by Lucy Rinaldi
Aimee offers me coffee, which I turn down, I don't drink coffee, never have. She then offers me a bottle of water which I accept, I'm dying in this heat. Her office is quite cozy. There's nothing more than a filing cabinet, a desk with a phone and laptop, and the chairs Aimee and I are sitting in. But somehow, it gives off such a warm feeling.
“So, Roya. What brings you to Oak Springs?”
“A fresh start.” I shrug. I can't tell this woman why I'm really here. I need to go slow, gather all the facts before I get to the point of it all.
“Where about are you living?”
“Hillside.” Why is she asking me where I live?
“The Clarke's old place?” I nod. “Ah, yes... So, I assume you're a seamstress and May told you to come here?”
“Yes. I make a lot of my own clothes. I'm also quite gifted with lingerie.”
“Would you happen to have any samples with you?”
“No. But...” I lift my portfolio out of my backpack. Yes, I use a backpack. “I do have this.” I hand it to her and sit quietly while she looks through it. Every now and again her eyes widen in surprise. She looks impressed. I hope she's impressed.
I always take pictures of the things I design and make, I then stick the photos in my binder which acts as my portfolio along with drawings of designs I would like to make but could never afford the material to do so. I have a lot of designs in there, everything from cocktail dresses to corsets to baby doll night slips.
I'm starting to feel a little nervous, some of my designs are a little out there. This place isn't the kind of place that sells gothic lingerie, nor is it the kind of place that sells erotic clothing. I shouldn't have been so bold as to bring this to her. I should have taken those drawings out and shown her the simpler things. My palms are sweating and my mouth is dry.
I take a long draft of my water while keeping my eyes on Aimee. She seems to be engrossed in something. Something has definitely caught her eye.
“Roya, these are exquisite.” She lowers the portfolio so I can see to what she's referring. Oh, my Seductive line. A line of erotic lingerie I designed last year. “Have you produced these for anyone else?”
“No. I never had the courage to show anyone else. I forgot they were in there.”
“Would you be able to mock me up a few samples? I'd like to show them to a group of my more...” She takes a deep breath and smiles. “Let's just say I have a few ladies who regularly buy lingerie from me who I think would love this. How long before you can have the samples to me?”
I swallow hard. This is a great opportunity for me but I don't have a sewing machine, nor do I have the money for materials.
“I'm not sure. I mean, I haven't been able to buy a sewing machine yet. And I'm not really sure where I'd purchase the right materials.”
“Give me a list of the materials you need and I'll get them to you. And you can use my sewing room to make them. It's out back where I usually make everything customers order from me.”
“I don't know what to say.” Jesus, is everybody in this town so damn nice?
“Get these samples to me by the end of the week and we'll discuss that job.”
“Really?” She nods with a smile on her face. “Oh my god, thank you so much.” I can't believe it, my life is finally looking up!
“As you're new in town, why don't you join me and a couple of my friends for dinner? It's nothing fancy, just the local pub. But it will be a good way for you to meet some of the girls.”
“I don't know.” I'm not a sociable person. I've spent the past five years keeping myself to myself. Just Jaxson and me for the past four.
“Come on. This town is a small one and pretty soon everybody will want to know who you are. If Mrs. Clarke hasn't told them all about you by now. It will be a good way for you to make friends. And as your boss, I insist.”
“I thought you said we'd talk about the job after I get the samples to you?”
“Oh, come on,” She rolls her eyes playfully. “I think we both know that I'm going to give you the job. Especially if these designs are anything to go by.”
“Wow.” I'm overwhelmed. But, “I don't know anybody else in town, and I can't leave my son alone.”
“You have a son?” I nod my head. “You don't look old enough.” She chuckles.
“I'm old enough. His name is Jaxson.”
“How old is he?”
“He just turned four.”
“And how old are you exactly?”
“Twenty-one,” I say quietly.
I always get this wherever I go. People seem to think that because I was so young when I had my baby that I should have given him up to people who could have cared for him better. People don't seem to realize that I'm what's best for Jaxson. We may not have had much up until now, but I have worked so hard since he was born in order to pay for his medical care and get him what he needed. I literally worked my fingers to the bone. We lived in squalor just so I could keep him alive.
“I love my son, Aimee. I know I was young when I had him, but he's my life. And I really need this job so that I can pay for his medication.”
Her eyes narrow in concern. “What's wrong with him?”
“He was born prematurely and he had complications with his breathing. He was four months old before I could take him home. Then, after that, it was just one sickness after another.” My lip quivers.
I can't bear any of this, it's killing me. I'm trying so hard to be strong for Jaxson, but it's so hard because I am so scared for him. He may be getting better but the thought he could any day relapse is too much for me.
“Roya, it's okay,”
I shake my head and wipe the tears from my face. I feel like an idiot crying in front of this woman, but I can't always help it.
“I moved here because Jaxson needs a place where he can feel safe. He has problems connecting with people. He's frightened of everyone and everything and I knew coming to this quiet little town would be just what he needed.
“We used to move around a lot. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, and I had to go where the work was. And I finally just wanted somewhere we could find peace for Jaxson and for me. Somewhere we can call home without having to move again.”
“I can understand that.” She says kindly.
“When Jaxson was two years old” I breathe deeply while looking up to the sky. “He was diagnosed with leukemia.” I sob into my hands.
I haven't said it out loud to anyone else in two long years. But then I've had no one but my son since before he was born. I have no idea why I'm telling this woman all of this, I've known her twenty minutes, but if I am to live in this town people are bound to find out about Jaxson's illness. Plus, we have a connection of sorts.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” She jumps out of her seat and rushes around her desk and crouches down in front of me, taking my hands in hers.
I didn't come in here intending to do this. I don't want to guilt her into giving me a job, but I am so desperate. My baby needs a lot of care, and I have to earn money to pay for it. Plus, I have mounting medical bills that I just can't pay right now. Fighting Cancer for two years and all the treatment Jaxson needed cost so much more than I could have ever hoped to pay for. My insurance just didn't cover everything. The little... let's call them “Job's” I did, were the only way I could make ends meet.
If I'm honest, I'm going to need two jobs even here in order to earn enough money to pay rent and buy food. God knows how I'm going to afford everything Jaxson needs, and that's what is scaring me so much right now. My insurance just won't cover it and it never will. But I can't allow myself to be selfish, things have gotten a lot better since I moved here.
“He fought so hard for two years. He had three operations, one included removing half his left lung.” She gasps in shock. It is shocking but this is the reality I have lived with since Jaxson's diagnosis.
“Three weeks ago he was finally given the all clear. My baby is finally in remission. But I'm terrif
ied that he'll relapse, and that fear will never leave me. But I need to work because the medical bills that piled up since his birth just seem never ending.”
“Listen to me,” I look up at her. She's got tears in her eyes. I didn't tell her this to upset her. “I know how scared you must be, and that's why you need friends. Believe me, everyone here is very friendly. You have a job here, that's a guarantee.” I breathe deeply in relief. “Come to dinner, bring Jaxson with you. It will do him and you the world of good to meet everyone. Plus, one of the girls who will be there tonight is a nurse at the hospital. It will be good for you to meet her.”
“I don't really want Jaxson's first meeting with people to be overshadowed by his illness, nor the fact he's a cancer survivor. People will find out soon enough. But for tonight can we keep it between us?” She nods with a smile on her face. “Okay,” I smile. “Where and what time?”
Three
Bryton
My six months here is almost up. I didn't think spending time with my much older brother and his family would be so much fun. I was wrong. My brother is seventeen years my senior. Big age gap, right?
My mother was married before she met my father, and, of course, she had a son with him, my brother, Chase. My mother, Myra, met my father, Paul when Chase was just six months old. They shamelessly had an affair and when Chase was two-years-old his father walked out. My mother married my father a year later. They had four children together, four sons. After Chase my mother had Ryan, he's now thirty-eight. Then came Michael, who's thirty-seven, then Zack, who's now thirty-two. Then there's me, the baby at twenty-five.
I've been traveling the world for the past four and a half years, working for a company who specializes in fitness, one that sends me all over the world to work in different locations of their world renowned fitness company. It can be a tiring job, but I work hard, damn hard. Whether it be training unfit men, flirting with very fit women, or volunteering at whatever local shelter I come across in whatever country I'm in at the time, I never stop working. I'm even working while in this little town. Anything to try and forget her and what I did to her. It's kind of sod's law that it hardly ever works.
Anyway, I arrived home six months ago from nine months in Holland and decided to come to this little town of Oak Springs to spend some time with my big brother. We've never been particularly close, but he's my brother at the end of the day. And finding out he'd married Emilee, his dead best friend's baby sister, sixteen years his junior, shocked me a little.
Not as much as finding out about their two children, Aidan, who's now five, and Harper, who is now two, was a bigger shock. Serves me right for having next to no contact with my family for almost seven years. Apart from the odd postcard I sent my mother here and there, I never spoke to any of them.
Of course, when I turned up on Chase's doorstep he was shocked, but he was pleased to see me. I couldn't believe how good he looks for his age. My brother has always been a strong and buff kind of man, but he does not look forty-two.
I was so happy to see Emilee. The two of us were best friends growing up. She may have been a year older than me, but we were incredibly close. Meeting my niece and nephew was amazing. And I must say I love them both so fucking much I don't know how I'm going to leave them next month.
Finding Jesse here, my brother's best friend, and remarried with even more kids was shocking. I had no idea he'd moved here. It had been a while since I'd seen his son, Caleb. I couldn't believe how tall he'd gotten. But I suppose at the age of ten he would be. Jesse also has twins, a boy and a girl, three years of age, and two of the quietest kids I've ever met. Whatever they put in those kids cereal they should sell to every parent. They'd make a fortune.
I've made a few friends here, all of them my brother's friends. But still, I like them all. There's not much in the way of hot women in this town, it seems everyone is either taken or a slut who goes out of town to sleep with any man they can open their legs for. There's one girl here who would be worth a couple of hot steamy nights. Aimee, local boutique owner. But no matter what I do, she's not interested. I feel like I've lost my touch, I mean I'm not that bad. I'm six-foot-two, sandy blonde hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders, six pack, slim waist.
Okay, I'm making myself out to sound like an underwear model. But I take good care of myself. I'm a fitness instructor for fuck's sake. She must be a lesbian, why else won't she say yes to me?
I decided to come for a drink with my brother and Jesse at the local pub. A couple of their other friends have joined us. Freddy and Enzo. Their wives are apparently meeting up with Jesse and Chase's wives. Aimee apparently wants to introduce them to the new girl in town. We've all heard about her from the local gossip, Mrs. Clarke. Some girl who's moved into her dead daughter's house.
Apparently, she's gorgeous, tall, blonde, blue eyed, and made me think about her again. I haven't seen this new girl yet, but Jesse told us all how hot she is, even if she is young enough to be his daughter. Which is crazy when you think about it.
“Another?” I ask as I hold my beer bottle up to the guys. Each nods their heads yes. “Everybody want the same?”
“Yeah. No shots this time.”
“Come on, bro,” I laugh. “Anybody would think you were past it.”
“Not past it, little brother. But it takes a lot more effort to keep looking this good when you get to my age.”
“Ain't it the truth?” Jesse chimes in.
I wave them away and make my way to the bar. I can see the girls from here as I order another round of drinks. There she is, Aimee. God, she's so hot. How the hell am I meant to get her to agree to a date? Just one, that's all I'm asking.
The drinks are on the tray in front of me but I haven't taken my eyes off Aimee yet. She's laughing at something one of the girls is saying. I can see Emilee but I can't make out the others from where they're sitting. I love how Aimee has her dyed brown-red hair curled and tied up. Her skin is so fair it looks like porcelain.
Someone is watching me, I can feel their eyes on me. Then I feel it, the tug on the leg of my jeans. I look down at the little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy looking up at me. His eyes are huge, and he's as cute as all hell.
“Hello.” He says sweetly.
“Hi there. What are you doing here all alone?”
“My mommy is over there with her new friends. She said I can say hi to the men.” He points at my brother and his friends, who are all looking at me curiously. “Can I say hi?”
“Sure.” I grab the drinks tray. “This way.” He giggles. There's something so familiar about his giggle.
“Who's your friend?” My brother asks as soon as I set the tray on the table in front of them. They each grab a beer as little guy pulls himself into the seat I was once sat at in the booth next to my brother. I smile and shake my head while grabbing a chair and pulling it up to our table.
“My name is Jaxson.” He says sweetly, his arms resting on the table, his little legs swinging back and forth in that childlike way kids have. “What are your names?”
“This is Chase.” I point to my brother.
“Is he your daddy?” He has a southern twang to his little voice. It's cute. And the fact he thinks Chase is my dad has the whole table laughing.
“No, he's my big brother.”
“He is too old to be your brother.”
Each one of us laughs as Chase widens his eyes in mock shock. Jaxson laughs, unafraid of any of us. And that's just the way it should be.
“This is Jesse, and Freddy, and Enzo.” I tell.
“What's your name?”
“My name is Bryton.”
“My daddy's name is Bryton.”
“Really?” He nods at me wide eyed with a smile on his sweet little face. “That's awesome!”
“I am four.” God, he's cute. “I just moved here with my mommy.”
“What about your daddy?” My brother asks.
“I don't know who he is. I did never meet him. I just know his name 'cause it is th
e same as mine.” He shrugs his little shoulders at Chase. God, that's so sad for him.
“Does anybody else think this little man looks like Bryton?”
“Very funny, Chase. Don't say things like that in front of the kid, that's really insensitive!” Jerk!
I narrow my eyes as they all look at each other, then at Jaxson, then back to me. What the fuck are they all looking at? Okay, the kid and I have the same hair color, eye color, same shape nose and... Stop it, Bryton, they're messing with you.
“What's your last name, little buddy?” He giggles at Chase. My brother has a way with kids, a way I could never have with them. He's a natural.
“My name is Jaxson Joshua Sawyer. My mommy calls me Jay-Jay sometimes. Mommy doesn't have the same name as me. I have my daddy's name. My daddy's name is Bryton Vance Sawyer.” What the fuck?
My brother literally spits his beer across the table while choking. I can feel the heat rising in my face. No, this can't be. This is bull I've never gotten a girl pregnant.
Okay, that's a lie, I got a girl pregnant once but she had an abortion. She was only seventeen when I slept with her. She lied to me about her age, she was in a nightclub dressed like a twenty-five-year-old. She had legs up to her armpits, and she was fucking gorgeous. I thought she was twenty-one. Turns out she was just seventeen. I was fucking mortified.
Okay, I was only twenty at the time, but that wasn't the point. She'd lied to me. But I forgave her because I couldn't stop thinking about her. When I found out she was pregnant, I told her to get rid of it. She agreed. I was a shallow prick and I was glad. I gave her two-hundred dollars and walked away from her.
I never saw her again.
She's the one I can't forget. She's the one I try so hard not to remember. But of course, I do. I wonder what she's doing, where she is and if she's okay. She's the one I should never have let get away. How can anyone have that effect on a person after a few weeks together? But she did and I've never forgotten her.
“What's your mommy's name, Jaxson?” I ask with a pounding heart, but somehow I already know the answer.
