Seriously Hexed

by Tina Connolly

  “How about an app—”

  “That was rhetorical. Where’s my phone? Where’s my phone?” She opened her messenger bag, digging for it. “Hudzeth was in that lamp for years, and that’s just a lamp. An app … an app could interact with the outside world. An app could make music videos. Do things.”

  “We’d still have to convince Devon that he’s better off without a demon,” I said.

  She showed me the avatar again, the ponytailed black guy with the big smile. “Tell me that guy couldn’t be a rock star,” said Poppy.

  “That guy could be a rock star,” I said. “In fact, it would be a shame to leave him stuck in an app on your phone. I would like to see him be a rock star. Everyone would like to see him be a rock star.”

  “It’s still a long shot,” said Poppy. “Look, I can fix the app. It’s just an extension of the code and spells I used to make it work with my wand in the first place. But…”

  But Devon was flesh and blood, and the demon seemed to have his claws securely in him. “Yeah,” I said. Would Devon even let the demon go?

  But we would cross that bridge tonight. No, earlier. Four p.m., when the demon’s twenty-four hours were up and he had to return to give Devon a chance to say No more demon, thank you very much.

  “And in the meantime?” I said. “What do we do now?”

  Poppy straightened up. “We call our own coven,” she said. “We call it earlier. They think they can use the disappearances to their advantage? Let’s see if we can use the hexes to our advantage. We already know Esmerelda isn’t bothering to show. Who else might stay home?”

  “We … we do what? We call a coven intentionally?”

  “You need three people to call one,” said Poppy. “That’s you, me, and Pink.”

  “I’m not asking how we call one, I’m asking why.”

  Poppy seized my hands. “Because this is our chance to do something. We’re at an impasse until the hexes finish. Yours is the last one, at midnight tonight. Then Hudzeth will be released from his old contract and we can make a new deal with him to take us to our mothers. So right now, this is our chance to make a difference.”

  “But it’s dangerous,” I said, and my voice sounded whiny even to my own ears. “We’re supposed to wait for our mothers. And they can work on changing these coven rules, and—” I broke off, looking at Poppy’s expression.

  Gently, she said, “I suppose I think that whenever you have an opportunity to make something better, you should take it.”

  I closed my eyes. People had been telling me that a lot lately. Especially Jenah. Maybe there was a reason I hadn’t been able to hear it. “I’m scared,” I finally admitted. “I wish you were the one on the coven, not me.”

  “I am for tonight,” Poppy said. “I have my mother’s proxy.”

  “Me too,” said Pink.

  Deep breath. “I’m not saying I’m up for this, but … what time would you want to call it?”

  Poppy lit up. “We still have to gather ingredients, in case we can convince Hudzeth to take us to the oubliette, and we better get all our ducks in a row before yon doom striketh, whatever it is.…”

  “Invisible turnip,” I said, because jokes are the best way to deal with dooms.

  Poppy checked the time on her phone. “Let’s call the coven for the same time your mother did. Eleven thirty tonight.”

  “They’ll chew us up and spit us out alive,” I said.

  “Not if we take reinforcements,” she said.

  * * *

  Poppy immediately texted the coven about the new, improved coven time, called by us. Then she took her phone up to her room and fixed the demon app. There was a small explosion from upstairs during the process. I didn’t ask. Finally, she, Pink, and Wulfie walked over to Sam’s, leaving me her phone with the app on it to show Hudzeth.

  After that, it was 2:45 p.m. and there was still one last thing I had to do before the demon meeting at four.

  Go back to school.

  I grabbed my bike from the backyard and headed out.

  There was someone I had to see.

  I waited at our locker for her. She was, of course, not alone—Henny and Olivia were still following her around like puppies. I swallowed my nerves and pride—hey, look at that, maybe I had just as much social anxiety as Devon—and said, as warmly as I possibly could, “Hi, Henny and Olivia, it’s nice to see you. I hope rehearsals are going well?”

  They looked at me like I had fallen from another planet.

  “May I please speak to Jenah alone for a moment? I will return her to you in mint condition.”

  Olivia actually laughed at that.

  Jenah smiled. “I’ll see you at rehearsal,” she said to them, and they waved and headed off. She raised eyebrows at me. “Yes?”

  “So, when I get stressed I become kind of a jerk,” I said.

  “Mm,” Jenah said.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too,” she said. “I could tell you had something going down this week, and I could have tried to make more time for you.”

  “Also, you were right, and your dress code thing is super important. Even if it’s not life-and-death, it, uh. It takes courage to do what you’re doing. I’m glad you’re doing it.”

  “Still time to join us and help save the day,” Jenah pointed out. “Friday morning dance-off.”

  I shuddered. “But, look Jenah, the thing is, I also … It’s been a weird week. I’ve been doing all these things I don’t normally do. Like I was in a car with Sparkle and Leo and Devon and Poppy, and I had this strange moment where I felt, I dunno, like part of something so much bigger.…”

  “Why do you think I like theater?” said Jenah.

  “And you seemed to have that, and you were hanging with all those Kit Kats—”

  “And you felt left out.”

  “I guess so.”

  “I told you at the pizza place,” she said. “Our lives don’t have to diverge unless you let them.”

  “I wanted to tell you everything—I still do—but you were so busy—”

  “And you were busy with Poppy,” Jenah said calmly.

  “We just … have so much in common.” I lowered my voice. “It’s not just her mom. She’s a you-know-what, too.”

  “Iiiinteresting,” said Jenah.

  “That’s probably a secret,” I said hastily.

  “Silent as the grave. Look, Cam.” Jenah had a serious face now. “How many close friends have you had in your life?”

  “Um.” Sparkle when I was five. And then mostly—“Mostly you,” I admitted.

  “Well,” said Jenah. “I think you are making a new good friend.”

  “I am?”

  “Letting someone into your life? Sharing feelings with them?” I shuddered, and Jenah laughed. “It’s okay,” she said. “You might soon have two good friends.”

  “Huh.” I said. “Really?”

  She shrugged. “Only you and Poppy can answer that for sure.” She smiled and touched my arm. “I have to run to rehearsal,” she said. “I promise we’ll hang out soon.”

  * * *

  I felt a little fortified after that. Jenah was right. Maybe you could gather new friends without losing the old. Maybe you didn’t have to start over, like Sparkle, to make changes in your life.

  And sometimes, maybe you could make changes to improve other people’s lives, too.

  I biked over to my house and got there a little before four.

  I pulled out Poppy’s phone to look once more at the app we were going to offer the demon. The cute avatar came right up when I touched the icon, and it grinned, waiting for me to ask a question. It looked like a pretty sweet deal to me, compared to being stuck in demon fire forever. But would Hudzeth take it?

  I closed the app and stared at the phone. Unlike mine, Poppy’s phone connected to both WitchNet and the real world. I could do something on this phone I’d never been able to do before.

  Look at Devon’s music videos.

 
Heart beating, I opened up the top-ranked one. “Take the First Step.”

  He was in jeans in this one—just jeans—sitting on a beach somewhere. Must be nice to have demonic teleportation handy all the time. The sun was setting pink behind him. Between the beach and the jeans, the words of the protest song slipped down like butter. The confidence fairly radiated from his face and posture. He cared about what he was singing. That magnetism was what was making the song go viral—everything else was just the hook to get your attention.

  His song was a call to action. What Jenah had said. What Poppy had said.

  I closed the video and put the phone in my pocket.

  It was time for me to listen.

  And time for Devon to listen, too.

  * * *

  The rest of the early evening was a mixed bag. The first scene went something like this:

  Me: So, Demon, do you want to live in this app?

  Demon: I’m signing a music deal with Devon. Also, no more witches, forever, you suck.

  Me: I hope your music videos tank and you turn into a turnip.

  Demon: *sticks out tongue*

  Demon: *vanishes*

  Shortly after that, Leo arrived, with two puppies in the backseat of his expensive car.

  Leo: So, first I turned into a dog …

  Puppies: arf arf arf

  Leo: And they totally came with! I’m like their big brother.

  Puppies: lick lick lick

  Leo: Did you know Ingrid’s collars have two settings? Human or wolf.

  Me: Wow, that could be really useful for the werewolf community.…

  Leo: Also since I petted a werewolf I can turn into one now!!11!

  I sent Leo off to take the puppies to his house to play there. That collar definitely held promise. I wondered what it would be like to have my little brother around all the time, and not just three days a month.

  And finally, Poppy came back with Pink and Wulfie and Sam.

  Poppy: *produces Tupperware of ten Bigfoot claws*

  Me: Gee, I hope you found a pain-free spell or something.…

  Poppy and Sam: *smooch smooch smooch*

  Pink: *makes gagging noises*

  * * *

  I put all the teleportation ingredients in the old fanny pack that Sarmine had given me long ago, and strapped it on.

  We dined on sandwiches and tap water and, as night fell, we began organizing for the night’s main event. Pink took Wulfie upstairs to read to him till he fell asleep. The rest of us went to the RV garage. The destroyed votives were replaced with new ones. Mine was the only one still intact and lit. I didn’t like the idea of extinguishing it, so I set it aside and got a new one for the coven tonight. I did not have Sarmine’s spells for fancy chairs and green fog, so we left it as a dimly lit garage with a bunch of mismatched chairs forming a circle. Poppy produced a packet of inferior Parmesan cheese and we cast my new invisibility spell on a couple of Sarmine’s old bedsheets and handed them out to our allies. Pink was super impressed by the bedsheets and commented several times about how non-eely they smelled.

  Devon/Hudzeth showed up about eleven. Their gig had gone well and the two of them were completely uninterested in splitting up the act. I gave them a bedsheet, wondering how it would be to date someone who was someone else half the time. I hoped it didn’t come to that.

  It was 11:20 when the first witch showed. “To your places, everyone!” I said. “Be absolutely quiet, and don’t come out from the bedsheets till I call you!” They scattered, and then I caught the flash of a sequined skirt as a dark-haired girl walked to the RV garage. “Never mind, it’s Sparkle.” Which was good, as I had been getting worried about her out there at Ulrich’s house all on her own. “What happened with Unicorn Guy?” I said as I let her in. “Did you find out what his hex was?”

  Sparkle sighed. “He might have plans to gather mermaid fins, but I gather he hasn’t actually been that monstrous so far. At least, all that happened for his hex was a bunch of video cameras showed up at noon and started recording him in the shower. Because he is a disgusting perv. I didn’t think that was sufficient justice, so after I verified that yes, the new pool was for the mermaids, I, uh, pushed him into it.”

  “And there was water, or…”

  “Yes,” she assured me. She grinned. “But no ladders, remember? There’s a sunbathing rock in the middle, so he won’t drown, but he can’t climb out. Someone can go over tomorrow and throw him a rope.”

  “Sweet justice,” I allowed.

  It was 11:29 now and I was starting to hope that maybe no one would show.

  “So we can just vote on new laws and pass them?” I said to Sparkle. “Like, you and me? That would be two-oh, easy. Change everything for the better.”

  “Have to have a quorum of the coven here to vote,” said Sparkle. “Seven people minimum.”

  I sighed. It was annoying to have to hope that not all of the witches were taken out by Sarmine’s karma hex.

  “They have a good incentive, though,” said Sparkle. “If they don’t come, they lose their place. So they’ll try.”

  Right about that time, the door to the garage slammed open. In came the trio of Canadian witches. Sports Team was wearing a different sportsball shirt. Leggings was still wearing leggings. Boring Skirt had found an equally boring skirt. It was all very kind of them, I thought.

  They did look a little hectic from their day of being chased by wild animals. Sports Team had an arm sling, Leggings was covered in bandages, and Boring Skirt was limping. Their robes were half on, and only Boring Skirt had remembered her mask. Come to that, I had no idea where my coven costume was. I was wearing jeans and a freshly unicorn-spritzed Newt Nibbles T. It had been through a lot.

  Sports Team grinned triumphantly as they marched up to their places in the circle. “Thought you could do this without us?” she said. “Guess again.”

  “Delighted to have you here,” I said, fairly truthfully, and gestured them inside with a flourish.

  There were five coven members now, standing in a loose circle around the cauldron. The thirteen votives were dark.

  I picked up my wand and stood at Sarmine’s place at the cauldron. I was terribly nervous. Why couldn’t Poppy be doing this? She liked this stuff. But she was in the back corner of the garage, silent and secret under an invisible bedsheet.

  “I, uh, call you to order,” I said.

  “This isn’t a meeting of the Girl Guides,” sniped Leggings.

  “Girl Scouts,” said Boring Skirt. “This is America, you know.”

  “I mean … By the order of Hikari Tanaka, Esmerelda Danela, and myself, Camellia Hexar, I call this meeting to order.” I tried to emulate my mother’s ringing tones.

  “Don’t you know the spell for the little gavel sound?” said Sports Team. “I like when Sarmine does the gavel sound.”

  I ignored that, because obviously I was going to have to start ignoring them or I was never going to get through the night. “Please initiate your votives so we can begin.”

  The five of us bent down to touch our wands to the candles. “Camellia Hexar,” I told mine, and it obediently lit up white.

  I stood. “Now, for the first item of business, I’m going to take roll call to see if we have a quorum present.”

  “Can’t you count?” put in Boring Skirt.

  “Sarmine Scarabouche?” I called. No answer, obviously. Her votive remained dark. “V. Valda Velda?” I said, and my heart was thumping. “Esmerelda Danela?”

  That was Pink’s cue, and she handled it perfectly. She slipped out from under the bedsheets, a tiny girl in solid black, and walked straight to her mother’s place.

  “We’re using midgets now?”

  Pink produced a scroll from her sleeve and unrolled it to display the official proxy seal. She dropped it in the cauldron and a poof of smoke went up and her light flashed green. Accepted.

  “Present,” said Pink.

  “You’re still not at seven,” sniped Leggings.
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  But I was breathing easier, now that I had seen that the cauldron accepted Pink. “Ingrid Ahlgren,” I called. “Ulrich Grey. Sports—I’m sorry, what are your names again?”

  “Fiona Laraque,” said Sports Team.

  “Jen Smith,” said Leggings.

  “Penny Patel,” said Boring Skirt.

  I tried to commit those to memory, but I wasn’t sure if they stuck. I had too many other things on my mind. I called out Rimelda Danela (gone) and Hikari Tanaka (present), and then we got back to Lily Jones. Poppy stepped forward with her own proxy seal. She dropped it in the cauldron and—poof—she was accepted too.

  “You were saying…?” I said to Leggings.

  Ingrid glared. The balance of power in the room was shifted—I could feel it in the air. There were four of us now: me, Sparkle, Poppy, Pink. Three of them.

  “Seven makes quorum,” I said. “The coven is complete.” My heart was beating fast. “The next order of business.” I took a breath. “I move that we redefine what coven means.”

  “Seconded,” said Poppy.

  “Oh my god she’s her mother’s daughter,” said Sports Team. “Are we going to be here all night with definitions and spreadsheets?”

  “Witches make sweeping rules that benefit themselves and nobody else,” I said.

  “You can’t really be suggesting we let in humans,” said Leggings.

  “No,” I said. “But there is another group of people within the magical community who have no representation. Sentient Magicals.”

  Boring Skirt gasped in surprise. Leggings laughed and howled and slapped her thigh. Sports Team picked up a chair and threw it to the floor to relieve her feelings.

  “Per Beezlebub’s Rules of Disorder,” I said, as Poppy had coached me, “I now open the floor to general discussion, criticism, and insults.”

  “We’ve spent the last century making rules to divvy up Sentient Magicals, you goose,” said Leggings, still laughing. “You don’t think they’ll like hearing that.”

  “No, because I think they’d like to put a stop to being divvied up,” I said.

  “It would be one in the eye for Ingrid,” Boring Skirt pointed out.