by Suzi Davis
It was so simple, so obvious, I couldn’t say why I hadn’t realized it sooner. And almost as if he saw my thoughts in my eyes, a smile started to slowly spread across his face, a warm, gentle, loving and thrilling smile that made my body tingle all over.
I reached out to him again just as naturally and impulsively as before but now with no doubts or hesitation. My hands slid around his neck, my fingers twisted tightly into his hair and I pulled his mouth down to mine, inhaling his breath as our lips crushed together. I became lost in the moment, in the night, in my love and fiery passion for him. Suddenly, the world made sense again.
Chapter Sixteen – An Invitation
Mags was out clubbing until the early hours of the morning. Sebastian and I had only just fallen asleep when she returned to our small hostel room, reeking of cigarette smoke and vodka. We had stayed up most of the night ourselves, talking, laughing, just being together and reconnecting. There was still some sadness left between us, still some hurtful memories. I knew that time would help the pain to fade but would never entirely erase it. And perhaps that was a good thing. Either way, we were now both ready to move on. The walls between us had been broken down and we were as close physically, mentally and emotionally than we had ever been before. I finally felt whole and at peace with the world, like everything was starting to make sense again and falling back under my control. I knew what mistakes I had made and how to fix them. I finally understood what I wanted, I knew what I needed and I wasn’t going to let anyone or anything stop me from getting it.
I awoke just after eight o’clock, knowing the library would be opening soon. The moment I first stirred, Sebastian’s eyes opened, a smile already on his face and his arms automatically tightening around me.
“Good morning,” he murmured, gently kissing the tip of my nose.
I smiled back at him, my heart light and happy for the first time in weeks.
“Perfect morning,” I corrected, wriggling forward on the mattress to kiss him back on the lips. It was a slow and lingering kiss and it took several minutes before we were both ready to speak again. “The library’s opening soon. We should get moving.”
“The library – again? Gracelynn, just because you want to find answers there – if they don’t exist, even you can’t create them,” Sebastian patiently pointed out.
I sat up and stretched, covering my mouth as I yawned. “The answers are there. I figured it out while we were sleeping last night and woke up with the realization.”
“What realization?”
“That we were looking at the problem the wrong way – we were wanting to find the wrong answer.” Sebastian stared back at me blankly and I smiled, pleased to be confusing him for once. “The hieroglyphics are clues to stop the Others, I’m certain of it. We had assumed that you encoded the answer within them but I remembered the designs last night in a dream – Caoilinn knew those symbols, Sebastian. They were in her spell book.”
He sat up and frowned, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“It’s possible… I remember having them tattooed over my ribs, and I remember thinking I would preserve the symbols for you but I can’t remember what they meant or why I should save them.” He squinted up at me, the strain of trying to remember obviously causing him pain and frustration. “I wonder if it’s one of my memories that Mags tampered with?”
“Relax.” I lightly ran my fingers through his messy hair, combing it back and attempting to smooth it down unsuccessfully. “It’s not important. I know those symbols were in the spell book, Sebastian – I remember them. Caoilinn must have traveled to Egypt or somehow encountered an Egyptian, or she found an artifact from there but somehow, she knew those symbols and she used them to hide vital information.”
Sebastian opened his eyes and peered up at me, taking in my steady expression and my firm, confident voice. He nodded, accepting the truth of my words and easily placing his trust in me.
“Alright,” he agreed. “But what difference does it make if Caoilinn knew of the symbols or not?”
“Because, we were assuming that their meaning was connected to Egypt somehow, because they’re hieroglyphics. But I think, no - I know that she would never have done something so obvious. She used an Egyptian code to hide an Irish secret. That’s why we need to go back to the library – we were searching in the wrong section.”
Sebastian bent down to pick his shirt up off the floor. He gave it a quick shake before pulling it on over his head and then standing up beside me.
“If you think this is what we need to do… let’s go then.”
I smiled, appreciating his easy trust more than ever.
I was certain this time that I’d figured things out. Everything just made so much more sense today than it had yesterday. With this newfound clarity I had awoken with, I felt like there was nothing that I couldn’t do. I knew we were going to find the answers we needed today and I hoped, that it would be in time.
“Should we wake Mags?” Sebastian asked, glancing at her, fully clothed and sprawled out over the top of her blankets, her hair a wild mess, her makeup smudged and her snores soft and steady.
“No, let her rest. We don’t need her for this and if everything goes the way we want it to, we should be back here by noon anyway.”
“And she’ll probably still be asleep,” Sebastian commented with a half-smile. I found myself smiling too and shaking my head.
“I’m just glad she came back. It makes me nervous leaving her alone but…”
“We want her to stay with us, so she will. We’re all she has, now that she can’t remember anyone else,” Sebastian pointed out. I shifted uncomfortably as I was struck by another wave of guilt. He was right, she was our responsibility now.
“We won’t be long,” I repeated as I led the way from our room.
It was another hot and beautiful day outside. I set a fast pace to the library, working up a sweat. The day seemed brighter and more beautiful to me, full of hope and possibilities. The sky was a hot, summer’s blue, the buildings bright and white, the air full of excitement and noises as the city awoke and came to life.
We found the library easily, without ever consulting the map. The doors had just opened as we approached and the library staff greeted us with familiar and curious smiles. I took Sebastian straight to the computers, gesturing for him to sit down in front of the screen.
“I’m useless with the computer system here,” I admitted. He grinned at my slightly sour tone.
“You’re not useless at anything,” he argued, he was still smiling though as he sat down and logged on.
“Alright, so what are we searching for?”
“Start with the broadest search parameters possible. Search for mother, fertility, strength, power, sacrifice, death, destruction and add ‘Irish history’,” I instructed. Sebastian obliged and so our search began.
We spent the morning searching for different variations of the symbol meanings and definitions that we knew. It wasn’t until just before noon when Sebastian typed in “mother, child, sacrifice, power, death, Irish, myths and legends” that we finally found what we were looking for – a perfect match of 8/8 words.
“Ireland’s Earth Mother,” Sebastian murmured, letting the mouse arrow hover over the title on the screen. It was a link to an article posted online, written by a graduate student studying Irish symbolism and lore as part of a thesis. I leant down over Sebastian, resting my chin on his shoulder as he clicked on the link. We read together, our breaths held.
The article began by describing the importance of the female figure in ancient Celtic societies and lore. Women were powerful, fertility was celebrated and considered a gift to be shared. The legend of the Earth Goddess or the Earth Mother was often told through paintings, sculptures and other artifacts from that time.
The Earth Mother was the Goddess who created Ireland, pulling the island up from the ocean’s floor and blessing it with fertile green lands and life. She loved the land and gave it to the children of the
Earth, often walking among them in disguise so that she might rejoice alongside them.
The Earth Mother loved Ireland so much that she fell in love with a mortal man and joined with him in celebration of all the life around them. A new life was created within the Earth Mother and a child was born who was half-God, half-man.
The Gods did not approve of the Earth Mother walking alongside the mortals who worshipped them. They were angered when they realized that she had born a child of man. As a warning to her, the Gods killed her lover and threatened to end the life of her half-God son if she did not separate herself from the mortals.
The Gods had not anticipated the strength of the Earth Mother’s love for her child. Mad with pain from the loss of her lover and overwhelmed by fear for her child, the Earth Mother did the only thing she could think to save her son from the Gods’ wrath, she turned her powers on herself. She sacrificed all she knew to protect her child and pass on to him her powers so that he might rise up and join the Gods as their equal – and he did.
The Earth Mother’s body joined her mortal lover’s in the earth and her fierce spirit flowed freely into the people of the land. The mothers learned to protect their children above all else and the people of Ireland were forever known for their passionate and faithful ways.
I KNEW SEBASTIAN had finished reading at the same time I had, but neither of us spoke or moved. It was clear to me that this was the legend that Caoilinn had wanted to remember, this was the answer to the problem that we faced. The Goddess had sacrificed herself to save her child. She had sacrificed herself to save the one she loved.
“Well…” Sebastian took a slow breath in through his nose. “I guess we’ll keep looking then.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “This is it – I know it is. This is the legend that Caoilinn wanted to remember, this is the only way to fix her mistakes.”
“What do you mean?” Sebastian turned around in his chair, staring straight at me with hard, demanding eyes.
“The only way to stop the Others, to take away their powers, is for me to sacrifice myself. There must be a way for me to take the Lost Magic from them through my death.”
“No.” Sebastian’s voice was flat, his eyes black and piercing. “Absolutely not. That is not what this means. We don’t even know if this is even the right legend that the symbols were meant to point us towards – they might not have been pointing us towards anything at all! This is just a story that’s been told and altered millions of times over the past few thousand years – it might not even be the same legend that Caoilinn knew. Sacrificing yourself would do nothing!” His voice was steadily rising, echoing around the library and bouncing back at us off the shelves of books.
I sighed, feeling strangely calm and centered. “I know this is the answer, Sebastian. I’m certain. Really, it’s okay,” I tried to reassure him. And it was okay; I was afraid but I was willing to do whatever it took to save him.
He jumped to his feet, grabbing me roughly by the shoulders and shaking me slightly as he spoke.
“Stop it, Gracelynn! You want to find a solution so badly that you’re grasping at anything that might be even remotely possible. What good would sacrificing yourself do? Caoilinn died before, remember? And the magic lived on without her.”
“Yes, but she didn’t want it to die with her, she wanted the magic to live on inside of you so that you might find her again. But this time… this time I know what I must do.”
“Stop talking like that,” Sebastian insisted, his fingers digging into my shoulders almost painfully. “This is ridiculous! Promise me you won’t do anything stupid – promise me you won’t try to sacrifice yourself.”
I stared back into his intense eyes, a peaceful calm settling over me and into my very soul. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that this was what I was supposed to do. I guessed that Sebastian knew it too and that was why it was hurting him so much. There were no other answers, there was no other way. But I loved him too much to cause him any pain if it were within my power to stop it.
“I promise,” I lied while looking him levelly in the eye. I wanted him to believe me, and he did. The worst part was, I didn’t even feel ashamed.
Sebastian pulled me tightly against his chest, hugging me and whispering in my ear.
“You don’t know how it scares me to hear you talking like that.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered back, meaning it with my whole heart. “It’s getting close to noon, we should go check on Mags.”
“I suppose we should. And then do you want to come back and keep searching?”
“No,” I answered a little too quickly. Sebastian pulled away from me to eye me suspiciously. “You’re right – we don’t even know what we’re looking for here and the Others will be coming for us soon, probably tonight or tomorrow… maybe we should run?”
Sebastian considered, raking his fingers through his hair.
“We could try. Perhaps if the three of us wanted to escape them, and they only send five or six after us… We could go to Egypt and try to finish deciphering the hieroglyphics, discover the real meaning behind these symbols.”
I nodded, carefully not reacting to his words.
“Let’s run then,” I agreed, knowing the whole while that we had absolutely no chance of escaping the Others but it was better than sitting around waiting for them to catch us.
“We’ll go get Mags and leave today, this afternoon in fact. No more buses or trains – we’ll head straight to the airport.”
Sebastian seemed happier now, focused and ready with a course of action decided upon. He seemed to have completely forgotten about the Irish legend; I wondered if he had just pushed it out of his mind or if it was because I had wanted him to forget?
We hurried back to our hostel, Sebastian’s calm confidence fading with every step and being replaced by a frenzied sort of panic. The day that had begun with such warmth and optimism now felt harsh and overwhelming. The brightness of the sky hurt my eyes, the heat of the day was choking me, the air smothering and hot, the sun burning and blistering above us. The noise of the traffic and streets hurt my ears and the stunning white buildings blazed their reflected light into my eyes. There was a sense of dread and unease in the air that was undeniable. Our pace increased as we rushed back towards the hostel, we were nearly running by the time we reached its doors.
Sebastian froze as soon as we entered, his whole body tensed as he lurched to a stop, his hand on my arm in an iron grip that effectively held me still beside him.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, but in my heart I already knew.
“The Others,” he whispered. His eyes were wide as he turned to me. “They’re already here.”
“How many?” I calmly responded. Strangely, I wasn’t afraid or even that worried. I felt I knew exactly what to do.
“Just two I think, three at the most.”
“It’ll be safe for us to talk to them then.”
“I suppose so…” he frowned, his grip slowly relaxing on my arm. “This doesn’t feel right; I should have sensed them before now. There must be more, hiding nearby. Perhaps I should go up alone.”
“No.” My voice was firm yet soft. I spoke with an inner confidence and strength that I found myself calling upon more often these days and growing ever more familiar with. I knew he would be unable to deny me. “Let’s go together.”
I gently pulled my arm out of his grip and boldly stepped forward, leading the way to the stairs.
Despite my confidence and strength, I began to worry as we made our way up to the third floor. The Others were obviously waiting for us in our room – with Mags. I wondered how long they had been alone with her and what exactly they had been doing. I could only hope that Sebastian and I had wanted to keep her safe enough that it would be so, despite being separated all morning.
When we stepped out of the stairwell and entered the hall, we could clearly hear Mags’ voice floating towards us. Her words weren’t clear but her tone was; she so
unded angry – and afraid. The sound spurred both of us into action.
We rushed down the hall together, not caring that our loud, pounding footsteps gave us away. The Others would be able to sense Sebastian’s approach anyway. Sebastian reached the doorknob barely a second before me and threw the door open. He was half a step ahead of me as we entered the room, our eyes met by an unexpected and disturbing scene.
There were two of the Others waiting for us. They were both familiar to me, their names springing to my lips instantly like familiar friends.
“Darius, Jai,” I greeted them, immediately and automatically taking control. My voice was calm and soft yet still rang with authority.
“Caoilinn,” Jai stated in his gently accented voice. He bowed his head slightly in greeting before he seemed to realize what he was doing. A faint shade of pink flushed his brown cheeks. He seemed awed to be in my presence but of course he didn’t remember meeting me before – it was strange to have to remind myself that.
Darius sneered back at me, his dark eyes narrowing. He gave a small nod of acknowledgment before taking a slow, deliberate drag of the cigarette he held between his large fingers and then he turned his beady gaze onto Mags - poor Mags. My eyes widened in shock and my mouth popped open as I took in the horrifying sight of her.
Mags’ wrists had been tied to the rail of the top bunk. Though the bunk was low enough that she should have been able to stand, she hung lifelessly by her wrists, the rope bindings clearly cutting into and breaking her skin. Her head was slumped down on her chest, her thick reddish hair obscuring her face. I could clearly see the cigarette burns that marked up and down both her arms, the fresh blisters an angry, puffy red. Sebastian sharply inhaled his breath, noticing the burn marks at the same time I did. Darius’s smirk deepened while Jai just watched us both curiously with his large, almond eyes.
“Mags?” Sebastian called out softly. There was a barely detectable tone to his voice that made me look at him twice. I suddenly felt uneasy, aware he was about to do something incredibly dangerous if she did not answer. I wasn’t certain if I wanted to stop him or not, I was furious myself.
