Clarity of Lines

by N. R. Walker

  I took his hand, and played with his fingers. “These last few months, people have judged us, told us that us being together is wrong, just because I’m twice your age, or if they think it’s just some fling,” I told him. “I wanted to tell people that the lines aren’t blurred for me. I know exactly what I want. And having my father taken away so suddenly was like a wakeup call for me.”

  “Your speech was lovely,” he said simply, threading his fingers through mine. Then after a quiet moment, he asked, “What were you going to say? What was written on the piece of paper?”

  “It was just some childhood memories of my father,” I told him. “It was nice to relive those memories, but no one really wants to hear those kinds of stories at funerals. They mean a lot to me, but not to anyone else.”

  “Tell me,” Cooper said softly. “Tell me your childhood memories, like what was your favourite memory of your dad when you were little.”

  I leaned in and kissed him lightly. “You’re amazing, you know that?”

  “Yes, I do,” he said with a smile. “It’s a Cooper Jones thing, remember?”

  “How could I forget…” I said, and for the next little while, until I couldn’t fight sleep any longer, I relived childhood memories of a boy and his father.

  * * * *

  Two weeks later, it was a Saturday and I was drawing at the draughting board in the living room. Cooper said he had some errands to run in the morning, but had arrived not long after lunch and threw himself onto the sofa.

  He was agitated, which was very un-Cooper-like. “You know, you haven’t asked me to live with you for a while.”

  I smiled at the board. “I got sick of hearing no.”

  He tapped his fingers on the arm of the chair. “I kept saying no because you kept asking me wrong. Did you want to try it again?”

  “Is your lease finishing?” I asked with a smile, putting my graphite pencil down. “Is that why you want to move in with me? Is this some Gen Y, the-world-revolves-around-me thing?”

  He sighed dramatically. “Oh, Tom. You’re getting the move-in-with-me speech wrong again.”

  I laughed at him, but realising he was finally asking me to do this, I quickly walked over and knelt between his legs. I looked up at him. “Move in with me, Cooper. I want to go to sleep with you, I want to wake up next to you. Every day. I want to live with you, I want to know everything about you. I want you to show me how you see the world.” Then I added, “I want to show you things like the different architecture all around the world, all the amazing places. I want to share that with you. You are perfect for me, Cooper.” I sat back on my haunches and shrugged. “You’ve changed me, and I don’t want to live without you.”

  He smiled slowly.

  “Did I get it right that time?”

  He nodded. “And just so you know, I have a month left on the lease on my apartment, but I’ve given notice. I’m completely packed and ready to move in.”

  Grinning, I leaned up and pecked his lips. “A little confident that I’d still want you to live with me, yes?”

  He closed his eyes and smiled. “It’s a Gen Y thing.”

  “It’s a Cooper Jones thing.”

  “No, it’s an I-love-you thing.”

  “It’s an I-love-you-too thing.”

  “So are we doing the whole-live-in-boyfriend thing?”

  “Yes.”

  He grinned. “Lionel will be so stoked.”

  “Are you moving in here because you have a crush on the doorman?”

  “No, no,” he said, like I’d missed the point. “He has a crush on me.”

  “You’re incorrigible.”

  Cooper leant forward and kissed me with smiling lips. “You really shouldn’t talk about your live-in-boyfriend like that.”

  I sighed. “There really is no point in arguing, is there?”

  He shook his head. “No. But Tom?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Don’t ever stop arguing with me.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Also available from Totally Bound Publishing:

  Turning Point: Point of No Return

  N.R. Walker

  Excerpt

  Chapter One

  The four of us hit the gym like we always did after a stressful day and were met by a round of applause from the other cops who were there working out. The gym itself was a main floor space with various fitness equipment, a service desk and some rooms off the far wall for different classes. It smelt like sweat and dirty socks. I loved it.

  On the wall facing the treadmills was a row of TV screens, usually showing repeats of different sports. But not tonight. The TV screens were tuned to the five o’clock news, and all the guys there were watching the four of us standing outside the West Street headquarters.

  A reporter introduced the story. “Breaking another link in one of LA’s biggest drug chains, Croatian expat Pavao Tomic was taken down in what can only be described as a successful drug heist by police.”

  I waved them off, heading straight for the treadmills. I didn’t need to watch it.

  I’d been there.

  “Detective Elliott, it must be a relief after weeks of hard work to finally have this notorious drug supplier in custody.”

  “Yes, it is,” I heard myself answer diplomatically on-screen. “The streets of LA are safer. The people of LA are better off with Tomic behind bars.”

  What I couldn’t say on air was that the slimeball deserved everything he got. With no regard for human life, types like Pavao Tomic were best left to rot in jail.

  Instead, all suited up out in front of HQ, the television version of me went on to say it wasn’t just me who did all the work, like the press insinuated, but a team effort.

  I didn’t outrank the other three men on my team. I didn’t do anything they didn’t do, but that wasn’t how the media portrayed it. To them, I was the leader of the media-dubbed ‘Fab Four’—one of four detectives in the Narcotics Division who had broken crime rings right across the city. My partner, Detective Mitch Seaton, and detective partners Kurt Webber and Tony Milic made up the rest of the team who had seen a record number of criminals behind bars.

  “Yeah,” Mitch snorted from the treadmill beside me. “The one-man show here did it all on his own.”

  I rolled my eyes before looking over at the other guys. “Any time either of you three idiots want to speak up when the cameras start rolling, be my guest.”

  Kurt laughed. “No freakin’ way! I’d rather your ugly mug be all over the news than mine.”

  “The general public would too,” Mitch joked. He reached over and tapped the side of my face. “This pretty-boy makes all us cops look good.”

  Tony laughed at me, and the three of them started talking crap just like the media did. But they gave up trying to goad me when they realised I wasn’t going to bite. I tuned them out and tuned into the rhythm of my feet hitting the treadmill instead.

  They’d settled in to running it out on the treadmills with me when Kurt told us he couldn’t stay long because he had dinner plans with his girlfriend, Rachel. “Workout first, then we hit the bar, just for a few. It’s been a helluva week.”

  And so it had.

  We’d spent months watching Tomic, waiting for the intel to pay off, nabbing him red-handed in a multi-million-dollar drug bust. It had paid off today. No one injured, no casualties, several million dollars’ worth of cocaine, ice and meth off the streets and one more link in the crime chain behind bars.

  So we did what we always did. The four of us hit the gym, then we hit the bar. They didn’t drink much, and I drank even less, but we’d blow off steam in the gym then unwind in the bar, talking crap and having a laugh. It was a cops’ gym and a cops’ bar. I’d been a cop for ten of my twenty-eight years. Police work was all I knew.

  The guys I worked with were like my family, like brothers. I knew almost everything about them, as they did with me.

  A
lmost everything. There was one part of my life they knew nothing about.

  When the other guys commented on me being the blond-haired, blue-eyed playboy of the police force, the one all the ladies wanted, I was reminded of exactly what it was they didn’t know about me.

  Because it wasn’t the ladies I wanted at all.

  That was what they didn’t know about me. That was what I kept secret. Hidden. Private. Would the guys I worked with treat me differently if they knew I was gay? Maybe…probably…

  I wasn’t ashamed. I wasn’t scared. I didn’t flaunt being gay because I didn’t want it to precede me. I wanted to be known for being a good cop, not a gay cop. But above all, I kept my sexuality to myself because it was no one else’s goddamn business.

  After twenty minutes on the treadmill, I jumped off, ready for my bag workout. Boxing was my thing. The gym had a sparring room—no ring, just mats and pads. It was mostly just a form of fitness, and a little self-defence. The other guys on my team didn’t bother with it. They’d watch me spar sometimes, and they’d tease and taunt me, but not one of them had the balls to spar with me.

  I headed into the boxing room, and Chris, the owner of the gym, followed me. “Hey, Matt!” he called from the door. “There’ll be a new trainer taking your session today.”

  “No worries,” I replied. “Is Vinnie okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Chris nodded. “Just a change in his timetable, that’s all.” He looked over my shoulder and called some guy over. “Frankie, this here is Matthew Elliott. He’s your five-thirty appointment. Matt, this is Frankie.”

  I looked at him then, my new boxing trainer. And I got stuck.

  Jesus fucking Christ.

  I did a double take, trying not to give myself away. But he was fucking beautiful. He had dark hair, dark skin, dark eyes. He was European, or Asian. Or both.

  He smiled. Oh, fuck. His smile.

  “Frankie’s real name I can’t pronounce,” Chris went on to say with a laugh. “But he knows I’m an ex-cop and not overly bright, so he forgives me.”

  This Frankie guy extended his hand and introduced himself formally. “Kira Takeo Franco.” I couldn’t detect an accent, but his name rolled exotically off his tongue. I shook his hand, and our eyes met. It was like I couldn’t look away. His stare deepened for just a second and his eyes flashed, as though he could tell I found him attractive. Then he smiled and said, “You’re the guy on TV.”

  “The one and the same,” Chris said. “Anyway,” he continued to me, with a smile, “I’ve seen Frankie in action and thought I’d come in and watch how he does with our best student.”

  Then the door behind me swung open, and Mitch, Kurt and Tony walked in.

  I looked at my team standing in the door, all smiling, then back to Chris. “And what are they here for?”

  Chris answered hesitantly. “Well, Frankie’s pretty good. I might have told them it could be…entertaining.”

  I looked at the three smiling cops, my so-called partners. “And you guys have come in to watch me get my ass kicked?”

  They nodded and laughed, and Mitch defended me…well, kind of. “I got twenty on ya,” he said. He threw his thumb back at Kurt and Tony. “These two aren’t so confident.”

  I rolled my eyes and smiled at them, then started strapping my hands. When I turned around and saw my sparring partner, I almost lost my breath. He was stretching out—his broad shoulders were barely concealed by his singlet top, revealing well-defined muscles and beautiful, olive skin. My dick twitched.

  Goddamn it.

  A hard-on in front of my team was the last thing I needed. I faced the wall, bounced on my toes and shook it out, wishing like hell my old trainer, the very not-attractive Vinnie, was still my trainer.

  “Okay, we’ll start on the bag,” Frankie told me.

  He held the punching bag still while I practised jabs and sequences, and he grinned. His dark eyes were bright and smiling as he held the bag steady. Even though I knew he was staring straight at me, I deliberately didn’t look at him, and kept my eyes on the bag instead.

  But then he called time and picked up hand pads. He stood ready, his covered hands up between us, waiting for me to aim practice jabs into the pads. And in front of our audience, we went through the motions. I jabbed, he deflected. But he smiled as though he was daring me.

  It was as though his full lips, his almond-shaped eyes, that shiny black hair and the dimple in his left cheek were goading me. Luring me.

  And my dick twitched again.

  Fuck.

  “Okay, Frankie,” Chris called out. “Show him what you got.”

  Slipping his hands out of the padded mitts and throwing them to the side wall, Frankie turned to face me. I faced him front on, raising my hands to protect my chin as he did the same.

  We danced around each other for a while offering a few jabs each, and I noticed him lifting his right foot just slightly so his heel left the mat, but not his toes.

  He wasn’t just a boxer. He was a kick-boxer.

  “Keep your foot down,” I told him.

  His eyebrows lifted and he smirked, making my dick twitch again. And then he jabbed me twice in the mouth.

  The other guys cheered as I pulled back, resizing my opponent. “Keep your elbows in,” he instructed. “And keep your hands up.”

  I stepped in quickly, throwing a sharp left. He dodged it easily and grinned again, but this time he chuckled. And I could feel myself getting hard.

  We exchanged a few taps, skirting around each other. I landed a few good shots, as did he. But I was distracted, and he landed some rib shots and a few face shots. Not that he hit me hard, just a gentle tap to prove he could really hit me if he wanted.

  One thing I learned real quick—getting tapped in the face and jabbed in the ribs does little for hard-ons. The more he hit me, the less turned-on I got.

  And just so I didn’t get a fully-fledged hard-on, I let him win.

  I lowered my hands, just a little, and I didn’t move my feet.

  “Oh, come on,” Mitch yelled at me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Elliott? You can fight better than that!”

  I knew I could, and I thought this Frankie guy knew it too, because not long after that, he called us done.

  Kurt and Tony crowed their victory, and Chris proudly clapped his new trainer on the shoulder. Mitch scoffed at me, “Yeah, thanks, partner. You cost me twenty bucks! It’s your damn shout. So get your ass to the bar and get buyin’.”

  I nodded, unwrapping my hands. “Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled with a laugh. “Meet you there in five.” I didn’t even watch them leave.

  Because then it was just me and him.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, pulling strapping tape off his hand. “You were holding back on me.”

  I thought he’d picked up on that. I ignored his question. I ignored his smile, I ignored the fact we were alone. “You do martial arts?”

  He nodded and smiled. “Yeah.”

  “I could tell,” I said. “The way you lift your foot. It’s a defensive move for kick-boxers.”

  I looked at him then, and he was staring at me.

  Fuck.

  “Good detective work, Detective,” he said with a grin. “Now why did you hold back? You don’t seem the type to be intimidated by a little martial arts.”

  I snorted out a laugh at the likelihood of that. “I’m not intimidated.”

  He smirked and stepped closer to me. His eyes were so goddamn piercing, so brown they were almost black. His jet black hair was damp and messy, and his perfect lips were smiling, just a little, in a smug kinda smirk.

  Right then, I wasn’t the kind of cop who could hold his own. I was a deer caught in headlights, mesmerised by this man, how beautiful he was. How close he was…

  His voice was quiet. “So if you’re not intimidated, are you interested? Because you look at me like you could be interested. And I have to say, I wouldn’t mind.”

  Jesus.

  I t
ook an automatic step back from him, breaking my dazed trance, and pulled roughly at the tape on my hands. I cleared my throat. “I um… I ca—I can’t.” I was fucking stammering. And breathing too hard. “I have to go. They’re expecting me.”

  Like some shit-scared little boy, I all but bolted out the door and into the showers.

  Fifteen minutes later, cold-showered and somewhat clear-headed, I walked into the bar certain of two things.

  If I was going to stay in my very comfortable closet, I needed to avoid my new boxing trainer.

  And I needed a fucking drink.

  Order your copy here

  About the Author

  Who am I? Good question…

  I am many things; a mother, a wife, a sister, a writer.

  I have pretty, pretty boys who live in my head, who don’t let me sleep at night unless I give them life with words. I like it when they do dirty, dirty things…but I like it even more when they fall in love.

  I used to think having people in my head talking to me was weird, until one day I happened across other writers who told me it was normal. I’ve been writing ever since…

  Email: nrwalker2103@gmail.com

  NR loves to hear from readers. You can find her contact information, website and author biography at http://www.totallybound.com

  Also by N.R. Walker

  Turning Point: Point of No Return

  Turning Point: Breaking Point

  Thomas Elkin: Elements of Retrofit

  Totally Bound Publishing

  superiorz.org

  Table of Contents

  Table of Contents

  Legal Page

  Title Page

  Book Description

  Dedication

  Trademarks Acknowledgement

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight