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Mountain Man's Accidental Baby Daughter (A Mountain Man's Baby Romance)

Page 69

by Lia Lee


  ***

  Gerard cheered Trent on as Hartford watched from the window. She was torn between letting them have all this bonding time together, or keeping Trent away just so he could transition back to his old life without wondering where Gerard went.

  Today, Trent was gripping a too-big golf stick while he tried to hit the ball. He missed at least ten times, and every time, Gerard patiently encouraged him to try again.

  With Hartford’s work responsibilities and her hectic schedule with her studies, she could only dream of giving Trent all this time and attention. She tried her best, but every single day was a struggle. She was uneasy admitting it, but she’d never played with Trent that way. She’d simply never had the time.

  After a while, the father-son duo switched to soccer. She was impressed with Gerard’s stamina for entertaining a toddler. As they kicked the ball around and Gerard pretended to trip over the ball, Trent laughed so hard and so gleefully that he fell over. Hartford giggled and warmed as she watched. Gerard pushed his hands beneath Trent’s arms and set him on his feet again, laughing with Trent.

  She considered going back to work, but it seemed impossible to tear herself away from the sight. How could she bail on such an entertaining show just outside her window?

  She bit her lip and thought for a while, then walked down the stairs and outside. She couldn’t resist. “What are you boys doing?”

  “We’re playing soccer, Mommy. You can’t play.”

  Gerard chuckled and Hartford pretended to be hurt. “Why can’t I play?”

  “You don’t know how. You’re a doctor.”

  Hartford eyed Gerard suspiciously, and he shrugged. “He came up with that by himself, I swear,” he exclaimed with a laugh.

  “I can try, or you could teach me.”

  Luckily, Trent conceded and allowed his mother to join in the games. Hartford played with them for half an hour, winded by the time they turned to the house. She eyed Gerard’s leg, biting back the urge to remind him about his recovering knee. She didn’t want to be the party pooper.

  “Don’t you think you’re getting a little too excited? Your knee still has some healing to do.”

  “I’m feeling great. There’s absolutely no pain.”

  Hartford narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious.

  “No, I’m not kidding. I feel as good as new. Trent is really good with balls. He loved playing outdoors, and honestly, I’m feeling excited about the games more too. It had lost its appeal for a while there, but now I’m back on track. His talents are so exciting.”

  Hartford stayed silent as her heart hammered with longing. She wished he’d go back to being the same aloof, nonexistent man around Trent. When he played with Trent, he played with her heartstrings.

  “You know what, Hartford, I might just have a successor in the field. Imagine, the same name on his jersey. It’s going to be awesome.”

  Hartford swallowed the bile rising in her throat. Gerard’s eyes were gleaming. She hated doing it, but she had some bad news to break to him. “Trent’s last name isn’t Blackstone.”

  Gerard swallowed and stepped toward her. His face said it all. He was prepping himself up for risk. His impulsiveness was getting the better of him as he slid his hands along the sides of her face and didn’t pull back, even when she froze and attempted to pull back in shock. “I want my son to have my name. Please.”

  Hartford went rigid, but her navel twisted in warmth. Lust overtaking all sense, she gaped at the mouth inches from hers, his breath on her face. Her insides traitorously reached for it even though he didn’t move. Her eyes finally lifted from his chiseled lips to his eyes, and she could sense the silent lust in his expression. Then, the corners of his lips tilted up in a knowing smile.

  “Like what you see?”

  Hartford reared back instantly. He’d said that to her before, a long time ago—the night Trent was conceived. His sexy smile and his words brought back crazy, giddy memories.

  She had been happy back then. She had trusted him with all her heart. There must have been something in him that had made her feel so terribly attached and completely at ease.

  Knowing her cheeks were flaming, she didn’t have to look at Gerard to know that he was enjoying her plight. He’d seen her cheeks get flushed. He’d seen her gaping at his mouth as if she was dying for a taste of it, and she mentally kicked herself for being so obvious around him. She may have prided herself on letting go of him so abruptly and dealing with the heartache, but she was still as hooked on him as she had always been. When it came to Gerard, she was still a lovestruck teenager in high school. And her knees still knocked together at the sight of his handsome face.

  Chapter Eight

  Once again, she fought against the temptation to request Gerard to back off. Trent was laughing as Gerard shared his bowl of yogurt with him, and Hartford was stealing glances their way. Gerard didn’t know she was watching. Lately, she’d had too much time to work, yet too pervasive an urge to miss seeing Gerard and Trent together. Their eyes crinkled up in the exact same way when they laughed, and lately, she had spotted Trent picking up Gerard’s habits. For instance, Trent repeatedly told her she was awesome. And when she paid attention, she noticed that Gerard said that to Trent very often. Not just as two words to encourage him, but there was awe on Gerard’s face every time he said it.

  For the last seven days, Gerard had ignored all her protests about him playing too much and stressing out his recovering knee, and chose to spend every waking moment with Trent. Last night, when she tucked Trent into bed, he had asked the one question—about that one topic—he’d never been concerned about before. And she’d assumed, very conveniently, that he didn’t understand the concept of two parents until he said it.

  “Can Gerard be my daddy when we go back home?”

  She’d been ashamed while she did it, but had no choice but to evade the question. Before she gave birth to Trent, she had decided she’d be open and honest about things with her son. Gerard’s presence in their lives had made her lose her footing.

  After Trent fell asleep, she’d sobbed for ten minutes in her own bed. The fact of the matter was, she could relate painfully to Trent’s desire. The same craving nagged at her all day. Like a child, she wished she could take Gerard home with her. Being around him had reminded her of so many lost things. He missed his strong hugs, his protective, crushing embrace that made her wince. She also missed the way he used to smile at her—back when he loved her.

  He still smiles at you the same. He wants his name as his son’s surname, and he seems to be really interested to keep seeing him.

  She tried not to remember the way he’d asked if they could have a girl together to test his word. That could only happen if they stayed together. It was the only hint she’d received that told her Gerard didn’t just want to stay in Trent’s life, but also in hers.

  She peeked sideways from her vantage point again and saw Gerard feed Trent a spoonful of yogurt before taking one for himself. She couldn’t help but smile, tears making the sight blurry.

  There was no way around it. Gerard was Trent’s father. No one could do for Trent what Gerard could. And Gerard seemed eager to have it all. She wondered if she should risk it all to give Gerard a chance—for Trent. But that would not be the right reason. She wanted to give Gerard a second chance, not just for Trent, but for herself.

  She eyed his bare calf and let her gaze greedily, wantonly wander over his broad shoulders, his neck, and his thick hair and angled jaw. She wanted him. He had been the most handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on, and he still was. Sometime during the time when she cut him out of her life and moved on, she’d told herself she’d simply been too young and too besotted; Gerard wasn’t that handsome.

  But God, he was. Everything about him connected to her needy body. The way he spoke, the way he smiled—even the way he acted like a douche most days. He was not replaceable. She had wasted her time trying to find a man for herself. Who could recover from someone
like Gerard? He was a force, a tornado that had stolen her away. Now, she was ruined for all men.

  “The bastard,” she whispered to herself, wiping away her tears, composing herself before she walked into the living room and pretended that she hadn’t been ogling them for the last twenty minutes. “What’s going on?” Her hands on her hips, she smiled down at her son.

  “We’re having yogurt,” both Trent and Gerard said in unison. Then the two of them burst out laughing, and Hartford laughed with them.

  Gerard met her eye, and she quickly tried to hide the absolute wonder on her face.

  “What?”

  She gave up. There was no hiding anything from him. He knew her long before she knew herself. She shook her head and picked up a few toys off the floor, throwing them inside a basket.

  “Okay, we’re done.” Gerard put the bowl away and wiped Trent’s mouth with a tissue.

  Hartford’s smile froze. It all looked so normal. So real.

  “This guy here ate up all my entire yogurt,” Gerard pretended to complain.

  Trent giggled, delighted, and Hartford couldn’t resist wrapping her arms around her son. “Did you?”

  “Yes, I ate it all. I’m going to eat everything Gerard wants to eat.”

  “Whoa. Are you sure? Gerard eats a lot,” she joked.

  “Yes. Everything.” He pulled free and stood in the center of the rug, turning toward his besotted audience of two. “I’m going to eat it all and be big and strong. Then I’m going to play football.”

  “Yeah!” Gerard said hoarsely and loud, and lifted his hand for a high five. Trent’s small hand landed onto it with a soft smack. “Ow.” Gerard pretended to curl over in pain. “You’re so strong already.”

  Hartford chuckled. Seated a foot away from Gerard, they joked with their son. It was one of the most profound, and at the same time heartbreaking, moments of her life. Trent quickly pulled out all the toys from the basket, one by one, that Hartford had just put in, and busied himself with two toy dinosaurs.

  Hartford twined her fingers. With Trent occupying himself, she felt like some conversation was in order between herself and her patient. She glanced sideways. “So how’s your knee faring?”

  “Perfect. I actually scheduled to go to a practice tomorrow.”

  Hartford nodded. “I think you can go slow and see how it goes. But if it hurts even so much as a pinch, you come straight home and we’ll get on with the physio.”

  “As you wish.”

  Hartford smiled, fighting the urge to put some distance between their bodies. Gerard was right there, and he was falling in love with Trent, and she was ecstatic. She was fearful for all she’d have to deal with when she returned home, but too desperate for this normalcy and affection from him toward her son.

  “Trent,” Gerard called, “why don’t you tell your mom where we’re going tomorrow?”

  “Yes!” Trent jumped onto his feet and bounced ecstatically toward her. “I’m going to a real football game. With real players. They’re all Gerard’s friends.”

  Hertford’s smile faded and her heart thudded to the base of her stomach. “Oh, really?”

  “Yes.”

  Hartford nodded and turned toward Gerard. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Taking him along?”

  “It’s going to be perfect. I won’t be playing much anyway, just warming up, and I’ll get to play with him in a real field and show him how it works.”

  Hartford was unsure. It was one thing playing with him in the boundary of his own house, but going out in public, especially when Trent looked so much like Gerard, seemed like a terrible idea. It was impossible not to tell that they were related. “Will you tell anyone that he’s your…”

  Gerard shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t do that without running it by you first. Right now, I’ll just say he’s my nephew who’s visiting.”

  “Cool.” But to Hartford, it didn’t sound cool at all. She didn’t know why, but it made her incredibly anxious.

  However, the anxiety ended when Trent jumped up and down all day waiting for it. He nagged her to go to bed early because Gerard had told him that he needed to sleep well to play the game like the real football players. Once in bed, he couldn’t stop asking her questions about the game. He was too little to understand much, so Hartford was goaded into Trent’s excitement and told him all he could understand about the sport. Gerard, however, had beat her to most of it.

  ***

  The next morning, she awoke early with Trent and brought him down for breakfast. When she was helping him put his shoes on, she glanced toward the wall clock. “Where is he?” she mumbled and spotted the housekeeper. “Mrs. Berry, could you go up and check on Gerard, please. He has practice to get to and he’s already running late.”

  “Mr. Blackstone isn’t home, Ms. Roberts.”

  Hartford spun around, her heart dropping to the floor. “Where is he?”

  “He left early. I’m not sure where he went.”

  Hartford turned slowly back to Trent.

  “Where is he?” Trent already looked confused.

  Hartford swallowed. “I think, uhh…” Her eyes darted over his adorable, chubby face and bright blue eyes. “Gerard had an urgent phone call last night, and he left early. He told me to tell you but I forgot,” she lied.

  Trent’s face fell. “But I have to play with the real football players.”

  “It’s okay. We can play football, you and I, and we can go see Mr. Poppy.”

  “No,” Trent cried, and his lower lip trembled. He had wound himself into such an excitement that he wanted to do nothing else but go to the practice with Gerard. For the next half hour, he was inconsolable, angry, crying, sulking, and he wouldn’t play when she tried to distract him with a game.

  Hartford finally got Trent’s mind off his unreliable father, and his broken promise, by handing him her smartphone—something she was totally against. But she couldn’t help it. She was fuming and exhausted, and she needed Trent to calm down.

  She switched the TV on to get her mind off the putrid anger flowing through her veins. How dare he break her son’s heart like this. How dare he show him this side of him?

  The moment reminded her of times where she’d been in a similar position as Trent was facing right now. When she was making her way to doctors’ appointments, alone, and his promises of staying by her side no matter what had fizzled out in the face of his obsession with his career. She had felt pathetic, a disposable object in his life. Now, he was showing that side of himself to Trent. When his own interests mattered, Gerard didn’t care about anyone but himself.

  She was skimming through channels when her blood ran cold. She shifted forward on the couch and switched back to the news channel where she’d thought she’d seen…

  It was him. Gerard, wearing a blue button-down shirt and black trousers, chatting to a sports analyst about his injury, his comeback, his plans.

  She switched off the TV and stood up, glancing at Trent and cringing when he seemed to be engrossed in her smartphone. Where Gerard’s career was concerned, he didn’t give a shit about anyone else. He hadn’t cared about her, after all the time they’d spent together, and he hadn’t cared about Trent.

  Secretly, she was glad. No, she was ecstatic. Now, she didn’t have to live in a delusional world of fantasies where all three of them were a family. Now she could easily tell Gerard to stay away from her, and then she could go back home without a second thought. Because Gerard wasn’t worth it. He was selfish and self-centered, and he’d never been there for either of them.

  Why she ever assumed Gerard would come through for Trent was shocking. He’d left her much worse. The wounds had taken years to fill in and still throbbed. She still had the chance to spare her son the same tormenting pain.

  ***

  Trent was playing by the fenced pool with Mrs. Berry when Hartford heard the car pulling up into the driveway. She looked up as the front door opened, and Gerard stepped inside.

  One look
at Hartford’s face and Gerard drew in a deep breath. “I can explain.”

  Hartford’s temper, which she’d tried to rein in while she waited for him, ignited. “You can explain?” she hissed, standing up slowly. “You can explain? Do you have any idea how upset he was?”

  “Jesus…” He peeked past her. “Where is he?”

  “Don’t!” Hartford kept her voice low so that Trent wouldn’t overhear the argument. “Don’t you dare try to spend time with my son, and bond with him…”

  Gerard reeled from the force of her fury. “Hartford… you don’t mean that.”

  “I mean that. Why wouldn’t I? When all you’ll do in the end is screw him over for your career?”

  He froze on the spot, his shoulders visibly tense. “I got a last-minute call. I’d forgotten I agreed to the interview, and I left in such a rush—”

  “I don’t care!” Hartford cried. “I don’t care, all right? Because sometimes, Gerard, it’s not about you. The world doesn’t revolve around Gerard Blackstone, and his contracts, and his interviews and his games and his plans. There are other people in the world, and I’ll be damned if I let my son bear the heartbreak that I bore at your hands.”

  He reached for her arms, but she pulled back. “Don’t touch me. You don’t ever touch me again. And feel free to call your friends over from tomorrow, throw the parties with those ridiculous naked women. Go back to your life. No need to pretend that Trent means anything to you.”

  “He does mean the world to me,” Gerard said slowly. “Where is Trent?”

  “Words aren’t enough, Gerard. You can say that all you want… but your word is good for nothing. Unless it’s about football, in which case you’ll trample everyone you pretend to love to get to it.”

  Gerard looked at the ground, his hands tightening into fists and releasing.

  Hartford waited for him to argue, to shout back accusations at her. They both knew this was about more than him flaking on Trent. This was about the past and her experience with him. Hartford’s tautened shoulders relaxed as she gaped at Gerard’s face. The expression adorning his sexy face was novel. She’d never seen him look so desolate. He looked like he was trapped, and regret marred his face.

 

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