“I’m curious about you too. Liv clearly thinks you’re cool, but to be brutally honest, she’s not always the best judge of character.”
“I could get offended by that.”
“Don’t. I’m blunt. I find it’s better that way. I know she sent a load of stuff to your mom and she said you were in some kind of financial difficulty. I just—”
“My mom, not me,” Casey cut in, feeling a flush of shame. “And I didn’t ask for that stuff. I wanted her to take it back. She wouldn’t. She and my mom hit it off and she’d just had a load of stuff stolen—”
“It’s okay. She explained it to me already. I’m just being protective of her. She’s had tough times.”
“I know.”
Louise peered at her closely.
“Of course you do. It’s not exactly a secret.” She sounded disappointed. Casey felt like she’d said something wrong.
“She told me last night. I didn’t know anything about any of it until she told me.”
“Really?”
“I already told you, I’ve never watched the show and I don’t do celebrity gossip. I didn’t even know who any of you were until a week ago.” Casey turned to her. “No offense.”
“None taken. Look, I’m not saying you’ve done anything wrong. Just that any more gifts might look bad for you, that’s all. She’s got a big heart. She trusts too easily, and I make it my business to look after her and to figure out who she’s getting close to.”
Now Louise was sounding like a Soprano.
“I’m glad she has you. But you don’t need to worry about me and neither does Olivia. I’m one of those ridiculously proud people who grew up with nothing and ended up being pretty independent. I had no choice. And I’m not at all comfortable with people giving me stuff. So since we’re being blunt, let me say that I’m not only someone she can trust, but I’m probably a safer bet than anyone else she’s going to meet this trip.” Casey couldn’t help but feel annoyed, and she didn’t try to hide it. She hadn’t always behaved perfectly, but she shouldn’t have to prove her character to anyone.
“You like her.” It wasn’t a question. Louise looked at her intently, and Casey couldn’t stop the heat in her cheeks.
“I do. There’s a lot about her to like.”
“There certainly is.” Louise took Casey’s arm and steered them toward the hotel entrance. “Do you play poker?”
“Of course I do. But I’ve not played in a while, so I might be a little rusty.”
“Rusty is good. I like to win.” Louise smiled. “We have a game tonight. My room. Eight p.m.”
Casey felt her heart lift at the idea of spending some time with Olivia. Even if that meant suffering more scrutiny from Louise. Olivia had mentioned the game in passing, but she hadn’t invited her.
“Okay, sounds good. Can you do me a favor though?”
“Sure.”
“Can you check with Olivia that it’s okay for me to come?”
“Why would Olivia not want you to come?” Casey could hear the suspicion. Louise was living up to her promise of being protective.
“We just—” Casey stopped. “I don’t know. Just because I’m the driver I guess and boundaries and all that stuff that Billie was saying about the show.”
“Just that?”
Casey nodded.
Olivia obviously hadn’t told Louise what had happened between them, and she certainly wasn’t going to. Olivia could trust Casey not to say anything about their kiss, and she could trust her to stay away if that was what Olivia wanted.
“Just ask her and I won’t be offended to get a text later disinviting me. I am just the driver.”
“That’s getting old.” Louise headed for the elevators.
“Tell me about it.”
Louise looked at her watch. “See you back here in an hour then. You’ve got plenty of time to go and buy the large bag of pretzels that will buy you access to tonight’s game.” Louise stepped into the elevator as Casey hung back.
“I thought I was driving Billie and Olivia to their rehearsal.”
“Nope. You’re taking me and Liam to the studio.”
Another change that Casey hadn’t been made aware of, another change that she assumed Olivia was responsible for. Her heart sank a little.
“Oh, okay. I hadn’t realized there’d been a change. No worries.” Casey put on a brave face, not wanting Louise to know she cared one way or the other. “I’m going upstairs for some food. I missed breakfast and now I’m starving.” The hangover had been fairly mild; it had been her anxiety about seeing Olivia that kept her away from breakfast.
“Have some squeak and bubble for me.”
“It’s bubble and—”
“I know.” Louise winked at her as the doors closed.
Chapter Sixteen
He’s a great kisser.”
“Oh no, Lou. Don’t tell me that. I don’t want to know. And it’s not fair to him for us to be talking like this.”
“Well, I can’t exactly say it to him, can I?” Louise replied as she laid out a large white tablecloth on the floor in the middle of the space she had cleared in her room.
“Maybe you should. Maybe the two of you should sit down and talk about exactly that. You can’t be getting turned on when you’re filming, it’s against the code, you know that?”
“I’m not saying I was turned on…okay, maybe I was a tiny bit, but it wasn’t like that. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it would be like to kiss him and today—” She waved a hand as if to say she had finally found out.
“I can’t believe I’m having to say this to you, because you’re the one who’s always telling me that it’s easy because it’s make-believe, but it was Michael kissing Jessie, not Liam kissing you.”
“I know. I’m not stupid.” She placed a linen napkin on each corner of the towel before opening a bag of pretzels out onto the napkin closest to her. “It’s just hard to keep the feelings in check. I mean, I’ve seen his body before—you’ve seen him, he’s always running around in shorts—but I’ve never tasted his lips, never felt his hand in my hair. It was hard to stay focused on what we were supposed to be doing.”
“Damn, Lou. You have to try to not think that way when you’re filming.”
“I know. It’s torture. And I know it’d be really bad for our friendship if he found out I was thinking any of this, but I can’t help the feelings.”
“Feelings?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. I am capable of them, you know?”
“I didn’t mean that. I thought maybe it was just lust, or a holiday romance, or something.”
“You mean like you and Casey?” Louise stopped counting her pretzels. “When were you going to tell me about that, by the way?”
Olivia should have expected Liam to tell Louise. They were close—that was partly what had got the two of them into this mess. They liked each other. They spent a lot of time together.
“I was going to tell you myself. I just haven’t had the chance.”
“You’ve been here half an hour. I deliberately asked you to come earlier than Liam and Casey so you’d have time to tell me how you ended up making out with Casey in the corridor outside your room, with her refusing to let you drag her inside.”
“I thought it was so you could swoon about Liam’s kissing technique.”
“That too.” Louise smiled. She got up from the floor, sat on the edge of her bed, and sighed. “What the hell is going on? We’re both falling for completely unsuitable people. Maybe London is the real city of lovers and Paris needs to hand over its plaque.”
“I’m not falling—” Olivia couldn’t even complete the denial. She was falling for Casey. She just wasn’t ready to tell Louise that. “I think Casey’s suitable.” It was true. “And if I’d met her in LA, I’d probably be letting my
self hope all sorts of things, but in a few days, we’re going to be saying good-bye to each other so…” Olivia lifted her shoulders in a shrug.
“So what? She doesn’t live on the moon. She’s in the same country, the same side of the country even. You shouldn’t give in so easily.”
“It’s not just geography. She was pretty clear last night she wasn’t interested. It wasn’t just that she turned me down when I was practically horizontal. I told her all about Kristin and she seemed bothered by it. I get the feeling she doesn’t do that kind of drama. And she’s not exactly interested in what we do.” Perversely, it was one of the things Olivia liked about Casey. “It’s going nowhere. I know that. I just hate the idea I might have made things awkward.”
It was more than that. She was feeling things she hadn’t felt before, and she was hurt that Casey didn’t seem to feel the same way. The embarrassment about the drunken come-on was just an added extra.
“Well, I get the feeling she might like you. But maybe she needs a little encouragement. You are Olivia Lang after all. Best Ass in Hollywood. You can be intimidating to us mere mortals.”
“Ha-ha, Lou.”
“I’m serious. I think she likes you. And you obviously like her. And you’ve already kissed. I mean, I don’t know what’s stopping you.”
Olivia didn’t know how Casey really felt about her. They’d said things last night, but they’d both been drunk. And it was only as she lay back on her bed, after Casey had left, that she remembered that Casey had said she was cool and smart and sexy.
“I don’t want to make a fool of myself. She’s obviously been avoiding me.”
“That’s funny. She thinks you changed the schedule to avoid her.” Louise smiled. “But she jumped at the chance to come tonight. Doesn’t exactly suggest avoidance.”
Olivia frowned.
“Well, maybe I’m just not sure yet. You’re always telling me not to be so trusting.”
She wanted to trust Casey. She had the best feeling when they were together. She loved kids, she was helping her mom, and she hadn’t even taken advantage of a drunken Olivia throwing herself at her. But despite all that, they were practically strangers. And Kristin had left Olivia feeling like her instincts were unreliable. She sighed deeply. Her thoughts had been spooling like this all day.
“Anyway, Liam’s not unsuitable. He’s a catch.” Olivia wanted to change the subject.
“He’s one of my best friends and he doesn’t like me that way. I think that makes him pretty unsuitable.”
“Maybe he does.” Olivia said it without thinking and instantly wanted to take the words back. It was frustrating watching them torment each other, but that didn’t mean she had a right to wade in. “I just mean, you don’t know that he isn’t interested, because you guys have never talked about it. Maybe you should.”
Louise was looking at her suspiciously.
“Do you know something?”
“No.” She found it impossible to lie to Louise. “Maybe.” She put her head in her hands and groaned. Liam was her friend, but she’d known Louise for much longer.
“Did he say something to you? Don’t hold out on me, Liv. I’m suffering here. I haven’t told you because I felt so fucking stupid, but I’ve been feeling like this about him for months.”
“I can’t say. It’s private.” Olivia relented. “But just give it a try with him. Make a play. See what happens. You know what they say: fortune favors the brave.”
“He likes me.” Louise stood up and whirled around, a huge smile on her face.
“I didn’t say that.” Olivia offered a half-hearted denial.
“You didn’t have to. Why didn’t he say anything?”
“If he liked you—and I’m not saying he does—then he’s probably as worried about ruining the friendship as you are. And maybe he thinks you don’t like guys, or wouldn’t date a trans guy. It happens.” Olivia was saying more than she should. No amount of “maybe” or “probably” was going to stop him from being mad at her if things didn’t work out. “But please don’t tell him I said anything.”
“I won’t.” Louise pulled her into a hug before heading off in the direction of the closet. “Now I have five minutes to find something to wear that’s going to make him notice that I’m the one he’s been waiting for all his life.”
Olivia couldn’t help but laugh, but Louise’s confidence, her willingness to take a chance, was something that Olivia had always admired. Next to her, she always felt timid.
“And you should be doing the same,” Louise said from inside the closet.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Olivia had dressed to impress Casey. The idea that she might not have succeeded sent her confidence nosediving.
“I don’t mean the outfit, stupid. It’s gorgeous. I mean, you should give it a try with Casey. The fact that Billie doesn’t like her is probably all the recommendation you need.” Louise emerged from the closet. She stripped off the checked shirt she was wearing and replaced it with another. Something tighter and much more low-cut. Olivia gave her the thumbs-up. Liam didn’t stand a chance.
“Thinking about it, Billie was being super weird again today. She got in Casey’s face about the two of you hanging out, saying you’re disgracing the show by being seen drunk and being seen with someone who wasn’t—I’m paraphrasing—your celebrity equal.”
“I wasn’t drunk.”
“That’s what Casey said.” Louise sat at the dressing table and started to apply a little more makeup. She turned to Olivia. “Billie seemed pissed at her, obviously jealous as hell. Seems like everyone but you is aware of the fact that you and Casey have something going on.”
“I don’t know, Lou. I have a feeling she’s worth more than I can give her. She’s a real person, with friends and a real life. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore. She doesn’t need me butting in and turning things upside down. She already told me how private she is. Even if she did like me and even if we had more time, I don’t think she’ll want to be sucked into the madness of this life we lead.” Olivia took a breath finally. “It’s different for you and Liam, you’re already both in the middle of it.”
The hopelessness of the situation had dawned on her early that morning, when she’d woken up with a raging thirst and a thumping headache. She was beyond grateful that Casey had stopped them from acting on their desire when they were drunk. It would have felt cheap. And she wasn’t the kind of person who needed that kind of playmate. When she fell for someone, it was a heart and soul thing. But she couldn’t lay that at Casey’s feet so soon and expect her not to run a mile.
She trailed her fingers across the bottles of beer lined up on the cart that Louise had ordered up from room service. Poker night was always more fun with alcohol—and seeing Casey would be easier with a little liquid courage—but she grabbed a soda, not able to face the beer after last night.
Louise turned on her chair to face her.
“You look great. He won’t stand a chance.” Olivia smiled.
“And you, my sweet, look gorgeous. Let’s slay.” She offered out a fist and Olivia bumped it. Not sure she was the slaying type, but happy that Louise thought she was.
* * *
At the sound of a knock on the door, Louise got up to answer it. Olivia felt herself tense, knowing this time it had to be Casey. Liam was already sitting beside her on the floor, his pretzels laid out in neat rows of ten on the napkin in front of him. His mood seemed off and he was already at the bottom of a bottle of beer.
Louise swung open the door to let Casey into the room.
From Olivia’s position on the floor, Casey looked about seven feet tall. She looked up at her and was met with an earnest gaze. And the small smile that came with it made Olivia heat up inside. Her reaction wasn’t visible, but it didn’t help her hold on to that sense of cool she had promised herself she was
aiming for tonight.
Casey was wearing a faded gray T-shirt. The jeans were the same dark blue denim she’d worn yesterday, and they stretched as tight across her thighs as Olivia remembered.
Olivia’s throat went dry. Jeez. She closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down. When she opened them, Casey was still looking at her.
“Where should I sit?” Casey asked.
Olivia indicated the space next to her. “The room doesn’t have enough chairs, so Louise decided to improvise the poker table.”
“I guess it works.” Casey offered a small wave to Liam and settled herself down—her crossed legs mirroring Olivia’s.
“How many do I need?” She held up one of the bags of pretzels she had brought with her.
“Count out a hundred. We’ll eat the rest,” Louise replied, pushing the cart toward Casey. “And grab yourself a drink.” She grabbed a cushion from the couch and joined them on the floor.
Casey leaned across and took a soda from the cart. She was obviously planning to stay sober enough to fight Olivia off tonight should the need arise. Olivia felt a sliver of shame at the idea it might be true. She had to let it go. All she’d done was come on to someone she found attractive after she’d had a few drinks. It wasn’t a felony. Especially since that someone had kissed her back with just as much passion. She was single and so was Casey. The only complication was them working together, knowing each other for little more than a week, and living wildly different lives. She squeezed her eyes shut before rubbing them vigorously. She was not going to get upset about it. Not tonight. Not with Casey sitting two feet away.
“You okay?” Liam asked quietly, putting a hand on her knee.
“Just about. You?”
“Peachy.” The set of his jaw suggested that maybe that wasn’t true.
Louise dealt the cards and everyone threw in their pretzels.
“Texas Hold’em rules. No limits.” Louise offered the explanation to Casey. “If you run out of pretzels, you’ll have to start stripping.” She turned to Liam. “You too, sweet cheeks.”
Liam blushed before taking a long pull on his beer. Louise smiled at him with what Olivia could now see was more than just her usual fondness. How on earth had she missed the two of them falling for each other?
Never Be the Same Page 21
