Silver Dew
Page 12
I gasped, completely taken by surprise. I was abruptly overwhelmed by the emotions I was feeling, by the confusion of my conflicting desires. “No… it is forbidden. I could never do that to you. If the Sisterhood even suspected…” My hushed voice began to tremble with fear, not for myself but at the thought of risking his life.
“Hush,” he soothed, gathering me in his arms and pulling me against his warm, strong chest before I could object. No one had ever tried to comfort me before Seamus; no one had ever dared suggest I might need to be comforted. He saw all the strength and weakness within me in a way that no one else ever could. He was the source of the weakness within me and yet perhaps he was also my greatest strength.
I gathered my will, preparing to pull away, to deny my heart as I knew I must but his sudden, hesitant, shaky breath shattered my attempted control.
“Don’t deny me, please. You’ll destroy me if you leave me now.”
His fingers slid through my hair, gently tipping my face up towards his but it was I who leant in without thought, inhaling his breath and losing all sense of reason as my lips pressed against his for the first time.
I closed my eyes as I gave in to his desire and to mine. It was a sweet release after fighting it for what had felt like an eternity. I became lost in a world where there was nothing but his warm, strong embrace and his gentle, sweet lips, and a fiery passion that threatened to consume us both. My return to reality was slow and reluctant, beginning with the awareness of a mild scent of lavender in the air and the warmth of the afternoon sun on my skin. My eyelashes fluttered as I reopened my eyes, the world around me instantly brighter, more vibrant and beautiful than ever before. I knew that I would never again see the world with the same eyes.
Seamus’ smile was joyous, his eyes flooded with the love that I had often glimpsed through the clouded, grayish-blue haze. I spoke quickly, not wanting to give him false hope.
“I want to be with you, Seamus. But I’m afraid that it might not be what you really and truly want,” I hesitantly confessed. It felt so strange to be admitting such a weakness aloud.
“You’re all that I want,” he assured me. “Unless your magic has deceived me so that I can’t trust my own heart,” he added with a laugh.
I found myself swallowing hard, fixing him with my piercing, ice-blue stare.
“And what if it has?”
His smile didn’t fade for a second. “Then I’m more than happy to be bewitched. I know what I want, Caoilinn. Don’t you?”
“I’m not certain you understand what it would mean, to be my mate. We couldn’t stay here; we’d only be able to hide what we’d done for so long. Some of the Sisters at the temple are already suspicious. You’d have to leave your family behind you - forever. You’d have to give up everything – your family, your friends, your life, your humanity.”
A crease settled between his dark brows. “What do you mean?”
“The mating ceremony would commit us to one another for life, and my life is limitless Seamus.” He watched me expressionlessly, his eyes growing more serious and intense by the second. “I’m a year older than you Seamus but I look like I could be years younger. I’ve stopped aging and I won’t ever again – I can’t anymore. If you choose to be with me, I’m afraid you wouldn’t age either. You would never grow old, you could never die. It truly would be forever.”
“I never want to be without you,” he answered solemnly. “I understand what that means.”
“But for us to join on equal terms, I’d have to grant you the same ability as mine. I can’t see how we could be together any other way but that would mean granting you the same blessing and the same curse that I suffer with each and every day, just so that I can be happy, just so that I will no longer have to be alone.”
“You’re so selfish,” he gently teased, “only thinking of yourself. My life, my happiness, my heart and soul is already yours. You speak of our future and our happiness now. I won’t live and allow you to be alone - ever. This is what I want too.”
“But there will be no going back. Once I give the ability to access the Lost Magic to another, there’s no possible way I can take it back,” I warned. “Living this way… it’s not easy.”
“I know. But living without you – it’s impossible for me now.”
I stared back at him, searching his eyes for the truth, desperately trying to read his soul. That strange shadow of guilt passed over my heart once more.
“I’m afraid it’s wrong for me to want this, to want you.”
“How can it be wrong? This - us, it is all that is right in the world.” I didn’t argue so he moved closer to me, gently brushing a loose strand of hair back from my face. “I love you, Caoilinn. Please, will you take me as your mate?”
“I love you,” I whispered back, gazing into the eternity of his eyes. “And, yes, I will take you, Seamus – all of you, forever. Forgive me.”
MY EYES SNAPPED open as I sat up straight. Disorientation overwhelmed me, my head spun and my mind reeled. I struggled to stand, panicking as I realized something was holding me down, trapping me in this unfamiliar and noisy place. I began clawing at the buckle, my breath coming in shallow pants and abruptly catching in my chest as I realized what I was doing - I was attacking my seatbelt.
“Hush.” Sebastian’s hand was over mine instantly, undoing my seatbelt with a flick of his fingers. He twisted his body towards mine, his hand reaching for my face. “Calm down, Gracelynn. It’s okay, we’re safe. We’re on the plane – we’re just landing in Manchester.” His reassuring words were as steady as his eyes.
I took a slow, deep breath and nodded, relaxing against his familiar touch. I looked around me, taking in the dark blue, first-class seats, the bright lights and noisy hum of the plane, and all the passengers, reading, listening to music and talking to their companions as the plane began to slowly circle the airport below. I took another steadying breath as I adjusted myself to it all. It was hard to believe that I’d slept for the entire flight.
“I’m sorry. I… had a bad dream. I was confused for a moment.”
“I think we’ve been spending too much time together,” he joked, his twinkling eyes inviting me to laugh. I didn’t.
“You asked Caoilinn to be your mate?” I whispered softly. His eyes widened with surprise, his pupils rapidly dilating then shrinking. “Was that like getting married?” A strange surge of emotion twisted my gut as I watched him, confusing and disorienting me once more. I remembered the look in his eye when he had stared at her, when he had confessed his eternal love, and as irrational as it might have been, I was jealous.
“Yes, it was like getting married,” he answered cautiously. He studied my face intently as he spoke, obviously confused by the emotions I was trying to hide. “Did you remember the ceremony?” I shook my head and he smiled mysteriously. “You should try and remember - or not,” he hastily added upon reading the look in my eyes. His expression became puzzled but I hurried to speak and distract him, annoyed by my own foolishness. I lowered my voice even more.
“She was talking about the ‘Lost Magic’ and how she could give the ability to access it to others.”
A strange expression briefly crossed Sebastian’s face as he heard me speak the phrase out loud. He considered for several long seconds, his eyes squinting slightly as he struggled to sort through the millions of memories that crowded his mind.
“She told you that once the ability had been given to someone else, it was impossible to take back,” I continued. “Do you remember?”
“Caoilinn thought that was the truth, yes,” he slowly agreed. “But there have been other things she thought were true that you have proved are not. She was not as all-knowing as she wanted to seem, she was barely eighteen years old when she died.”
“You don’t think that she… may have knowingly misled you then?”
“No,” he answered firmly. “She always spoke the truth as she thought she knew it.”
“Sebastian, I’m not
so certain–”
“She would not have lied.” His tone was unexpectedly firm, almost angry for a moment. He had never spoken to me with even the slightest edge to his words before and I found myself instantly hurt.
“There must be a way to stop the Others – I’m sure of it,” he continued more mildly. “We’ll be touching down in just a few minutes and then we’ll be boarding our next plane to Ireland within the hour. Once we arrive in Belfast, I figure we’ll have at least twelve hours, maybe even twenty-four, before the Others catch up to us. That gives us almost a full day to find the answers we want with our combined ability unimpeded by theirs.”
“Twelve hours? Maybe twenty-four?” I quietly echoed. I was surprised. I hadn’t spent much time considering what we would do once we got to Ireland or what would happen once the Others caught up to us. Ireland had seemed a magical sanctuary in my mind that once reached, would offer a respite from the stressful race we’d been involved in all summer.
“It’ll be enough time,” he reassured me but I could sense the hesitance in his projected confidence. I looked more closely at his face and noticed the faint, dark circles beneath his eyes and the weariness that weighed on his handsome features. I realized he was just as exhausted as I, even more so as he allowed himself to sleep so little lately.
“It’ll be enough time,” I agreed, trying to reassure him too. He smiled tiredly, acknowledging my weak effort. It’ll have to be enough time, I thought as we linked our hands together once more and I rested my head against his shoulder. And as the plane slowly circled down and prepared for landing, suddenly I could feel it too. I was overwhelmed by the sudden certainty that there would be answers in Ireland, that they were just waiting for us to find them. Only I wasn’t so certain that we would like what we might find.
Chapter Seven – Magic of the Land
Sebastian and I didn’t talk much on our next flight over to Ireland. There was a tension between us that should have been eased with our decreasing proximity to the Others, but for some strange reason, it only seemed to get worse. Initially, Sebastian had claimed he didn’t want to sleep, afraid that the terror and confusion of his nightmares would confuse his waking mind once more and upset the other passengers (or even worse, an Air Marshall). But, after the first ten minutes of the flight, he wordlessly tipped his chair back and closed his eyes with a sigh, admitting defeat and giving in to what his body and mind truly wanted and needed. Thankfully, he slept deeply and soundly.
I watched Sebastian sleep for a while, studying his worn yet handsome face as I worried about the future, about him and about us. I began to drift in and out of sleep. My dreams were a disturbing combination of imagination and reality, full of doubt, shame and regret. Eventually I gave up my tossing and turning and chose to watch Sebastian once more. He didn’t move once, his chest barely rising with each deep and steady breath. He slept like the dead, completely unmoving for nearly the whole one hour flight. It wasn’t until I lightly placed my hand on his leg that his eyes popped open.
“We’re landing.”
He blinked once in response, taking a moment for his eyes to focus properly on my face. I was relieved to see the clarity and the instant recognition within them. He didn’t look as troubled either, the familiar sparkle having returned to his eyes.
Sebastian tipped his seat back up and fastened his seatbelt, peering excitedly around me and out the window to the green and vibrant country that could now be glimpsed below.
“Ireland,” he breathed, a smile in his voice as he exhaled.
Despite having the window seat, I hadn’t really bothered to examine the view during our flight, preferring to watch Sebastian over the golden, sunlit clouds. I turned now and followed his gaze out the window, taking in the expansive country below with a quiet gasp.
I was initially surprised by how flat the land appeared, unused to such an exposed landscape with no mountains in sight. As the plane slowly descended, the gentle ebb and flow of the land became more obvious – the rolling hills, the ocean that sparkled under the early evening sun, the fields and trees, the outlying rural homes and the rooftops of the city itself. I couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful, impossibly green countryside that seemed to be rising up to meet us. Everything seemed to glow beneath the sun’s golden rays and I could feel the spirit and throbbing energy of this magical land rising up to catch with my breath in my throat. Strangely, it felt almost like I was coming home.
“You are.”
I hadn’t realized I’d spoken aloud until Sebastian responded. I turned to him, still feeling awed.
“It’s beautiful.” It was all I could think to say though it didn’t come close to describing how I was feeling in that moment.
“It always is,” he agreed with a pleased smile. “I’ve come back to Ireland a few times over the years. It always changes but somehow, it always feels the same.”
I nodded my agreement, understanding exactly what he meant.
Minutes later, when the plane touched down, I felt a thrill of excitement run through me. The darker thoughts and doubts that had begun twisting their way through my mind during the flight were banished by that first glimpse of Ireland. I no longer felt afraid, I no longer felt unsure. I knew that we were doing the right thing now, that we were meant to be here. I was certain that Ireland had important secrets to share with us and my heart was ready to hear them.
It was a whole different experience disembarking the plane and navigating our way through customs and security at Belfast City Airport. I felt like I was running towards something exciting and important instead of running away from danger and despair. Sebastian and I kept grinning excitedly at each other, especially when it became apparent that our wants (or at least Sebastian’s) were no longer inhibited by the Others’. We didn’t have to wait in any lines, always finding ourselves right at the front of each line up and we moved through the airport swiftly, despite the crowds. When I mentioned that I was hungry, we suddenly found ourselves being handed complimentary coupons for a café within the airport that entitled us to free drinks and sandwiches. Still aware of the crunch for time, we took our drinks in to-go cups and packed the delicious-looking sandwiches into Sebastian’s backpack. As we were nearing the airport’s main doors, we passed an ATM that claimed to work with all International banks. Sebastian smiled confidently as I checked my bank account balance to discover someone (most likely my father) had deposited nearly $5,000. I withdrew several hundred pounds and placed them safely into my wallet, glad to not have to worry about money at least. Everything was falling smoothly into place. I felt another thrill of hope and optimism shiver up my spine and rise into my heart.
“Shall we go shopping? Or should we proceed?” Sebastian teased.
I rolled my eyes at him. “Let’s go.” I started to march towards the wall of glass doors, my eyes already drinking in the bright sunlight and warm blue sky outside the airport’s exit. I suddenly hesitated. “Where are we going? Do you know?”
Sebastian’s eyes were full of secrets – and amusement. The intensity in his eyes spoke of promises that made my heart skip a beat.
“It’s nearly seven. We only have a few hours left of daylight… did you get enough rest on the plane?” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a mysterious half-smile as he waited for my answer.
“Yes,” I cautiously replied.
“Good. I hope you want to stay awake because we won’t be sleeping tonight.”
“What will we be doing?” My heart fluttered nervously in my chest.
Sebastian suddenly pulled me closer, his gray eyes burning into mine as he smiled. The noise and chaos of the airport faded away and I was aware of nothing beyond his warm embrace and the heart-stopping look in his eyes. I had to struggle to focus, to remind myself of where we were and what we were doing there.
“We have the whole night to explore, to trust in each others’ wants…” He gently brushed his fingertips against my cheek, in a gesture that was both tender and thrilling.
I laughed softly, trying to lighten the sudden intensity between us that was threatening to steal my breath away.
“And most importantly, for me to learn how to control my ability,” I reminded him as I danced a step back. “You’re avoiding my question – where are we going?”
Sebastian’s smile was full of mischief as he shrugged. “We want to find answers here – so we will.”
I froze in my tracks. “That’s your big plan?”
“Its brilliance lies in its simplicity.”
“Sebastian,” I began, only half-trying to keep the exasperation from my voice.
“Just trust me, Gracelynn. Trust yourself.”
We began slowly moving towards the large glass doors of the airport’s exit, carried along by the crowd. Sebastian stood before me, holding the door open and inviting me to take a leap of faith.
I took a deep breath, sensing that this was an important moment. I tried to focus all of my energy and all of my wants as I boldly stepped forward and through the door.
“Let’s go.”
I flashed Sebastian a quick smile as I stepped past him, leading the way outside. It felt right to be doing so for after all, even if this was his country, this trip was more about me than him - if it were possible to untwine our lives and hearts enough to make the distinction.
I immediately noticed the difference in the air as we stepped outside. There was a slight dampness to it despite the sun’s warmth that carried faint hints of the scents of the land. The air tasted differently too, fresher and fuller than the dry, recirculated air of the plane and airport. The sun, though bright, carried only a lingering warmth to it as it was slowly sliding downwards to the distant horizon. I was glad I’d packed a sweater near the top of my backpack and was about to take it out when a taxi pulled up in front of us. Without thinking or questioning what I was doing, I reached for the back door and hopped inside, Sebastian was right behind me.