by David Warner
Ms Maro gestured to someone behind him. ‘Come on, guys, come forward so we can all meet you!’
The cricket team took a step back to clear a path, and the two new potential recruits made their way to the front.
Davey sucked in a breath. He heard George hiss ‘Oh no!’ and Kevin turned and glared at him in horror. Then Davey’s eyes locked on Sunil. The team captain was as pale as a freshly minted zombie.
‘Has everyone met Tay Tui?’ Ms Maro put her arm around the new girl’s shoulder. ‘Tay loves cricket and can’t wait to try out for the team.’
The teacher’s eyes sparkled. ‘Of course, everyone knows our other candidate. He’s better known for his skill on the footy field but he tells me he loves cricket as much! I wouldn’t be surprised if he turns out to be the next Ricky Ponting!’ Ms Maro put her arm around the other potential cricketer.
It was Mo.
CHAPTER 4
KEEP IT DOWN!
Ms Maro wasted no time trying out Tay and Mo for the Sandhill Flats school cricket team.
Usually, the cricketers would have been glad to be out on the field playing, but this time their efforts looked half-hearted at best. Not that anyone was too bothered about Tay Tui trying out. After all, she was nice enough and if she could play cricket, well, it’d be good to have her on board. No, nearly everyone seemed happy for Tay to try out – everyone except Davey, who had already heard enough of Tay’s singing to last a lifetime. It wasn’t really the singing he couldn’t stand, but what she sang – that awful, stupid, mindless and gross ‘You’re My One, My Baby’. Really, who could listen to that song once, let alone 900 times?
Ivy Mundine seemed particularly pleased that another girl might join the team. But when it came to Mo, the cricketers would have voted as one, if they’d been asked: everyone would have been opposed.
It wasn’t because they didn’t like Mo, although nobody did like Mo, mainly because he didn’t like anyone much, especially cricketers. It was because everyone knew, especially Davey, Sunil, George and Kevin, that Mo hated cricket more than anything else in the world. So the cricketers were asking: Why? And because Mo was always making things up and couldn’t, as far as anyone could tell, be trusted, it was a triple: Why? Why? Why?
But Ms Maro appeared to be oblivious to the problem, which was why she’d promptly organised for the two potential recruits to show off their stuff.
Tay Tui, it turned out, had played wicket-keeper at her previous school. It was her favourite position, she said. So she donned the gloves and took her place behind the stumps.
‘Davey, you bat!’ Ms Maro called. ‘George, can you bowl?’
The boys nodded and took their positions.
Ms Maro clapped her hands. ‘Okay, guys, let’s do it!’
George walked back to his mark, then turned and stopped for a moment, looking at Davey.
Davey eyed him back. He was standing at the crease, tapping his bat, Kaboom, on the pitch. But all he could hear was:
‘You know you need me, baby,
It’s true, oo-oo-oo.’
Tay was at it again, singing that stupid song. Davey couldn’t think, let alone concentrate.
George ran in and bowled an inswinger. Davey, unable to get the dumb song out of his head, misjudged it. The ball caught the edge of Kaboom and whizzed behind him.
‘Out!’ For once, Tay had stopped singing. Davey looked around. She was holding the ball aloft in her glove. ‘Out!’ she called again.
Ms Maro clapped. ‘Well done, Tay! That was fantastic!’ She looked at Davey. ‘Tay’s pretty good, eh, Davey? But is she good enough for the Sandhill Flats school team?’
Davey looked at Ms Maro. She really was a nice teacher, and she did have lovely brown eyes, but sometimes he wished she was less . . . enthusiastic.
‘Yeah, she’s okay.’ He turned and trudged off the pitch.
Ms Maro asked George to bowl a few more, this time to Kevin, but it was pretty obvious that Tay had made the team.
Soon it was Mo’s turn. ‘I’ll bat,’ he said grinning and waving a cricket bat around like a butterfly net.
‘Deep, make sure you put him in it,’ Davey said under his breath to his best friend. ‘We’re depending on you.’
‘Thanks, Warner. Nice to be needed.’ Sunil flashed him a half-smile and strolled out to his bowling mark looking determined.
Mo stood at the crease with his feet wide apart and stuck his bat out in the air in front of him. He bounced around on the spot. ‘Send it down, Deep!’ he hollered, baring his teeth. ‘You can’t beat me!’
Keep it down, Clouter! Davey thought. Mo had no idea how to hold a cricket bat.
Sunil bowled a yorker. Mo swung wildly, but missed by a metre or so. The ball sailed through to Tay, who caught it with one glove. In a second, she’d returned it to Sunil.
Sunil bowled again, this time an off-cutter.
Again Mo missed.
‘Yeah!’ Davey whispered. With a bit of luck, Mo might not make the team. He looked at George and Kevin. Simultaneously, they all held up crossed fingers.
Sunil bowled another attempted yorker. This time Mo ran down the pitch and managed to get an edge to the ball before it bounced. Unfortunately, he hit it straight onto the bowler’s wicket, sending the bails flying.
Ms Maro clapped her hands again. ‘A good effort, Mo!’ she called. ‘Now, gather round, everyone, and let’s have a chat.’
When everyone was in earshot, Ms Maro launched into her coach speech. ‘I think we’ve got two new players with a lot of potential!’ she said. ‘Tay’s our new wicket-keeper and Mo is first reserve. A bit more practice, Mo, and you’ll soon be a key member of the team.’
She smiled so widely, Davey thought her face might crack. ‘Congratulations, Tay and Mo! You’re now officially members of the Sandhill Flats Primary School cricket team! Well done!’ She clapped for the hundredth time that day.
The cricket team clapped too, but everyone appeared to be going through the motions. The thought of having Mo on the team was more than any sane cricketer could bear.
‘Now, one more thing before we get back to training. This is serious . . .’ Ms Maro suddenly looked so sad Davey felt like he should give her a hug.
‘We’ve had a complaint . . . Someone – I don’t know who – apparently said something unkind to the Batfish last time we played them.’ Ms Maro glanced around. Davey thought her gaze lingered on him longer than the others.
‘Now, as I’m sure you’re all aware, at Sandhill Flats we play fairly, and putting the opposition off their game just isn’t cricket.’
Ms Maro looked again at Davey, but he had no idea why. After all, Sunil was the one who had a way with words. Davey could never have even thought of half the things Sunil came up with. Like ‘You smell like a fart in a firestorm’ and ‘Your sister chews cockroaches for fun’.
Ms Maro was still talking. ‘The bottom line is, if any one of you says anything to put the Batfish off their game, we forfeit the match.’ The teacher pursed her lips. ‘Is that clear?’
Davey glanced at Sunil.
‘Absolutely clear, Miss,’ Sunil said. ‘I don’t know who was responsible last time, but it will never happen again while I’m captain.’
‘Well, in that case, let’s get to work!’ Ms Maro handed a bat to Mo. ‘Here you go.’ She looked at Davey and smiled so her brown eyes sparkled. ‘Davey, can you show Mo how to stand and give him a few tips?’ She clapped her hands for the five-hundredth time that day. ‘We’re going to have so much fun! Watch out, Batfish!’
CHAPTER 5
A CRICKET CATASTROPHE
At lunchtime the next day, the Sandhill Flats school cricket team dawdled down to C playground for another training session.
Usually Davey and his friends looked forward to training so much they’d count down the minutes. This time, however, they’d have preferred to be anywhere else.
For one thing, they missed Dylan. On the upside, they’d at least now heard from their
friend, who had skyped George the night before and told him about his trip north, and how he’d seen the Big Banana and the Big Pineapple.
Also on the upside was the fact that everyone agreed Tay Tui might turn out to be an okay wicket-keeper – everyone, that is, except Davey, who still found Tay’s singing and that stupid B4U song annoying.
But the boys were extremely disappointed that Kevin couldn’t play on Friday against the Batfish, an unfortunate situation that had turned into a full-blown nightmare now Mo Clouter was in the team. Davey and his friends were unanimous about that – inviting Mo to join the team was like inviting a boa constrictor to a bandicoots’ picnic. There could only be one outcome – and it wouldn’t be pretty.
So, when they arrived at C playground to find Mo at the crease, swatting at balls like they were flies and yelling ‘Not fair!’ and ‘You’re toast!’ every time he missed, Davey and his friends nearly turned around and trudged back to the classroom to spend the forty minutes with Mr Mudge. Anything had to be better than this.
At least Tay Tui was friendly, abandoning her post behind the wicket to offer everyone Whopper Chomp lollies from an open packet. ‘I’ve never had these before!’ she said, smiling widely. ‘They’re the best!’
Davey and his friends each took a sweet and nodded knowingly. Whopper Chomps were their favourite.
‘Tay’s all right,’ Sunil said quietly in his captain’s voice to Davey as he took the last sweet in the packet. ‘She’s in.’
Yeah, if she’d stop singing for a minute, Davey thought.
Ms Maro rushed over. ‘Here you are!’ she exclaimed joyfully, as if they were Santa’s elves bearing gifts. ‘Now, Davey, you can be the other batter. Sunil, you have a turn bowling. You other two can practise fielding in slips.’
Davey plodded to the bowler’s end, dragging Kaboom behind him. He’d never felt so uninspired on a cricket pitch before.
Sunil paced out his run-up, then turned to face his nemesis. At least now Mo had his bat on the ground, but his feet were still wide apart, as if he was holding a golf club, and he was still bouncing on the spot.
Sunil ran in and bowled a full-length fast ball down the leg side. Mo ran out to meet it, trying to get his bat to it before it bounced. He missed and Tay Tui caught it and stumped him faster than Davey could say ‘Ha!’
‘Out!’ Tay called.
‘No’ fair! Gi’s another one! I’ll smash it!’ Mo was waving his bat threateningly in Sunil’s direction.
Ms Maro stepped in. ‘Okay, Mo, try again.’ She turned to Sunil. ‘Captain, we need to help our new recruit get up to speed. Bowl a little slower till Mo gets the hang of it.’
Sunil didn’t smile or nod; in fact, Davey was sure he saw his best friend grimace before turning to go back to his mark.
Ms Maro glanced at her watch. ‘Now guys, I have to pop down to the office for ten minutes. Keep it up and I’ll be back before you can say “Six!”’ She gave a tinkly laugh, then set off at a jog across the playground.
For once Sunil did as he was told, and bowled a slower ball. Mo managed to hit it and ran down the pitch. Davey ran too, but had to sidestep Mo, who had begun zigzagging in front of him.
‘Move over, Shorty!’ Mo laughed.
Now at the crease and waiting to bat, Davey tried to put Mo out of his mind, even though his batting partner was grinning like a pufferfish at the bowler’s end.
He breathed deeply and tried to focus. Eye on the ball. Eye on the ball . . .
‘You’re my one, my only, b-a-a-a-b-y-y-y,’
It’s no fun, I’m so lonely, b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-b-b-b-b-y-y-y-y-y.’
Tay was singing that stupid song again.
Aargh!
Sunil ran in and bowled a bouncer down the leg side. Davey thought he’d try his switch hit. He swapped the position of his hands and turned. But his timing was all wrong and in a split second the ball was in Tay’s gloves. Davey had to admit she was pretty good.
‘Close!’ she said, flashing him a smile.
‘She’ll catch you next time!’ Mo called from the other end of the pitch.
Davey bit his tongue and gave him a friendly wave.
‘If you care, if you care at all,
Just pick up your phone and make that call . . .’
Davey turned. ‘Hey Tay, keep it down!’ he said in a friendly tone.
‘What?’ Tay looked confused. ‘I didn’t say anything.’
‘You were singing.’
‘Was I? Oh, sorry.’ Tay shook her head as if she’d just woken from a deep sleep.
Davey tapped the pitch lightly with Kaboom and tried to focus again. Take a deep breath. Eye on the ball . . .
Sunil ran in. Just as he reached the bowler’s crease, Mo hooted loudly.
The noise took Sunil by surprise, and his ball went wide.
Davey let it go through to Tay.
‘Ha! Those Batfish are gonna win by a mile! Mo laughed.
‘Clouter, you’re on the team now,’ Davey called out. ‘You’re one of us!’
Mo laughed again, and did a little shake and a wriggle. ‘Maybe – or maybe not!’
Davey groaned.
‘Shania said Mo was a bit thick.’
Davey turned.
Tay was grinning at him. ‘But I kind of like him.’
Davey raised an eyebrow. ‘That makes two – you and his mum.’
‘He reminds me of Zac. You know, the tall one in B4U?’ Tay stared into the middle distance, as if she’d been hypnotised. ‘He’s got those dark eyes.’
‘Eeewww!’
Tay shrugged and smiled to herself. ‘You’re my one –’
‘“MY ONLY BABY”! I know!’ Davey had just about had enough. And it was only Tuesday.
CHAPTER 6
CLEAN BOWLED AND OUT
The big match against Batfish Beach Primary was only two days away and things weren’t exactly going smoothly for the Sandhill Flats team. Tay Tui had proved to be a more than able wicket-keeper and replacement for Dylan, but Mo Clouter was nothing short of a disaster as a temporary fill-in for Kevin.
Everyone knew Mo hated cricket, so why he’d volunteered to join the school team was a mystery.
‘He’s up to something,’ Davey said to Sunil as they dawdled into class on Wednesday morning.
‘Yeah, and we need to find out what.’
‘Deep, no more talk, unless it’s about HSIE,’ Mr Mudge barked.
Davey noticed that Mudge’s ears already had a blood-orange tinge. However, the lesson started out reasonably well. Mudge droned on about the discovery of gold in Australia. Davey tried to listen – especially because George had said there was gold in the swamp at Flatter Park, and Davey thought Mr Mudge might get around to telling them how to find it. But soon the familiar sound of a certain B4U song buzzed in his ear like a mosquito. Tay was at it again.
‘. . . pick up your phone and make that call . . .’
Davey tried to keep his eyes to the front. He figured that if he didn’t look at Tay he’d have less chance of focusing on what she was singing. But it didn’t work. For some reason, as soon as he heard the song he couldn’t hear anything else.
He glanced in Tay’s direction. She was in a trance again, staring into the middle distance as she sang. Davey noticed that on the desk in front of her was a Whopper Chomp packet.
Oh-oh, he thought. He’d seen this before. Mo Clouter had found a Whopper Chomp packet on his desk not so long ago and it had turned into a huge to-do because Sunil had hidden rotten egg gas in it. Mudge’s ears had stayed purple for days.
‘. . . you’re my on-ly, ba-a-a-a-b-b-b-y-y-y . . . ’
Tay’s hand reached absent-mindedly for the Whopper Chomp packet. She extracted a lolly and popped it in her mouth. The singing stopped.
But it was too late. ‘Who’s making that noise during HSIE?’ Mudge’s ears were tearing through the colours of the spectrum at the speed of sound. Davey couldn’t take his eyes off them.
‘Is that suppose
d to be singing? Whoever it is, don’t think you’re being funny.’ The teacher looked around accusingly.
Mo put up his hand. ‘It was Warner, Sir, singing that B4U song. He can’t stop thinking about them.’
Mudge’s cold gaze settled on Davey, his ears now violet.
Davey looked down at the desk in front of him. There, on top of his book, was Tay’s Whopper Chomp packet. Someone – Mo – had pushed it there.
Mudge marched over and bent down so close that Davey could see bristles peeking out of his nostrils.
‘Wa-a-a-a-r-ner!’ Mr Mudge grabbed the lolly packet. ‘What is this?’
‘Not sure, Sir,’ Davey mumbled. ‘It’s not mine.’ He didn’t say whose it was. He wasn’t a snitch.
‘They’re Warner’s, Sir.’ It was Mo.
Mudge’s ears had turned black. ‘Is that correct, Warner?’
Davey looked at Tay Tui. She’d turned blue and her face had frozen in fear. He couldn’t tell on her. ‘Um, I don’t know, Sir.’
‘So while I’m out here doing my darnedest to fill that empty head of yours with at least a smidgeon of knowledge’ – Mudge held up his thumb and forefinger to show how little knowledge he expected Davey to absorb – ‘you’re having a fine old time lazing around, singing songs and eating lollies. Is that right?’
‘No, Mr Mudge.’
‘Last time I found a packet of lollies on this table I recall that you were partly responsible.’ Mudge turned to survey the class. ‘And I promised you all then that if I ever found someone eating lollies again in class, I’d make an example of that person.’
‘Yes, Mr Mudge.’
‘Warner, I’m determined to teach you something, if it’s the last thing I do.’ Now Mudge’s whole head was purple. It looked like a giant eggplant with hair. ‘That’s it. Instead of playing sport on Friday you can help me polish the lawn bowls. And if there’s any time left over, I’m sure Mrs Trundle will be able to put you to good use.’
Mudge bared his teeth in an evil grin. ‘So that means you’ll miss the cricket match this week. You’re going to have to learn the hard way.’
