by Suzi Davis
“You can’t,” I stated flatly. She had asked the very question that I had been asking myself constantly since I awoke. How could I be trusted?
“Well, at least we agree on one thing,” Mags muttered, shaking her head as she began to take plates and cups out of the cupboards.
“And how do you know so much about the Others? How do we know that we can trust you?” I demanded.
Mags spun back around with a smirk on her face. “Sebastian can always trust me, because I’m his wife. You should probably watch your back.” There was an undercurrent behind her teasing words that made me defensive.
“And I know about the Others because I thought it would be in the best interest of both Sebastian and myself, if I kept an eye on them while I was looking for my husband and awaiting his return. Prudent, don’t you think?”
I ignored her smug expression and stood up, stretching my sore back and tense shoulders as I did so.
“So tell me what you know.” I began folding both mine and Sebastian’s blankets while I waited for her to begin. After several long and stubborn minutes, Mags began speaking.
“Sebastian is more powerful than any of the Others, including myself. Still, he needed my help to erase the Others’ memories of us. Some of them had been our companions for hundreds of years, they depended upon us for our guidance and for our companionship – we were a family. We could only erase their memories one by one. It was a difficult task but Sebastian’s happiness was worth it, only, he wasn’t happy. There was something bothering him still, sucking him down into this deep pit of depression and madness.”
Mags glared at me accusingly before continuing. “I awoke one morning and he was gone. I wanted to find him but his magic overpowered my own and he remained hidden. I could still remember him and since I knew eventually he’d come back to me, I decided I should make preparations for when he did.
“I kept an eye on the Others and watched their movements with interest. While Sebastian and I had made them forget us, their creators, we hadn’t thought to erase their memories of you, Caoilinn. They knew there was a soul out there somewhere who possessed unheard of knowledge and control of the Lost Magic, and they remembered the legend that this ancient Priestess would be searching for her lost love. They knew it was in their best interests to keep you and “your love” apart - at all costs. I watched as they added another, from the original damned twelve to the current thirteen, and they began searching–”
“Don’t you mean twelve?” I interrupted as the image of Walter’s lifeless body and glazed-over eyes flashed through my mind.
“No, thirteen. The one you killed had only recently joined their ranks. I had heard rumors but wasn’t going to count him in their numbers until I confirmed his existence myself. It was the first time they had increased their numbers over thirteen or initiated one as old as he was rumored to be. It takes a great deal of power to awaken the Lost Magic within another – we had thought only Sebastian and yourself were powerful enough to do so but apparently the Others were able to combine their abilities to add to their numbers after we left them. This Walter must have done something truly valuable for The Order to go to the trouble...”
“He found Sebastian and he nearly killed him. He kept an eye on me and he ensured my mother kept me and Sebastian apart,” I told her quietly. I moved closer to the kitchen, taking a seat on one of the stools on the living room side of the counter.
“That would do it.” Mags angrily cracked an egg into the frying pan she’d been heating up and then swore loudly as tiny pieces of the shell were mixed in with the runny whites.
I hesitated before asking my next question aloud. “How was Sebastian able to create so many of the Others?” Mags stared back at me blankly, forcing me to continue. I swallowed down my irritation along with my pride – I needed to know. “Caoilinn thought an intimate connection was necessary to give Seamus the ability to control the Lost Magic…”
“The better you know someone, the easier it is to give them access to the Lost Magic. To give as much magic as you gave to Sebastian you would need to know them very ‘intimately’.” She suddenly smirked. “But don’t you worry, he may have had close friendships with all of the Others, but he was never so close to them as he was to me. That’s why I’m almost as powerful as Sebastian.”
I had guessed as much but to hear her confirm it… I fought the sudden violent urge to hit her in the face. My gut twisted painfully as I struggled to control my emotions. I tried to focus on the facts at hand and quickly changed the subject.
“So what is ‘The Order’?”
“It’s the society that the Others formed after Sebastian and I left. There are seven hidden temples of The Order set up around the world. They use civilians like Walter and offer them promises of eternal life and limitless powers if they obey and serve them; it’s your typical cult organization. They have connections everywhere.”
“But… why? Can’t they get whatever they want anyway?”
“They couldn’t find you, Caoilinn,” Mags pointed out. “They had their suspicions about you before they could remember Sebastian but there were other young women they were watching too. Somehow, your magic was still protecting you even before you reawakened it. Then once Sebastian started wanting to know if there were other people like him, the Others’ memories began to slowly return. They weren’t immediately certain, so they were merely keeping an eye on you and Sebastian. Once you made him remember everything, the mental blocks Sebastian and I had put in place were shattered. The Others remembered everything too and they started coming after you both immediately. I wanted to follow them but something kept redirecting me back to Berlin.”
I frowned, distracted. There was something about what Mags had said that just didn’t sit right. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was.
The apartment was suddenly very quiet aside from the sizzling of the eggs cooking in the pan and the steam rising from the coffee maker. The sound of the shower had turned off and an eerie silence hung in the air along with the strong scent of coffee. Mags leaned over the counter towards me, her green eyes flashing suspiciously. She lowered her voice, ensuring that only I would hear what she was about to say.
“The main temple of The Order is in Greece, I know exactly where it is and I will take you there. I’ll help to overpower the Others and bring an end to their existence – I’ll slit all their throats myself if I have to. But just know, I’ll be watching you too and if you so much as make one move that I think threatens Sebastian or I…”
She held my gaze steadily, the threat clear and bright in her eyes. To both of our surprise, I smiled. Mags straightened up, leaning away from me uneasily.
“I will never be a danger to Sebastian - you don’t have to worry about that. But you should probably watch your back,” I added. Mags didn’t smile back, she looked pissed off and also, just a little less sure of herself. I didn’t know why I was antagonizing her when I knew that I needed her help… it was so hard not to hate her.
The bathroom door opened and Sebastian stepped out, his hair damp and tousled, his clothes fresh and clean. He smiled a little uncertainly, first at me and then at Mags.
“Everything alright?” he asked, looking back and forth between us.
“Fine,” we answered together in tight, flat voices.
“I’m going to have a shower now,” I announced. I didn’t really want to leave Mags and Sebastian alone again but I desperately wanted to escape from the room.
I grabbed some clothes from my own bag and then headed towards the bathroom door. Sebastian hadn’t moved and stood blocking my way, watching me with his sad, ancient eyes.
“Did Mags tell you what the plan is?”
I nodded, only briefly meeting his gaze. It was too hard to be standing this close to him but to feel so infinitely far apart. He moved closer, angling his body away from Mags and leaning down towards my ear. I nervously held my breath.
“I know you don’t want to talk to me but if yo
u’ll just listen... I owe you an explanation. There’s so much I wanted to say to you yesterday but you didn’t give me the chance. You didn’t want to hear me,” he said in a low voice, only meant for me.
The urge to escape became even stronger. I wasn’t certain I was strong enough to deny him. “We’ll talk later,” I hurriedly agreed, side-stepping around him. I glanced at him quickly and was surprised to see he looked as relieved to postpone the conversation as I felt. He nodded his agreement. He still looked sad; there was a new heaviness to his eyes.
“Enjoy your shower,” he said politely, though it sounded forced.
“Enjoy your breakfast,” I answered just as quickly. I made an effort not to slam the door behind me as I rushed into the sanctity of the bathroom and away from the love of my life – of my existence, whom I feared I may have lost forever.
Chapter Twelve – A New Design
Just like Mags had wanted, we were on a train by noon and headed south out of Berlin towards Germany’s border. The cost of our passes had been much more expensive than I expected – over $1,500 for the three of us. I was glad my father had provided us with the funds necessary for this trip but I tried not to let my thoughts linger on why he had suddenly become so helpful; the guilt and shame was even worse than before.
We would be passing through six countries and traveling for a total of three and a half days before we reached Thessaloniki, Greece. We all wanted to get to Greece as quickly as possible and this ensured the convenience of direct routes and quick transfers when necessary. I still couldn’t understand why we weren’t just flying directly to Greece and when I voiced this question aloud, Mags met my curious gaze with a withering glare.
“The Order is meeting in two weeks time to discuss what to do about you and Sebastian – the whole of The Order will be there. There will be some discussion but it is obvious that they will primarily convene to combine their wants and their magic to stop you both. The ceremony will be performed on the night of the full moon. There will only be a few members of The Order, six at the very most, who would be near the temple already. They will want to find us before then and will be watching the airports. But our magic should be strong enough to confuse them - as long as we all want the same thing,” she added with a brief sneer in my direction.
“Stop it, Mags,” Sebastian warned, tiredly. “Gracelynn is with us on this.”
I pressed my lips together firmly, biting the words that were fighting to spring to life on my lips. What had he meant by that? Did he doubt I was “with them” on everything then? I immediately felt angry and hurt but Mags allowed me no time to recover.
“There are too many trains in Greece for the Others to watch them all and as long as we don’t want them to find us, they shouldn’t. We should have just enough time after we arrive to deal with the first five before the rest start trickling in. They’re coming from all over the world – some may not arrive until days before the ceremony but others will begin to appear immediately.”
“It doesn’t give us much time,” I pointed out.
“If you have a better plan, Caoilinn, I’m dying to hear it,” Mags snapped.
“My name is Grace.”
“Whatever.”
We glared at each other for several long seconds. I was starting to really, really dislike Mags and it was becoming increasingly difficult to remember why I shouldn’t.
Sebastian didn’t seem to notice the tension between me and Mags. He stared out the window of our small private compartment on the train, his own inner demons weighing down his handsome face. When we had boarded the train, Mags had immediately (and possessively) taken the seat beside Sebastian. I almost wished she hadn’t, as now I would have to sit across from him for the next four and a half hours until we arrived in the Czech Republic. I turned my attention to the window, watching the landscape blur by in a daze as I tried my best not to look his way.
The idea of traveling across Europe with Sebastian would once have seemed like a dream come true but it had turned into such a horrible and twisted nightmare that all I wanted now was to go home. I couldn’t enjoy the sights we were passing and so I didn’t even try. I desperately missed Vancouver Island’s mountains and valleys, the rocky beaches, the tall cedar and fir trees, the farms, the small towns, the beautiful city of Victoria that had become my home. I longed for the cool salty breeze that was always rising off the ocean and the beautiful tapestry of fall colors that would be splashed throughout the leaves in Beacon Hill park by now. I was miserable and afraid and homesick. It was almost a relief to know that one way or another, this nightmare would soon be over with.
I became distracted when Mags began talking to Sebastian in a low and intimate whisper. I tried to ignore them but it was hard not to glance their way as they sat directly across from me in the small and confining space. I became even more jealous when I realized that Mags had successfully pulled Sebastian from his silent, brooding thoughts and he started to smile and answer her in a quiet voice of his own. They were joking around about something in Gaelic and apparently quite enjoying each others’ company. I tried my best not to listen and stubbornly closed my eyes, wincing every time I heard Mags’ loud, joyful laugh and Sebastian’s quiet chuckles. It was a horrible, torturous train ride and was only the first of several in the days to come. I knew I deserved this punishment and heart-wrenching pain but it didn’t make it any easier to bear.
The quiet murmur of Sebastian’s voice in the background of my thoughts along with the train’s gentle bumps and rhythmic sway lulled me towards a strange kind of sleep. I was still aware of where I was and the people around me but I had also sunk so deeply into myself that my pain was numbed and my thoughts were strangely lucid and dreamlike.
I daydreamed in this quiet, gray place, letting my thoughts wander and leaving my pain behind me. It was within this peaceful sanctuary in my mind that a design began to form within my thoughts. The looping, twisting, thick black lines of a pattern gathered and took shape before I was even consciously aware of what was happening. My eyes snapped open.
“I need some paper, and a pen,” I announced, looking directly at Sebastian for the first time since we had boarded the train.
Mags and him were both staring at me in surprise. Sebastian looked unexpectedly guilty, suddenly leaning away from her.
“I thought you were sleeping…”
“Here,” Mags interrupted. She tossed a pen at me and then began digging through the pockets of her leather jacket. When she didn’t find what she was looking for she reached over and into Sebastian’s jacket pocket, digging around without hesitation. He looked as if he were about to object but before he could say a word she triumphantly pulled out a wrinkled yet clean-looking napkin.
“Use this.”
I snatched it from her hands, desperately trying to ignore them both and to hold the dark pattern in my mind. The pen trembled in my hand for a second as I took a deep, slow breath and worked to collect my thoughts. I then slowly began to draw, the first line of the pattern stretching out and then looping back on itself, my pen moving in a graceful dance across the wrinkled napkin.
“What-?” Sebastian began to ask. I was dimly aware of Mags hushing him. I shut them both out, pushed the world far away and let my mind find that quiet, powerful place waiting within.
It had been a long time since I’d let myself get lost in a drawing like this. It was peaceful and relaxing, and the perfect escape. As the design neared completion and I began to rise out of my trance, I became aware of exactly what it was I had drawn. My pen came to a halting stop. I fought the strong urge to tear up the drawing and throw it away. I immediately knew it was wrong.
“It’s part of your tattoo,” Mags stated calmly, speaking to Sebastian. There was something hidden deep within the thickly accented tones of her voice, an edge of uncertainty perhaps. “I think it’s from the one on your back,” she continued. I was surprised when she turned and addressed me. “What does it mean?”
I didn’t a
nswer immediately. I frowned down at the drawing I had created, trying to understand it. I felt like I had known just a second ago exactly what it was but the certainty was rapidly fading.
I had been upset when I started drawing. I was angry at Mags and myself, and even Sebastian. I felt tortured and tormented by the present situation and the knowledge of the horrible things that Caoilinn had done. My emotions had summoned the power within me, had brought memories and knowledge from my past life forward to the present and I had created this design, this focal point for a spell that would… I quietly gasped.
“What?” Mags demanded. Sebastian placed a warning hand on her arm. The sight of him touching her made me flinch. He leant towards me, his voice and eyes patient and full of only half-buried pain.
“It’s okay, Gracelynn. If you don’t know…”
“I know.” I dropped my eyes in shame. “It’s a focal point, almost like instructions for a spell that… that causes pain, excruciating pain. It’s a method of torture that eventually causes death.” I spoke quietly, in a chilled voice that barely carried across the small space in our travel compartment.
My pronouncement was met with shocked silence, even Mags seemed stunned. I was so disgusted at this revelation, at this black and twisted spell that Caoilinn had discovered, that Sebastian had protected for hundreds of years having had it encrypted within the beautiful design of his tattoo, that I had to fight the nausea that was rapidly rising within me. I stared at the beige swirls in the dark brown, worn carpet that covered the floor in our compartment and focused on breathing in and out.
“We could use that spell on the Others,” Mags suggested.
“No,” Sebastian and I objected together. I briefly met his eye, appreciating his support and then dropped my gaze in shame once more. I was horrified by the cold, monstrous, darkness within me.
