Mystery on the Seine: A Jake Vincent Mystery

by Terry McGhee

  I nodded to him. The three of us watched Hannity walk down our long driveway to the street where he had parked his patrol vehicle. Murph walked to the edge of the deck wagging his tail as his friend disappeared around a corner.

  Chapter 4

  Barb pushed open her kitchen window. “Hey Jake, it’s the FBI on the telephone. What did you do now Sherlock? Sam wants to talk.” Barb and Sam caught up a little as I could hear her asking about the Tidal Basin Cherry blossoms.

  I grabbed the phone from Barb. “Hello Sam, how’re things at the power center of the Universe?”

  “Hey Jake, there are projects that sometime seem a waste of our time, and others where I would need a dozen more agents to do an acceptable job of investigating. Anyway I wanted to chat some before you guys left for Paris in few weeks.”

  “Barbs’ been flashing dozens of brochures at me the last couple of days. I guarantee she will keep us chasing every touristy experience that she can find. I plan to bring a good book, but have a sneaking feeling it will remain unopened. I could always break my leg and be forced to kick back in that fancy hotel with my book and a few bottles of French wine.”

  “Nice try Jake, but I don’t think the Director would cover that.”

  “What last minute words of advice can you give us? By the way, be sure to tell Agent Simpson he’s done one hell of a job. Barb thinks he could run a successful travel tour company when he retires.”

  “Just wanted to wish you guys a fun journey. You talked to Hannity I guess. Looks like Karma finally caught up with Darrell huh?”

  “Yeah, I’m not too troubled by his sudden departure. Barb says ‘good riddance.’

  “There is one small piece of information I want to talk to you about. This is all confidential Jake, and our phone conversation is secure. Can you talk now?”

  “Uh oh, yeah, it’s just me, The Murph, and some forest critters. Should our connection suddenly go silent, would you keep calling back until I answered?”

  “I think so Jake. We are beginning an investigation that deals with a suspected Ponzi fraud scheme. We’re gathering evidence. It’s pretty wide spread, but nothing of the magnitude of the Madoff case. It will take months for us to ferret out enough of the facts to even begin to consider any arrests…if we ever can. The suspects have flown the coop, and I believe the country. I would like to ask that, when hearing my request, you might agree to just keep your eyes open. No other action would be required. ”

  “Sam, is this where I should repeat that famous line uttered by Michael Corleone in the Godfather movie?”

  “What line is that Jake…’I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse?’”

  That might work but I was thinking of another one…“Where Michael Corleone says: ‘Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.’” Sam was laughing on the other end.

  C’mon Jake, this will be a ‘piece of cake.’ This suspected couple, we are confident, will be on the same Seine River cruise as you and Barb. I just want you to know who they are and to keep an eye on them. I don’t mean you need to follow them or anything. If something unusual happens you can just call anytime and leave a message on my secure line, and we’ll take it from there.”

  “Just how do you suppose this odd coincidence of these criminals being on the same boat as Barb and I suddenly happened?”

  “Hey, Simpson says these are not ‘boats,’ but ‘cruise ships, and super luxury ones to boot’ Jake. You and Barb have to believe me. I got approval to show our thanks to you with the Paris trip way before Simpson dug up the details of this couple’s Paris cruise plans. Forgive me my small deception, but I Ok’d booking you guys on the same river cruise…It’s the best five star booking you can get. You guys will love it.”

  “I believe you Sam, and don’t feel any guilt. Between you and me, a little snooping for the FBI might just perk up the trip. Is it OK if I tell Barb, and how will I get all the details?”

  “Yeah it’s cool with Barb. I’ll send a secure package to the hotel, and ask their security manager to keep it in a safe for your arrival. I’ll let you know when the package gets sent. I really appreciate this Jake. You will also have a French detective working from the France National Police Bureau that will be undercover on the cruise. His data and photo will also be in the package. His name is Louie Bernard, and he will be playing the role of a gay, single tourist traveling with his Yorkie-Poodle dog. By the way, the dog’s name is Lola. Louie and Lola will find you. Will you permit me to transmit a photo of you and Barb to detective Bernard?”

  “You’re kidding me Sam. Now I know you’re not making this up. This sounds like an Agatha Christie story, or maybe one with that Belgian Detective Poirot guy…sheesh! Yeah it’s OK to send this Louie our photo. I guess if he reads the newspapers, he’s already seen it.”

  “Jake, an FBI agent never “kids” while on duty. Well maybe sometimes if it will help solve a case. These two perps have disappeared. They have a lot of money and connections. We think they may have new identities, and have probably fled the country. It’s a big ‘IF,’ but if they keep their Seine River cruise plans, and show up in Paris, I strongly suspect they may have had some character-altering plastic surgery. We are interviewing some of their friends back in Texas and trying to put together a description of habits and mannerisms that may be a tip off to their identity. A recent photo is included in the sealed package.

  “The Coulettis have pissed off some nasty folks Jake. Two brothers, Don and Ben Esposito dumped a lot of money into one of the Couletti’s Funds, and publically have stated they’re not too happy. The money was specifically invested for their grandchildren to pay for college educations at top universities. How vindictive would you be if some con artist stole your grandkid’s future?

  “These guys own a large electrical contracting business in Dallas. They moved from New York to get away from a shady semi-criminal past including bar fights, assault, and tax evasion. Accusations of having connections with the Mob were never proven. Three weeks after the Coulettis disappeared, their garage burned down, and along with it their vintage Rolls Royce. Cause of the fire was listed as an electrical wiring malfunction. Our criminal profiling team thinks that, if the Esposito’s were involved, this doesn’t quite reach the level of payback. The team is betting on additional retribution is being sought by these very bad actors. I’ll also send info on the Espositos, and we will keep an eye on their movements. They found out the Coulettis are taking that river cruise. Seems like the wife was bragging to the neighbors about her husband’s generosity. And the real kicker is that no one has heard anything from the Coulettis. No one knows how to reach them. The house and yard maintenance people tell us that they could be gone for as long as six months. Ya kinda think they would want to know that a suspicious fire at their house destroyed the garage and their 1937 Roller. I think they’re on the lam with a lot of money and carefully thought out plans.”

  “Two of their neighbors in Texas told one of our agents that Don and Ben secretly made a casual comment at a block party to another investor friend, that Clyde and Ella Couletti might just ‘Have an accident’ on their Paris trip. The Espositos have the money and connections, we believe, to carry out such a threat. We’re keeping an eye on them, and so far they’re both sticking around and running a very active business.

  “Holy crap,” muttered Jake. Thanks for the good news. Sam, you gotta keep Hannity and I informed about the whereabouts of this crazy Donnie Jerkovick. He sounds like a dedicated psychopath and the one I’m concerned about. These Esposito brothers have no quarrel with me.

  “I’ll tell you what I think Sam. The fact that no one has heard from the Coulettis, tells me they don’t plan on returning.”

  “We’re on it Jake, like white on rice. We’ll talk a few times before you leave. Keep those little gray cells alert. Au revoir and Bonne nuit Jake. Bonjour to Barb and The Murph.”

  Barb stood holding a glass of the deep maroon Malbec. “Well she said?”

  “Y
ou’re not going to believe this,” said Jake. Better get out that English-to-French translation booklet Simpson sent.”

  “I’ve been studying some of the more common words and phrases, so I’ll be ready. You should start boning up yourself”

  Jake leaned in and gave his wife a kiss. “That’s my girl; you always rise to the occasion.”

  Barb returned the kiss and said, “Ca me plait.”

  “OK I’ll play if that’s what you’re asking. What did you say?”

  “It’s in the book…check it out.”

  “Does that mean there’s no playing in my immediate future?”

  “You figured it out Sherlock.”

  Chapter 5 Five weeks later: Paris, Four Seasons Hotel

  Jake and Barbara were relaxing in the plush Gallerie Lounge. They had arrived in Paris in the early a.m., and been whisked to the hotel by an FBI agent-trainee. They had snatched an hour jet-lag nap in their suite, only after enjoying a glass of Champagne, courtesy of the hotel guest services manager.

  “You know hon, I could get used to this life.” They clinked glasses as Barb made a toast: “Here’s to an enjoyable and relaxing cruise; fine food and new sights, with no misadventures. May my sleuthing husband have no occasion to exercise his criminal investigating skills, and may we never hear from the FBI.”

  “I’ll drink to that.” I secretly wondered if Sam might be holding back anything…Nah, the FBI office in Paris would be brought in if Washington needed assistance.

  ****

  A young waiter was hovering near our seating area. He approached with two small bowls of warm nuts. He did a slight bow and said, “Good evening, and how are you both?”

  Jake held up a finger and said, “Tres bien, merci.”

  Our waiter said in English, “Well-said sir. You guys are brushing up on your French I see. The locals really appreciate it when the tourists use French for some of the common phrases. You sound like you might be Americans.” He looked at Barb.

  “Ah hah, you found us out.” She replied. “I’m Barbara and this is my husband Jake. You sound as American as I’m sure we must. Are you from the states?”

  “Yes Ma’am, I’m from Texas, but attending a small college near Paris studying languages with a minor study in chemistry. My name is Kent Parker, and I’m glad to meet you.”

  Jake and Barb shook the hand of the polite, young waiter. “We’re pleased to meet you Kent.”

  “In the summer months I work as a waiter at the Four Seasons, and this year I snagged a job on one of the luxury river cruise lines…it’ll be my first, and I’m a little excited. And before you ask about my curriculum choice, my Dad retired from a large chemical company. I always had thought I might attend a Pharmacy school, or maybe pick up where Dad left off and develop a life-saving drug and be famous. Hence the minor study in chemistry.”

  They all shook hands and Jake said, “Well we will drink to your success. Hey, we are booked on the Seine cruise ship Grand Queen that leaves this weekend. The tour heads north on the Seine to the Normandy region.”

  Kent did another small bow and said, “Well then, we shall have each other as company. I’ll be working both as waiter and gofer on the Queen.”

  Barbara said, “How wonderful Kent. We look forward to chatting on the cruise. I’ll bet your parents miss you, and maybe a girl friend?”

  “Naw, I’m foot loose and fancy free at the moment. My Dad died recently, so I’m trying to help Mom out more with my school expenses.

  Barbara said, “Oh, I’m so sorry Kent. How sad that must be for you.”

  “Yeah, Mom is holding up OK, and she has family in Texas. The good news for me is that I speak fluent French, Spanish, and a little Italian. Tourism is big business in France, so there seems to be plenty of work for those of us that are fluent in the common languages.”

  Jake commented, “It sounds like you have a firm control of your life Kent. You’ll do fine. Sometimes a family tragedy can act as the catalyst to encourage great things in us humans. We can do things we never dreamt possible before.”

  “Hey I’ve got to start moving around or I’ll get fired. If I don’t run into you guys here in the hotel, I’ll catch up with you on the ship.”

  Jake and Barb ordered another wine, and settled back in their upholstered lounge chairs listening to Jazz Guitarist Earl Klugh softly playing his acoustic guitar in an alcove next to the lounge. The smooth and mellow sounds of ‘Long ago and far away’ drifted like smoke over the dimly lit room. The set ended followed with polite applause from everyone. Jake stood up and said, “Let’s move out to the veranda where it’s a little quieter, and we can find a secluded corner. I’ve checked over the package of info Sam sent, and I want to bring you up to speed.”

  “Oh please Jake. You don’t really owe Sam anything. You did your job, and the FBI has gladly given us this gift vacation. A gift means there are no strings attached. I don’t really want to know anything about this ‘criminal-watch deal’ you’ve made with Sam.”

  “Come on Barb, this could add some spice to our vacation. You know I’m not real fond of following a flag-waving tour guide around the dark passageways of old churches and villages. In any case I feel a little obligated to study Sam’s package so I can observe goings on with some advance knowledge. You know I submitted to the touristy brochures lecture on the plane ride over.”

  “I did not lecture you. I was educating us on locations we might visit on our trip. Oh OK, let’s hear the secret details…although I’m liable to doze off from boredom.”

  Jake pulled an 8X10 photo out of the large envelope. “This photo of the alleged criminal couple was taken at a neighborhood get-together. Sam says he will bet that Clyde and Ella Couletti will have changed their appearance...money and high-up connections in Europe practically guarantee it. Sam says his profile experts tell him that the woman will have ditched the long Platinum hair, and maybe had some plastic surgery on her face. The big boobs are also a tell-all, so some surgery there as well.”

  “How disappointing for you and the male passengers,” commented Barb.

  “Well into every life a little rain must fall.” Barb punched Jake in the shoulder and shook her head as if clearly disgusted with his comment.

  “This Clyde Couletti clearly will have lost some weight and shortened his hair, which as you can see is long for a man his age. It may be dyed as well. Sam’s note also says that neighbors described the large, smelly cigars that Clyde always had clamped in his mouth. It would be logical for him to quit smoking cigars. This is more easily said than done, so the bet is that he may just switch brands.

  “There’s no photo of this Louie Bernard from the French National Police, but Sam’s note says he will find us. I can’t wait to meet him. His act will be undercover as he will be playing a single, Gay person who is a part time professor of medieval history. He will have a small dog…a Yorkie-Poodle named Lola. Sheesh, I told Sam this was sounding like an Agatha Christie mystery.”

  Barb gave Jake the bored look, and a huge eye roll. “Jake, I’m a little stiff and sore from the flight. Let’s walk down to the Champs-Elysees and check out the people. We’re on holiday.”

  Chapter 6

  Jake inquired at the concierge desk as to the best walking route to the famous boulevard. “Please Mr. Vincent; let the hotel drop you off. Here is a card with our guest services number. Just call when you want to return.”

  “Thank you very much, and we gladly accept. We just want to stop at a sidewalk café; grab an espresso, and watch people.”

  “This is a popular activity in Paris. If you will wait just outside the lobby entrance, a car will pick you up.”

  Five minutes later Jake and Barb were being whisked away, cruising down the Rue Pierre Charron seated in the plush leather rear seat of a Rolls Royce. The polite driver said, “I know of the best sidewalk café where you can enjoy the good weather and mix with other tourists and local Parisians as well. Please just call the number on the card; let the office kno
w where you are, and a driver will pick you up.”

  Jake turned to Barb. “I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight.”

  They had been seated at a sidewalk table no more than a few minutes when Barb looked over Jake’s shoulder and exclaimed, “Oh my God. Jake, don’t turn around, but I think we may just be about to meet this French detective Louie Bernard and his dog Lola. He’s coming this way.”

  An early-middle age, slender man, smartly dressed in an expensive double-breasted business suit stopped opposite our table. The gentleman was totally bald, and wore a small flower bud in his lapel. He smiled and said, “Bonsoir, Madame, monsieur.” Barbara smoothly fell into the act.

  “Good evening.” Oh what a cute little dog.” She reached out to do a finger-paw shake. By now Jake was also on board with the game. “What’s her name? Why don’t you both join us?” Jake pointed to a chair at our table. “I am Barbara, and this is my husband Jake.”

  Jake said, “Yes please sit down. As you may have shrewdly deduced, we are Americans, and would enjoy chatting. What is your dog’s name?” Jake had conjured up the Peter Seller’s ‘Pink Panther’ movie where he asked, ‘Does your dog bite?’ and when told ‘No,’ reached out to pet the dog and was promptly bitten. When Sellers’ said, ‘I thought you said your dog did not bite,’ the response was, ‘That is not my dog.’ He figured he was a little punchy still from jet lag.

  “My name is Louie Bernard. Lola, meet Barbara and Jake from America. Lola is my six pound companion. She is a Yorkie Poodle, and well-mannered.” He quickly slipped a white business card under Jake’s espresso saucer. Jake slid it out to read it. The name ‘Louie Bernard’ was hand-written on one side along with a single telephone number marked as ‘mobile.’ “This is quite the coincidence. Are you also staying at the Four Season’s Hotel? I believe I saw you in the lobby. Lola and I also have a room there.”

  The outdoor tables were filling up quickly. Louie, cradling Lola, stood. “Since we are at the same hotel, perhaps we can have our chat there.” He pulled a dog leash from an inside coat pocket and snapped it onto Lola’s chest harness. “We must finish our walk as I am slightly behind my schedule for tonight. Lola and I wish you a very exciting and pleasant stay in Paris.” Louie stepped out to the sidewalk and deposited Lola. She did a full body shake and tugged on the leash. Louie gave us a nod goodbye. We laughed some as he pretended he was being dragged by a large dog, both arms grasping the leash and extended out in front as if being pulled. He waved over his shoulder.