Dare to Stay

by Jen McLaughlin

  “Are you Chris O’Brien?” a cop asked.

  Chris pulled back and ended the kiss but didn’t let go of me. “Yeah. That’s me.”

  “Release the woman. Slowly.” The cop walked toward us cautiously with his hand on his weapon. Another walked behind him, gun already drawn. “Stand up nice and easy, hands up where I can see them.”

  Chris kissed the tip of my nose and let go. I felt empty immediately. “All right, Officer. I’m not resisting. I do have a gun I’d like to inform you about, and it’s in my holster on my lower back. I won’t be reaching for it.”

  “Thanks for letting me know,” the officer said. “And the girl? Is she permitted to leave of her own free will?”

  Chris smirked. “Yeah. I’d never try to stop her from doing what she wanted to do. I know better. When she’s angry, she makes you guys look like teddy bears with water guns.”

  I swallowed hard, not moving, unable to believe that Chris had guns pointed at him and he was cracking jokes. The cop looked at me with a wrinkled brow. Another officer pulled out his weapon, too, aiming it at Chris’s back.

  “He’s kidding,” I said quickly. With two guns pointed at the man I loved, I didn’t want to upset the balance. “And he wasn’t holding me hostage, Officer.”

  “Good to know. Just stay down, miss.” The second cop came closer. “Hands on your head. Turn around.”

  “Yes, sir.” Chris winked at me and did as he was told. He looked about as concerned about his arrest as he might be if he had dropped a meatball on the ground, or something equally unimportant. “The gun is in the middle of my back, underneath my jacket.”

  “What happened here?” The officer asked, cocking his head to a third policeman, who came up behind Chris, reached under his jacket, and took his gun. “You kill someone today?”

  “Yeah, but only because he was trying to kill me and my girl.” Chris stood completely still as the officer patted him down. “That’s the only one.”

  The officer didn’t pause in his inspection. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t take your word for it.”

  “You could at least buy me dinner first,” he joked.

  The officer laughed. Laughed. He handed the gun off to another officer, dropping it into a big clear plastic bag. It was immediately toted off. “Do you have a permit for that gun I just took?”

  “No.” Chris side-eyed me. “I don’t.”

  “Then you know what comes next.”

  “All too well,” Chris said dryly.

  “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” The cop closed cuffs over one of Chris’s wrists, and I swallowed hard. “You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”

  Chris flexed his jaw. “Yes, sir.”

  “All right.” He rotated Chris’s hands behind him and locked the second wrist. “Something tells me this isn’t your first arrest.”

  Chris laughed. “You’d best go play the lottery, because it’s your lucky day, Officer.”

  The policeman shook his head but smiled. “Off we go.”

  “I meant every word I said,” Chris said as he was led past me. “I love you.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” the officer said, nudging him forward. “Let’s go, Romeo.”

  I covered my mouth, watching as they led him to the car. They slid him into the backseat and slammed the door, and Chris ducked his head to look at me. The way he watched me, as if I was his everything, stole away any doubts I had about being with him.

  After literally almost losing him, and watching him get carted away by the cops, I knew one thing. He might not be perfect, and he might break my heart, but I didn’t care.

  He was mine, and I loved him.

  Even if he got himself killed, it would be worth every second I spent in his arms. Even if he would break me, I’d still choose the same. I’d still pick him. And I wouldn’t regret a thing. To be honest, I’d probably have a much easier life without him in it. There would be no cops. No shootings. No guns. And I’d probably never have to watch another man die again . . .

  But I wouldn’t have Chris.

  And that wasn’t a life I wanted to live.

  I stood up, my legs trembling badly enough that I had to hold on to the banister for support. “Where are you taking him?”

  “To the precinct. He’ll be printed, processed, and we’ll go from there,” the policeman to my left said. “If I were you, I’d start choosing your friends better.”

  I stiffened, not answering.

  This judgment was something I’d have to get used to.

  Mitchell came up to my side, staring at me like he didn’t even know me. “This is the man you want to be with? A guy who gets shot at, almost killed, almost gets you killed, and admits he has a gun illegally?”

  When he said it like that, it sounded crazy. I gripped the banister tighter. “Yes. That’s the man I love with all my heart.”

  Mitchell shook his head. “God help you.”

  “I don’t need help.” Bending down, I picked up the flowers Chris had gotten me. They’d miraculously managed to remain intact. “I just need him.”

  “Miss? We’ll need to bring you to the station for questioning.”

  I nodded. “Of course. But I have to check on my cat.”

  The officer gave me a weird look but motioned me inside, anyway. I found Buttons under my bed, gave him a kiss, made sure he had food and water, and followed the officer outside. Before I knew it, I was alone in the back of a cop car, and we were headed to the police station.

  The next couple of hours passed in a blur of statements and cops asking me a million questions. Chris was nowhere in sight. Every time I asked where he was, I got a different answer. He was in questioning. In booking. In a cell. With a lawyer. The answer constantly changed. And I just wanted to go home.

  With Chris.

  The door to the interview room opened. I glanced up, exhausted and sore and just done. “Can I go home—? Scotty.”

  “Yeah. It’s me.” He shut the door behind him. He wore his dark leather jacket and a pair of jeans. “Tate sent me here to get Chris out.”

  So he wasn’t here as a cop today. “Is he okay?”

  “He’s fine. I just saw him a little while ago, shooting the shit with some of the officers.” Scotty walked over to me, grabbed my chin, and lifted my face. “How are you doing, though?”

  “Tired,” I admitted.

  “I’m sure.” He let go of me and cocked his head to the door. “They’re done with you, so you can go home and sleep if you want. Do you need a ride home?”

  I stood up and tucked my hair behind my ears. “I’m not going home. I want to wait for Chris.”

  “All right. He’ll be a little longer, though. The Southie Boys are talking to these guys, so he won’t be out for another couple of hours yet.”

  “I don’t care.” I picked up the bottle of water an officer had given me. “I need to talk to him.”

  Scotty opened the door and cocked a brow. “Good or bad? ’Cause he’s had a pretty shitty day already.”

  I didn’t answer. After we left the room, Scotty led me outside. It was dark out, and we were far away from the water now, but I still drew in a deep breath of fresh air. “God, I don’t know how you guys do this.”

  Scotty cracked open the top of a Monster Energy drink. “Do what?”

  “Break rules. Commit crimes. Answer questions.” I gestured toward the closed double doors. “Be in there, in general.”

  Scotty snorted, his bright green eyes standing out in the moonlight. “Because it’s what we do. There’s really not much of a choice in our life.”

  His words reminded me of Chr
is’s plans to open a youth center, to give kids the choices they had never had. “You know about Chris’s plans?”

  “The youth center?” He took a sip. “Yeah. He asked for my help with getting it set up the second he agreed to be on the payroll.”

  I swallowed hard. “If they find out . . .”

  “They won’t.” He met my gaze, and for once, the dancing laughter was gone from his eyes. “I’ll make sure of that. I promise.”

  It wasn’t enough . . .

  And yet it was all I would get.

  CHAPTER 27

  CHRIS

  Half a day later, I stumbled out of the precinct, rubbing my eyes at the dawn sun. It had taken a lot longer to get out of there than it would have if I’d been taken in on Steel Row territory, since we had to play a lot of politics to get me out, but Tate came through, like always, and I was short a good pistol, but I was now a free man.

  As I stumbled outside, I took out my phone. Just as I was pulling up Molly’s number, someone walked in front of me. “You’re out.”

  I lifted my head and grinned at Scotty. “Yep. For now.”

  “Good.” He rocked back on his heels and shoved his hands in his pockets. “All fixed up?”

  He wore his jacket, while mine was still in a bag—and covered in my blood. They’d removed the bullet from my arm and stitched me up, but my jacket would need some TLC again. It had been nice not having to stitch myself up for once, though. I glanced down at my bloody shirt. “Yeah, it wasn’t too bad. I’ve had worse. Like, three times last week.”

  Scotty snorted. “You’d think you had a death wish.”

  I typed a quick text to Molly. Still at your Cape house?

  “At one point, I kinda did.” I glanced at Scotty. “After Lucas.”

  Scotty’s amusement faded. “It was a shitty thing to do.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  Scotty stared at me and nodded. “I forgive you. And I’m sure he does, too. That’s why you’re alive.”

  “Yeah.” I shoved my phone away and swallowed hard. “Even if I don’t deserve that forgiveness, he gave it to me. That’s the kind of guy he is.”

  “And now you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make it up to him.” Scotty shifted on his feet and looked over his shoulder. We were outside alone, with no one in sight, but he still dropped his voice. “Even die for me.”

  I stiffened. “If need be.”

  “Well, you’re not allowed. What I do, I do because I’m willing to risk it. I’m willing to take that chance with my life.” He placed a hand on his chest. “That’s my choice to make. If I get hurt, that’s on me. Not Lucas. Not you. Me.”

  I shrugged with my left shoulder, pulled my phone out, and checked for a reply from Molly. I had nothing. Great. The shoot-out had finally sealed the deal on us. She obviously wasn’t willing to risk her life to be with me, and I didn’t blame her one little bit. But that wouldn’t stop me from loving her. “Doesn’t mean I won’t do my best to avoid that happening. I owe it to Lucas.”

  “No, you don’t.” Scotty frowned. “You owe it to him to stay alive. That’s what he wanted. It’s why he let you live. He’d want you to go to Molly, kiss her, and do your best to make your life a good one. You can bet your ass that’s what he’s doing.”

  I cleared my throat and averted my gaze. I’d had no sleep and was tired as hell, and my arm stung like a bitch, but it hurt more to have this conversation than all of those things combined. “He’d want you alive, too.”

  “Yeah. And that’s on me.”

  I stared at him, my jaw ticking. “All right.”

  “And . . .” He dragged a hand through his hair and sighed. “If you want out of our arrangement, I’m okay with that. I can help you get out of this town, if you want. I can maybe even help you fake your death. Get you a new start.”

  “What about you?” I asked, scratching my head. “Don’t you think Tate will begin to get suspicious?”

  “That’s for me to worry about.” He shrugged. “Not you.”

  I closed my eyes, because he was offering me an out. A week ago, I might have taken him up on that offer, but not now. Too much had changed. Hell, too much inside of me had changed to take the cop-out. “Thanks, but no thanks. I want in.”

  Scotty eyed me with respect and nodded. “On one condition.”

  “Yeah?” I asked.

  “Stay alive.” He glanced at something over my shoulder. “For her.”

  I turned around, and my heart raced faster than an M60 shot bullets. “Molly.”

  Sometime during the night, she’d changed into a clean, soft knit dress with an open oversized sweater over it. She hugged her sweater closed and gave me a small smile. The sun rose behind her, bathing her in a soft yellow glow, and her hair looked almost red in the dawn. She was pale and had big bags underneath her eyes and looked as if she hadn’t slept a wink last night, like me. Still, she was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen.

  And she’d never stop making me want to be a better man.

  “Hey.” Scotty grabbed my shoulder. “Say it.”

  “I promise.” I shrugged his hold off. “But you better do your best to stay out of shit, so I can keep that promise, too.”

  He laughed. “Deal. Now go get your girl. I helped her get her car, so you’re free to go.”

  “Thanks, man.” I locked eyes with him. “For everything.”

  Scotty nodded and walked off, whistling under his breath, smoothing his hair as he headed back toward the station.

  I made my way over to Molly, my heartbeat increasing with each step I took. The closer I got to her, the faster it went. If I didn’t hurry the hell up, I might die of a fucking heart attack before I got to her. I still had blood all over me, so I stopped short of touching her. “I’m sorry I’m late, Princess.”

  She let out a little laugh. It was like music to my ears. “I’ll forgive you . . . this one time.”

  “I have so much to tell you. So much to say.” I glanced over my shoulder. “If we don’t get shot at, that is.” I paused again. “I’m sorry for that, too.”

  “I know.” She ducked her head down, hiding her face from me. “How’s your arm?”

  “Stitched up, by a real doctor this time.”

  Another nervous laugh. This time, she glanced over my shoulder. “Is Scotty gone?”

  “Yeah.” I swallowed hard. The way she was acting, and the way she kept avoiding my eyes, told me all I needed to know. She’d chosen to be smart. To not be with me. “I know you’ll never love me, and I get that, I do, but I’ll never stop loving you. I love you so damn much, Molly. And I just had to say that, one time, before I left you alone.”

  “Chris . . .” She hugged herself tighter. “I—”

  “I know,” I said quickly. “I just wanted you to know. I just had to say it one last time. That’s all. I love you, Molly.”

  “I know. And I hate you, Chris.” She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, her chin trembling. “I really do.”

  I winced, not even bothering to pretend that her words didn’t hurt. “I know.”

  “No. You don’t get it.”

  “I think it’s pretty loud and clear,” I answered slowly. “But feel free to elaborate if you want. I deserve it.”

  “I hate you because I didn’t want to love you. I didn’t want to care.” She opened her eyes and smiled. I held my breath at the beauty that stared back at me. “I didn’t want anyone to hold that power over me. To make me need them. But I do. I love you, Chris.”

  I didn’t move for a second. What she was saying wasn’t possible. Why would she love me? How could she? “No, you don’t. I told you, you don’t have to pretend to love me. I don’t need it. All I want is you. That’s enough for me.”

  “Too bad.” She closed the distance between us, resting her hands on my chest. “Because I alrea
dy love you. I love you so much it hurts, and it scares me, but I don’t care anymore. I love you too much to fight it. You asked me to let you in. You swore to love me forever, no matter what I chose to do. Well, now I’m swearing the same thing. To love you forever, no matter what happens, or who you are, or what you do. I love you, and you’re just going to have to deal with that.”

  I shook my head, my whole body reeling from her words. And, dammit, my throat ached in a way I’d forgotten it could ache. I hadn’t cried in years, after I’d accepted the fact that my father was an asshole and nothing I did would stop him from beating me.

  I’d sworn never to cry again.

  But here I was, seconds from fucking tears, and I couldn’t even be angry, because Molly loved me. Actually loved me. I’d never in a million years thought I would get this.

  That someone would love me.

  I wasn’t that guy.

  “Shit.” I covered my face and let out a nervous laugh. I rubbed my eyes, trying to play it cool, because I was a fucking guy. I didn’t do emotions. “You love me?”

  “I do.” She smiled up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. “So much.”

  I closed her in my arms, hugging her tightly. So tightly she squealed. “I promise to do my best to give you the life you deserve. I promise I’ll be out of this life, and once I am, I’m going to fucking marry you.” I framed her face with my hands. “And I’m never gonna hurt you ever again. I promise that, too. And I’ll give you lots of orgasms. Every day. As many as you want.”

  She let out a happy laugh, her cheeks pinking. “Chris.”

  “I mean it. Every word.” I kissed her, my mouth lingering on hers. She clung to me, not seeming to want to let me go, either. “Someday, I’ll be free. Even if it means that I have to lie low for a while, living off my savings before I can find a new, respectable way to provide for myself, I’ll do it. I’m going to be that guy for you.”

  “You can be any guy you want to be,” she whispered, hanging on to my shirt with both fists. “As long as you’re my guy.”

  “Forever.” I lowered my face to hers, stopping just short of kissing her. “I fucking promise.”