The Art of Being Indifferent (The Twisted Family Tree Series)

by Brooke Moss

  Mom’s face split into a grin, and she giggled. “That’s your new stepdad. Norm.”

  “Norm?” I almost laughed, but too many other emotions pushed themselves to the surface.

  I could still see the disconnected look on my mom’s face as the social worker drove my brothers and me away from her grungy apartment all those years ago. I could still smell the stale scent of the visitation center where I’d sat and waited for her to show up to visit, only to find myself alone at the end of the day. And I could still hear my aunt’s voice telling me, I’m gonna keep Rory and Julian, but not you. You’re too much like your mama, and I ain’t got it in me to deal with another Celeste. You understand, don’t you, kiddo?

  Drew squeezed my hand. “Well, we have to go now. It was, uh, nice to meet you.”

  “You gave up…” I said lamely, dropping his hand. When my mom looked at me with a confused expression, I tried to explain. “You… you never came to the visits. You signed the papers and gave up your rights. You…” My voice broke, and I pressed a hand to my chest. My heart was racing. “You gave up on me.”

  My mom’s face fell, and she stepped closer to me. She smelled like she’d not showered in a few days, and like she and good ol’ Norm had been hot-boxing in the car before I came out.

  “Baby, they forced me to…” She ran a shaky hand across her hair, making it stand on end. “The social workers stopped all m-my food stamps and everything. I couldn’t even get a bus pass, ‘cause they wanted me to sign so bad. And I was in a bad place back then, you know? I was really loaded in those days, and they were threatening to throw me into a jail if I didn’t comply. It wasn’t my fault. I had no choice! I had to sign!”

  “Right.” Drew took my hand again. “We have to go now. C’mon, Posey.”

  “No.” I pulled my hand away. “I can’t… I don’t want to.”

  “Atta girl, Po. Come on.” My mom came closer and slid her bony hand into mine. Memories rushed back to me in a flood. Mom holding my hand while we walked home from the store. Mom holding my hand as I jumped over a puddle. There weren’t that many good memories, but there were a few. Enough to ignite the pilot light in the back corner of my heart that I’d closed off seven years ago when she forgot about me. “Let’s go for a ride. Catch up. I’ll buy you a milkshake. Is there anywhere to get a good milkshake on this rock?”

  Drew nodded, his mouth pulled in a line. “Yeah. The Diner’s good.”

  “That’s where we’ll go! A diner. How cute.” Mom slid her arm through mine. “Go on, Dave. I’m gonna go hang with my girl for a while.”

  “It’s Drew.” He took my other arm. “Posey, I think you should call Paula and John first. Come on, we can use the phone in Coach’s office.”

  I looked at him, dazed. I still couldn’t believe my mom was standing there, touching me. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. “Maybe…”

  “Wait. Who’s that? Who does she have to call?” Mom’s eyes were wide as she looked between Drew and me. “Who are Paula and John?”

  “They’re… um, my…” My words fizzled out, and I had to swallow a few times to get them back. “They’re my foster parents.”

  “Oh, them?” She waved a hand. “You’ll see them later. Just come on.”

  “They’re not just your foster parents.” Drew scratched the back of his neck and cast a worried glance back at the school. He was acting so nervous. Did my mom freak him out that much? “They’re going to be your parents soon.” He looked at my mom with a frown. “They’re adopting Posey.”

  My mom’s face tightened. “They’re not her parents. I am. I’m her mom” She bumped her sharp hip against mine. “Aren’t I, baby?”

  My chest tightened, and I nodded. She was still my mom. At least I thought she was. It didn’t matter that technically she’d signed over her rights to me, and I’d been dangling in the system labeled an orphan—technically speaking—for years. What mattered was that she was the woman who’d given birth to me, and she was back.

  “I guess,” I said, my voice so quiet the sound of Norm’s thumping base almost drowned it out.

  “Posey…” Drew leaned over so I was forced to look him in the eyes. Those pools of green pleaded with me. “Paula and John are gonna be worried sick. You don’t even know these people. Don’t go anywhere with them.”

  Mom shoved Drew’s shoulder. “She does too know me!”

  He stood upright. “How many years has it been?”

  I put my hand up between them. “Hey, wait. Drew, I think I should go.”

  “You see?” Mom pulled me towards her busted up car. “Your boyfriend is totally overprotective, huh?” She looked over her shoulder at Drew, who paced back where we’d left him. “He’s hot, though. Good job, baby.”

  I suppressed a shudder. I didn’t want to discuss this with her. I didn’t really know what I wanted to talk to her about. It felt like I just met her… again. Geez, I was so friggin’ confused. I wanted to curl up on my mom’s lap and let her play with my hair. But at the same time, I wanted to knock her down and pull her hair out for leaving me to rot for seven years.

  She pulled open the car door, and a cloud of smoke and the stench of weed poured out. “Hop in. Tell your boyfriend we’ll have you back in a few hours. Norm, this is my baby, Posey. Say hi.”

  Norm looked at me through bloodshot eyes. “’Sup?”

  There was a crunch of gravel as Drew charged towards us. “Stop. Wait.” He took my by the shoulders and turned me so I faced him. “I know this is major. I get it. But I don’t think taking off with them is a good idea.”

  “Oh, come on,” Mom growled. “Just chill out. We’ll be right back. We’ll drop her off at her place.”

  “Drew, stop,” I said, trying to squirm out of his grasp. “You heard her. They’ll drop me off.”

  His hands came up to my face. “You’re confused. I get that—”

  “Jesus, can this melodrama stop?” Norm yelled from inside the car. “Celeste, can we go, for hell’s sake? We’ve gotta meet Pete in an hour.”

  “Who’s Pete?” I asked my mom. “Where are we going?”

  Mom gnawed on her fingernail. “We’re gonna meet a friend. Come on, baby, get in.”

  I brushed Drew’s hands away. “I… I’m sorry, Drew. I’ve gotta go…”

  “What?” he said, his mouth dropping.

  I climbed into the messy car. There were blankets and old clothes all over the back seat. Empty fast food wrappers and cigarette packs covered the floor, and the rear window was covered in plastic. My stomach roiled nervously.

  I want to go home.

  Drew watched me from outside the car, the muscles in his jaw twitching madly. My heart hammered against my rib cage so hard I was sure my bones would fracture under the pressure. I wanted to climb out. I wanted to stay in. Sweat pricked my hairline and underneath my arms.

  Mom started to sit down, but Drew touched her shoulder. “Excuse me,” he muttered, pushing past her and sitting down in the backseat with me.

  “Well, all right then.” Mom cackled and flopped down in her seat. Norm threw the car into gear and peeled out of the lot, spitting pieces of rock behind us. We all rocked as he skidded onto the highway. Norm yowled proudly when we fishtailed.

  Drew’s eyes widened when he buckled his seatbelt and took my hand. “What did you get us into, Po?”

  Chapter Twenty-seven

  Him.

  My knee bounced as we flew down highway twenty towards the Mukilteo ferry. For five hours we’d driven from one end of Whidbey Island to the other, while Celeste and Norm made frantic calls on their phones in search of the “big score” they’d been promised. Apparently Norm had a friend of a friend who had a package for them to take back to the city.

  Now that they’d gotten it—from a toothless guy living in the tiniest trailer I’d ever seen—we were apparently in a hurry to catch the next boat off the island to Seattle. And every time I tried to warn Posey what the hell that package actually he
ld—because one look at Celeste and Norm’s twitching hands and faces, and it was clear meth was in that box—she would shush me and turn look out the window. Like she’d regressed back to a scared little kid since leaving the school.

  All of the sudden, the girl I’d fallen in love with over the past couple of months disappeared. Gone was the girl who convinced me I was strong enough to move out of my parents’ house, the girl who gave me the courage to force my dad to stop treating me like a punching bag. Now she just sat in the car, silent—bordering on catatonic, while her doped out mom drove us to hell and back. Twice.

  Every time we stopped, I leaned over in the seat, begging her to get out with me. I tried to convince her that we could call Mac to come pick us up, and I would take the blame for keeping her so late so she wouldn’t get into trouble with Paula and John. But she refused. When dinner-time came and went, I asked Norm to drop us off, but he just offered me a cigarette and told me to relax. I even offered to walk home from their friends’ trailer, but when Posey refused to come with me, I reluctantly climbed back in the car.

  “I need a slushy. I saw a gas station over there. Do you need a slushy?” Celeste rubbed her hand underneath her nose as Norm parked the car in line for the ferry. We had a ten minute wait until we’d get waved onto the last vessel bound for Seattle that evening. “Boo, do you want a slushy? Maybe one of those blue and red ones? Or the pink one that’s sour? Those are good. You want one of those?”

  “I don’t need a damn slushy, Celeste.” Norm yanked the package off her lap and started fingering the duct tape holding it closed. “Just wanna get on this damn boat. We got people waiting for this shit.”

  She turned around in her seat, sitting on her knees and holding the torn headrest. “How about you guys? Want a slushy? My treat.”

  Posey’s mom bounced around the front seat like a Chihuahua. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head. “No, thank you.”

  She pouted, oblivious to how pissed I was getting, then faced Posey. “How ‘bout you, baby? Or maybe a Dixie cup? Remember those things? With the wooden spoon? You love those!”

  Posey looked at her mom wearily. “I’m almost eighteen, Mom.”

  “I know,” Celeste snapped, waving her hand and flopping down in her seat. She tugged her frizzed hair out of its band, then wound it back on her head two more times before fastening it again. Her movements were jerky and unexpected, and she shook the whole car every time she shifted. “Well, I’m gonna go by myself. I want a slushy. The baby wants a slushy. And a Dixie cup. And a pop. A big one. With lots of ice. Do you want one, Boo?”

  Flaring my nostrils I looked out the window. If I heard her call that dude “boo” one more time, I was going to lose my crap. And the baby inside that lady’s belly didn’t want a damn Dixie cup or slushy. I wasn’t even sure how it was still alive, to be honest. All I’d seen Celeste consume since our ride from hell started was cigarettes and Mountain Dew.

  I craned my neck to look at the clock on the dash. It was eight o’clock at night, and Mac and his mom were probably starting to worry. I had to check in by six every night, and I hadn’t seen Mac since seventh period. I winced and ran my hands through my hair. I didn’t want to break the rules already. If Karen kicked me out, I was screwed.

  And the Coulters? Man, they were probably beside themselves. Celeste had lost her parental rights to Posey, so this was kidnapping, for hell’s sake. My shoulders suddenly felt like lead, weighing me down, and pressing me into the stained backseat.

  Celeste threw the car door open and bounced out. “You coming, Po? Come on. Walk with me. We’ll have girl talk.”

  Posey looked up from her hands. “Mom, where are we going?”

  “We’re going to the gas station, dumbo.” She bounced between her feet a few times, and rubbed under her nose again. “Come on. We’ve only got a few minutes until we board.”

  “No.” Posey shook her head. “On the ferry? Where in Seattle are we going?”

  Celeste knelt down by the open door. Her bony knees looked like the weight of the baby would snap them in two any minute now. “Norm’s got a place in Ballard. That’s where he, well, I, live now. We got a room for you, too. And Aunt Lisa is bringing Rory and Julian over tomorrow. You want to see them, too, right? It’ll be like a reunion!”

  I looked at Posey. She wasn’t really buying this crap, was she? Anger started clenching my stomach, and I gripped the seat edge to hold my temper. This was out of control. Why the hell didn’t she call an end to this garbage? Why the hell were we still sitting in this disgusting tic-tac with wheels, instead of home, far away from this crap?

  But Posey’s eyes filled, and for the first time since meeting her, the tears spilled over. My heart lurched to a halt in my chest. “Rory and Julian?” she whispered. “They… they’re coming over?”

  During some of our lengthy conversations on our beach under the stars, she’d told me all about her little brothers. She’d practically raised them. Changing their diapers and giving them bottles, even when she was barely old enough to get herself out of bed and dressed alone. She told me how much she missed them, and how being around the Coulters and all their kids reminded her of what it was like to live with the boys so long ago.

  “That’s right!” Celeste said, her eyes bugging out. “Aw, I’ll betcha miss them, huh? Aunt Lisa says you never stayed in touch with them.”

  Posey sobbed. “I… I tried. They wouldn’t let me. She was supposed to set up visits with my foster mom, but she never called after the adoption.”

  I put my arm around her. “Shh. It’s okay.” I glared at Celeste. “Can you give us a minute, please?”

  She put her hands out. “Whoa. Take it down a notch.”

  “I gotta piss.” Norm jerked the keys out of the ignition and climbed out of his own side, taking the box with him. He tucked it under his tattooed arm, and glowered down at me in the backseat. “Don’t hotwire my car.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “This car? No problem.”

  “Smart mouth.” Celeste cackled and stood back upright. “I like him, Po.”

  The walked off together, and we sat in the backseat in silence for a moment. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I was pissed off at Celeste for bringing up the two little boys, and pissed off at Posey for not going home with me two hours ago. I was pissed off at Celeste for showing up in the first place, and pissed off at Posey for turning into some sort of brainless lemming to follow her.

  I’d gotten into the car to protect Posey, and all I’d managed to do is go for a five-hour joy ride.

  Turning around, I saw Celeste and Norm round the line of cars, and released a long breath I’d been holding. “Come on. They’re gone.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and pushed the passenger’s seat forward. “Let’s go.”

  “What?” Posey wiped her tear stained face with the end of her sleeve. “What? No. I... I can’t go now.”

  “Are you kidding me?” I gaped at her. “Don’t tell me you don’t know what’s in that box. They’re transporting.”

  “Transporting?” She shook her head like she was confused.

  “What the hell? Didn’t you say you used to be around this stuff all the time?” I took her hands and squeezed them. “They’re taking speed back to Seattle. They’ll probably going to sell it. If we stick around here, we’re accessories.”

  “Speed?” She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. “My mom said she was clean. You were sitting right next to me.”

  “Does she look clean to you?” I asked, moving some of the junk on the backseat, so I could get closer to her. A filthy blanket fell open, and a gun clunked on the car floor. Sweat pricked the skin at my hairline. “We have to get the hell out of here. These people are dangerous.”

  “These people?” Posey snapped. “She’s my mom. She would never hurt me.”

  Groaning, I scruffed my hand across the back of my neck. “Hasn’t she already? Didn’t she abandon you for something like seven years, and let you rot in the system?”

 
She flinched like she’d been slapped. “That was below the belt.”

  My insides crunched in on themselves, and I reached for her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I just… I need you to understand what’s going on here.”

  “Which is what?” she yelled, her eyes filling again. Dammit. I didn’t know if I had it in me to see Po cry another time. “My mother might not be perfect, and she might have been gone a long time. But she came back. She came for me. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

  “No.” My heart was pounding. Why wasn’t she seeing what was explicitly clear to me? “Your mom is no better than my dad. She lost control of her life and lost her kids. By swooping back into your life, and taking you away from the only home you’ve ever actually liked, she gets that control back. That’s all this little visit is about. Don’t you see that?”

  Posey looked away, slumping against the window. “I don’t know what to do… I’m so confused…”

  I reached for her hand. “I know. Let’s just go home. Okay? Please?”

  “I can’t.” She jerked her hand away from mine. “Paula and John are going to lose their shit if I go home now. I haven’t called. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going. When they find out I’m with my mom, they’ll never forgive me.”

  “Of course they will.” I tried to touch her again, and she shrunk away from me some more. God, I felt so bad. “We’re in this together. We’ll face them together, we—”

  “There’s no we!” Posey exploded, sitting up straight and facing me. “What the hell does that mean? How can you possibly relate to this at all?”

  My jaw dropped. The last few weeks of my life had been a living, walking, breathing hell, and the only ray of light was Posey. Getting out from under my dad’s thumb was the hardest thing I’d done to date, and half the reason I’d had the balls to do it was because of her support. Had that counted for nothing?

  “I’m… I’m heading home, Po,” I said quietly, anger creeping up on me. “I wish you’d come with me.”