by Suzi Davis
Sebastian shook his head and surprisingly, I found myself fighting an amused smile.
“She’s right. We might as well get up and get going – we’ve got a lot to do today. Primarily, avoiding The Others and searching for clues,” I agreed.
“Clues to what?” Mags demanded. She turned her back to us and then abruptly tugged her t-shirt up and over her head.
“Geez, Mags,” Sebastian muttered in annoyance as he turned his back.
She ignored him, keeping her own back turned as she continued to change into a fresh shirt.
“Don’t be such a prude Sebastian. Clues to what?” she repeated.
Again, I wasn’t certain how much we could trust her but it would be a lot easier to just tell her the truth – I wanted to be able to tell her the truth, I realized. I wanted to trust her, a little, so I did.
“Clues of how to stop the Others and take away their magic.”
She spun around, her expression incredulous.
“Wait, you don’t even know what you’re doing?”
“I have an idea.”
“Do you?” She fixed me with a hard stare but I refused to back down, matching her emerald glare with an ice-blue one of my own. “I think you’re playing a dangerous game and it looks like somehow you’ve dragged me into it. It’s safe to turn around now, Sebastian.”
He slowly complied, his expression one of aggravation.
“Let’s go get breakfast, then we can try to figure out where to start.”
“And smokes!” Mags chimed in.
“I already know where to start,” I calmly announced. They both turned to stare at me, Mags skeptical and Sebastian surprised. “The tattoo along your ribs – the hieroglyphics. It’s the only clue left that we haven’t deciphered. It’s got to mean something.”
Sebastian slowly nodded, looking thoughtful.
“There’s also the text that forms the tattoo over my heart…” his hand drifted to his chest as he spoke.
“I know what that means,” I quietly answered. Mags raised an eyebrow, Sebastian looked at me sharply but didn’t say anything. My tone had made it obvious I didn’t want to discuss it just then. “Breakfast?” I reminded him.
“And smokes,” Mags added as we picked up our bags and left our room.
There was a small store downstairs in the hostel that thankfully sold cigarettes. Sebastian also purchased a map of the city, confessing that he hadn’t been to Greece in quite some time and hadn’t seen much locally that was familiar.
It was nice to see Thessaloniki in the daytime and to start to get a real feel for the country. Yesterday was such a blur, I felt like I was just arriving in Greece today.
The city rose up and away from the Mediterranean Ocean, the clean, white-washed buildings crowded in close together in rising rows. The city was exactly how I would have imagined it. The traditional Greek architecture of pillars and arches marked the city streets with a distinctive European flare and blended with a touch of modernity like wi-fi in the cafes and neon signs in windows.
It was early but there were already quite a few people out and about on the streets. I liked a city that woke up with the sun. It was refreshing and invigorating, it gave me hope. Even Mags’ spirits seemed lifted as she happily puffed on a cigarette, striding along just behind us.
We stopped to eat breakfast at a small café not too far from the hostel we had stayed at. It was the perfect time to sit down and discuss our plans and to pore over the map Sebastian had purchased. There wasn’t a lot to say; we really didn’t have a lot to go on and I had the definite feeling that we were grasping at straws.
“There’s a library not too far from here. Should we try that first?” I suggested, taking a sip of water.
“We might as well,” Sebastian agreed.
“Ugh! You want to go to a library? But it’s such a beautiful day and we’re in Greece! Can’t we go to a beach or something?” Mags somehow managed to grumble around the cigarette she was lighting.
“Mags, this concerns you just as much as it does us,” Sebastian reminded her. “We’re not here on vacation – this is serious. We need to focus all our wants on the same things here; we must find a way to stop the Others and keep them from finding us for as long as possible.”
Mags frowned at Sebastian. “Too serious,” she said to him then turned to me. “Too boring,” she labeled me. “What the hell am I doing with you two again?”
I tried to keep my jaw relaxed and stop myself from grinding my teeth in irritation. A smile twitched at the corner of Sebastian’s mouth. I tried to give him a disapproving look but he was careful not to meet my eye.
We decided to walk to the library since it was close to where we’d stopped and Mags insisted that we experience a little more of Greece first-hand. It turned out to be a surprisingly good idea and it was nice to relax just for a little while, to stroll under the hot morning sun and watch the city awaken, to take in all the sights and smells and sounds. It was even nicer when after Sebastian’s hand awkwardly brushed against mine several times, he suddenly linked his fingers through mine. He flexed his fingers, squeezing my hand and rubbing his thumb gently against the base of my own. My heart skipped a beat and for a little while, the tension between us eased and things almost felt normal again although our relationship had never truly been ‘normal’ by any standard definition.
We found the library easily. Thessaloniki was a surprisingly easy city to find our way around in, even though Mags couldn’t remember ever being there anymore and we were largely dependent upon our map.
The library was located in a more modern-looking area of town. It was a fairly large building that was open early on weekdays. The doors were just being unlocked as we arrived, a comforting reassurance that our wants were still influencing events around us. The building was air-conditioned too – another blessing on this hot summer day.
We split up upon entering – I was going to search the computer systems, Mags was going to start searching the shelves and Sebastian was going to talk to the librarians. It was a disappointment when Sebastian let go of my hand and started walking up the stairs to the second floor but I knew I had to focus, I knew we had work to do.
“Wait,” Mags called after him, surprising both of us. He slowly turned and walked back down to where we stood. “I’m going to need to see it.”
“See what?” Sebastian asked.
“Your tattoo.”
“Oh. Yes, I suppose that would help,” he hesitantly agreed. A sudden flare of jealousy caught me off-guard but I quickly swallowed it back down, reminding myself that I wanted to trust Sebastian and that he deserved my trust.
He glanced around before reluctantly lifting up the bottom of his t-shirt, exposing his flat stomach and the four hieroglyphics that were tattooed down the left side of his rib cage. Without hesitation, Mags stepped forward and ran her fingers over the markings. She started to smile a little to herself as she began tracing each symbol with her finger. That was when Sebastian abruptly pulled back and I found myself quietly exhaling. It sounded almost like a hiss.
“Thanks, I think I should remember that,” she commented cheekily, flashing him a devilish grin.
“Uh, right,” he agreed, looking oddly flustered. Mags turned to smile at me, inviting me to join in her joke. “I’ll be upstairs,” Sebastian announced, glancing at me quickly before turning and heading back toward the stairs.
“Yes, let’s get started,” I agreed, attempting to keep my voice light and friendly. I remembered once when I would never have dreamed of doing anything remotely violent and now here I was, struggling not to slap Mags. I knew it was all just bravado even in my thoughts though – Mags was obviously tough and I was fairly certain she wouldn’t hesitate to hit me back and twice as hard. Not that I was ever really considering hitting her, of course.
Mags was still smirking as I walked away, heading towards the row of computers up against the library’s far wall. I tried to focus and concentrate on what I needed to do an
d not on what had just happened. It was like Mags was just trying to get under my skin. Apparently, even when she couldn’t remember all that had happened in the past, irritating me and flirting with Sebastian were just natural parts of who she was.
Over the next several hours my frustration and irritation only continued to increase. It seemed like nothing was going the way we wanted anymore and I was starting to get worried. Sebastian had spoken to all the librarians working that day and none of them could give us any useful tips or information so he had ended up joining Mags in her search. Neither of them could find anything that resembled the hieroglyphics of Sebastian’s tattoos in any of the books on the shelves, no clues, no hints – nothing.
“How are you making out?” Sebastian asked, taking the empty computer seat beside me. Mags stood directly behind me, tapping her fingers impatiently against the back of my chair.
“This system is infuriating!” I complained, struggling to keep my voice at a library-appropriate volume. “Every time I think I’ve found something useful, I click on the link and it doesn’t work or it redirects me back to the library’s main page. And there’s so much Greek and English mixed together that half the time I don’t even know what I’m looking at! I’m starting to wonder if the Others aren’t closer than we thought because it feels like someone definitely doesn’t want us to discover what those symbols mean.”
“We would have sensed the Others if they were that close,” Sebastian argued. “And they don’t know any more about my tattoos than we do. At least, I don’t think they do.”
“Are you sure you’re even doing it right?” Mags questioned, her fingers still tapping irritatingly behind me.
I clenched my teeth together and breathed through my nose, forcing myself to answer Mags calmly.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Well, it doesn’t look like you’re actually searching the Internet. I think you’re just searching the library’s internal database but if you click on here…” she reached right over my shoulder as she spoke, taking the mouse from my hand and clicking on a small box in the corner of the screen.
I leant away from her and she immediately moved in closer. I found myself rolling my chair up against Sebastian’s, reluctantly making room for her as she pushed her way forward.
“There!” she said triumphantly, gesturing to the screen.
“What did you do?” I asked, forgetting to be annoyed and just feeling relieved that we might have actually gotten somewhere.
“I extended the parameters of your search to include all the libraries across Greece and the world wide web. This is what came up under ‘rare Egyptian symbols and definitions’.”
I watched in amazement as she scrolled down the page. This website showed hundreds of different hieroglyphics and all you had to do was click on one to reveal its meaning. Within seconds Mags had found one of the symbols from Sebastian’s tattoo and decoded it.
“This symbol represents fertility or motherhood or family… there’s multiple interpretations. And this symbol looks like it could be a variation of the backbone of Osiris which represents strength and inner power. And this one looks sort of similar to the symbol for sacrifice or it could represent a violent death or destruction… and that’s it. I can’t find anything even close to the last symbol.”
“Okay. Well, that gives us a start at least. Mags, why don’t you keep looking on the computer? Gracelynn and I can have another go at the shelves now that we have a little more direction as to what to look for.”
“Sure,” Mags agreed with a shrug. “I’m taking a smoke break first though. Ugh, this is so boring!”
She stood up and walked away from us, her curved hips swaying the whole while and her reddish hair flaring out behind her.
“She’s something else,” I muttered with a little shake of my head.
Sebastian wisely chose not to comment.
We spent the rest of the day in the library with limited success. I hated to admit it but Mags did a lot better with the library’s computer system than I did. She found several titles of books, research papers and journal articles that might help us discover the meanings of the rest of Sebastian’s hieroglyphics or provide more information on those already uncovered. Unfortunately, only one of these titles was available in the Thessaloniki library – the others were all spread out across Greece and unavailable for request within the next few days. We did find one book, Mesopotamian Art, that showed a hieroglyphic that might be a variation of the fourth symbol of Sebastian’s tattoo. It was a symbol that represented worship and faith in the Gods, often used on the tombs of particularly zealous priests and royalty. There were so many possible meanings for each symbol and it was hard to find hieroglyphics that were identical to Sebastian’s, the best we could do was to find ones that were as similar as possible. I wasn’t even certain if we were looking in the right place anymore. The possible interpretations that we had discovered so far made little sense.
When the library closed that evening, we returned to the same hostel we had stayed at the night before feeling dejected and tense. The Others would surely be coming for us by now, they could arrive at any moment to take us to the ceremony that would be happening in only two nights’ time and we were no closer to discovering a way to stop them. I was starting to panic. I could tell Sebastian was still doubtful that there were any useful answers hidden in his last tattoo and Mags obviously thought my idea was a complete waste of time. But, it was all we had to go on and I was determined to use anything we had.
The only positive I could find from the day was that Sebastian and I were slowly growing closer again. I had almost enjoyed my time in the library with him, stealing glances at one another, our hands and bodies occasionally brushing together, speaking with our heads close and our voices soft, sharing our ideas and discussing possibilities. He had held my hand on the walk back to the hostel and it had felt almost as natural as before we met Mags – almost. It was hard to forget and move on from what had happened when Mags’ presence was a constant reminder of my guilt, my lack of faith, my mistakes and his indiscretions. And it was so hard to be patient with Mags too. I was still very angry with her and wanting to blame her for the situation we were in. I knew that wasn’t really fair. And I was also feeling guilty, very guilty. Because mixed in with her jokes and complaints and loud, somewhat obnoxious attitude, there was also fear and confusion and uncertainty, for which only I was to blame. She was trying to accept things as they were and not question too much about why her memory had been erased (because this was what both Sebastian and I wanted) but I could see her doubts. I’d catch her with a dazed, disoriented expression on her face or a confused frown, or with her eyes clenched tightly shut and her fingers digging into her temples as she fought the headaches her memory loss had left behind. The guilt ate away at me.
Mags was delighted that night when after eating dinner, Sebastian and I agreed to go for a walk with her down to the waterfront. It was just starting to get dark and the city was lighting up all around us. The air was warm and muggy still and I wiped sweat from my forehead as we set out and down the street, admiring the slow transition from day to night life. Thessaloniki really was a beautiful city and I wished I was able to enjoy it more. Even now, as I was trying to relax and take in the night, it was impossible to fully appreciate the beautiful scenery around me.
We lost Mags just as we approached the waterfront. There had been a loud and busy club we passed that she couldn’t resist. I had wanted to object when she said she was going dancing but Sebastian shrugged, stating, “What’s the worst she can get up to? Just let her go.” And even though I worried it was a mistake, it was too tempting to escape from her presence after spending almost every minute of the past week or so in her company. And so suddenly, we were alone.
We continued to head down towards the water, walking slowly but barely talking. I could tell there was a lot on Sebastian’s mind, as well as on my own. When we finally crossed the busy street that ran along the water
front, and came to look out at the ocean’s edge, the twilight hour was darkening into night. Stars were starting to come out one by one, and their silvery brilliance was reflected upon the surface of the sparkling, black waves. There were several boats in the harbor too, their lights shining back brightly at the city that was lit up and sprawled across the rising hill. It was a beautiful sight but I still couldn’t appreciate it, I was far too focused on the person by my side.
Sebastian was staring straight ahead at the ocean, his eyes looking like they could see for miles and miles. A cooler breeze was rising off the water and ruffling his hair, cooling us both down. I studied him with hungry eyes, feeling like it had been years since I’d really been able to look at him. I admired his stunning features; his large, mysterious eyes, his long lashes, his straight nose and soft, curved lips. I noticed the faint lines around his eyes and brows that had never been there before, and the sadness and exhaustion that seemed to be ever-present in his expression now, no matter how he attempted to hide it. Without thought or pause, I reached out to touch his cheek, my fingers itching to connect with him and break down the barriers that I felt building between us.
He turned to me as soon as my fingertips brushed his skin and a question hung in his eyes. I immediately pulled my hand away, almost guiltily, though I wasn’t certain why. He kept looking at me, kept waiting and I forced myself to stare back. The moment stretched between us, my heart heavy, my hopes bright.
The warm air was going to my head, the breeze was teasing at my heart and the stars and lights began spinning around us as I looked into his eyes. A shooting star suddenly arched high across the sky, its path perfectly reflected in the inky black waters below. And just as suddenly, the realization hit me. I heard the words Sebastian’s silence had spoken so clearly to my heart.
I had released Sebastian from my wants when I had come to the realization that all I wanted, all I truly needed or desired, was his happiness. But as I looked into his eyes, I realized then, in that moment, that all he had ever needed to be happy was my trust, my faith, my love.
