Marriage by Proxy

by Combs, Sasha

  As the evening dragged on Carolyn could not recover from the mind altering kiss that Misha had planted on her receptive lips. She tried to talk about their living arrangements as she showed him around her condo. But even this task proved to be difficult. Carolyn felt crowded by Misha’s penetrating gaze. Not only was she stumbling over her words but she’d bumped into a wall or two as she tried to guide him through her home. She had been in uncomfortable situations before and had the fortitude to navigate through just fine. But Carolyn was completely unprepared to deal with the obvious attraction that seemed to be between them. As she tried to remain focused she gave him a set of spare house keys and her security alarm system codes. She had surmised that after the 365 days she could easily have her locks changed as well as her security codes; she saw this gesture as a token or symbol of common courtesy. Misha had sensed her unsteadiness as they toured the condo. It was not his intention to make her feel uncomfortable but he found it difficult not locking his eyes upon her. After Carolyn showed Misha the guest room that he’d occupy he suggested that they call it a night. Misha didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to refrain himself from kissing her again, so he used his on-call status as his excuse. The hospital normally required the doctors in the anesthesiology department to do one 24 hour in-house hospital on-call duty twice a month. It would be Misha’s turn the following day but he’d also consented to do half of a call for another physician which would cause him to remain on site for 36 hours. This time could be uneventful at best or worse case scenario, full of surgeries and multiple procedures. Even though he would have loved spending more time with Carolyn he did need to get his rest; so the use of his on-call status, flimsily yet factual, would temporally remove him from his temptress wife.

  When Carolyn retreated to her room she sunk into her bed and breathed a long sigh of relief. Her mind whirled as she recalled Misha’s muscular body build, his perfect smile, his deep blue eyes, and his masculine cologne. His scent still lingered in her nose. She couldn’t think straight. As she tried to recall their conversation prior to him retiring to his room she drew a complete blank. Carolyn recalled his mouth moving and words coming out but she couldn’t recall a single word that he’d said. She had been held captive by his presence as her mind visualized mental imagines of what it would be like to be lip locked or better yet skin to skin. She’d realized that she didn’t know what he did for a living, what his daily schedule was or why he’d be gone for a day and a half. At best she did recall a few words or two but not enough to come to any conclusions. Carolyn ran her fingers through her hair as she thought what’s wrong with you girl, how could you miss his entire conversation? What were you doing, day dreaming? Then she answered her own question. She was daydreaming; as she looked at his mouth she was reminded of the tasty kiss and his soft yet masculine touch. Then she imagined what his hands would feel like wrapped around her waist. Then her thoughts lingered in the bedroom as she formed a mental picture of how they’d explore each others body and discover the spots that lead to ecstasy. She giggled as she recounted her daydreams but was unable to recall his conversation. She thought well there will be plenty of time to find out what he does for a living and fill in all of the gaps from that conversation; 364 days and counting.

  Misha lay in the guest bedroom thinking about Carolyn. He’d come prepared with an overnight bag, due to his 36 hours on-call status. As he lay awake he thought to himself that the timing of this on-call couldn’t have come at a worse time but he also saw a silver lining in the situation. Dr. Richard Bond’s wife had just delivered their first baby. His mother-in-law would be coming to stay with them, but he’d need to pick her up from the airport. Misha had volunteered to fill in for him until he was able to get to the hospital, which resulted in him taking half of his call. Richard also had a hunting cabin two hours outside of Auburn Hills. Misha knew that Richard would gladly allow him to use the cabin in return as a favor for a favor. Misha knew that he and Carolyn needed neutral territory if they were ever to get pass this awkwardness that seem to block their inevitable union and the cabin was the perfect place. It was seclude with no telephone and miles from any major highways or other lodging. Smiling, he closed his eyes as he drifted off to sleep realizing that the cabin would most likely provide the atmosphere which could lead to the beginning of their mutual exchange in wedded bliss.

  Chapter Four

  Give and Take

  Carolyn welcomed the countless interruptions, mind boggling queries, and endless dueling bouts with her insatiable clients. She didn’t want to think about her situation, marriage or Misha. She had tried to call Alexandra over the past day and a half with no success. It was as if her friend had literally fallen off the face of the earth. This was unlike Alexandra not to return calls, so Carolyn’s concern was beyond simple curiosity; she was genuinely worried. Her thoughts were interrupted by Estelle as she stuck her head into her office.

  “You have a call on line one.” Then she sashayed down the hall singing some silly upbeat tune. Carolyn rolled her eyes as she recalled the contrast in Estelle’s behavior prior to her marriage. Even though Estelle’s undeniable euphoria gave Carolyn a sense of joy, there were times she’d reminisce and recall her melancholy. Estelle was sad, but at least she was quiet. Looking at the blinking light on her phone, Carolyn grabbed a note pad and pen then answered the call.

  “Carolyn Lester, may I help you?”

  “Hello Carolyn, this is Misha.”

  As her ears wrapped around the lusty Russian accent catapulting her forward; Carolyn was propelled back into her reality. Taking a deep breath, she sunk back into her oversized leather chair. Her heart began to race rapidly as it shunted blood from her head to her toes. She’d never imagined his voice having the power to flood her body with warm sensations over every womanly center.

  “Carolyn, are you still there?”

  Summoning up the strength to respond, she cleared her throat.

  “Yes, I’m still here. I’m sorry; I wasn’t expecting your call.”

  “I told you I’d call you after I finished my shift.”

  She couldn’t recall. As a matter of fact her memory had completely failed her regarding their last conversation. So she decided to play dumb. “Oh you did? I completely forgot.” Misha had noticed Carolyn as her eyes appeared to be glazed over, when they last spoke. He wasn’t sure if she’d heard everything he’d told her, and this slip on her part confirmed his suspicions.

  “No matter; I wanted to know if you’d be able to clear your schedule for a three day weekend.”

  Eyebrows furrowed, Carolyn looked into thin air as she tried to figure out the purpose behind his request.

  “Well, I usually leave my weekends free. I generally use the time to do something for myself or just do nothing.”

  “Well I’d like you to use the time to do something for yourself and nothing at the same time.”

  Now, completely baffled, Carolyn had a few questions of her own.

  “You have me at a disadvantage. You clearly know what you’re talking about and I obviously don’t have a clue. So could you please clear this up by simply telling me why I should clear my schedule for a three day weekend?”

  Misha filled the receiver with a heartfelt laugh. Carolyn thought that even his laugh outwardly had a stimulating affect on her.

  “I’m not trying to be mysterious Carolyn. I know that we both need to be a little more at ease with each other and I don’t believe we’ll be able to achieve that at either of our homes. So I’ve secured a lovely cabin for us to spend the weekend. It’s neutral territory which should allow us to relax; making things a little less difficult. It should lessen the tension.”

  Carolyn remained quiet. His reasoning sounded logical which meant he’d obviously spent some time thinking about their situation. She had thought that by requesting their first meeting to be at her home it’d place her in the offensive position but instead she was off centered and defensive. Again, her silence was interrupted by
his coaxing voice.

  “Does this sound agreeable to you?” Carolyn had so many unanswered questions and she couldn’t afford another communications catastrophe. The reasoning was sound and if her past served as a barometer, she’d always heeded the rationality of sound reasonable conclusions.

  “I believe I can clear my schedule; so I don’t have a problem with your suggestion.”

  “Good; can you be ready this evening by 6:00 PM? I can pick you up after I stop by my townhouse to pick up a few things.”

  “That sounds fine.”

  “Great; I’ll see you at 6:00 PM.” As she hung up the phone, Carolyn noted the excitement in Misha’s voice. He was really putting forth the effort to make their marriage work. As she gazed down on her left hand, she agonized over her decision not to wear his ring. She didn’t want to answer the numerous questions that the large diamond would most assuredly conjure up. Carolyn couldn’t recall any of the details from their last conversation but she most certainly could recall his constant staring and visual examinations. Misha obviously liked what he was seeing and he was not trying to hide his approval. Carolyn began to recollect her own libido and how his mere presence had sent it into overdrive. There was something there; something between them that fit. Alexandra obliviously realized that; which is the reason she’d matched them in the first place. Carolyn’s thoughts returned to her clandestine friend. She had been thinking about her before being interrupted by Misha’s call. As she picked up her phone she attempted to call Alexandra for the seventh time that day.

  Misha neatly folded his clothes and placed them in his overnight bag. He’d prepared a long litany of pros and cons for his weekend cabin retreat. But Carolyn had proved to be less resistant than he’d expected. Closing up his suitcase he smiled to himself; as he concluded maybe she’s coming around a little sooner than I’d expected.

  As Carolyn packed her luggage she tried to recall the last time she had left the city for a non-work related weekend retreat. She concluded that she was long over due for some personal down-time away from client’s, work and the hustle and bustle of the city. She had deduced that a secluded cabin would provide the perfect environment for frank and honest discussion. As she walked into her home office her mind drifted to the work that she had bought home from her law firm. Her preoccupation with Alexandra and Misha caused her to fall behind in her work resulting in pending cases and files that needed to be reviewed. Neatly stacking the papers on her desk, she opened up her leather attaché case and placed them inside. She thought to herself I’ll take some work with me just in case we find out that we really don’t have much in common after all. Carolyn was the queen of Plan A – Plan B. and her attaché case filled with legal work was her Plan B.

  Misha pulled up in Carolyn’s driveway at precisely 6 pm. As he carried her luggage out to his car he noticed the attaché case sitting next to the front door. As he picked up her case he smiled and thought to himself I plan on keeping you very busy this weekend and not one of these papers will see the light of day.

  Carolyn loved taking long country rides and she couldn’t understand why she didn’t do it more often. Michigan was a flat State but it had lush beautiful landscapes with awesome picturesque views. As Misha drove he’d alternately look at the rode and Carolyn; stealing glimpses of her from the sides of his eyes.

  “So Carolyn, how was work today?”

  “Nothing unusual; a normal day.” She hated questions like that. Most people asked how was your day, but they really weren’t truly interested. Their attention would usually stray immediately after the question would leave their mouth. It was an ice breaker type of question. But Misha seemed as if he genuinely wanted to know.

  “I’d imagined a profession such as yours to be filled with excitement in one form or another. You know; difficult clients, unrealistic expectations, interpretation of the law but maybe I’ve watched just one to many episodes of Law and Order.”

  Carolyn surmised he hadn’t. He was right. Law was exciting and the excitement that she derived from it each day was tantamount to the mind blowing runner’s adrenaline rush. She loved it. But she was making it sound like it was a hum, drum career.

  “Well to be perfectly honest with you, I did have a rather challenging day. I have a few new clients that will have me sifting through cases in the law library for at least a week.” The thought of this excited her and Misha could tell as well because Carolyn’s face beamed with a smile that spoke volumes about her love for the Law.

  “Did you ever imagine anything other than practicing Law as a profession?”

  “No, I couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else.” Carolyn was talking about her favorite subject. She repositioned her body in the BMW to face Misha as much as her seat belt would allow.

  “My father was a judge and my fondest memories are of him and the many cases that he’d preside over. Many of my parent’s dinner conversations were filled with lengthy explanations of the law. I was young and I really didn’t fully understand at the time but what I did understand fascinated me. I always wanted to be like my dad.” Her eyes dropped as she looked down into her empty hands.

  “Are your parents still alive?”

  “No, they were killed in a train accident. My parent’s were coming home from a fundraiser. The warning lights were flashing indicating that a train was approaching so my dad stopped within a safe distance from the train tracks.” Her eyes began to fill with tears as she recalled the story. She was eleven years old and she could still vividly remember being awakened by her aunt Claire as she delivered the bad news.

  “A drunk driver came from behind and slammed my father’s car onto the track. The engineer said that he couldn’t stop. My parent’s were killed instantly.” Wiping a tear from her eye she repositioned in her seat to look out of the passenger window.

  “I did the next best thing I could do for my life. I became a lawyer to honor my father’s legacy. He always wanted me to go to law school and my aunt saw to that.”

  “Did your aunt raise you after your mother and father died?”

  “Well, she didn’t have any children of her own and she wasn’t really prepared to take on the role of a parent. So I guess she did the best that she could. After I graduated from high school and went to college, I pretty much was on my own. I always had great guidance counselors or instructors that recognized my potential; so my education always stayed on course. The insurance money from the accident, the lawsuit and my trust fund, ensured that I could get the best education that money could afford; and that just what I did.” Reviewing her accomplishments with high regard, she regained her composure and repositioned herself again to face Misha.

  “So you see Misha, I am a self made women. I went after what I wanted and I seized the day.”

  “I know it must have been hard living without your parents but the tragedy did provide a means for you to complete your education and create a very successful life.”

  “Yes it did but the price was too high. Now it seems that I’m faced with another venture that may have a price that I’m unwilling to pay. Now my next question is how this little venture between us is going to impact my life? Should I allow it to take hold and grow or should I uproot it as if it were a malignant cancer?” Misha knew that this was his cue to try and defend their marriage but he wasn’t willing to fall for that ploy. Carolyn was an attorney and she wasn’t looking for answers to her questions; she was trying to determine how Misha felt regarding their union. He wasn’t ready to reveal his inner most thoughts yet. He wanted her to discover her feelings first and then together they could come to some conclusions regarding their relationship.

  “Anything worth having is worth working for. So the question you should be asking yourself is not whether you should destroy something before it has a chance to grow but instead ask are you prepared to embrace something fresh and new into your life. Do you want something that will not simply compliment you but instead become a part of you? Are you willing to lay down yo
ur skepticism and realize that something larger than yourself can actually bring complete and total joy into your life and doesn’t have to be dissected or analyze? Those are the important questions Carolyn. ”

  “I don’t know how not to be a skeptic. It is who I am.”

  “This weekend I’d like you for just one moment to step outside of your profession and embrace who you really are.” Carolyn frowned; his request sounded like some mystical guru magic crap.

  Misha continued “Haven’t you ever got in touch with the real Carolyn; the Carolyn that doesn’t eat, sleep and drink law?”

  “No I haven’t. My Profession defines me.”

  Misha smiled as he concentrated on the narrow two lane rode.

  “No Carolyn your profession doesn’t define you; inside there is a little voice that fights with your reasoning. It challenges you to go contrary to what you believe to be right. That little voice is the real Carolyn. It is that Carolyn that needs to decide whether this is something she wants in her life, or if she’s willing to throw a good thing to the wind.” Misha could tell that he’d just given Carolyn food for thought. He watched as she digested his words as if they were from some great philosopher like Plato. As Misha approached his turn at the narrow back road he looked over at Carolyn an interrupted her thoughts.