The Pregnancy Bond

by Lucy Gordon

  ‘She’ll understand as soon as she gets that message.’

  ‘I don’t think she will get it.’

  ‘Nonsense. Why shouldn’t she?’

  Because she doesn’t want to get it, Kelly thought, exasperated. Were all men this thick? Why do you think she switched her mobile off?

  But she judged it wiser to stay silent. She could be wrong. Olympia might be an honest woman, sincerely in love with Jake, wanting only what was best for him.

  And pigs might fly!

  As the minutes slipped by he kept looking at his watch, growing impatient. The phone stayed silent.

  ‘Go!’ Kelly said at last. ‘I have an essay to write, and you’re driving me nuts.’

  ‘I’m not doing anything.’

  ‘You’re hovering.’

  ‘Well, pardon me for breathing.’

  ‘I don’t mind your breathing, it’s your hovering I can’t take. Now for pity’s sake get dressed, go out, do whatever it takes to make Olympia happy.’

  ‘That’s a thoroughly immoral suggestion!’

  ‘I meant buy her dinner,’ Kelly said innocently.

  ‘I’m not leaving you alone.’

  ‘If I need company there’s always Carl.’

  Jake’s eyes narrowed. ‘Why Carl?’

  ‘He’s a good friend.’

  ‘That wouldn’t be why you want to get rid of me?’

  She tore her hair. ‘I want to get rid of you because you’re acting like a broody hen! Now will you please keep quiet and leave me with Tutankhamun?’

  ‘All right, all right. Don’t get agitated, it’s bad for the baby.’

  For an hour there was peace of a kind. Jake never spoke, but she was aware of him rustling in the background. It was a relief when the telephone rang. Something about the shrill told Kelly that it was Olympia, and she wasn’t pleased.

  ‘I tried to get back to you,’ Jake explained. ‘I hoped you’d have my message that there was a problem about tonight… No, I’m not ill, it’s Kelly…’

  With a swift movement Kelly whisked the phone out of his hand. ‘Olympia,’ she said graciously, ‘I’m sorry to have spoiled your evening. Why don’t you come to my place? I’ll be going out soon.’

  ‘The hell you will!’ Jake growled.

  ‘The hell I won’t!’ she replied firmly.

  ‘If Carl wants to see you he can come here.’

  ‘What a great idea! Jake, you’re a genius.’

  ‘Are you still there?’ came Olympia’s chilly voice down the line. Being sidelined wasn’t what she was used to.

  ‘Of course,’ Kelly told her. ‘I’ll tell Jake you’re coming over. He’s so looking forward to seeing you.’ She hung up and immediately dialled Carl’s number.

  ‘You said I could talk to you whenever I wanted,’ she reminded him.

  In a few minutes he was on his way and Jake was fulminating.

  ‘What’s your game, Kelly?’

  ‘I just thought you’d like a pleasant evening with your girlfriend.’

  ‘Here? In a jolly foursome with you and Carl?’

  ‘We’ll go out and leave you two alone. Don’t worry, I won’t cramp your style.’

  ‘Maybe I don’t want you to leave me alone with Olympia.’

  ‘Why? Have you quarrelled?’

  ‘No, but-’

  ‘I’m just trying to be a good friend.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said grumpily. ‘Sure.’

  From there the evening went downhill. Olympia arrived half an hour later, done up to the nines. Kelly greeted her amiably before saying, ‘You won’t mind if I leave you? I have to work.’ To Jake she mouthed, ‘Take her out.’

  ‘No,’ he mouthed back.

  Kelly groaned and vanished into her room.

  Instantly Olympia’s arms were around Jake’s neck. ‘I think you’re a positive saint,’ she murmured against his mouth.

  He disengaged himself gently, with a significant glance at Kelly’s door.

  ‘You’re right,’ Olympia said with a sigh. ‘My poor dear, it must be very hard for you.’

  ‘It’s harder for Kelly,’ Jake said stubbornly. ‘Fancy getting stuck with me again when she thought she was rid of me for good.’

  Olympia’s face showed what she thought of this, but she let the matter drop and instead began to question him about his health.

  ‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ he said hastily. ‘It’s just that I don’t seem able to get it all together. My stomach still reacts badly to some foods.’

  What he didn’t tell her was how he would awaken feeling full of beans and ready to return to normal life, only to find his strength draining away around noon. ‘Like a bath when the plug’s been pulled,’ was how he’d expressed it to Kelly, but he said not a word to Olympia. She wasn’t the sort of woman to whom a man could confide weakness.

  With relief he managed to discourage her from this interrogation, but worse was to come. When Kelly emerged from her room Olympia started again on her, demanding full details of Jake’s life and treatment. The subject of this concern became uneasy, then embarrassed, but Kelly answered everything serenely, even managing a laugh as she said, ‘Please don’t worry, Olympia. I promise you I’m taking good care of him. Anyone would think you were his mother, to be so concerned.’

  Olympia was too wise to answer this, but Jake gave Kelly a quick, appraising glance.

  The ring of the doorbell prevented matters getting any more awkward. Carl breezed in, impossibly handsome, smiling, pulling Kelly into his arms for a hug. Laughing, she hugged him back.

  ‘Who’s that?’ Olympia muttered.

  ‘That is Professor Carl Franton,’ Jake muttered, emphasising ‘Professor’ edgily. ‘From Kelly’s college.’

  ‘Is he the father of-?’

  ‘Very possibly.’

  ‘Then why-?’

  ‘Not now, Olympia. I don’t meddle with Kelly’s private life.’

  ‘But shouldn’t he-?’

  ‘I said not now.’

  ‘All right. Let’s talk about us and what we’re going to do together. I have so many plans-’

  Jake tried to concentrate on what she was saying, but it was hard when he was straining to hear the other two. Carl had brought a baby book with him, and he and Kelly were going through it together, exclaiming and laughing. But when Carl spoke seriously he lowered his voice, which struck Jake as a dirty trick.

  ‘Jake.’ Olympia touched his arm.

  ‘I’m sorry?’

  ‘I asked if you were thinking of new projects.’

  ‘I’ve been working out ideas,’ he said lamely.

  Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kelly go into the kitchen, and he made an excuse to Olympia.

  ‘What’s up with you?’ Kelly demanded as he appeared in the kitchen. ‘You’ve been sitting there looking all struck of a heap. You can’t treat Olympia like that. She’s important to your career.’

  ‘Well, maybe my career doesn’t depend on her.’

  ‘I just meant don’t close off your options. Lighten up, Jake. We can’t spend the whole evening like this.’

  ‘May I remind you that this cosy little gathering was your idea? And not one of your better ones.’

  ‘Stop getting agitated. It’s not good for you.’

  ‘And stop telling me what to do.’

  ‘Just part of my duties.’ She couldn’t resist adding, ‘I’m sure Anne of Cleves never had this much trouble with Henry VIII.’

  ‘If she was anything like you I’m surprised he didn’t behead her along with the others,’ he snapped.

  Kelly sniffed pathetically. ‘That’s a nice thing to say when I’m doing my best for you.’

  ‘Hell, Kelly, it was only a joke! All right, it was a lousy one and I’m sorry. Don’t cry-you’re bound to be a bit sensitive just now-it’s part of being pregnant, but I’m sorry.’ Desperately he put his arms about her. ‘Don’t cry. Please, please don’t cry.’

  ‘Oh, get along with you, of course I�
�m not crying.’

  ‘What?’

  Her face was completely dry and her eyes full of mischief. ‘Fooled you, though, didn’t I?’

  ‘Kelly, I swear I’ll-’

  ‘You’ll what? Remember my delicate condition.’

  He grinned reluctantly. ‘You’re the most maddening woman!’

  ‘Tonight was a mistake,’ she admitted. ‘Why don’t you suggest going out for a drink?’

  ‘Great idea. Leave it to me.’

  Carl, coming to find Kelly, was firmly detained in the doorway by Jake’s hand. ‘We’re all going out for a drink,’ he announced. ‘I’m shut up here far too much. It’ll do me good to get out.’

  Olympia agreed to this with relief. Jake helped her on with her coat and had reached into the wardrobe’s for Kelly’s jacket before he realised that she was no longer with him.

  Investigation revealed her to be still in the kitchen with Carl, deep in argument.

  ‘No, no, you’ve got it all wrong,’ Carl was saying. ‘I keep telling you this in class but you never believe me. The pyramids-’

  Jake coughed from the doorway. ‘Are you two coming?’ he asked coldly.

  ‘Sure.’ Carl beamed goodwill. ‘You know, this wife of yours has gotten a bee in her bonnet-’

  ‘She’s not my wife,’ Jake declared in a flat voice.

  Carl beamed at Kelly. ‘That’s right, you’re not,’ he said, with such a pleased inflection that Jake nearly knocked him down on the spot.

  ‘Sorry,’ Kelly said. ‘When we get arguing we never know when to stop.’

  ‘How delightful,’ Olympia said, appearing beside Jake. ‘How you must enjoy your talks! Why don’t we go on ahead? You can join us when you’ve decided about the pyramids.’

  ‘What a good idea!’ Kelly exclaimed, with more eagerness than Jake thought was proper.

  ‘Better if we all go together,’ he tried to insist.

  ‘But I’m not ready, and Carl wants a cup of tea first. You go on. We’ll catch up.’

  ‘We’ll be in the Red Lion,’ he growled.

  He opened the door to Olympia with a gallant flourish and stood back to let her pass. He glanced back at Kelly and Carl, who were already sitting together on the sofa, riffling through a book. Nothing could have been more innocent, and nothing could have annoyed him more.

  The Red Lion was a small pub two streets away. It was cheerful but slightly shabby, and not at all what Olympia was used to. Jake managed to find them a table in the corner, not too close to the piped music, which made her wince.

  ‘Do you realise this is the first time we’ve been together outside that apartment?’ she asked meltingly.

  ‘What was that?’ Jake cupped his ear.

  She repeated the words, but at a volume that robbed them of their cooing quality and made them sound like a nag.

  ‘What a delightful place this is,’ she tried again. ‘Not sophisticated but-full of character.’

  ‘I never was sophisticated,’ Jake said. ‘In some of the places I’ve knocked around this would be luxury. It suits me.’

  ‘But don’t you remember Paris-the night we had dinner together at that restaurant in the Eiffel Tower? That was a special time, wasn’t it?’

  He felt awkward. He’d felt awkward then, he remembered.

  ‘And afterwards you came to my room,’ she reminded him.

  ‘And got too drunk to go through with it.’

  ‘But I honoured you for that. You were a married man, and you took it seriously. But now-’ She touched his hand and smiled into his eyes. ‘Now it’s different.’

  ‘Yes, a lot of things are different,’ he agreed sombrely, taking a surreptitious look at his watch. Where was Kelly?

  A burst of loud music made Olympia wince. ‘Do we have to stay here?’ she said, looking around her with distaste. ‘I’m sure there are nicer places.’

  ‘I told Kelly we’d be here,’ Jake said stubbornly. ‘I don’t want her to turn up and find us gone.’

  ‘Oh, darling,’ Olympia squeezed his hand. ‘You don’t really think they’re coming, do you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well-people can get very deeply involved in discussing-the pyramids. And let’s face it, there’s a lot they can’t say with you around.’

  ‘But it was Kelly who-’ he stopped.

  ‘Kelly who suggested the drink, and then backed out when you were committed?’ Olympia asked quizzically.

  ‘Yes, dammit!’ he snapped.

  ‘You can’t really blame her. She’s in a very equivocal position between you and Carl.’

  ‘What do you mean, equivocal?’

  ‘Well, why isn’t she living with him? They’re obviously very close, and you say he’s the father-’

  ‘I said he might be.’

  ‘Are there any other candidates?’

  Without warning a pit had appeared at his feet. Hell would freeze over before he admitted to Olympia that after backing away from her bed he’d slept with his ex-wife, possibly fathered her child, but didn’t know because she was keeping him emotionally at arm’s length.

  ‘I told you once to leave this,’ he said firmly. ‘Kelly and I are like brother and sister. There are questions I don’t ask her because the answers are none of my business.’

  Like, did she fool me into going out so that she could be alone with Carl? A husband could ask, but how can I?

  The conversation limped along for another half an hour before he could decently put her into a cab and bid her goodnight. Olympia kissed him tenderly, as if to say that she understood. He only wished he understood it himself.

  The lights were on when he reached the apartment, but there was no sign of life. Then Jake heard the murmur of voices coming from behind Kelly’s closed bedroom door. Kelly murmuring, Carl in response, then a soft, feminine laugh that made the hair stand up on the back of Jake’s neck.

  ‘That’s lovely,’ he heard her say. ‘Oh, yes, I like that.’

  Then Carl, ‘As long as you’re pleased, Kelly. That’s the main thing. This is half the fun of parenthood.’

  Jake stood very still, hoping for something more that would explain what he’d heard, but the voices dropped to murmurs. He waited there for a long while, before a sense that his behaviour was undignified drove him to bed. He lay listening for Carl’s departure until, despite his determination not to, he fell asleep.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  J AKE didn’t know what made him awaken, but one moment he was asleep, and the next he was sitting up in bed, fully alert. Opening his door, he found the apartment silent and dark. Kelly’s door was ajar and he ventured to push it gently and look in. The glow from the window showed him that the room was empty.

  Flicking the light on he discovered that the bed hadn’t been slept in. Spread over the duvet were books of nursery wallpaper, and pages of scrawled notes. But there was no sign of Kelly.

  Some instinct made him go to the window. It overlooked the front, and the little park where they had talked the other night. There were still some park lights on, and he could just make out the tiny children’s playground, with a couple of swings and one plain wooden carousel, aimlessly turning. After a moment he identified the person sitting on it. She had a forlorn aspect, huddled in a thick jacket, arms crossed over her chest against the night air, turning and turning aimlessly. In a minute Jake had thrown on some clothes and was hurrying downstairs.

  By the time he neared the carousel it was moving very slowly, bringing Kelly face to face with him, then carrying her gently away again. She didn’t seem surprised by his sudden appearance, and he wondered if she was even aware of him. He climbed on next to her. Kelly didn’t speak, but she smiled and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm.

  ‘Well,’ he said at last, ‘did the two of you decide?’

  ‘Decide?’

  ‘How to decorate the baby’s room. That’s what you were mulling over, wasn’t it?’

  She gave a brief laugh. ‘Yes. We can’
t decide between fluffy penguins and fluffy bears.’

  He considered. ‘I prefer fluffy tigers myself.’

  ‘Uh-uh! Carl’s determined on penguins.’

  Jake made a face. ‘Well, if that’s what Carl wants… Is he planning to do the decorating as well?’

  ‘He did mention it.’

  ‘There’s no need. I’m strong enough for a bit of painting.’

  ‘No way,’ she said at once. ‘You’re going to be on the sick list for a while yet. Leave it to Carl. Anyway, it can wait. There are still important matters to be agreed. If I give in about penguins on the walls I expect to choose the stencils on the furniture.’

  If he’d really been her brother he could have asked which room she was planning to turn over to the baby. Probably the small one, where she was now sleeping. But that left her nowhere to go, except his room. Which meant that she was looking ahead to his departure.

  Jake tried phrasing the question several ways before abandoning the attempt.

  He pushed the ground with his foot, to speed up the carousel.

  ‘There was one of these where we used to live,’ he said after a while. ‘Just after we were married.’

  ‘I remember,’ she said softly. ‘I used to think I’d take our baby on it one day.’

  He reached for her hand in his arm and gave it a squeeze.

  Turn, turn…the park was gliding gradually around them.

  ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there,’ he said quietly.

  He wondered if he should explain that he meant when she’d lost the baby, but she immediately picked up his thought.

  ‘It wasn’t your fault. You got that freelance assignment. You’d worked so hard to make them give it to you and nobody else-’

  ‘Jobs had been a bit thin on the ground,’ he recalled. ‘We’d gone through your mother’s money and I had nothing to show for it. I felt so ashamed of that, I’d have done anything to earn money. I didn’t like going abroad on that job, but you seemed fine when I left-’

  ‘Nobody could have guessed it was going to happen,’ she said quickly. ‘I was actually feeling very well that day, and then suddenly-’

  ‘Go on,’ he said after a moment.

  ‘No, it doesn’t matter.’

  Her refusal was like a door slammed in his face, hurting with unexpected force. ‘Why won’t you tell me?’