Don't Look Back: sequel to He Loves Me Not (Lily's Story, Book 2)

by Kersey, Christine

  I was having trouble accepting the fact the Trevor was dead. It was ironic actually. Everyone had believed I was a widow and now I actually was. As I remembered the happy moments Trevor and I had spent, sadness washed over me and I shed tears for the man he could have been. Though I was glad he wouldn’t be able to threaten me or Natalie anymore, I was deeply saddened that his life had to end when he was so young.

  In my mind, I recounted all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. Even though it ended in tragedy, I felt proud that I had been able to defend myself as well as I had. And Greta was my hero. But how had she gotten out of the backyard?

  I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. As I looked in the mirror I saw a ring of bruises beginning to form on my neck. After showering I put on a turtleneck, then changed Natalie and fed her. Carrying her in my arms, I went downstairs.

  The front door was still broken, but mostly closed, keeping out the majority of the cold air. Marcus was asleep on the couch, a blanket pulled up to his chin. I smiled, grateful to have him in my life. Though we’d had a few rocky moments, he’d been there at the most important times and he was becoming a good friend. I left him to sleep, then set Natalie in her baby seat while I made breakfast.

  As I waited for the first batch to cook, I had a thought. Pulling open the silverware drawer, I lifted the tray and looked underneath. The paper where I’d written the alarm security code was gone. Trevor must have taken it when I was unconscious, I realized. Again, I wondered what he had planned on doing. He would have already taken the baby at that point, so why did he need to disable the alarm? Was he planning on coming back and getting rid of me? The idea filled me with horror. Although his death was terrible, I was grateful I had survived.

  Closing the drawer, I pushed the thoughts aside, not wanting to speculate on what might have happened. What actually happened was awful enough.

  When the pancakes were ready, I gently shook Marcus and invited him to eat. He stretched, then sat up on the couch. “Is it time to get up already?” he asked.

  I laughed. “Only if you want some of my delicious pancakes.”

  “I definitely do.”

  We sat together at the table and ate a leisurely breakfast. As we finished eating, I thought about Greta and hoped I would have her back soon. “One thing that’s been bothering me, Marcus,” I said as I carried my plate into the kitchen. “How did Greta get out of the backyard? She’s never gotten out before.”

  “Let’s see if we can find out,” he said, pushing himself away from the table.

  Taking Natalie out of her baby seat, I followed Marcus as he went into the backyard and walked to the gate. It hung open. We looked at the latch and saw it had been broken.

  “I’ll bet Trevor broke that at some point last night,” I said. “He was probably in a big hurry and didn’t realize he’d broken it.” I paused. “I wonder why he was even back here.”

  “Maybe he was looking for the breaker box to cut your power.”

  “Yeah. Maybe he thought it would keep the alarm from working.” I controlled a shudder as I recalled the panic I’d felt when I’d realized the alarm wasn’t working. “But he disabled it anyway.”

  “Well, I guess I’ll fix the gate latch when I fix the front door,” Marcus said.

  I smiled. “What would I do without you to fix all these things?”

  He grinned back. “I guess you’d be living in a broken down old house.”

  Later that day Marcus had fixed both the front door and the gate. I had the alarm company come out and fix the alarm. They told me it looked like the wire had been cut, which would normally set off the alarm, but then Trevor had apparently punched in the code, which kept the alarm company from knowing there was a problem.

  Ten days later the man from animal control brought Greta back, saying she’d passed the rabies quarantine. She leapt from the back of the truck and rushed up to me, her tail wagging.

  “You’re such a good girl,” I said as I squatted next to her and wrapped my arms around her.

  Over the next few weeks Marcus spent more and more time at my place. Though it had taken him a little while, eventually he became comfortable holding Natalie and began to really enjoy playing with her.

  The detectives finished their investigation and concluded that I had rightfully used self-defense and that Greta was not a threat. They had also discovered that the two hundred thousand dollars Rob and Trevor had buried was money they had won gambling. They gave half of it to Rob and the other half to me, with the understanding that I would have to pay taxes on it. I really didn’t want to have anything to do with it, but I decided it should benefit Natalie, so I placed it in a trust for her to receive when she grew up.

  When they’d asked Rob why they had buried it, he had said they’d been drinking and all he remembered was having the money and then it was gone and Trevor had claimed he’d lost it gambling.

  As time went on, Marcus and I developed a strong bond, but neither one of us wanted to rush in to anything. We were both still trying to recover from past relationships and just wanted to enjoy spending time with each other without the pressure of expecting anything more.

  One spring afternoon, when Natalie was four months old, she woke from a nap and I brought her down to the backyard. It was April and the California weather was perfect. I spread a blanket on the grass and lay her on her stomach in the middle of it as Greta picked up a ball and dropped it at my feet. Natalie lifted her head and watched as I threw the ball for Greta. A few minutes later Marcus came in through the back gate and joined in our play. I tossed him the ball and he threw it for Greta, then I sat on the blanket and put Natalie on my lap so she could see better.

  As I watched Marcus throw the ball, he turned and smiled at me. My heart filled with warmth and I could see us being a family together. When I smiled back, he came over and sat next to me, wrapping his arms around me. Then he leaned close and nuzzled my neck.

  “You smell good,” he murmured.

  I turned my face to his and our lips met. We kissed each other eagerly. When we pulled apart and gazed into each other’s eyes, something new seemed to pass between us.

  Maybe we’re ready to take it to the next level after all, I thought as my smile widened. He smiled back, his incredible green eyes sparkling, and I knew he felt it too.

  Enjoy the first four chapters of

  Over You by Christine Kersey, available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Smashwords.

  Chapter One

  “What now?” Jessica Stevens asked as her cell phone rang. She frowned as she read the name on the screen, then sighed before shutting off the ringer. “I don’t want to talk to you, Alex” she said in a sing-song voice. Turning her focus back to her laptop, she continued working, but the cell phone drew her attention once again when it chimed.

  Trying to ignore the fact that a message waited for her, she concentrated on the programming code she was writing, but found her eyes drifting away from the computer screen and toward the cell phone. “Fine, you win.” She grabbed the phone and punched in the number for voice mail, then frowned as she listened to the recording.

  “Jessica, I know you don’t believe me, but I’m really sorry about everything.” The caller released a ragged breath as if trying to control his emotions. “I care about you so much. Please let me see you. I need to talk to you in person. I need to explain.” He paused and when he spoke again, his voice cracked. “Just give me one more chance.” He paused again. “I hope to talk to you soon. Bye.”

  Jessica deleted the message, set the phone down, and massaged her forehead. Leaning back in her chair, she stared at the ceiling as if the answer to her problems would somehow reveal themselves among the swirls of textured plaster. Something landed in her lap and she jumped, startled for a moment until she locked eyes with her gray tabby, Hudson.

  “Hey there. Are you trying to tell me it’s time for a break?” She scratched his chin and he purred as he nudged her hand toward his ears. “Yo
u like that, don’t you?” Glancing at the clock on her laptop, she lifted him from her lap and set him on the floor, then went into the nearby kitchen. He followed close behind and when she opened his cat food with the can opener, he meowed.

  “I know, I know,” she said, dumping the cat food into his bowl. “I’m late with your dinner. Again. I’m sorry, big guy, but that’s one of the hazards of working from home.” Jessica set the bowl of cat food on the floor in front of him. “The work is always there, calling to me.”

  He ignored her as he devoured his meal.

  Jessica smiled as she watched him, then went back to her desk and slid into her seat, trying to get back into the groove she’d been in before the cell phone had interrupted her. She reviewed the programming code she’d written, but the text on the screen faded as the phone message replayed in her head. She blinked several times, focusing on her work, but thoughts of Alex kept demanding her attention. A few minutes later Hudson returned, rubbing against her leg. Glad for the diversion, she picked him up and set him on her lap.

  “What should I do, big guy? Alex wants to try to talk me out of breaking up with him.” She held Hudson up so they were eye to eye. “I know you liked him, but I don’t think he’s good for us.” Hudson stared back until Jessica set him on her lap.

  He jumped onto the desktop and walked on a small stack of papers, then lay down.

  “I might need those.” Jessica laughed and gave Hudson a gentle poke, which elicited instant purring.

  Distracted from working now, she pulled up her personal email account and saw an email from her mother, inviting her to have dinner with her and Jessica’s dad the next evening. She immediately replied, accepting the invitation. When she returned to the email program, a new email had just arrived. She frowned when she saw the name of the sender. Alex Tyler.

  She groaned, but opened the email and read the message. The gist of the email was the same as the voice message. She knew if she wanted to have him out of her life, she would need to meet with him face to face and end it, once and for all. Pressing Reply, she agreed to meet him for lunch the following day, then got back to work writing her programming code.

  ~*~*~

  At the restaurant the next afternoon Jessica parked her late model Honda Accord and took a deep breath, dreading the conversation with Alex. Even though she still cared about him and even though they had begun to get serious, his lies had damaged her trust in him and she didn’t think she could be with him anymore. She climbed out of her car and entered the restaurant, stopping just inside the doorway. Looking around the crowded restaurant, she spotted him sitting at a table reading the menu and watched him for a moment, considering what she was about to tell him.

  He ran his fingers through his thick black hair, an unconscious gesture she’d seen him do many times before. Seeing him do it now, Jessica felt a measure of endearment towards him and momentarily wondered if breaking up with him was the right thing to do. Giving a slight shake of her head, she decided to press forward with her original plan and see where it led. She moved in his direction, her heart pounding in anticipation of telling him they were done.

  Alex looked up as she approached, then stood, a bouquet of colorful flowers in one hand. “Jessica.” He smiled broadly and stepped toward her, moving in for a hug.

  Taking a step back, she shook her head. “We need to talk.”

  Alex frowned as he sat down and Jessica slid into the seat across from him.

  He held the flowers out. “These are for you.”

  “Thank you.” She took them from him and laid them on the table, then picked up her menu and stared at the selections, trying to gather her thoughts. When she set the menu down, she found Alex watching her. He reached across the table to take her hand, but she moved her hands to her lap. “Look, there’s no point in dragging this out.” She watched his face closely, assessing his reaction. “Like I told you when I found out you’d . . . well . . . cheated on me, I can’t . . .” She shook her head and looked down at her lap before gazing directly at him. “It’s over.”

  “Jessica, listen to me. This has all just been a big misunderstanding.” Alex’s eyes seemed to plead with her and she felt her resolve slipping. “Whatever your friend thought she saw was really nothing more than two old college friends getting together for dinner and catching up. I hadn’t seen Mikayla in more than two years. I hadn’t even planned on having dinner with her that night. She came to my office to meet with one of the other attorneys about a business matter and I happened to see her. She didn’t even know I worked there.”

  Hearing the name of the woman he’d been with along with all of his denials brought back the feelings she’d had when her friend Bethany had told her she’d seen Alex kissing another woman and then saw them leave the restaurant hand in hand. Jessica had been devastated when she’d heard the report. Recently she had begun to think Alex could one day become her husband, but now that had all been wiped away.

  When Bethany had told her how Alex had been practically giddy with this Mikayla woman at the restaurant, Jessica’s thoughts had gone back over Alex’s odd behavior the previous few weeks and how preoccupied he had seemed and suddenly everything had clicked into place. Though she believed his story that the woman had run in to him at his office, she didn’t believe that it had just happened on the day of the dinner. “Alex, tell me the truth. Did you date this Mikayla when you were in college?”

  “We may have gone on a few dates, but mostly we were just good friends.”

  “Good friends.” Jessica nodded. “I see.”

  “What? What do you see? Do you see how much I care about you? Do you see that I don’t want this to come between us?”

  “What you don’t seem to understand is that this has already come between us. It’s been between us for weeks now.”

  “Weeks? This just happened a few days ago.”

  Jessica looked at the earnest expression on Alex’s face and wondered if she was wrong. Maybe she had misunderstood his recent behavior. Maybe he really was as innocent as he claimed. She tried to recall the exact words Bethany had used to describe what she had seen. It wasn’t hard since the images they invoked were burned in her mind’s eye. He had his arms around her and he kept laughing as he kissed her. Finally they left the restaurant and when they walked out, they were holding hands and gazing at each other like long-lost lovers. It had been painful to hear Bethany’s vivid description, and it had felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over her heart, but it left no doubt in Jessica’s mind that it was more than a friendly dinner.

  No, she wasn’t mistaken. And she couldn’t let herself feel sorry for Alex now as he looked so pitiful and sad.

  The waitress appeared at their table, but Jessica had lost her appetite. Ordering a small bowl of soup, she waited for their server to leave before facing Alex again. “Alex, all I want is for you to be honest with me. Tuesday wasn’t the first time you ran into Mikayla, was it?”

  “I want to be honest with you, I do. But I know how you are and you’re going to jump to conclusions no matter what I say.”

  Do I? she thought. Do I jump to conclusions? She had to admit that sometimes she did, but that didn’t mean she was wrong in this instance. “Just tell me the truth. That’s all I’m asking.”

  He looked at his lap, then off to the side before looking at Jessica. “You’re partially right. It was actually a few weeks ago that I ran into Mikayla.”

  I knew it, Jessica thought in bitter triumph.

  “But we’re just good friends. Nothing more.”

  “How can you expect me to believe you when you lied about when you first saw her?”

  Alex shook his head. “See what I mean? There you go, jumping to conclusions.”

  “If you weren’t doing anything wrong, why did you find it necessary to lie to me about seeing her in the first place?”

  “Why are we even talking about this? We should be talking about our future together. That’s what’s really import
ant.”

  Jessica paused, considering his words for a moment, but then a thought came to her. “Alex, it seems to me that you really like this other woman.” Ignoring the sharp pain that those words brought to her heart, she continued. “If that’s true, then we don’t have a future. If you want to be with her, why are you wasting my time and yours, being with me?”

  He frowned as he seemed to ponder her question. “As long as I’m being honest, I might as well tell you something. I do like Mikayla. I’ve had feelings for her since college. But nothing is going to come of it. I’ve had to move past it. I’m with you now, Jessica. You are the one I want to be with.”

  Shocked to hear his admission, Jessica didn’t know what to say for a moment. Finally, she asked, “If you have feelings for her, what makes you so sure nothing will come of it? What assurance do I have that you won’t decide to act on those feelings and leave me?”

  “Because,” Alex started, then stopped. He looked at his lap, then lifted his gaze to meet Jessica’s. “Because she’s married.”

  “Married? And you were kissing her?” Startled by this revelation, Jessica was even more certain that she could never trust Alex. “So I suppose if she were to become available, you’d be first in line to comfort her, right?”

  He shook his head. “Not if I’m with you.”

  “I’m sorry, Alex, but at this point any trust I may have had in you is gone.” The shock of the conversation numbed her feelings, allowing her to remain calm.

  “Look, I know I made a mistake taking her to dinner. I let things get out of control. I never should have done more than say hello at the office. But I’ve learned my lesson. It won’t ever happen again. I promise. It’s you I love, Jessica.”

  Jessica shook her head. The damage had been done. She knew it was time to move on and now she just wanted to get back to the sanctuary of her little apartment as soon as she could so she could mourn in private.