by Ceves, Nina
Daniel pulled his head back a little so he could look into her eyes. He shook his head. “Alma.”
Chapter Twenty-two
Alma set the tortillas on the table and took a deep breath, trying to quell her nerves. It was Sunday, and Daniel and Elijah were on their way to the Rivera family dinner. She cringed, thinking back to just a couple of hours ago, at church. Daniel had had to leave early, because Elijah cried. Alma’s fantasy of them all sitting together, her mother becoming charmed by the baby’s sweetness and his father’s tender care of him, had evaporated. Daniel had waved to her and her mother, making a quick departure, holding the inconsolable Elijah close against his chest. Elena had glanced at her and then looked forward, saying nothing.
“He’s at that stage,” Alma said finally, feeling defensive. “He’s anxious around strangers all of a sudden. He probably just felt overwhelmed.”
Elena had bit her lip, then turned to her. “Some men just want a mother for their child. Be careful, mija.”
“Mom!” Alma whispered, knowing her mother hated it when she called her Mom. “It isn’t like that!”
The reverend began to speak so Alma had to force her irritation and frustration down.
Now, she waited for Daniel and Elijah’s arrival, feeling increasingly anxious.
People started arriving and the little house filled with noise and laughter. Alma glanced out of the window and saw Daniel’s car. She opened the door and went out to greet them.
“Ma!” Elijah leaned toward her, reaching.
Daniel put him in Alma’s arms. “Did you hear that? I think he said Alma. I kept telling him that we were coming to see Alma.”
“Yes! Wow!” Alma felt flustered. For a moment she had thought the baby was calling her mama. It scared her how her heart had soared at that thought. She loved this baby, too. Not just his daddy.
“If he cries, I’ll take him home,” said Daniel, looking at the house and squaring his shoulders. “I figure he just needs time to get used to new things, like church.”
“That’s fine. Let’s just see how it goes.” Alma smiled, shrugging. Somehow, now that Daniel and Elijah were here, all her anxiety had dissipated and she was simply happy to see them.
As they got closer to her mother’s front door, her nervousness returned.
Elena pulled open the door. “Hello, again.” Her words were gracious and she smiled, but it was clear that she was on guard, protective.
Elijah wrapped his arms around Alma’s neck, regarding Elena. Then he grinned and leaned forward suddenly, his arms going out to her.
Surprised Elena held out her arms and took Elijah, holding him gently. He patted her face gently. “Da. Ma.”
Elena’s eyes softened and her entire demeanor changed, right in front of them. It was like magic. “Hola, papi. Come on in to my house. That’s right, come on in! Oh, we’ll have such a nice visit.”
Alma and Daniel looked at one another, shocked.
The entire afternoon, Elijah was content in Elena’s arms. He kept twisting around to look at everyone and everything, then wrapping his arms around Elena’s neck. She grew utterly and increasingly besotted with the baby, not putting him down once. Instead, she gave orders about the meal and sat down with him at the head of the table.
“Would you like to give him his bottle?” Daniel held it out to her, having gotten it from the diaper bag.
Elena looked up at him and she smiled. “Yes, thank you. Yes, I would.”
Elijah fell asleep in her arms. While everyone ate and talked, Elena rested her cheek on top of the baby’s downy head, and was quiet.
Alma was happy to see Daniel looking content, sitting next to her. He took part in conversations and got into a discussion about his apprenticeship with her cousin who had just bought a house that was a fixer upper.
At the end of the afternoon, Elena reluctantly handed Elijah back to Daniel. The baby was so deeply asleep, he did not even wake. Elena had asked her friend to pack up some leftovers for Daniel, and she went to get them.
“Here, carry this for him,” she said, handing the large bag to Alma.
“Thank you so much, Mrs. Rivera, for the food and for inviting us.” Daniel shifted his weight, cradling Elijah carefully, while holding out a hand to Elena.
“Please, call me Elena,” she said, smiling. “And please come back next Sunday.”
“Thank you!” Daniel nodded his head, his blue-gray eyes sparkling, as he turned to go, Alma following, carrying the diaper bag and leftovers.
He settled Elijah into his car seat while Alma placed the bags in the passenger seat. She wished, suddenly, that she was sliding right into the car and heading off with them. It didn’t feel right for her to turn around and go back to her mother’s house. Daniel straightened and took her into his arms. “I wish I could buckle you into the front seat and take you home with me.”
She didn’t care that relatives and friends were probably glancing out of the window curiously. She kissed him softly. “Me too.”
“Do you want to come over later?” he asked, his voice lowering.
She nodded. “I will just help my mother clean up, and then I’ll come.”
“I bet you clean fast, Hummingbird,” he said, holding her tighter.
She laughed, feeling sparks everywhere, pushing her hands up the back of his neck to stroke and grab his hair.
He closed his eyes and took a quick breath. “That. When you do that.”
“Complete sentence?” Alma laughed.
“You know what I mean,” he growled, his eyebrows lowering as he held her even closer.
Thrilled, she pulled out of his arms and went to her mother’s front door, waving.
He sighed and grinned wider as he got into his car and drove off.
Alma went into the house, her cheeks hurting from smiling so much. She stopped, startled, to see so many eyes on her. So many happy faces, looking at her with so much warmth. Then the teasing began, mixed in with sincere wishes for her happiness.
Alma and her mother washed and dried dishes in silence. Finally, Elena turned to her, putting a sponge down. She took a breath. “Alma. I want what is best for you.”
Alma tensed.
“But I think my own lack of trust has made me bitter, and I don’t want to pass that down to you. I saw how happy you looked with Daniel. I saw how he looked at you. I’m… I’m happy for you. They are welcome here anytime.”
Alma couldn’t say anything. She blinked back tears and hugged her mother. She knew her father had broken her heart, broken both their hearts.
“And maybe,” said Elena casually, beginning to wash a large pan. “I could take care of the baby sometime, when you and Daniel wanted to go out on a date.”
“I have never seen him take to someone the way he took to you, Mama,” she said, smiling through her tears.
“Well,” Elena shrugged modestly. Then she beamed. “What a sweet baby!”
“I know!” Alma nodded.
“He was just afraid of everything that was new at church,” Elena said stoutly. “Next Sunday, I’ll introduce him and Daniel to the Sunday school teacher, Marlena. Then, Elijah will feel more at home.”
Alma smiled, nodding. “Great idea, Mama.”
Then, Elena wanted to know about Elijah’s mother, and Alma told her the whole story, Elena clucking sympathetically.
Chapter Twenty-three
Toys were strewn over the floor and the bathroom floor was wet, but Alma and Daniel ignored everything but each other. While Elijah slept soundly, they sat on the sofa, entwined, kissing.
“Dang it,” Daniel said, reaching for his phone. They had been ignoring notifications of a few calls or texts. He read his messages, his body suddenly becoming tense.
“What’s wrong?” Alma asked.
“What the…” His face was becoming pale.
There was a knock on the door. Daniel jumped up and went to the door. Before he opened it, he looked back at Alma, his expression grim. “I’m sorry.�
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“What?” Alma sat back, frightened.
Daniel opened the door and stood in the doorway, bracing his arms against the frame.
Alma heard a woman’s voice. She stood up and slowly approached the front door, staying to the side but looking past Daniel’s shoulder. A young woman stood on the doorstep, holding a large backpack, as a cab drove away. Her fair hair was limp and her eyes were reddened. She looked exhausted and sad and lost, and Alma’s heart went out to her.
“It was a sudden decision, but not really. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, Daniel. I want… I want him. I want to say yes, too. Yes, I’ll marry you. We should get married.”
Alma felt the room spin around her, felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
“Jessica. This is… No. What are you saying?” Daniel sagged against the doorframe, but did not step back to let her in.
Jessica. Alma’s head began to ache and she turned, blindly racing through the kitchen to the back door. She turned back to grab her bag and went outside, fumbling for her car keys.
“Alma!”
All she wanted to do was disappear. Consumed with pain, she felt as though her heart was truly breaking. But Daniel’s voice, calling her name. It was as though he were tugging on an invisible thread that bound them. She stopped and turned.
“Alma,” he said, more quietly, reaching out his hand for her, but not leaving the doorway. In that instant, she understood. She saw everything in his eyes. Help me, stand by me. I have to keep her out, I don’t trust this. Don’t leave…
Shouldering her bag, she dropped her keys inside and walked up to stand by him.
“Hello, I’m Alma,” she said, holding out her hand to Jessica.
Automatically, Jessica reached out her hand. “Nice to meet you,” she said faintly.
“Alma, this is Jessica, Daniel’s birth mother. Jessica, this is Alma. My girlfriend.”
Alma slipped her arm around his waist and pressed close.
“I shouldn’t have come like this,” whispered Jessica, looking away, past them, toward the mesa under the starry sky.
“I don’t…” Daniel struggled to find words. “I don’t want to prevent you from seeing him, if you want to change your mind about being in his life. But this? Just showing up after texting me that you were at the airport? It’s not right, just showing up like this.”
“I’m… I’m kind of a mess right now,” she said, still not looking at them. “I tried to put him out of my mind but I can’t.”
“You’ve had a long trip,” said Alma softly. “Why don’t I take you to a hotel, and the two of you can talk tomorrow?”
“Okay,” whispered Jessica. She lifted her backpack onto her shoulders. “Yes, I’d like that.”
Daniel didn’t seem to be able to leave the doorway, and Alma understood. He felt protective of Elijah, confused by Jessica’s unexpected arrival. She nodded at him once, meeting his eyes. His shoulders seemed to relax a little and he nodded back.
“Come on,” said Alma, walking to her car. “I can drive you back here tomorrow.”
On the way to a small bed and breakfast that Alma liked. She had worked with the couple who owned it on their website and brochures. She stopped at a restaurant, going through the drive through. She ordered what she thought Jessica might like, then pulled into a parking space, handing the food to her. Jessica ate quietly until every last bite and every last sip of horchata was gone.
“Thank you,” she said, finally, sitting back and turning to look at Alma. “And sorry. I’m sorry to show up like this. I don’t know what I was thinking. Sorry I basically asked your boyfriend to marry me, right in front of you. I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t… I’m not in love with Daniel. I just…”
Alma shrugged, trying not to laugh. Then she couldn’t help it, she laughed a little. The release of tension through laughter made her feel better, and she was relieved to see a wry smile cross Jessica’s face. She hadn’t wanted to make Jessica feel worse by laughing.
“Well, I can imagine how you are feeling. I can imagine how hard this all must have been,” said Alma, seriously.
Jessica’s eyes filled with tears. “Thanks,” she said quietly. “Alma? Could you drive me back to the airport? I know there’ll be a red-eye back to New York. I need to go home. I still want to talk to Daniel. I’ve just been feeling really…. It feels wrong that I have no contact at all with… with…”
“Elijah,” said Alma, softly.
“Elijah,” whispered Jessica, her voice breaking. “I want to be in his life, even if it’s just that I get some pictures once in a while. I don’t want him to grow up thinking… thinking that I didn’t want him. That I didn’t love him. I tried not to. But…I’ll take some time, get myself together. Focus on school. Then…”
Alma started the car and drove toward the airport. “I think everything will work out.”
Jessica nodded, wiping her eyes with a napkin from the takeout bag. “Thanks. Really. Thanks.”
“De nada,” said Alma, quietly, glancing at her through the darkness.
She dropped her off at the airport. Jessica held her backpack in front of her and looked at Alma. Alma thought she looked better, less lost and sad. They said good-bye and Jessica thanked her again. Alma watched her enter the terminal and drove away, heading back to Daniel’s house.
He opened the door, looking over-wrought as he pulled her gently into the house and against him. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her closely, not saying anything, until he took a breath. “I asked her to marry me, but it was before I met you. You have to believe me. I just thought it was the right thing to do, when I found out she was pregnant with my baby. Believe me, Alma.”
“I do,” she said, simply.
He relaxed and let out a breath. “You do.”
“Of course,” she said. “Jessica is on her way back home, back to New York. I think she’ll be in touch. I think she wants to be in Elijah’s life, somehow, but she seemed to regret showing up like that.”
“Thank you,” he said, looking into her eyes with so much emotion, it made tears come to her eyes. “Thank you for standing with me, for your help. For your understanding.”
She reached up and touched his face. “At first, I felt my heart breaking, to hear what she said, about marrying you.”
“I’ll never break your heart,” he said fiercely, quietly. “Never. Any heart breaking around here will be mine.”
“No.” She shook her head. “Never.” She put her hand on his chest.
He pulled her closer and kissed her mouth. She felt an explosive surge of desire and she held on tight.
“Stay?” He pulled back and cradled her face, whispering. “Stay tonight?”
“Yes,” she said, nodding, threading her fingers through his hair at the back of his neck.
He picked her up and walked into his bedroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. He lowered her to his bed and pulled off his shirt, breathing quickly. Bracing himself above her, he looked into her eyes. He opened his mouth to speak and shook his head.
She ran her hands up his arms, unable to see his tattoos in the dim light. She touched his chest and neck and then pulled him down on top of her, kissing him as everything within her felt molten hot. They kissed and kissed. To be so close to him, skin against skin, in the darkness. Nothing between them anymore. He touched her, his hands shaking, and she had to bite down hard as to not cry out in pleasure. She reached for him, and he had to do the same. He exhaled, whispering her name, as he lowered his mouth to her, kissing her everywhere. She gasped, wrapping her legs around him. She had never felt this charge, this heat, with anyone, ever before. He paused, burying his head between her face and shoulder.
“Hummingbird,” he whispered. “Just having you here. In my bed. It’s everything. No pressure from me, remember?”
“I’m presuming!” She half laughed, half gasped, holding his jaw in her hands, kissing his mouth and then his chin. “I’m presuming everything tonig
ht, Daniel. Everything.”
The next day, Alma was exhilarated and exhausted in equal measure. She stared at her laptop, not seeing anything, sitting in her patio. Finally, she got her phone and called Scott.
“I’m ready to come back,” she said simply. She grinned as she heard him whoop and yell out for Laura.
After speaking with them and making plans to come into the office tomorrow morning, she opened up her blog, marveling at the number of comments.
Moving On, she wrote. I’m cured. I no longer have a crush. I’m going to leave this blog up in hopes it may help someone else one day, but close the comments. It took soul searching, grace, some changes, some courage, and hope, and finally, falling in love. I wish anyone reading this all the best.
She closed the window and tried to focus on work again, but the feeling of joy was completely distracting. She kept thinking about Daniel, how tender and intense he had been, how much pleasure she had given him and received from him. She got a text from him. Can’t stop thinking about you. Love you. Want you.
She touched the phone’s screen, wishing she was in his arms. Last night, she wrote. It was the best. Ever. I love you.
I want to presume, he wrote back, that you’ll stay over tonight, too. Can I? Will you?
I love it when you’re presumptuous, she wrote. YES.
A few minutes later, he wrote again. Will you come with me to meet my dad? Tomorrow?
She froze, shocked, then quickly wrote, Of course.
It turned out, Daniel had called his father after being unable to get Alma’s question about second chances out of his mind.
After work, they picked up Elijah together and drove to a nearby park where they’d meet Dan, Daniel’s father, who had flown in that afternoon.
