The Orthogonal Galaxy

by Michael L. Lewis

  “While we sat there enjoyin’ the shimmerin’ lights, we were treated to a light show of even more impressive caliber. The Aurora Borealis—wow! I was awe struck at the curtains of yellow, green and electric blue that waved ‘cross the sky. It was mesmerizin’, and at some point durin’ the light show, I drifted off to sleep, and I done slept better that night than any while I was in the Arctic, I’ll tell ya’ that much.

  “Well, to make a short story long,” Blade chuckled to himself for his inversion of the common cliché, “The next day, we marched on and arrived at the pass late in the afternoon, where the Nunamiut eskimoes was waitin’ fer us and took us in—quite hospitable they was… Well that was it—the most frightenin’ adventure of my trainin’. It took a whole heap of faith and hope to get through that.”

  The room stood still, riveted by Blade’s dramatic story-telling. All felt as if they had experienced some of it for themselves, and so they remained rooted in their seats. After a brief moment, a tentative hand raised into the air. And then another, until most were clamoring to ask the next question. With a point of his finger, Dr. Gilroy yielded to another for the next question.

  “Mr. Joonter,” beamed an eager journalist with large spectacles in the front row, “Since your colleague has shared his most concerning experience with us, how about you? Can we hear about your biggest trial?”

  “I suspect that most would assume this to be the plane crash in Nevada, and I will attest that it was my most frightening moment to that point in my mission, but there were worse. The Alaska experience that Blade shared with you was truly bothersome, but remember that we had to endure many different wilderness survival training adventures over the last few years. One very big concern with our mission is the unknown elements of Earth2, and while the highest powered telescopes have been focusing their attention on that planet for the last several years, there is still very little that we really have come to understand about the geography and climate of that planet. Besides, since we are 27000 light years away from there, the data we do have is from the very, very distant past. While scientists believe that we will be subject to very similar conditions that we have here, we don’t know if we’ll be subject to generally warmer or cooler climates, and whether we will have to face more extreme biomes than here on Earth1.

  “Because of this, we received wilderness training on the most extreme of all environments our planet has to provide us. Blade has given you one example of this by recalling the Anaktuvuk as his most harrowing adventure. I will share the Anavilhanas for mine.”

  Paol looked at his companion with a smile, and noticed the very expressive Slater grow wide-eyed at the mere mention of this word. He exhaled strongly through pursed lips while nodding in agreement with Joonter.

  “Once we had completed our tundra adventure, mission trainers sent us to the Amazon for our rain forest adventure. Leading up to the experience, we spent months studying up on the resources and dangers of that area. Our task was to parachute into a very remote area a couple of miles away from the Black River, navigate through the dense forest maze of archipelagos called the Anavilhanas with our sponge kayaks (and by densely, I’m talking as much about insects as I am about trees or the islands along the river!) and find our way down to the Amazon and on towards Manaus, nearly 50 miles away.

  “As we broke through the canopy on our way to the ground, we remained for a few minutes in the underbrush taking in the scene. Never had we anticipated such a diverse environment. Dark even at midday, we could not look up through the trees to see any portion of the sky, and while at first, we could see no life, we knew the forest was rich with hiding birds, insects, and other animals. The incessant cooing, whooping, chirping and burping made us reel, as we looked without success for the source of this orchestra of sounds.

  “Leaving our parachutes, we ventured towards the west, where we had seen the river on our way down. What at first was a minor annoyance quickly became an unbearable bane—insects! All shapes, sizes, colors. Some airborne, some under our feet, some dropped from tree branches. At one point, I quipped to Blade that there must be a million insects out here, to which he knowingly replied, ‘thirty million, Paol.’ He pointed out that it was a fact that he had discovered during his study of the region. At first, I laughed, assuming he was simply trying to lighten the situation with his trademarked humor, but once we returned home, he proved it too me in the book he had read. To this day, however, I still wonder how on earth there are so many insects in that jungle, considering the number of birds there as well. I would think that the thousands of birds we heard on our trip would’ve had to make a dent in the insect population.

  “At any rate, we did receive some respite from the insects, and I’d like to say that it was welcomed, but it was not. During several occasions, our focus on insects was diverted to predators. Shortly after reaching the Black River, we launched our kayaks along the river, and were engulfed in a maze of long thin islands that run with the current of the river. Some of these islands were just several feet wide, but miles long. Navigating through them was a chore. At first, we assumed that as long as we caught a downstream current, we would be safe, but on a couple of occasions, the channel between two islands became too narrow to navigate, and we were forced to walk our kayaks across the island to another channel on the other side.

  “Anyway, as tense and stressful as it was to walk along that river in Alaska with a wolf on the other side, this river didn’t exactly protect us from predators. Our first predator experience was preceded by a high-pitch screeching that raised the hair on the back of my neck. Looking over at the bank, I saw leaning on a branch of a tree in the river, a jaguar eying us with clearly malicious intent. I was relieved to be on the river instead of on the bank, and I thought that we were surely safe from the big cat, but much to my horror, the animal lurched and then dove headlong into the river. Seeing the thing swimming straight towards us, I nearly panicked. We couldn’t out-paddle him, for he was paddling with much more ability than we could.

  “Not knowing what to do, we had hoped that the beast couldn’t take on our kayaks, but we continued to look behind us with the cat in pursuit. Blade was just ahead of me and to the right, and I saw him look often over his left shoulder. Eventually, the thing gained on me and clawed at my kayak. I swatted at it with my paddle, but I didn’t have a good swing since the thing was directly behind me, and I dared not try to stand or pivot my body for fear of capsizing in the river, where the jaguar would certainly have the advantage over me.

  “I was so focused on the cat that I hadn’t noticed that Blade had slowed and pulled behind my foe. Likewise, the cat was so focused on me that he hadn’t noticed Blade either. Then I noticed Blade lift his paddle high over his head and bring it down on top of the jaguars head with crushing force. The cat howled in pain and instantly relinquished its grip on my kayak, sinking into the water.

  “Blade quickly pulled beside me, and the river seemed deathly quiet while we looked all around for evidence of the cat’s location. Would he spring up from the river and fly at us for our attack? After about a minute, I noticed an object slowly emerge to the surface about fifteen feet behind us. The cat glared at us, opened its mouth to reveal sharp fangs and bellowed in a manner that seemed to rattle the entire jungle. Worried that he would recover and make a fresh attack, we prepared ourselves with handguns. We weren’t eager to unload ammunition so quickly, because we still had at least three days ahead of us, but we certainly didn’t want to deal with this cat any longer. Fortunately for everyone involved, the jaguar thought better of its plan, slipped back to the shore, and disappeared into the dense vegetation.

  “As dusk settled over the river, we found a beach on one of the Anavilhanas islands and set up camp there. With all of the scares in the jungle, we did two things to survive each night. First, we lit and kept a fire burning, in the hope that nocturnal predators stayed away from light, perhaps out of fear of human populations. Second, we took turns sleeping, or at least that was
the theory. I found it very difficult to sleep at all. With the calls of nocturnal animals, and the sound of rustling brush on one side of our camp or the splashing river on the other, my attention was constantly focused on trying to gaze into the darkness to assess the source of each new sound or movement.

  “One night, while Blade was sleeping, I saw an anaconda try to sneak into camp. While throwing a rock into the sand on one side of it, I diverted its attention while rushing to the other side with my switchblade. I stabbed down with the blade clenched tightly in my fist, thrusting the blade clear through the snake about a foot below its head. I rushed away as the thing started writhing all over the place with my knife staking it to the ground. It wasn’t until the morning when I went back to reclaim my knife, and I had noticed the snake, and my knife missing. After a search of the surrounding area, we found the dead snake draped over the branch of a tree with my blade still lodged tightly in its neck. It took some exertion to reclaim my weapon, but I was not about to leave it behind. I figured I might need it again, and again before this was all over.

  “As we were preparing to launch our kayaks for what should have been our final morning, a black caiman shot out of the water from underneath my kayak. This thing was frightening beyond all belief. With the body of an anaconda and the head of an alligator, I was completely unprepared for this attack. Quickly, the thing latched onto my arm with powerful jaws and sharp teeth. I dropped to my knees in pain. My arm burned as teeth bore down to bone. Thanks to Blade’s quick acting, I was spared from certain amputation, as he got behind the monster and stabbed him with his switchblade. Turning to deal with this new threat, it dropped to the ground and slithered aggressively towards Blade. With one shot of his gun, Blade ended the threat as quickly as it began with an efficient shot between the eyes. The last thing I remembered was looking up to see Blade’s horror-filled expression, a bloodied blade in one hand, and a smoking handgun in the other.

  “Blade quickly dressed my wound, wrapping a towel tightly around my arm to stop the bleeding, but the damage was significant, and I figured I would not be able to use it to continue paddling down the river. With some thick vines and other materials that we had available in our packs, Blade fastened a makeshift tow-line between the kayaks, and tugged me down the river slowly. That day, we didn’t make it to our destination as we had expected, so we camped one more night. I was finally able to get some sleep, but was awakened by a call and nudge from Blade. Gaining my senses, I noticed that Blade had just whacked my good arm with a long stick he had in his hand. And then I saw him thrashing at the ground with the same stick. I looked down at the ground and noticed that with each jab at the earth, Blade’s stick was driving a bright blue frog back into the jungle. Here while we had dealt with predators of such a large scale, we were completely unprepared to deal with such a little menace as was the poison dart frog that Blade had discovered climbing up my arm.

  “The next morning, Blade knew he had to get me to Manaus for medical attention. If the damage done by the caiman wouldn’t start a threatening infection in my right arm, the growing deep purple spot on my left arm left from the toxic secretions of the frog would do me in.

  “So, while I was completely helpless, here was my partner, paddling with all of his strength to get us downstream as quickly as possible with my dead weight dragging behind. Well, fortunately for me, as you know today, my partner did deliver me to Manaus quickly, where I was attended to, and then rushed by air back to the States for continued attention and recovery on not one, but two badly damaged arms.”

  “So, clearly, I have to say that if we do land in some harsh environment on Earth2, I’ll take Alaska over the Amazon any day.”

  The astronauts continued to be probed on their training experiences for about thirty minutes. Questioning varied widely from light-hearted to optimistic, to skeptical, and occasionally downright angry. The nation, and indeed much of the world had formed vastly polarized opinions of the mission, and that became all too apparent, when the professor of astronomy was drilled by an antagonist reporter.

  “Professor Zimmer,” called out one reporter, as a corner of Zimmer’s mouth turned downward almost imperceptibly in recognition of the tone with which his name was called.

  Zimmer’s eyes quickly located the reporter, standing tall over the seated crowd. His forehead was wrinkled as his brow reached for a receding hairline. Salt and pepper hair coupled with thick inquisitive glasses indicated that this was a seasoned veteran, and Zimmer thought he recognized the individual from one of his many press conferences over the years.

  The reporter introduced himself as “Cartier Landry, of the NPC.”

  Zimmer managed a cordial smile, as he thought to himself, “Ah, yes... how could I forget Mr. Landry of the National Press Corps. Wasn’t it just two, maybe three years ago, when we butted heads over the parallel Earth. What was the word? Preposterous? Ridiculous? I would’ve thought that I’d convincingly won that battle now that Earth2 has been discovered. And yet here he is.”

  “Yes, Mr. Landry. Go ahead,” Zimmer was pleasant in outward appearance, but was preparing for verbal fisticuffs inside.

  “Pundits, statisticians, and actuaries all over the world have placed their odds on this mission, and yet NASA has not come out with any official statement against these individuals. Nor has NASA released any mission prognosis themselves.” Landry paused, to shoot a brief glance over to Dr. Gilroy turning his eyes only, not wanting to waste precious energy on moving neck or body muscles to physically turn towards the mission manager. “I understand that NASA will maintain a veil of secrecy over what is really being said about the prospects of this mission, but you,” his eyes now shifted back to Zimmer, as a condescending smile formed on his face in at attempt to goad the astrophysicist into saying something newsworthy. “You, professor, are not accountable to that organization. Are you willing once and for all to state your gut feel as to the success of this mission? What odds would you ascribe in light of what the world is saying.”

  “Mr. Landry, it would be rash and imprudent of me to give you a number that would indicate my personal belief on the prospects of the mission.

  “Assume with me that I give you a number, any number. If I give you a number that is less than 50%, and the mission fails, then it looks like I called it. If I give you a number greater than 50% and the mission succeeds, likewise, I must’ve known what I was talking about. If I give you exactly 50%, you will complain that I’m not courageous enough to take a stand on the matter. Let’s say, I believe the mission will succeed. Why would I give you any number other than 51%? If I say 80% or 90%, don’t I get just as much credit for calling it right as I do for saying 51%? Further, 51% is a safer number if the mission should fail, because then my reputation has some leeway for having some doubt in its success. So, I am unwilling to give you a number.

  “To be honest with you, however, this is a mission without precedent. We have never attempted anything like this in the history of man. We have invited experts from professional astronomical and cosmological organizations the world around to brainstorm, troubleshoot, and review critical mission data. We have given this mission every level of success, but there is no empirical data from which any statistician could reasonable ascribe odds to its success. They can make guesses about how reliable specific mission components may be, but these are just that—guesses. And when you add guesses to guesses, you get nothing but numbers from this community of experts between 0% and 100% which are just that—guesses.

  “Now, I know that this answer isn’t going to satisfy you or your readers, so let me tell you a little about what I believe to be true. I believe that this mission can succeed. If it does succeed, we will have gained priceless scientific, cultural, and sociological knowledge. We will learn more about the universe that we live in certainly more than any other mission in our history. And isn’t that something we can all agree on? Don’t we all desire to better understand this universe in which we live. I truly believe that we do
, and that I have attempted to dedicate my life’s work to this cause.”

  After Landry studied a set of facts on the clipboard he was holding, he continued. “Professor, my data indicates that this mission will have spent at least $230 billion conservatively. Can you say that the gain will compensate the discretionary loss of so much money?”

  “First, Mr. Landry, I wouldn’t use the word loss, but rather investment. Second, I think I already answered that question with the word ‘priceless’. You really can’t put a price tag on learning, since knowledge isn’t purchased or sold—it is earned. That said, we have invested billions, and if the mission fails, then if nothing else, we will learn from those losses, and then take another stab at it. I will agree with you, Mr. Landry that money can be used to purchase goods and services that we need as individuals, but does money really mean anything in the grand purpose of the universe? I am no philosopher, but my guess is that we will not take any of our money with us when we depart this life. I do, however, strongly believe that as we depart, any intelligence that we have obtained and shared will be left to the inheritance of our children. They will benefit much more from our knowledge than they will our money.”

  Landry refused to back down, and grew impatient with Zimmer. “Yes or no, Professor. Do you believe that this mission can fail?”

  “Absolutely, there is chance for failure, but as I’ve stated, I believe there is a chance for success. What we gain from the success is priceless—I repeat—priceless. What we lose is money. But let’s not forget that with every failed mission in life, comes learning in and of itself. And that learning can be applied to increase the odds of success the next time around.”

  “Professor!” barked the irascible reporter. “We would lose more than money. We lose two exceptional men. Does their lives not count for anything to you?”