were kids. He’d do anything for me. Don’t you have friends like that?”

  “Not exactly.” She shook her head, and her hair obscured part of her face once again. “When you move from home to home, you tend to not get too deeply connected to people. You just take your stuff from place to place and reinvent yourself every time. New home, new rules, new people. There’s no time to connect with someone to the point where they’d do anything for you.”

  “That sounds…” Glancing at her, I sighed. “Terrible.”

  For a second, I thought she might cry. From the side, her eyes looked damp, and the pink on her cheeks increased. But as quickly as the emotion came, it disappeared. Shrugging, Posey hid behind her hair. “It’s not so bad. You get used to it. And used to trouble.”

  I flipped on my blinker and turned off the main road. “So you were a trouble maker before you came to Twisted Tree?”

  “I don’t know.” Posey glanced at me and offered a small smile. “I wasn’t in that much trouble, comparatively speaking. I guess a little. Some of my foster sisters and brothers were into drugs, but I never did much of that. Tried it. Didn’t like it.”

  I nodded at the road. A lot of kids at TTHS took Washington State’s legalized marijuana laws too far and lit up all the damn time. Every indoor party I’d been to over the past three years turned into one giant hotbox session, so I had to sit outside the whole time. The swim team had a no drugs/no alcohol policy on the swim team, and while Coach could be bit lax on the rules, my dad bought piss tests from the drug store to surprise me with at home.

  “So you weren’t into partying.” We turned down the cramped main street of Langley, a town a few miles north of Twisted Tree. I came here on occasion to escape. “What were you into back in Seattle? Who did you hang with?” Glancing at Posey, I gulped. “Did you… did you have a boyfriend, or whatever?”

  She glanced at me through the corner of her eye. “Not anyone steady, if that’s what you’re asking,” she said quietly. “I mean, I hung with a couple of guys. But never anything serious. My mom had me when she was sixteen, so I’ve always been paranoid of following in her footsteps.”

  We followed the line of traffic as it eked down Main Street. “So you’ve never…”

  Posey’s eyes went wide. “Did you just ask me that?”

  Dude, shut up! What was wrong with me?

  I’ll tell you what. I was curious, dammit. When I tried to go to sleep, all I’d been able to do was picture what Posey looked like under her giant sweater and torn jeans. Now I stared at the slits of skin showing through the holes in her jeans, and I was about to blow a gasket.

  I wanted to know if anybody had ever seen her. Touched her. Brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her jawline. Oh holy hell, I was such a wuss.

  Clearing my throat, I added, “Sorry. That was personal. You don’t have to answer.”

  “It’s fine.” She waved a hand and looked forward. “You know more about me than most do. Yes. I have. I had two boyfriends in Seattle.” When I gaped at her, she groaned. “Not at the same time, freak. Honestly, I don’t even know where they are now. That feels like a lifetime ago.”

  I forced a laugh, trying not to sound jealous, but it came out louder than necessary. I sounded like an idiot. “Tell me about it.”

  When Posey’s eyes came back to me, she smiled impishly. “You mean to tell me you and Maddie never…”

  I grimaced. “Yeah. We did.”

  “Maybe that’s why she’s having such a hard time letting go?”

  Scoffing, I pulled in front of a tiny store sandwiched between an ice cream shop and a women’s boutique. “Maddie’s been around the block a few more times than I have. I doubt she’s hanging on for sentimental reasons.”

  “So what’s her deal? Why does she want you so bad?”

  I flashed her a grin. “What, it isn’t obvious?”

  Posey socked me in the arm. “Don’t get cocky now.”

  “Ow. Watch it.” I turned off the car and rubbed my arm. My skin prickled where she’d hit me, but I doubted it was injury-related. “I don’t know why Maddie is so obsessive. It’s probably because…” My words petered out and I pressed my lips together. It felt weird to say it to someone in Posey’s situation.

  “Because you’re the most popular guy in school?” she finished for me.

  Raking a hand through my hair, I yanked the keys out of the ignition. “I feel like a loser saying that. But yeah, that’s probably what it is.”

  “I figured.” Her shoulders rose and dropped. “It probably kills her to see you hanging out with me.”

  “I don’t know.” I reached over and touched Posey’s hand. It was cool but soft. I liked it. “I don’t think you’re so bad. Maybe she just needs to get to know you.”

  She looked at my hand over hers and cleared her throat. Though I couldn’t be sure, I thought her hand trembled beneath mine. “Maybe I should’ve pounded her and been done with it?”

  “I wouldn’t have blamed you.” I snickered, and unbuckled my seatbelt. “But I wouldn’t have let you.”

  Posey’s mouth turned down at the corners. “Still carrying a torch?”

  “Not hardly. I just didn’t want you to get into trouble.”

  She grunted, tucking her hair behind her ears. “Didn’t you know? Trash like me don’t care about getting in trouble.”

  “Knock it off.”

  “No, I’m serious. People practically expect it from me.” She looked out the window, and I glanced at her.

  I imagined tracing the line from her jaw all the way up to her earlobe with my finger, and my gut stirred. “I don’t.”

  Seriously. Posey was kind of hot.

  “Well, you’re about the only one.” Posey’s eyes met mine again. “What are you looking at?”

  “Nothing.” I snapped my head back in the direction of the shop, yanking my hand away from hers. “Come on, I wanna show you Bob’s.”

  She opened her door and climbed out. “What is it?”

  “It’s a music store. They have every kind of music ever recorded.” I led the way in and held the door for Posey. The inside of Bob’s was dark and filled with rack after rack of CDs. The air was thick with the aroma of patchouli, and everywhere you looked was a worn out couch or loveseat to sit on. “They sell sheet music for dirt cheap. Any song you can think of. You can listen to music all day long, and they never kick you out.”

  Her eyes lit up and she covered her mouth. “I… I haven’t been able to find a place like this since moving here.”

  Pride filled my chest. “I found it one day last summer, and I’ve been coming in once a week since. Nobody ever thinks to find me here.” Reaching out, I touched Posey’s sleeve. “When you told me how into music you are, I knew I had to bring you here.”

  For just a second, she leaned into my touch, before straightening back up and grinning at me. My stomach clench and unclenched a few times when she did. “Thank you,” she squeaked. “This place is awesome. You’re awesome.”

  We spent the next few hours wandering through the aisles of Bob’s, listening to music, talking, singing along with familiar tunes, and lounging on the couches.

  I told Posey about the time I sliced through my thumb at scout camp, and the day I caught my father kissing his secretary in his office. She told me about the time she found a hundred dollar bill sticking out of a tampon machine at a Tacoma gas station, and the time she ran away from one of her foster homes and slept under a bridge for four days. I admitted to a fear of spiders and failure. She admitted she’d once helped a friend ste
al a vacuum cleaner from Target, and that she Facebook stalked the mom who had abandoned her.

  By the time the sun sat low in the afternoon sky, I felt like I knew more about Posey than she’d ever let anybody in on before. And I’d sure as hell told her more about myself than I’d shared before.

  I also learned that Posey was a fighter. She’d scrapped her way through life from day one, and she had no ability to stop fighting, even when she didn’t need to. She gave up on people before they could let her down, but wanted to be loved more than anyone I’d ever met. She acted like she had no ability to care about other people, but still loved her mother and brothers desperately.

  I also realized I liked her. I mean, really liked her. I knew how crazy it was, and I knew that if I admitted it to Mac or any of my other friends, I would get razzed so much I would want to move to Guam. But I was starting to not care…

  “You know what I think?” Posey asked, fingering the stack of sheet music she’d picked out. She’d tied her hair back while flipping through the vintage album section, and left it there for the past hour.

  “What’s that?” I’d been staring at her while she listened to Queen’s debut album, swaying in place with her eyes closed. Her musical taste ranged from electric pop clear to classical symphonies and everything in between. Far cry from the heavy emo crap I’d pegged her for.

  “This has been the best afternoon ever.” She tugged a loose string on her jeans. “Just what I needed. Now I think you need to let me buy you some ice cream.”

  I smiled sleepily from my place on the couch. “You’re gonna buy it for me?”

  “Yeah.” Posey jerked her head towards the door. “I thought I saw an ice cream parlor next door.”

  “Uh huh. They make good rocky road,” I said. “But isn’t the guy supposed buy the ice cream for the girl?”

  Her cheeks reddened, and she looked down. “Only on a date.”

  We sat there, the air between us clicking and popping like a live wire. I didn’t know what to say. Did Posey want this to be a date? Or just two friends skipping school to hang out? Man, why did she make me feel like a terrified fourteen-year-old? What was wrong with me?