Brain

by Candace Blevins

  I took her boots and socks off, sat back, and gave her a foot massage. I’d originally thought I’d take the opportunity to seduce her, but she was sloppy drunk, not just tipsy, and it felt wrong to take advantage. I have nothing against fucking women who’ve let themselves get to this point, but… not Ice. Not my Buttercup.

  She slouched lower and lower in the chair, and I finally picked her up and moved her to the sofa. I sat on the other end, propped her feet in my lap, and kept up with the foot massage.

  “Couple things you need to know before we fuck,” she said, her voice slurred, her tone mellow.

  Instead of informing her it wasn’t going to happen tonight, I said, “Okay. What’s the first thing?”

  “I don’t do missionary, and not a fan of doggie. I’m on top. I ride you.”

  I wasn’t sure it was even possible for me to orgasm with the girl on top. My wolf needed to dominate, to overwhelm, to fuck someone into the ground. Now wasn’t the time to argue, though, so without agreeing to her terms, I asked, “What else?”

  “You saw my piercing, before. Thanks for not asking. Need you to keep not asking, and don’t look, and don’t undo it, and don’t try to mess with my clit. I’ll take care of my own orgasms, thank-you-very-much. Just need your cock to stand up long enough I can get m’self off.”

  I’d never be able to trick sober-Ice into telling me something she didn’t want me to know, and there was a good chance I couldn’t trick drunk-Ice, either, but it was worth a try.

  “What am I supposed to not look at?”

  “What’s under the piercing.”

  “I assume your clit is under it, based on my memory of the location, though I tried to give you your privacy and not look too close.”

  “Congratulations. You know female anatomy. Now keep the fuck away from it.”

  I opted to let it go, for now, and asked, “You’re always on top?”

  Her face grew serious, her words still slurred, but not as bad. “Yes. Always on top. No ‘ceptions.”

  No way around it, we’d need to talk — with her sober — before we had sex.

  Almost as if she’d read my mind she sat up, crawled across the sofa, and into my lap with her legs straddling me. She pressed herself into my cock, which wasn’t rock hard, but wasn’t exactly soft either.

  She groaned as she ground on me, her eyes closed and her face the picture of bliss. I let her twist and pivot on my lap a few minutes, watching her face and her lithe body as it moved, and then I pulled her to me, brought her lips to mine, and gave her the kind of kiss I’d wanted to lay on her for fucking months.

  Even with her in my lap, her head wasn’t higher than mine, and I pillaged her mouth, let her know she may be on top, but it was only because I was allowing it, for the time being. She let me kiss her, take her mouth, for a handful of seconds, and then her scent went bitter and acrid again, and she froze.

  I pulled back to see a vacant look in her eyes, and touched her cheek as I said, “Ice? Destiny? Buttercup? Come back to me. You’re safe. We’re just foolin’ around.”

  I kept talking, kept reassuring, and thirty seconds later her eyes finally focused on me again, and I held her enough to be sure she didn’t fall as she leapt backwards off my lap, but not enough to restrain her. The stench of terror filled the room, and her heartbeat was as rapid as I’d ever heard a humans.

  “You need to go,” she said, her words no longer slurred.

  I shook my head. “No, I need to stick around and keep you safe. No more kissing until we talk about what just happened, though. Do you need something? Coke, or coffee, or something to eat?”

  “Yeah, Coke and salty fries would be good. Can you order me some from room service?” She’d gone from sloppy drunk to sober from the effect of my kiss. It wasn’t a panic attack, exactly, but I’d bet money it was some form of PTSD. She’d been gone, no longer here, and her body had burned away the alcohol while she was gone.

  I placed the order, and had a rare burger sent up for me while I was at it. My wolf wanted to tear apart whoever had hurt our Buttercup, but all I could give him was rare meat, right now.

  “Any security precaution on the room I should know about?”

  She shook her head. “The phone’ll ring twice and stop if the hotel makes another key card for the room, but their system isn’t capable of letting me know if someone uses a key card. Doesn’t matter, since you don’t need one for the elevator, though.”

  “The auction house doesn’t know this identity?”

  “No. Just the one I gave them, and she’s staying in the penthouse of another hotel. I’ve gone in and out enough to look like I’m staying there, and I have trips and cams set up, so I know if anyone tries to get in there, or actually gets in.”

  “Smart. As far as I know, they can be trusted, but I like knowing you’re still careful, still taking precautions.”

  “The Russians and NSA lost the threads leading to me years ago, but there’s always the chance something will trigger somewhere, point them at me. Surfacing to do this deal was a risk, as is evidenced by you finding me.”

  “Only because I knew you’d eventually bid on an identity. I hacked into their servers months ago, and then investigated every person who bid on someone I thought you might be interested in, until I found you. No one else knew to look for you in this venue.”

  I was still on the sofa, but she was sitting in an upholstered chair, now. She was on edge, hyped up, but trying to appear relaxed. “Why spend so much time and attention finding me again?”

  “You’re under my skin. I want to know you better, want to spend time with you. Nothing else, Buttercup. Been a long time since I found a woman I could hold a conversation with and not want to put a ball-gag in her mouth.”

  She grinned, but it didn’t go to her eyes.

  When our food arrived, she sobered even more as she ate. My kissing her had acted as a cold shower, but neither of us brought it up.

  She was obviously sleepy as she finished her meal, and I asked, “I slept with you once before and kept my hands to myself. Do you trust me to take care of you close up, or would you rather I took the sofa?”

  “I’m sober, you don’t have to stay.”

  “And yet, I told you I would, so I will. Tell me where you want me.”

  “If you’re gonna be stubborn, I’ll take the sofa. You’re too big for it.”

  I shook my head. “No. I want to be between you and the door. You’ll be in your bed, the only question is where I’ll be.”

  She threw her arms up and headed towards the bedroom. “Fine, ass-hat. Whatever. You keep your shorts on, and don’t come in until I give the all clear. I’m gonna change.”

  Was she saying she trusted me to sleep in the bed with her, and not push it?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ice

  Brain wasn’t the kind of guy to let my panic attack go with stupid explanations. First, he was too smart, and second, he was too damned nosy.

  The truth was, I knew he’d take care of me, and I liked the idea of going to sleep and letting him keep an eye on me. I hadn’t slept soundly since I’d arrived in Atlanta.

  And he’d held me close in my sleep before, and even though I’d wanted to hate it… he’d gotten under my skin, too.

  So now, I put on some loose black shorts and a black tee, and slid between the sheets.

  Brain came in a few minutes later, put his gun, keys, and wallet on the bedside table, took his jeans off, and slid into bed behind me.

  I didn’t look at him, didn’t need to see him without his pants on. The boxer briefs had practically made me drool before, and we weren’t having sex tonight so I didn’t need to start lusting after him.

  I was tired, but within a few minutes I realized sleep wasn’t going to happen right away, and I resituated the pillow, closed my eyes, and tried to empty my mind.

  “What did the Russians do to you?”

  His voice was a soft request, not a demand, and my eyes watered bef
ore I could process an answer. “It’s in the past. Doesn’t matter.”

  “When you freeze after I kiss you? It matters.”

  “Then don’t kiss me again.” Not like that, anyway.

  “You said you’d had relationships. Did you not kiss them?”

  “Yeah. Exactly. I kissed them, not the other way around.” He didn’t say anything, and I squeezed my eyes shut and took a centering breath to try to get a handle on my emotions. “You said you’d go away if we weren’t compatible. I’m pretty sure this proves we aren’t.”

  “No. It proves you haven’t dealt with your baggage.”

  I didn’t respond, and five minutes later he asked, “Are the men who hurt you dead?”

  “No. I had to kill a few during my escape, but I’m sure at least most of the rest are still alive. It’s a rough life, some are bound to have died, but I haven’t kept close track of most of them. Like I said, ancient history.”

  “And keeping tabs on them might put you at risk of being found, because they’re the kind of guys who want to know who’s looking into them.”

  I shook my head, but admitted, “Yeah.”

  His hand touched my shoulder, caressed my arm, and I felt the loss of him as he withdrew it. I didn’t have the nerve to tell him it was okay, much less to ask him to touch me again.

  I took a breath and said, “Because you’ll find out eventually, I’ll tell you they cut my clit hood off, and that’s why I have a piercing holding my labia together — to protect it. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t intend to tell you the other things they did to me. I just want you to leave it the hell alone.”

  “Thanks for telling me. I don’t know if you need to be held, but I need to hold you. Would that be okay?”

  * * * *

  Brain

  She shocked me by turning towards me and snuggling into me. My arms went around her, gentle at first, worried she’d freak out again if I held her tight, but as my arms went firm around her, she relaxed into me even more.

  God, she trusted me.

  Someone had hurt her, likely tortured her for days or possibly weeks, and then I’d captured her and held her captive… and she still trusted me.

  If Duke had been in the room, I’d have punched him in the face again. My wolf wholeheartedly agreed. We wanted to find everyone who’d ever hurt her and rend them into a million pieces.

  I was awake long after her breathing told me she was asleep. This called for a new game plan, another way to bring her to me, to make her mine.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Ice

  I awoke in Brain’s arms, snuggled in as if I belonged there. I’d fallen asleep with my face towards his chest, but now my back was to his front, his arms around me. I should’ve felt trapped, but I felt safe. As if I was finally where I belonged.

  But I didn’t belong in anyone’s arms, and never would.

  If I could find someone of Brain’s caliber to hire as a bodyguard, to take care of me for the paycheck, but somehow instill enough loyalty so I knew they could be trusted… but that was a pipe dream.

  I’d taken care of myself for years, and I would continue to do so. Perhaps it would work to give myself a few days of having Brain around, but he’d soon find out how fucked up I am, and I’d be on my own again.

  My IQ puts me in the top one percent of the planet, and I’d venture to say Brain is in the same league. I’d dated a few people nearly as smart as me in college, but Brain was just as smart, and possibly even smarter in some areas. I couldn’t lie to him, and couldn’t divert his attention when he asked questions I’d rather not answer, which made having him around impossible if I intended to keep my secrets.

  I needed men around me I could control, men who’d do as they were told… No. I needed men who wanted me to tell them what to do.

  But fuck, it felt so good to let Brain hold me and take care of me.

  Goose bumps erupted on my entire body as his lips brushed the spot where my shoulder and neck join. He kissed up to my ear, back down my neck. Lazy, slow, as if he intended to do this all day, and nothing else.

  I tensed at first, but then relaxed into it and let him work my body. As always, painful memories surfaced when blood surged into my clit, but I brushed them to the side, intent on relishing my time with Brain.

  He caressed my arm, then skated his hand to the top of my hip, over my shorts. I took a breath and concentrated on his mouth at my throat, and everything was fine until his other hand went through my hair, and my body froze as my heart beat against my rib cage and adrenaline flooded my system. I still had my wits about me, though barely, and I tried to make light of it as I rolled forward and away from him.

  “I’m just growing my hair out so I’ll look more like Harmony, trying to become her. Might not work out, though.”

  “I need to know everything they did to you, so I know what to avoid.”

  I shook my head and rolled out of bed. “No, you don’t.”

  When I came out of the bathroom he was on the phone, ordering waffles, eggs, bacon, biscuits, gravy, fresh fruit, and a few other things.

  “I’m starved, you can eat what you want of it, and I’ll finish off the rest. You slept good?”

  Thankful he wasn’t pushing the other conversation, I nodded, but instead of asking how he slept, I told him, “I’m meeting Harmony at one today. I can stay here another hour, but then I need to go. I’ll need to sneak into the other hotel, put fingernail polish on and girlify my hair, change into different clothes.”

  “Where are you meeting her?”

  “I’m picking her up from a doctor’s appointment and taking her out to eat. She’s leaving for her bucket list trip in four days. Tomorrow, she’ll oversee the movers packing her things and taking them to her new, secluded house on the outskirts of Marietta. Since I’ll be taking over her car and driver’s license, staying in the same county makes it simpler in the short run. She’ll get the utilities and such turned on at the house before she goes, and there are no neighbors close enough to see either of us. The day after she leaves, I go in for surgery, and then I’ll have a nurse staying with me at the house while I recover.”

  I shrugged. “For all intents and purposes, I become her in a few days, though I can’t move anywhere that’ll involve a picture ID for a few months — enough time for me to have lost weight since I was last seen. Her car is listed as blue on the title, and while I’m in surgery, the dings will be fixed, and the bright-assed blue will be painted over with powder blue, so people won’t recognize her car. I’ll use cash for groceries and stuff, so I don’t chance using one of her credit cards and having someone know I’m not her. But, since she shopped a lot on her cards, I’ll use them to keep buying stuff online, and at gas stations, so the activity doesn’t drastically change.”

  Why was I telling him all of this? I shook my head and went back to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

  He followed me in, leaned against the door, and watched.

  I ignored him, but when I finished, he said, “I’ll stay away during the day, so the original Harmony doesn’t see me, but you’ll stay with me at night until you move into the new house. My hotel will be safer than this one, for both of us.” He had a point, but I wasn’t ready to agree to it. Before I could say anything, he added, “Once Harmony’s gone, I’m with you. I’ll take you to wherever the surgery is happening, stay with you until they send you home, and help the nurse take care of you while you recuperate. I’ll dress so I match however you’re dressing, and I have an older model BMW I can drive to keep from drawing attention to us, like my bike will.”

  I shook my head. This was too much. All I could come up with to say, though, was, “You aren’t part of the plan, Brain.”

  “I wasn’t, now I am. We’ll brainstorm, make sure I don’t open any loopholes, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Brain

  I checked out of my hotel and into another, as I didn’t want my Buttercu
p to know I’d been able to see into her room from mine. I got the penthouse, dressed in socially acceptable clothes, and swapped out my bike for the BMW. We were both going to be incognito for a few months, and as much as I’d miss my bike, having Ice in my life was more important. People remembered a roaring Harley, and it was important she manage to be as invisible as possible for a few months. I couldn’t do anything to draw attention to her.

  I’d brought her luggage to my suite, but I resisted the urge to look through it. I knew she’d likely done something so she could tell if I’d snooped, and I was trying to gain her trust.

  A trip to the liquor store netted me the ingredients for Long Island Iced Tea, and I procured fancy bar glasses, a beautiful shaker, and some shot glasses at a high-dollar kitchen supply store. The suite had a full-sized fridge with a freezer, so I also bought a bag of ice, just in case. I talked to room service, planned our meal, and the snacks for later, and worked it out so they’d start bringing snacks two hours after they delivered dinner.

  Tonight, I was going to woo her with food, drink, flirting, and intelligent conversation. Tomorrow, she was going to tell me what the bastards had done to her.

  * * * *

  Ice

  Harmony was pathetic — and not just because she happened to be dying.

  I’d come close enough to death, or rather, wanting to die, and being certain I would, soon, to have to evaluate my life. Not just my life, but life in general, and what it meant. It’d changed me, made me grow up in a way I don’t think most adults do until they’re middle aged. Or, in some cases, even older.

  But Harmony didn’t appear to be smart enough for the insight I’d assumed most people gained when faced with the end of their life. For her, nineteen thousand dollars was nineteen million dollars — so much money she thought it would last forever. She had no idea how fast she was going to go through it.