Silver Dew

by Suzi Davis

  He slowly linked his fingers through mine. My heart began beating strangely, my breathing became uneven. His eyes darkened and softened, his expression growing more serious and unexpectedly nervous as he watched me. His lips parted slightly, the words hanging on his lips before he finally spoke.

  “And your answer to the first question?”

  “Are you really asking?” I whispered breathlessly. He had definitely caught me off-guard but in an unexpectedly, wonderful way.

  “I shouldn’t have to ask,” he agreed with a smile. “We’ve actually been married for over two thousand years but I understand the contract is somewhat void since you don’t currently remember it.”

  “What?” I demanded.

  Sebastian looked at me in surprise, obviously not understanding the sudden change in my mood and tone. I sat up a little bit straighter.

  “You married Caoilinn?” I tried to keep my voice even. The faint edge of jealousy was nearly undetectable; it made so little sense that I didn’t expect Sebastian to notice anyway.

  “Yes, of course I did,” he admitted, looking confused.

  “But that means you’re still married to her,” I pointed out, a sick feeling growing in my gut. It didn’t help at all when Sebastian laughed.

  “Gracelynn – she… she died nearly two thousand years ago.” The pain that flickered in his eyes disappeared so quickly, I nearly missed it. “And besides, you are Caoilinn,” he argued calmly in a carefully hushed voice. My feelings were hurt and my typically mild temper suddenly flared.

  “I am not her,” I snapped. I pulled my hand from his and sharply looked away from him. I knew I was behaving childishly but I couldn’t seem to help myself. Of course I knew that he and Caoilinn had a close and intimate relationship but naively, I’d never considered that he might have married her and it bothered me for some reason… but why?

  “Why is this upsetting you so much?” He spoke the very same question aloud, his voice patient and concerned. I glared angrily out the window, watching the dull grey buildings and city lights blur by, frustrated and angry because I wasn’t certain of the answer myself.

  “Because,” I paused, searching for the correct words. “Because you committed yourself to her for life – for your life. That means you’re still committed to her… so how can you really be committed to me? How can you marry me when you’re married to her still? When you still love her?” I finished sadly. My anger was quickly fading and hurt tears quivered in my eyes as I pinpointed the source of my pain.

  “But you are her in the same way that she was always you,” Sebastian quietly replied. I stubbornly shook my head, still refusing to look his way. “The way I feel about you… This isn’t a Caoilinn-thing or a Gracelynn-thing – it’s you. The soul of who you are, the core of your being is the same and that’s what I love, that’s who I can’t resist no matter what your name or appearance or age or anything! And that’s who I committed myself to.”

  I blinked away the hurt tears that had begun gathering. I only felt slightly better. My pride was still injured but I could see the silliness of my reaction now.

  “Caoilinn and I were not married in the modern sense, anyway. She performed a private ceremony that no one else witnessed but ourselves and the full moon. It was the first step in Binding our souls together, the night when she shared her magic with me and when we committed ourselves – our souls - to one another,” he explained. I still didn’t really understand. “I wish you could remember. It’s hard to believe that I once forgot.”

  I didn’t answer. I knew I’d over-reacted and I felt a torrent of shame as I realized how I’d ruined his proposal. No matter how jokingly he had done it, he had still just asked me to marry him.

  “I’m sorry, Sebastian. I… I’m sorry,” I repeated lamely. I met his gaze now and his eyes were large and wise, boring down into the depths of mine.

  “Don’t apologize. I do forget sometimes that you’re not her and that you don’t remember or know everything that happened between us. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

  “Let’s just forget about it,” I suggested, knowing that it would never be so easily done.

  “That would have been easy once,” he joked. Neither of us laughed. “You should get some rest.”

  I shook my head, looking out to the bright sky and the world that we were speeding by. “It’s early still. I’ll sleep when you do.”

  “I’m not going to sleep tonight,” Sebastian unexpectedly announced.

  “What? Why not?”

  “I don’t want to,” he answered simply. “The way my nightmares have been lately… I don’t think it would be a good idea to sleep on a crowded bus.”

  “Oh, I see.” He was probably right but I didn’t like the idea of him staying up all night alone. “I’ll stay up with you then,” I decided. His response was immediate.

  “No, you need to get some sleep.”

  “And you don’t?”

  “I don’t want it to affect me so it won’t for now,” Sebastian dismissed. “Stay up with me for now, if you’re really not tired, but I want you to eventually get some sleep too – so you know you will,” he pointed out.

  My eyes narrowed at him and my fingers crept up to my chest to clench the warm amber of my necklace. “You can only make me sleep if I want to – and I don’t. I want to stay awake with you and I don’t want it to affect me either,” I challenged.

  He smiled. “It’ll be a good test of your control then. Let’s see how you do.”

  His confidence was extremely aggravating and only served to make me more determined – perhaps that was his intention though.

  Sebastian and I stayed awake and talked for hours. I watched as the sun slowly moved lower across the sky, eventually sinking out of sight and leaving its heat smoldering on the horizon in a flare of color. We quietly talked and joked throughout the night, the guilt and tension that had arisen between us disappearing as quickly as it came. I felt surprisingly happy and victorious as I leant against his shoulder and watched the sun rise the following morning. I was exhausted and stiff from sitting in the bus seat all night but I had done it. I was awake and definitely not as tired as I should have been.

  “Was it your magic that overpowered mine or your stubbornness?” Sebastian asked me teasingly as we watched the golden rays spread out from the eastern horizon. We were traveling along Highway 17/18 and had just passed through Sault Ste. Marie. We should be in Toronto that evening, in about twelve more hours.

  I smiled and kept my voice deliberately light. “I’m not stubborn.”

  “Of course not,” Sebastian agreed grinning. “How about we hop off at the next gas station and buy some breakfast?”

  “That sounds like a great plan!” My stomach grumbled delicately in agreement. A gas station breakfast of coffee, doughnuts and cold sandwiches sounded delicious to me.

  It was a few more hours before the bus stopped to refuel, giving all the passengers a chance to get off and stretch our legs. Sebastian and I bought a huge bag full of gas station foods – enough so that we would have three full and junk-laden meals that day. Once we were back on the bus, our stomachs full and our coffee cups empty, I did start to feel a little more tired. I reclined my chair slightly and was surprised when Sebastian did the same, pulling one of our dirty and worn blankets from his bag to drape over us (the air-conditioning had started to raise goose bumps on my arms).

  I raised my eyebrows at Sebastian. “Going to take a nap?”

  “No, but I thought I’d watch you sleep for a while and get some rest vicariously.”

  “Ha-ha.” My sarcasm was ruined by a rather large and long yawn. “I’m just going to rest my eyes,” I warned. “You better not let me fall asleep.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” I could hear the amusement in Sebastian’s voice but could only guess at his smirk as my eyes were already closed. I was rapidly being lulled to sleep by the bus engine’s steady hum and Sebastian’s nearby warmth.

  I really must
have been exhausted for I slept deeply for most of the day, missing lunch and supper. It wasn’t until the sun had traveled across the vast blue sky that I began to stir and even then, I might not have awakened at all if it weren’t for Sebastian’s sudden loud moans.

  “No… no! I didn’t really want… no!” he half-cried, half-yelled, jolting me awake.

  I sat up straight, looking around in confusion, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I was confused to see many shocked and curious faces peering over the neighboring seats at me, or rather - at Sebastian. My thoughts were thick and groggy from sleep and it took me a minute to make sense of the situation.

  “Sebastian, wake up,” I urged, shaking him gently as I spoke.

  “No… please…not her!” he moaned even louder, his head tossing feebly.

  I shook him harder, worried for what he might call out next. “Wake up!” I insisted, my voice sharp and demanding, a familiar echo of my mother’s. I squeezed my amber pendant so tightly in my hand it hurt, focusing all of my strength and will through it. I lowered my voice and spoke slowly and forcefully, in sudden cool control of the situation. “I want you to wake up – now!”

  Sebastian’s eyes flew open.

  I was about to sigh in relief but my breath caught in my chest as I saw his panicked expression.

  “What’s happening? Where are we?” he demanded in a loud, fearful voice. He started to half-rise out of his seat.

  I grabbed his hand and yanked him back down as hard as I could.

  “Sebastian, shush! Calm down.”

  His wide eyes momentarily focused on my face as I spoke, the mysterious depths swirling with confusion.

  “Caoilinn? I don’t understand - what’s going on?” He winced in pain as he spoke, his fingers flying to his temples to press against them.

  “Everything okay there, miss?” the bus driver called out. I met his concerned eyes in the mirror over his seat and tried to smile reassuringly.

  “We’re fine, thanks,” I politely responded, throwing him my most charming smile. It didn’t work as well as it once had. The driver frowned, still looking concerned and a little suspicious. A lot of eyes were still turned our way.

  “Sebastian?” I spoke his name softly, gently placing a hand on his arm. He didn’t answer, didn’t move, he just continued to clutch at his head in pain. “Seamus?” I repeated, feeling the beginnings of my own panic setting in as a thin trickle of blood ran from his nose and dripped from his upper lip. I grabbed the corner of our blanket and gently touched it to his skin to wipe the blood away. His head snapped up at my touch, his eyes wide once more as he flinched away from me.

  “The Others – they’re so close. I can sense them! We’ve got to run, Caoilinn! We have to run! They’re going to kill us!” Sebastian began yelling, standing up as he spoke and tugging forcefully on my arms.

  Another trickle of blood ran from his other nostril. At almost the same time he abruptly let go of my arms and dropped to his knees in pain, curling up on his side in the middle of the aisle and clutching at his head again.

  Two men rushed to help but everyone else remained seated, eyeing Sebastian and me warily. The bus immediately pulled over, the driver angrily turning around.

  “What the hell is going on here?” he demanded.

  “They look like junkies,” someone further back in the bus called out.

  “Yeah, I think he might just be tripping out,” one of the men who’d come to help Sebastian suggested, glancing at me apologetically as he spoke. The other man looked disgusted and threw his hands up in the air.

  “Goddamn coke fiends! They must have been snorting the stuff in the bathroom. Look at that kid’s nose.” The man nudged Sebastian with his shoe as he spoke, causing him to moan and his eyelids to flutter. His grip on his head did seem to be loosening a bit though and his nose had definitely stopped bleeding.

  “We’re not drug addicts!” I was completely shocked by the accusation. I’d never done a single drug in my life – I hadn’t even taken Tylenol with codeine when my wisdom teeth were removed!

  “Sure you’re not,” the bus driver agreed dryly. All three men shook their heads at us. Sebastian moaned on the floor, his head beginning to toss again and his eyelashes fluttering more regularly. “I thought it was strange you two didn’t sleep last night but now I guess I know why. Grab your stuff and get off my bus,” the driver challenged, glaring at me. “You can file a complaint with head office if you don’t like it but you’re not riding with us any further! I should call the cops and have ‘em pick you up.”

  A few people near the back of the bus clapped. I was too shocked to speak. The Others were nearly upon us, our only hope was to get to Toronto before them and now we were getting thrown off the only bus that would take us there… what were we going to do?

  Chapter Five – Reunion

  “Gracelynn?” Sebastian’s voice weakly asked. His eyes were open now and he gazed up at me from the floor. His confusion was clear but it was the kind of confusion you’d expect from someone who had awoken to that scene.

  “Help him up and get ‘em off,” the bus driver instructed the two men standing beside me. They both nodded their agreement and reached down to roughly pull Sebastian up by his arms.

  I could sense this was an argument that we weren’t about to win, even with Sebastian’s power of persuasion. These men absolutely did not want us on the bus – there would be no convincing them to let us stay.

  I reached under our seats and pulled out our bags, stuffing our old blanket into the top of Sebastian’s with the bag of leftover food we’d bought at the gas station.

  “Are you okay?” I asked Sebastian, noticing how he seemed to need the men’s support to stand.

  He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Come on then, we’re getting off the bus,” I told him in a low voice that made my displeasure very clear. For some reason, the men holding onto Sebastian’s arms suddenly released him and began moving back towards their seats, refusing to meet my eye.

  Sebastian calmly accepted the situation in a way that only he ever could. He paused and took in my expression, nodding slowly as if he understood. He then took his bag from me and gestured for me to go first. The bus was silent, all eyes on us as we exited.

  We were deposited on the side of a fairly busy street on what appeared to be the outskirts of Toronto. For a minute we stood there, dazed and overwhelmed by the sudden noise and heat of the day, and the abrupt change in our situation. Sebastian recovered first, grabbing my arm and pulling me along the sidewalk.

  “We have to keep moving – the fifth is here and the Others are on their way. They’ll be here by morning,” Sebastian warned, slipping his arms through the straps of his backpack as he spoke.

  “I know.”

  Sebastian lifted a questioning brow at me. I pulled my pack on and began marching down the sidewalk beside him.

  “We both fell asleep and we shouldn’t have. The Others must have wanted us to get thrown off the bus to stop us from reaching Toronto. The driver thought you were high on cocaine because of your nosebleed and the way you… well, you sort of freaked out. He said he was going to call the police,” I added.

  Sebastian used his black t-shirt to wipe the blood from his upper lip and nose, barely pausing in his stride as he did so. His expression was hard to read. I thought he might be angry.

  “This way,” he instructed, taking the next right turn and getting us off the main road where we’d been dropped off. “We need to find a map or a phone book - or something, and figure out where we are and how far it is to your father’s house from here. If we can hitch a ride, we still might make it in time…”

  It was our only hope and it wasn’t much of one. There were too many “if’s” to this plan. It all depended on if we could make it to my father’s tonight. And if he agreed to help us. And if he could get us out of the city tomorrow. And if we could stay out of the Others’ clutches until then. If, if, i
f, if. It was the only plan we had though.

  We criss-crossed up and down the streets, always on the lookout for someone chasing us and for a sign of where we were and how far it was to where we needed to be.

  We eventually confirmed that we were in fact on the outskirts of Toronto. We decided the best course of action would be to find a phone book and look up my father’s address, then try to either ride a city bus or catch a cab there. It took us nearly half an hour to find a phone booth – precious time that we didn’t have but every time we tried to ask in a store for a phone book we were denied. It was a frustrating and frightening setback; another obvious indication of the Others’ proximity.

  I leafed through the thick, worn out phone book in the booth we had stopped at, trying to ignore the stains on the pages and the stickiness to the cover. It was a relief to find my father’s name and address fairly easily – I hadn’t been certain that he’d have his number listed. There was even a map of the different areas in Toronto in the front of the phone book, but when we eventually found my father’s address on the map, all of our hopes came crashing down.

  “He lives on the other side of the city,” I quietly announced. My father and his new wife Dahlia, lived at least fifty kilometers away.

  I looked to Sebastian for hope. His face was pale and drawn, faint purplish bags shadowed his large, hollow eyes. “Let’s try and catch a bus,” he said as he took my hand and led me away. There was no hope in his voice though, only despair and defeat.

  We walked slowly after that, our feet dragging with each step as the sun began to set. A few blocks away we found a bus shelter and we sat down together on the bench. I felt like curling up in Sebastian’s arms and falling asleep for the rest of my life. It would have been the perfect escape. Sebastian pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his backpack that he must have bought earlier at the gas station. I didn’t bother to comment or complain as he lit a cigarette and began quietly smoking, blowing perfectly shaped rings out that knotted together into complicated Celtic knots in the warm night arm. I rested my head on his shoulder despite the occasional trail of cigarette smoke that wafted my way. We watched the traffic whiz by and wanted a bus to come with every fiber of our beings. We waited, and waited.